


Veidas (Invaders)

by SandyRook77



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, F/M, G!P, M/M, Multi, Natblida Conclave (The 100), Nightbloods, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Secret Clan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:54:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 45
Words: 128,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25319389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandyRook77/pseuds/SandyRook77
Summary: Since the moment Harlee could stand, she had a hard life. Found outside her family's home covered in blood as it burned to the ground. Brought to the city of Polis to begin training for the Natblida Conclave. Chosen instead to become the leader of a secret clan in a secret war against the Maunon.Twenty-plus years later, after countless battles and earning a reputation that even the hated Azgeda fears, Harlee is faced with a new challenge.Centuries after Praimfaya the sky has fallen. Releasing a hundred teens into the forests of Trikru. Ordered by Heda Lexa kom Trikru, Commander of the Twelve Clans, to infiltrate and spy on the Sky Fallen. Harlee is to determine their level of threat to the Coalition, but unbeknownst to her, the threat is to her heart.Falling hard and fast for the brash and intelligent Raven Reyes of Mecha Station, Harlee fights to remain unbiased. Because Raven and the rest of Skaikru might be the solution to ending the war with the Mountain.For the first time in her life, Harlee has to choose between the duty to her people or the duty to her heart. Will Raven be the one to finally tame the Trikova Heda (Shadow Commander)?Warning: Mention of abuse, G!P
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Raven Reyes/Harlee (O.C.)
Comments: 184
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know that I have plenty of stories to update, but writer's block has been hitting me hard lately. In order for me to try and alleviate it, I go back and reread the countless other stories that I've written snippets of. This one in particular, I started writing two years ago. It inspired my editing and writing, and well, I deleted a bunch of chapters and changed it, while keeping the premise. Now, I've got thirteen chapters of this written.
> 
> I'm keeping relationship tags off, but some of the usual ones will appear. Namely, Clexa and Octavia/Lincoln. But this is original character centric. So, you've been warned.
> 
> Even though the story takes place in Rothenberg's the 100 universe, it is AU. If any of you have read ArchonsVoice's From the Ashes, you may find similarities as the story progresses, and I realize now the changes I have made were inspired by it. So, this is my shoutout to ArchonVoice. Thank you for the inspiration. And if you haven't read it, give it a whirl. I enjoyed it and can't wait for them to post the sequel.
> 
> I think that's all I wanted to say for now. So, enjoy the first four chapters. Please comment, but be warned they will be moderated.

I stepped out of the elevator impatiently and made my way to the small audience chamber. I was annoyed at having been called away from my current mission and irritated that I had just spent the last three days in the saddle to get to Polis quickly. I shoved the door open and made my way to the side table that held a couple of pitchers and cups. I sniffed at them and found one to my liking before I poured myself a generous amount. I closed my eyes briefly at the coolness of the liquid as it slid down my throat. The tickle of the fumes from the alcohol as it wafted back up. I sighed and made my way over to the windows and looked out over the city.

Sipping the drink, I gazed out over the people moving about the market and wondered why I had been called back. I heard the door open and turned my head to gaze at the young woman who entered the room. I watched her lithe form walk to the same side table and pour herself a drink. She reminded me of one of the _sofstepa’s_ that frequented the Mountain. Graceful and light in step, power, and control evident in the play of her muscles and movements. Neither one of us spoke for a moment as she turned her gaze finally towards me. I arched a brow and leaned against the window sill, waiting.

She walked over to me, and I couldn’t help but let my eyes roam the length of her. A small smile played on her lips, letting me know that she knew exactly what she did to me. I shook my head slightly and took another drink.

“ _Heda_ ,” I said, breaking the silence and inclining my head towards her. “You sent for me?”

She closed her eyes briefly at the sound of my voice, making me smirk. I remembered too well what my voice could do to her.

“Thank you for getting here so quickly,” she replied, her voice low. “I apologize for taking you from your hunt.”

I shrugged, “My prey will be there when I return. Why am I here?”

“There has been a development in _Trikru _lands that I need further investigation.”__

__“And neither Anya nor Indra can help you in that endeavor?”_ _

__“They are monitoring the situation,” she replied, giving me a look. “They have sent scouts to keep watch.”_ _

__“If that is the case, then why am I needed,” I asked, taking a sip. “What’s the situation?”_ _

__She sighed and turned away from me, walking, and then sitting in a smaller version of her throne. I followed; my curiosity piqued._ _

__“Six days ago, something huge fell out of the sky near Anya’s village,” she said, observing me. “There were people inside this thing.”_ _

__Shocked, I found myself temporarily at a loss for words but quickly found them again, “ _Ridiyo_? People from the sky? That’s impossible.”_ _

__“Truth. People have fallen from the sky. They appear to be like the Mountain Men.”_ _

__Understanding, I replied, “That is why you have called me. They are like the _Maunon_ , and you wish me to what, exactly?”_ _

__“I wish you to infiltrate them,” she said, “Find out who they are and why they are similar. Why they fell out of the sky and why they were heading towards the Mountain.”_ _

__I rubbed the bridge of my nose and sighed, “You wish me to insert myself? Wouldn’t it just be easier to kill them and be done with them before they reach the Mountain?”_ _

__“That is the consensus, but I want more information before I make that decision.”_ _

__“So, I am to do a threat assessment as well? And if I find them to be a threat?”_ _

__“Then do what you must,” she answered evenly._ _

__“Very well, _Heda_. I’ll leave tomorrow after I inform my men.”_ _

__She nodded, “Thank you.”_ _

__“Was there anything else?”_ _

__“Not really.”_ _

__“Than I shall take my leave,” I replied, bowing._ _

__She nodded, and I walked out of the room. I walked over to the stairs and quickly descended a flight and slipped into a suite of rooms. I smiled to myself, seeing the usual disarray and headed into the washroom. After I had cleaned the week's worth of dirt and grime, I went back out into the main room and divested myself of my outer layers and collapsed onto the couch. I dozed, and when I heard the door open, I smiled to myself and watched her through slitted eyes as she walked over to me._ _

__“It has been too long, Harlee,” she said as she straddled my lap._ _

__I chuckled and pulled her down into a kiss, “It has most definitely. Have you missed me, Lex?”_ _

__She kissed me again in answer, hungrily, as I ran my hands up her back. Our mouths fought for dominance as we quickly rid ourselves of our clothing. She gasped as my fingers slid between us and found her wet and wanting, thrusting my fingers deep in her. As my fingers continued their assault, I trailed my mouth down her neck, nipping and sucking as I went until I found her already hardened nipples. I throatily chuckled as I took one in my mouth. She moaned loudly, driving my own desire as I gave her exactly what she wanted. Her hips rocked against mine in time to my fingers, my thumb rubbing her clit. It had been months since we’d seen each other, making her cum quickly and violently. I didn’t stop as my need drove me to make her cum again and again until I came in an explosive bout that brought a loud guttural noise from my throat._ _

__When I felt some strength return, I picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around my waist. I carried Lexa over to her bed and collapsed as my exhaustion finally caught up to me, and I fell into a deep sleep with her nestled in my arms._ _

__Later that evening, she had food brought up to the room, and we spent it catching up. This was how it always was for us. There was no real emotional attachment other than a kinship that had spanned nearly our entire lives. The sex was all about filling a need for both of us. She had no desire to gain any more involvement than that thanks to the Ice Queen. One of these days, I knew that she would eventually pay the price for torturing and killing Lexa’s lover and that Lexa would be the one to do it._ _

__In the morning, we shared a lengthier tumble before I headed to where my warriors were bivouacked._ _


	2. Chapter 2

I headed straight to my room at the top of the barracks my men stayed in when we were in Polis. I had barely closed the door when my Second-in-Command, Deke, entered. I glanced at him before moving behind a partition and stripping off my clothes. A pile of clean leathers appeared over the partition, and I took them with a smile.

“What news, _Wocha_ ,” Deke asked as I began dressing.

“Invaders from the Sky,” I replied with a sigh. “That ball of fire Salem observed seven days ago was, in fact, a ship. They appear to be like the _Maunon_.”

“That is disturbing,” came his gruff response. “What is it that _Heda_ expects from us?”

I sat down to pull my boots back on, “From us, nothing. From me, well, she expects me to infiltrate and assess them. They attempted to cross into _Maun-de_ territory on their first day.”

Deke let out a low rumble that resembled a growl, and I heard him begin to pace, “That is unfortunate. Were the _Trikru_ scouts able to keep them from _Maun-de_?”

“As far as I know,” I replied, standing and stomping to settle my boots. Stepping from the partition, I looked at him, “I plan to travel to Tondc and confer with Indra and Anya. I’m taking the twins with me.”

“And what about the rest of us, _Wocha_ ,” Deke asked, looking at me intently.

I started repacking my saddlebags, “You and the rest here are to head leisurely to Tondc. Join in on Indra’s Reaper patrols, but I also want tighter scout rotations on _Maun-de_. There is no way that they missed the object falling. I fully expect them to send out their own scouts to observe these _Skaikru_. Do not interfere unless it appears they are approaching the _Skai goufas_. No matter what, they cannot align. _Nami_?”

“ _Sha, Wocha_ ,” Deke replied with a head nod. “I will go and inform the twins to get their things and the hawks together.”

“ _Mochof_ , Deke,” I replied, beginning to strap my weapons back on.

He left, closing the door behind him. With a sigh, I finished strapping on my weapons and grabbed my bags before following Deke out the door. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I was met by Theseus. A young man that was more like a brother to me after being trained by his mother. He was barely past seventeen summers but had already seen plenty of fighting in the two years he’d been with the Shadow Riders.

“Thes,” I greeted him and continued to head out of the barracks and to the stables.

As expected, he followed me out the door, easily keeping stride, “You’re leaving?”

“ _Sha_ , Thes,” I replied, barely glancing at him. “The Riders will be following later.”

“What’s the mission,” Theseus asked, eager to be in the know.

I sighed internally, but answered, “Reaper patrols and watching the Mountain. Not much different than our usual, Thes. The only difference is that you’ll be following Deke’s and General Indra’s orders. Not mine.”

“Why’s that,” he asked as we entered the stables.

“Because I have a different mission, Thes,” I told him and headed straight for the stall that housed my stallion, Hades.

“Well,” Theseus persisted after I became silent as I began checking over Hades.

I growled in irritation and straightened to look at him with a glare, “Theseus, I am your Clan Chief and your Commanding Officer. Just because my mentor, your mother, raised me alongside you does not give you the privilege of knowing everything I do. You are my subject and my subordinate, not my brother.”

He lightly scowled but looked appropriately abashed, “My deepest apologies, _Wocha_. I will endeavor to correct my behavior.”

That made me sigh, and I stopped what I was doing to look at him, “Thes, I understand your eagerness, but today it is misplaced. If I thought your inquiry came from a place of concern and not curiosity, I might have answered differently.”

Theseus sighed, nodded, and gave me a sheepish grin, “I understand. I guess I still have a lot to learn, huh?”

Seeing that he wasn’t going to sulk, I smiled, “You do. You’ve done well in the two years you’ve been with us, Theseus. And I am proud of you. But don’t be so eager to get in the middle of things. If you need to know, you’ll know.”

He nodded again, “I get it. So, this mission of yours, is it dangerous?”

I went back to preparing Hades as I answered, “I don’t anticipate it to be, but I am bringing backup if I need it.”

Theseus sighed, “You know I do worry about you, Lee.”

“I know, Thes,” I replied, slightly smiling. “And I appreciate it. I promise that I will be careful.”

“You better,” Theseus lightly glared at me, “or _Nomon_ will have your ass.”

My smile widened, “I’m sure she will.”

With that, we talked about more mundane things as the twins showed up and began saddling up their horses. When the three of us were ready, we met Deke outside the stables.

Deke came up to me and laid a tender hand on my shoulder, “You’ll be careful, right?”

I nodded and gave him a grin, “I’ll be careful, Deke. I expect the same.”

“I’ll keep an eye on the kid,” Deke said knowingly.

“Don’t coddle him, Deke,” I reprimanded him. “If he wants to lead, he needs to grow. Make mistakes and learn from them. Just…keep everyone on a tight leash. These invaders mark a change, and I have a feeling that things are going to get messy.”

Deke frowned, “Should I send a messenger to Maria?”

I frowned as well and replied, “ _Sha_ ;. Tell her to ready a company of two hundred with another of a hundred in reserve. Infantry and artillery only. No cav.”

“Engineers?”

I shook my head, “No, we’re good with Danyel and his two. If we need more, we can send a message. For now, have the scouts monitor the tunnels and the dam. Make sure that you inform Indra if there’s an increase in activity.”

Deke nodded, “Noted. You better get going if you want to make Tondc before dinner.”

I grimaced, “You’re right. I’ll send a hawk if I need to speak with you otherwise, lead at your discretion.”

“ _Sha, Wocha_ ,” he bowed his head and stepped back. “Nott guide you.”

“And you as well,” I replied and mounted Hades.

The twins followed suit, and with a last nod to Deke and Theseus, we headed out of Polis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nott is the Norse Goddess of the night. Since Harlee's people are a secret clan and operate out of the shadows, she seemed appropriate. Plus, this clan follows Norse paganism, even though Theseus and Hades are Greek names.


	3. Chapter 3

It took the twins and me six hours to reach Tondc. The sun was barely cresting the top of the trees as we neared the village gates. The moment the gate guards saw me in my black armor on my black horse flanked by two equally black-clad warriors, a path was cleared. As we rode through the gates, eyes were dropped, and silence descended. It wasn’t out of reverence but rather fear.

My presence anywhere in the Coalition was seen as a bad omen. My official title was the _Trikova Heda_ , the Shadow Commander, but I was commonly called _Trikova_. And where I went, Death usually followed. On the surface, my men and I were no more than _Heda’s_ attack dogs. The first sign of rebellion or disobedience, and we were sent to stop it. Most of the time, we roamed the northern _Trikru_ border to keep _Azgeda_ from slipping their leash and the _Maun-de_ from traveling too far. A pack of wolves that left horrific images behind of what happens when you go against _Heda_. Even the Ice Queen had come to fear us.

But that was only what was on the surface. Our real mission was to bring down the Mountain. Using whatever means necessary. My clan, _Trikovakru_ , the Shadow Clan, is the only clan in existence that uses _tek en fayagons_. Created in secret by the third _Heda_ after a devastating battle between the clans and the Mountain. One where the Mountain came out the winner, and the ban of _fayagons_ began. Though, of course, two centuries later, the truth became shrouded in myth. And _Trikovakru_ were the _wuskripas_ of people’s nightmare.

When we reached the stables, we were greeted by Indra herself. I dismounted and handed the reins to one of the twins.

“Feed and water only,” I instructed them. “We’ll be leaving after I’m done. But do and get yourselves something to eat."

“ _Sha, Wocha_ ,” they replied in unison.

I turned to Indra and greeted her politely, “ _Wocha_ Indra, it is good to see you again.”

Indra bowed her head slightly, “ _Monin, Trikova_. What brings you to Tondc?”

I grinned and gestured that we should start walking, “My scout witnessed the sky falling last week. Now, rumors have reached me that the _Maunon_ have learned to walk the ground. And that they have set up camp not far from this very village. Nor very far from where my own camp had lain. Tell me, Indra, why was I not informed? Why did I have to travel out of my way to Polis and hear it from _Heda_?”

Indra blanched, but recovered quickly, “They are _goufas, Trikova_. Barely surviving and hardly a threat. We felt no need to raise your awareness.”

I looked over at Indra, raising my brow in question, “Is that your opinion or _Wormana Onya’s_?”

Indra cleared her throat, “ _Wormana Onya’s_ arguments were compelling, _Trikova_. I would appreciate your opinion on the matter, though. Your insight into the _Maunon_ would be beneficial.”

I stopped our walk and turned to level a hard gaze on Indra. I watched as her eyes lowered, unable to keep my gaze.

“Do not presume to kiss my ass, Indra,” I spoke low. “I know both your opinions of me. You think me a high _tek_ butcher. Worse than _Azgeda en Maunon_ combined.”

“I meant no offense, _Trikova_ ,” Indra quickly interjected.

I rolled my eyes and began walking again, “No offense was taken, Indra. I would have to care about what you think of me to feel offended. You do not have to like my methods or even approve of them, but you will respect me and mine.”

“Of course,” Indra replied, catching up to me. “Can I assume that _Heda_ has sent you?”

“You assume correctly, Indra,” I replied. “She wishes me to infiltrate and assess the threat.”

Indra nodded, “That is wise. As I have said, they appear like _goufa_. Very few of them seem capable of finding food. Even less appear to have any combat skills outside of what is needed in a bar brawl. One of our scouts, Lincoln, reported that there were a hundred of them on their arrival. Two already dead. They attempted to cross the boundary into _Maunon_ territory, but a border scout was able to deter them. A third nearly died from that encounter. Several days later, as I am sure you are aware, the _Maunon_ sent their fog and killed three more of them. Since then, they have barely strayed from their camp. They managed to build a wall to surround them, but with little effort, it will fall. One of them did appear to have a _fayagon_ , but after the third day, there has been no sign of it.”

I nodded at her report, “What have the scouts overheard? Why, after all this time, have they come down? Will more follow?”

“The scouts have reported that their home, a place called the Ark, is dying,” Indra told me. “They are criminals. Sent down because their leaders did not want to risk valuable people to a land that was thought to still be deadly.”

I frowned, “Deadly? How?"

“They thought the ground would kill them. Perhaps as the air kills the _Maunon_ ,” she replied with her own frown.

I nodded, “There was a theory after _Praimfaya_ that it would take the Earth hundreds of years to heal itself. Thanks to _Bekka Pramheda_ and those that survived, it took far less. But please continue.”

Indra nodded, accepting my knowledge, and continued, “There is a dispute within the camp. One group wishes to let the rest of their people die. The other, to bring them down. A tall, lanky boy leads the one that wishes their people to die. Arrogant, belligerent, and uses intimidation to get his way. He breeds aggressiveness and is rather combative. A blonde girl leads the other group. She is a _fisa_ and is focused on compromise to get her people to work together. Level-headed with a few loyal to her.”

“Have the scouts heard how long before the people in the sky will die,” I questioned.

“No more than a couple of moons, maybe less,” Indra replied.

I paused in our walk and frowned in thought, “That might cause them to become desperate. If the group here cannot communicate with the ones in space, they will not know about the clans. And if they do not know and are desperate to come down, they may destroy much of our land. Villages. People. This is troubling.”

“Then would it not be more prudent to attack and wipe these invaders out before they can contact their people in the sky,” Indra pushed.

I shook my head, “The problem with that is if we wipe these out, that may not stop the rest of their people. And if their people come down and find out what we did, that could lead to war. Worse, it could lead them to align with the _Maunon_. If the _Maunon_ truly have _tek_ that can wipe entire villages out…the devastation would be catastrophic. No. For now, we remain in observation. Striking before we have all the facts is…”

“I understand, _Trikova_ ,” Indra replied. “I’ll ensure that our _gonas_ remain at a distance.”

“They can intervene if the _Skai goufas_ travel too far into our lands, Indra,” I reminded her. “That does not change. On a side note, my Second will be bringing the rest of our current unit in a few days. He’ll coordinate with you on Reaper patrols. The two I brought with me will join the scouts around the _Skai goufas_. They’ll act as my messengers and keep you and _Heda_ informed of my progress.”

“Very well,” she agreed. “That is all my scouts have reported to me, _Trikova_.”

“Alright,” I said and looked up at the sun to gauge the time. “Do you have a map of where they are?”

“ _Sha_ ,” Indra said and gestured back towards the center of the village. “It is in my war room. If you’ll come with me.”

I nodded, and we headed back. An hour later, the twins and I were back in the saddle and headed to a clearing halfway between Tondc and the Sky camp. It was going to serve as our base of operations. Well, really, it was going to be where the twins hung out while I pretended to be a _skai goufa_. The camp was quickly set up, and we relaxed around the fire while I explained to them what I expected from them. Before long, we settled down for the night and mentally readied ourselves for the next day.


	4. Chapter 4

As I had since I was a toddler, I woke during false dawn. Dreams and faded memories were chasing me into wakefulness. I went to sit up, but arms tightened their hold around my middle, keeping me in place. I knew then that my dreams had been worse than I wanted, which meant that I dreamt of Before.

Before was a time that I wished to forget ever existed, but memories are fickle things. The subconscious remembers what the conscious wishes to forget. Before was a time where I experienced incredible cruelty. At the hands of my parents, no less. And all because my older brother and I were not the legacies my parents wished to have.

My brother, _Keryon_ , bless his sensitive soul, more interested in healing and art than finding glory on the battlefield. Me, well, I was simply born different. My blood as black as night meant I was destined for Polis and the possible throne of _Heda_. My blood destined me for death. It did not help that my body and soul were at odds with one another.

Instead of sending us away, our parents tried to beat us to change who we were. All it did, was cement who we and what we were meant to be. I protected my brother from my parents' cruelty. My body riddled with scars to prove my devotion to him. Then my brother got his chance to escape when a healer from a neighboring village came and chose him to become his _seken_. I, still too young, was left alone with my parent’s hatred. Until one day, I had had enough. I stood outside my family home, watching it burn to the ground. All the while, I was drenched in red and black blood. I wasn’t even five winters yet.

I never spoke of that day. Not to the _Heda_ of the time. Not to the _Fleimkepa_. Not to the other _Natblidas_. I talked to no one, but that day marked the end of Before. Now, I am left with old scars and memories that bleed through my dreams. Dreams that leave me to find myself waking up in the arms of certain privileged members of the Riders. Like my Second. And like the twins.

I felt one of the twins, shift, and their breathing changed. Marking them towards the edge of wakefulness. Four heartbeats later, and the other was joining them. As much as I wanted to move, I lay their patiently, waiting for them to wake up. The twins were notorious for throwing tantrums if they were forced to wake up before their time. Everyone in the Riders had learned long ago to let them be.

“You wake yet,” the twin on my right huskily spoke. I identified him as Avil.

“Who’re you askin’,” I replied, my own voice rough from sleep, along with my linguistic skills.

“You, a’course,” his twin, Thor, spoke up.

I rolled my eyes, “Oh, of course. ‘Ken I get up now?”

“S’pose,” Avil drawled, and the twins moved away simultaneously.

I wriggled free from the confines of my bedroll and sprang up, “Thank fuck. I’ve had to piss for the last twenty.”

The twins laughed, and I just flipped them off before heading outside to relieve myself. Ducking back into the tent, the twins were still stretching laconically, making me shake my head with a small smile on my face.

“You two are lazy,” I said, smirking as I moved around to begin dressing for the day.

“No,” Thor languidly replied. “We are not lazy. Each movement is no more and no less than absolutely necessary.”

I snorted, “The word you are looking for is efficient, _Tristraka_. Which, first thing in the morning, you are not. Now, get your lazy asses out of bed. Decide which of you is coming with me and which is warding the camp.”

The twins grumble but sit up and do some weird hand game to decide who’s doing what. I shake my head at their absurdity before heading out of the tent to start the fire. Fifteen minutes later, they’re out of the tent and eagerly awaiting for the coffee to finish. I just roll my eyes and continue to make breakfast.

Watching me, Avil asked, “So, what exactly are we doing, _Wocha_? Deke didn’t give us any clue except to watch your back and relay messages.”

I sighed and looked up from where I was making eggs, “The object Salem observed falling from the sky a week ago held people. _Goufas_. Sent down to either die or see if people could survive here.”

The twins share a look, and Thor said, “I don’t understand. Our people never left.”

I nod at his words, “True. These _goufas_ are descendants of those who fled to the sky before _Praimfaya_. To understand, you’d have to look at the archives. But, the short answer is that these people’s calculations were based on incomplete information. Remember, it took our people a good ten, twenty years before we could survive without getting sick and dying above ground. Then another thirty before the land was healed enough to begin providing once more. I guess that these Sky People never bothered to continue to monitor the Earth while they orbited the planet.”

The twins nodded in understanding.

I continued, “Anyway, their arrival is a matter of security. They attempted to reach the _Maun-de_ on their first day but were turned away. _Heda_ is concerned about whether they were attempting to align themselves with them. The scouts haven’t heard or seen enough to determine if the _Skai goufas_ are even aware that there are people in the _Maun-de_. They seemed surprised to find that we exist.”

Avil frowned and took the kettle off the fire to begin pouring for us, “ _Wocha_ , why do you call them _goufas_?”

I began plating our meals as I answered, “They are young around Thes’ age. But they are untrained with no skills to speak of. They cannot hunt or identify edible food. Their defenses are laughable. And even though they are starving, they seem intent on treating their time like they are on leave. Drinking, partying, sex. Survival is low on their priorities. Except for a few.”

“Can they speak with those still in the sky,” Thor asked as he began to eat.

I shrugged, “Not that I am aware of. If they are a scouting group, they were woefully unprepared. So, my mission is to determine if these _Skaikru_ are a threat. And if they are, to remove them. You two will take turns watching my back and relay information to Deke and _Heda_.”

“That…sounds…boring,” Avil complained.

“Would you rather sit and watch the _Maunon’s_ dam or ride _Ripa_ patrols,” I countered, leveling a glare at him.

Thor nudged him, “Don’t be a _branwoda_ , Av. I’d rather watch _goufas_ make fools of themselves than watch the dam.”

Avil nodded and then grinned, “You’re right. This will be far more entertaining.”

I snorted a laugh and shook my head at them, “Entertain yourself but keep me safe. That’s your priority.”

“ _Sha, Wocha_ ,” they replied in unison.

We lapsed into silence to finish breaking our fast. After, Avil and I were riding out and heading to the outer ring of scouts encircling the _Skaikru_ camp. It took us a few hours before a _Trikru_ scout dropped from the trees and in front of our path.

Beneath his warpaint and mask, I observed the scout to be rather young. Silently, I watched him tremble, unable to look us in the eyes. I heard Avil quietly snicker, and I shot him a glare to silence him.

“ _Chilnes, fossopa_ (Peace, scout),” I spoke low. “Who leads you?”

The young scout visibly swallows before stuttering, “ _Wormana Onya, Trikova_.”

I nod, “We are to join in the observation.” I gestured to Avil, “He and his brother will roam close. I will be closer. We are not to be interfered with. _Nami_?”

“ _Sha, Trikova_ ,” the scout replied, bowing his head.

“ _Os_ ,” I said with a small smile. “Where can I find _Linkon kom Trikru_?”

The scout looked up at me in surprise, but quickly ducked his head once more, “He should be near the _flapkrasha_ (butterfly) fields to the west of the _Skai_ camp, _Trikova_.”

“ _Mochof, fossopa_ ,” I said. “You may return to your duties.”

The scout nodded and nimbly climbed back into the trees.

I turned to Avil, “We’ll leave the horses here. I want you to get close to the camp and begin observing them. Be on the lookout for someone that fits my general description. One that wanders alone.”

“ _Sha, Wocha_ ,” Avil replied. “What will you be doing?”

“Getting some better information than what Indra gave me,” I said as I turned Hades into a nearby copse with Avil following. “I’ll find you when I am done.”

Dismounting and giving his horse a decent lead, “Sounds good, boss. Be careful. Yeah?”

I joined him on the ground, handing him my reins, and clapping him on the shoulder, “Always.”

He nodded, and I took off. I passed unnoticed by several scouts until I found my quarry. Leaning against the trunk of a tree I had perched on, I took a moment to watch him.

_Linkon kom Trikru_ was a big man. Clothed in the garb of a _Trikru_ scout with a mask covering the lower half of his face. His head was shaven except for a thin strip that ran the length of his head. _Linkon_ was perched on his own tree branch. As comfortable as the squirrel that was sitting on a smaller branch above him.

Shaking myself, I sent out a specific bird call to grab his attention. Lincoln’s head swiveled to find the direction, and I called out again. When his eyes zeroed in on me, I gestured to climb down and meet me. He nodded warily and began to climb down. I climbed down and leaned against the trunk of the tree as I waited for him.

Barely a rustle betrayed his arrival, and I looked up into eyes I hadn’t seen in years. When Lincoln saw my armor, he visibly paled, and his steps faltered, but he did not run.

He bowed his head in respect and spoke quietly, “ _Trikova_ , it is an honor.”

I sighed, straightening as memories flooded my mind once more, “Hello, brother. It’s been a long time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is the end of my four chapter beginning. I hope I've piqued your interest and you keep reading my latest story. Luckily, the writing gods have smiled upon me and I'm finally getting snippets of new chapters for my other stories. Keep a lookout and I hope that you're practicing safe distancing and not going to cuckoo with the quarantine.
> 
> Until next time, my lovelies.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that since I've got several chapters already written and edited, I'm going to do a chapter a day. Well, as long as the writing gods continue to smile upon me. So, enjoy.

Lincoln’s head snapped up, and he took a step closer. I held his gaze and witnessed when recognition finally crossed his face.

“Lee,” Lincoln exclaimed in shock.

I lowered my chin in agreement but stayed silent. He raised his hand like he wanted to touch me but wasn’t sure if I was real or not. Slowly, to not startle him, I reached into my armor and pulled out a crude wooden pendant. A crudely carved wolf dropped out of my hand from a strip of leather. Lincoln’s breath hitched, and I watched as he came closer. His hand wrapped around the worn wood, and I let go.

He examined it and then looked at me in wonder, “How?”

I cleared my throat, “A story for another time. I need to speak with you about these _Skai goufas_.”

He nodded, handed me the wolf back, and gestured further west, “I know someplace we can talk.”

I nodded as I tucked the pendant back underneath my armor and followed him. We traveled a ways until we came to a cave. Lincoln ducked inside, and I followed, stepping to the side to allow my sight to adjust to the darkness. A minute later, a fire flared up, and I blinked to see Lincoln crouching before a small fire. Looking around, I noticed drawings along the cave walls. Unthinkingly, I moved to the closest one. Reaching up, I slowly traced the lines, smiling at the details.

“You still draw,” I said, my eyes roaming the images along the walls.

“ _Sha_ ,” Lincoln replied, drawing my attention to him.

“You’re good,” I said, moving away and closer to him.

“I thought you were dead,” Lincoln replied instead.

I shrugged, “No one knows of my origins. Only of how I was found. I have never spoken of you.”

“You are ashamed,” he spoke quietly.

I shook my head and stepped forward to appease him, “Not of you. Never you. I didn’t want to taint your soul with my sins, Lincoln. I am the human personification of a monster. A living _wuskripa_ (boogeyman). I exist solely to bring death to my enemies.”

He stood up from his crouch to face me, “I never—”

I wanly smiled, “I know. I regret nothing.”

He swallowed and then nodded, “Will you tell me sometime?”

“If I have time,” I replied. “After this. Tell me about the children.”

He gestured for us to sit around the fire, and we did. Lincoln then told me about the Sky children. Everything that Indra had told me but in greater detail. Lincoln provided drawings of some of the more noteworthy people within the camp. What he had overheard, word for word, even though he only understood a fraction of what they spoke. Lincoln spoke of their lack of knowledge and skills. Though, one of them appeared to have the expertise of a _fisa_. She was keeping them alive almost through sheer determination. Lincoln gave me names and descriptions as I studied his drawings to commit them to memory. Personality quirks.

Lincoln’s artistic eye leaned to his ability to observe the smallest detail, which proved his worth as a scout. I realized that I could use someone like him in my Riders, but also knew that it was not a life he could comfortably live with.

When he was done, Lincoln looked at me for a long moment and then asked, “Why are you here, Lee? Why seek me out when any other scout could have relayed this information to you?”

I picked up a small stick and began drawing in the dirt before me, “I have…unique skills and knowledge that allows me to infiltrate the Sky children. Without them being any wiser. _Heda_ wishes an informed assessment to determine their threat. And to find out if their people will be coming down. I understand what _Trikru_ scouts do not.”

Lincoln nodded in understanding, “ _Heda_ is wise to ask this of you.”

I snorted, “Even though we are equals, she did not ask. But with my current hunt in a stalemate, this is perhaps a helpful distraction.”

“Why did you seek me out,” Lincoln questioned.

I glanced at him briefly before I focused on the image I was digging into the dirt, “Indra mentioned you when I spoke to her yesterday. Even though you thought I was dead, I knew you were not. Throughout the years, I have checked on you whenever I traveled near Tondc. You even treated me once. I was ten winters old and went by Harlee, not Lee.”

Lincoln looked at me in surprise, and out of my peripheral, I watched as he searched through his memories.

“You had a broken arm and sword strike to your leg,” Lincoln finally recalled.

I nodded, “The result of encountering bandits during a training exercise. Anyway, I knew that you continued to work on your art. Knowing that artists have a unique view of the world around them, I knew questioning you would reveal greater and better details about the Sky children. You proved me right.”

“You flatter me—”

“I only speak true, Linc,” I interrupted. “As Clan Chief and Commander of the Shadow Riders, I have seen many things, done my fair amount of assessments.” I gestured to the drawings on the walls, “Your skill as an artist is great. The attention to detail is meticulous. If you were to pursue art in Polis, you would be a rich man. That skill makes you an invaluable scout. One that I would gladly poach if I thought you would be satisfied living away from the forests of _Trikru_. But you live and breathe the lands around us and would wither if you were anywhere else.”

“I,” he began to say, then, “Thank you, Lee. We should head back before I am found missing. General Anya is not known to be kind if she thinks I am cheating my duties.”

I bark out a laugh, and stood up, “If she gives you a hard time, just mention that I was interrogating you. I’ve already spoken to another scout about seeking you out. She knows better than to cross swords with me.”

Lincoln chuckled as he stood up and kicked the fire out, “Still.”

“You worry too much, _bigabro_ (big brother),” I replied, clapping him on his shoulder as we walked out of the cave. “But you are right. We should be heading back. I need to make sure that my own scout is staying out of trouble.”

Lincoln laughed, and we headed up and into the trees. Leaving behind a rune meant for protection dug into the dirt. We reached the outskirts of the camp before long. We parted ways, and I went in search of Avil.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's my chapter for the day. Enjoy. And I do appreciate comments and questions.
> 
> Thx

I found Avil towards the back of their camp. I whistled to let him know I was near before joining him on a neighboring branch. I looked out over the camp and shook my head in disdain. Some were poorly cleaning small game and sorting nuts and berries. Others were still working on solidifying the wall, though most of their efforts seemed to be around the rickety gates they had built. The back end of the camp did have a wall, but with many holes that anyone or anything could enter. But, the majority of the people in the camp, well, they seemed more intent on lazing about and fucking. And based on the sounds, the fucking only lasted minutes. It made me wonder if these people truly knew what pleasure was because they sure as hell didn’t find it during sex.

Avil nudged me out of my thoughts, and I looked at him in question. He smirked and pointed to a lone young woman. I watched her and noted that she did appear to share some physical characteristics with me. As I continued to watch, the girl seemed to be a bit of a loner. She hung around behind their metal and hid among the debris built up along the back wall.

“She is the only one I have seen that bears even a small likeness to you, _Wocha_ ,” Avil whispered as we watched her. “She has spent most of the day by herself along this back wall. The few times she’s interacted with the others, she appears to be hostile. Rebuffing the boys and arguing with the girls.”

“Then she is most likely my way in,” I reply, frowning. “What else have you noted?”

“Come with me,” Avil said and pointed to the front of their camp.

I followed him until we came to a tree that gave us a good view of the opening to the metal object and where most of the camp seemed to congregate.

He pointed to a blonde girl that I recognized from Lincoln’s descriptions. The blonde was the _fisa_ and one of the leaders.

“The blonde seems to have some sway over the camp,” Avil told me. “But she never travels far from the metal object.”

“Lincoln told me that the girl is called _Klark_ ,” I replied. “She is their _fisa_. The object is called a dropship. Lincoln also described another. A young man, tall with dark hair and eyes. He’s usually seen with a girl hanging on him or telling people what to do. Have you seen him?”

“ _Sha_ ,” Avil said and pointed me toward the man. “He tells others what to do and is overprotective of a petite brunette that bears a resemblance to him. His sibling, perhaps? The girl appears to like defying him.”

I snorted, “Lincoln said their names were _Belomi en Okteivia_. And yes, they are siblings. According to him, the only ones present. Anything else?”

Avil nodded, “The blonde, _Klark_ , has two that hover near her at all times. A boy with floppy hair that he likes to flip. Just from the short interaction I saw, it appears that he is attempting to court her.”

I rolled my eyes at that, “And the other.”

“Is another boy, but dark like _Wocha_ Indra,” he informed me. “The blonde does not seem fond of him. He looks at her like a lovesick fool so, perhaps a spurned lover.”

“Perhaps,” I muttered as I watched the camp. “Go and keep an eye on the girl. Make sure that it is only her that stays in the back of the camp.”

“ _Sha, Wocha_ ,” Avil bobbed his head and quietly moved through the trees.

I settled more comfortably on the branch, fully prepared to watch and listen to these _Skai goufas_ attempt to survive the day. Avil appeared again when the sun began to set beyond the trees, bringing some food with him. I thanked him and ate while continuing to watch. Afterward, I sent him back to our camp to change places with Thor, informing him that I was going to stay through the night. Avil made me promise not to do anything until Thor arrived. I agreed and then promptly shoved him out of the tree.

Lincoln showed up not long after Avil left, insisting on keeping me company. I knew he had questions, but sitting outside a potential enemy camp was not an appropriate setting. Instead, we settled in silence as we watched the children slowly quiet down for the night. When Thor appeared, I sent Lincoln away for the night and then promptly made a circuit around the camp. Thor followed silently behind me. We startled several scouts who made us snicker and roll our eyes.

Through the night, on occasion, a scream or yell would rip through camp. Not enough to wake everyone, but it was startling to hear. It reminded me of times we had been on campaigns, especially the more brutal ones. Ones where we had seen much bloodshed and death. When in the dark of night, dreams became nightmares. It made me wonder what these children could have witnessed that could have affected them so. Or were their dreams a result of being in an unknown and dangerous environment.

It made me curious about these people. These Sky Fallen.

In the early morning, hours before dawn would arrive, I decided to test their defenses. I went through one of the many holes in the back of the camp. Thor, my ever-present shadow following silently behind me. The girl I would most likely replace was found hidden from most of the camp by a clever arrangement of debris. She was dead to the world, and not much seemed to disturb her. I made a note of how I could use this corner of the back wall for myself and made sure that Thor was aware of the potential as well. 

We continued to make our way through their camp, silent and unobserved. Simply shadows moving among darker shadows. When I peeked into some of the tents, I saw that they were mostly used to pass out after sex. However, there were a few that held huddled piles of children. I found the one called _Belomi_ in one, sleeping between the naked forms of two girls.

Though there were tents, I saw many of the children sleeping out in the open, exposed to the elements. Some near the ashes of their fires. Others underneath trees, nestled between the roots and curled up for warmth. Strangely, I hadn’t seen the blonde or her two hoverers anywhere outside so, I took a chance and stealthily made my way into their dropship.

Without light, the interior of the dropship was as dark as some caves and abandoned bunkers I’d been in. It was hard to make anything out except for darker lumps or hard lines. I stayed by the entrance but didn’t see the pale glow of blonde hair. This made me think that she was most likely on one of the other levels.

Not seeing anything of interest, I left with a sigh and began to make my way out of the camp. Back the way I had come in. As we were passing some trees, whimpering reached my ears. I stopped and peered into the shadows of the trees. There between a couple of large roots, a pale form writhed in fitful slumber. I watched as the writhing grew more frantic, and the whimpers louder until the figure shot up in a panic.

The night revealed the pale face of a young girl. Younger than the others by a few years. The girl looked around wildly with a pinched and haunted face. After a couple of minutes, the girl seemed to calm, and she grabbed something between her hands. She starts mumbling something like a mantra. Whatever it was, seemed to help her, but it didn’t look like she was going back to sleep anytime soon. I started to look for another path to avoid the girl’s notice when I heard her tripping over the roots of the tree to stand up.

I looked back over, and there was something in her body language that set the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. I glanced at Thor and noticed the worried expression on his face. Whatever I’m feeling, he feels it too. I catch his eyes, and we hold a silent conversation. With a slow blink in agreement, we turn and focus back on the girl.

Now, the girl’s moving through the camp in search of something. We follow, and I see how her hand flexes around the object in her hand. In the dim light, I make out that it’s a rather crude knife. Even though these children are strangers and potential enemies, I don’t want to see them unnecessarily harmed or killed. I may have the reputation of a butcher and a cold-blooded killer, but that’s only a small fraction of who I really am.

There’s something in this girl’s demeanor that is setting off alarms in my head. I’m reminded of a massacre a few summers ago. A village had been raided because of a hard drought that year. The raiders had killed everyone and everything they came across, but somehow they missed a young child. My Riders and I had come across the massacre. Then while we trailed after the raiders came across this child. He had found a straggler and was mindlessly stabbing them long after they were already dead. The broken look in that child’s eyes as he sobbed and stabbed had troubled my dreams for weeks afterward. We had taken him home with us, allowing him a chance to heal, but he had and never would be the same again.

And this girl reminded me of young Gabe, and I just couldn’t let her cross the line that he had. So, without thought, I snuck up behind her and grabbed her around her mouth and arms, lifting her off the ground. She let out muffled screams, but it wasn’t loud enough to draw anyone’s attention. Thor came quickly to my side and stuck her with a sleeping dart. The girl struggled for a moment longer before falling limp in my arms. The knife dropped from her hand, and I shifted her around until I was carrying her more comfortably. Thor remained silent as we quickly made our way out of the camp.

When we were out of earshot of even the _Trikru_ scouts, Thor yanked on my arm to get me to stop.

“What the _jok_ are you doing,” Thor hissed at me.

I growled low in my throat in irritation because I had no idea what the hell had come over me.

“I don’t know,” I replied, looking at the girl with her face relaxed. “I…she reminded me of Gabe. I just…she can’t end up like him, Thor. She was going to do something and…there are just some things that…that you can never get back from. I just…”

Thor softened, his grip relaxed on my arm, and turned comforting, “I get it, boss. From what Av told me, these kids are a cross between innocent and broken. They’ve seen things, done things, but at the same time, they’re innocent of the world. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep one innocent for a little bit longer.”

I sighed and nodded, adjusting the girl in my arms, “Thank you, Thor.”

He nodded and studied the girl for a moment before asking, “So, what are we going to do with her? Our camp isn’t exactly the best place to hold a girl for however long we’re going to be here.”

I bit my lip in thought and then sighed, “We’ll take her back to Tondc. They have holding cells. I’ll question her, and we’ll go from there. Have Deke send a Rider to guard her while we take care of everything else.”

“You know Indra isn’t going to like having her there,” he said as we started walking back to the horses.

“She may not like it, but she won’t dare disobey my orders,” I replied. “Anya, on the other hand, would. The girl will be safe in Tondc. If worse comes about, I’ll send her to Fynx.”

“Oh, he’ll like that,” Thor said with a low chuckle. “At least she’s old enough to become someone’s _seken_.”

“ _Sha_ ,” I agreed. “But first we find out about her and the rest. Then, we’ll plan on what happens to her.”

He nodded, and not long after, we reached our horses. Thor mounted first before I handed him the girl. I observed him while he got the young girl situated in front of him before I mounted Hades. With a soft click of my tongue and squeeze of my thighs, we were headed back to Tondc.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your daily chapter, my friends. Tell me what you think. I love hearing from you all.
> 
> Enjoy.

We arrived at Tondc shortly after dawn. The girl was still asleep in Thor’s arms. With a few short words, the guards at the gate granted us access, and we rode directly to the cement building that served as holding cells. Dismounting quickly, I took the girl back in my arms and began ordering everyone about. The Tondc guards were quick to comply, and in less than ten minutes, I had the girl inside a cell and lying on a cot. A second cot was brought into the cell in anticipation of the girl I would be replacing soon. 

Once a chair, food, and drinks were brought in, I ordered the guards to leave us undisturbed until told otherwise. They nodded, then Thor and I were left alone in the cell with the sleeping girl.

I sighed, rolled my shoulders, and turned the chair until I propped my arms on the back, laying my head on them to stare blankly at the girl. I listened as Thor poured a drink and made a plate. Without a word, he held both in front of my face, and I begrudgingly took them with a nod. I ate slowly, and Thor sat beside me on the ground with his own plate and drink.

“So, what’s the game plan, boss,” Thor asked, glancing up at me before focusing on his food.

I drank a bit of juice to give myself time to think, but nothing was coming to me.

“I guess I’ll approach this like every other time I’ve had to question a child,” I sighed, frowning down at my plate. “And these _are_ children, Thor. Everything I witnessed yesterday tells me these people, these _Skaikru_ , are different.”

“Different like _Maunon_ different,” Thor questioned.

I scratched the back of my head as I tried to gather my thoughts, “Maybe. I won’t know until I’m among them.”

Thor nodded in acceptance of my answer, but before we could talk further, the girl on the cot began waking. We set our plates and drinks out of the way. Thor stood up to stand behind me as a guard. I remained seated, appearing relaxed with my arms hanging off the back of the chair. We stayed silent as the girl slowly woke, stretching.

The moment she registered that she wasn’t in her camp, she sat up and tucked herself against the wall and looked at us in fear.

Switching to _Gonasleng_ , I spoke quietly and calmly, “I know that based on what happened the first day you arrived, you will not believe me, but you are safe, child. You were not brought here to be killed. I brought you here to answer questions I have. I will not harm you if you do not answer, but I hope that you do anyway.”

She glanced between me, Thor, and the door to the cell several times before stuttering, “Who are you?”

I smiled slightly, “My name is Harlee. I am the leader of the Shadow Clan and Commanding Officer of the Shadow Riders. Normally, I would insist on being called by my titles, Chief, Commander, or _Trikova_ , but you may call me by my given name. The man behind me is my guard, and his name is Thor.”

The girl glanced at him in confusion, “You mean like the comic book hero?”

I chuckled, “In a way. He is named after the ancient Norse God of Thunder, not the comic book one. Can we have your name, child?”

“Charlotte,” the girl answered quietly.

I nodded, pleased, “Thank you for sharing that with us. Now, before we begin, would you like something to drink. Water? Juice? The poison you were injected with tends to leave you with a parched throat.”

“And you would know, wouldn’t you, boss,” Thor said with a chuckle.

“ _Shof op_ ,” I growled while rolling my eyes. 

Charlotte looked between the two of us confused, “Juice? What’s juice?”

I looked at her in confusion, but answered, “Juice is a liquid that comes out of fruits, vegetables, and meats when squeezed. In this case, the juice I am offering is orange. It has a bite to it when you first drink, but it is quite tasty.”

Thor poured a cup of it and handed it to me. Knowing that the child was probably trepidatious about anything we offered her, I took a sip to show that it was harmless before giving it back to Thor. He walked the cup over to Charlotte and held it out to her. She glanced between us and the cup a few times before taking it tentatively from him. Thor walked back to take his position behind me. We watched as she took a small sip, and I grinned, seeing the face she made. She tried it again, anticipating the flavor, but this time hummed.

“You’re right,” Charlotte said, “it is tasty.”

I nodded and smiled, “I am glad that you are enjoying it. Now, I want to start by saying that there are already things we know about you and your people. We have been watching you since the day after you arrived. I will be asking questions that verify what our scouts have heard and for clarification purposes. I will also be asking you some personal questions. This will help me decide what happens in the future. The more honest and open you are with me, the easier it will be for me to make the right decision. Do you understand so far, _Sharlot_?”

“You’re asking me to tell you about my people and myself, right,” Charlotte said, looking at me with a touch of fear in her face.

I nodded, “That is correct. What I will not do is hurt you in any way to gain the answers I seek. And I promise you that as long as you are honest with me, I will be honest with you. Is that reasonable?”

Charlotte nodded, “Yes.”

“Good, and thank you,” I said, and sat up in the chair straighter. “First, I will tell you a little about where you landed. You landed in the northeastern part of the territory owned by the _Trikru_. That is Tree People in _Gonasleng_. English, I think, is the Old World word for it. It is one of twelve clans that make up the Coalition. The Coalition is run by twelve ambassadors ruled over by _Heda_ , or Commander. There are in total fourteen clans. The two that are not part of the Coalition are my own, the Shadow Clan, and the _Maun-de_ , or Mount Weather. But my clan has an alliance with the Commander while the _Maun-de_ is an enemy to all clans. There are also nomads and banished who live in the desert north of _Trikru_ , known as the Dead Zone. West of the Coalition lands is what we call the Wastelands. Nothing and no one lives out that way. Are you with me so far, _Sharlot_?”

“I, yes,” Charlotte replied, looking shocked. “We were taught that no one survived the nuclear attacks. We didn’t know people were on the ground.”

I nodded, “We figured, but it is rather shortsighted to believe that no one could have made it to the _numerous_ bunkers that were built since the mid-20th Century.”

“I guess it is,” Charlotte agreed.

“And can I assume by your previous statement that your people did not know that _Maun-de_ also had people living there,” I questioned, observing her.

Charlotte nodded, “Yeah like I said, we didn’t know people were on the ground. We were told by the Chancellor to go to Mount Weather. That it would have enough supplies for several hundred people for months.”

I saw the angry scowl on Charlotte’s face when she mentioned the Chancellor and wondered why but refrained from asking for the moment.

“This Chancellor is your leader,” I asked instead.

Charlotte nodded, her scowl deepening, “Yes. He and the Council lead us.”

“You do not like your leaders,” I observed out loud.

She shook her head, vehemently, “No. They floated my parents.”

“Floated,” I pushed, not understanding the phrase.

“It’s what we call it when they execute criminals,” Charlotte explained, looking down at the cup she was clenching tightly in her hands. “They put the criminals in an airlock and open it. They get sucked out into space and float because there’s no gravity or air.”

“I understand,” I replied. Deciding to change the topic, I asked, “ _Sharlot_ , why were you sent down?”

Charlotte sighed and took a sip of her juice, “Our home, the Ark, is dying. Clarke said that it’s running out of air, and they only have a few months left. We’re supposed to find out if the ground is survivable even though it was assumed that it wouldn’t be for another hundred years.”

“How are you supposed to tell those in the Ark that you can survive on the ground,” I asked.

Charlotte frowned, “I’m not sure. They gave us these wristbands that are supposed to send our vitals. Heartbeat and things like that. Clarke could probably explain it better.”

“And who is Clarke,” I questioned.

“She’s one of the privileged,” Charlotte explained. “Her mom’s a doctor and on the Council. Clarke was learning how to be a doctor before she was locked up.”

“Are you all criminals,” I asked, tilting my head in curiosity.

Charlotte nodded, “According to the Ark laws, we are.”

“I see,” I thoughtfully replied. “Could you give me some examples?”

“Um,” she frowned in thought, “stealing extra rations, medicine, fighting, murder. One guy, Finn, was locked up because he wasted three months of air doing an illegal spacewalk. That’s where you wear this protective suit with oxygen and go outside the Ark. These two guys, Jasper and Monty, were caught making illegal drugs.”

“Drugs,” I asked, unfamiliar with the word.

“Um, I think it was a plant that could get you high. Um, mess with your mind,” Charlotte answered, looking unsure of her answer.

I thought about it, but it was Thor that answered, “Like Jobi nuts, Chief.”

“Ah,” I nodded in understanding, knowing the hallucinogenic properties of the nuts. “And you, _Sharlot_. What was your crime?”

The angry scowl reappeared on her face, but she answered quickly enough, “The guards claimed I assaulted them. But I just shoved one of them. It wasn’t even that hard. I just wanted to keep something that belonged to my mom.”

“I understand,” I said, my hand unconsciously moving to the wolf pendant underneath my armor. “Was this shortly after your parents were executed?”

Charlotte nodded, biting her lip to keep the tears I could see in her eyes from falling.

“I see,” I hummed. “ _Sharlot_ , could you tell me a little bit about your people? What was it like living in the sky?”

“It was hard,” Charlotte replied, after taking a few calming breaths. “Everything is strictly regulated from the water to the food to the air. Oh, and each couple could only have one kid. If they had a second one, the mom would get floated, and the kid locked up. The kind of jobs we had decided how big our living quarters would be. So, if you were a janitor, um, cleaned things, your living quarters would have been much smaller than this room. But if you were on the Council or had an important job like a doctor, it would be much bigger. The laws were strict. If you broke one, there was no chance for mercy. Anyone over the age of eighteen would be floated. If you were younger, you’d be locked up until you were eighteen. Then the Council would review your case, and maybe you’d be released.”

I frowned at her words. Their home sounded crueler than what _Azgeda_ was. Our world may be harsh, but there was always room for compassion and mercy. And the thought of punishing a family for having more than one child…that was beyond cruel. Even punishing the child for merely existing. It made me wonder what they would have done with me. Someone born so vastly different from others.

“ _Sharlot_ , before you were locked up, what was your day usually like,” I asked. “What did you do?”

“Oh, I went to school,” Charlotte answered with a rueful smile. “But it was so boring.”

I chuckled, “And what did you learn in school?”

“The usual,” she piped up. “The basics, like reading and math. But we also learned history, science, government, literature. Things like that.”

“So, you had no skills training,” I questioned, looking at her curiously.

Charlotte shook her head, “No. We didn’t get to learn that until we turned eighteen. And if you were locked up, you didn’t learn anything.”

I frowned at her words. How could leaders send untrained, unskilled _children_ down to a ground that they didn’t know would be hospitable? How had they expected these children to survive?

“ _Sharlot_ ,” I asked carefully, still frowning, “did your leaders do anything to prepare you for coming down here?”

“Well, sorta,” Charlotte replied, frowning herself. “We had to sit through two weeks of Earth Skills, but they didn’t tell us why. So, we didn’t pay attention. Now, I kinda wish I had.”

I shared a look with Thor before I asked her, “When you say Earth Skills, what do you mean?”

Charlotte looked up to the ceiling as she tried to recall the class, “Well, things like how to start a fire, identify plants, how to find water. Mr. Pike, our teacher, talked about how the Earth would have changed because of the radiation. You know, how plants and animals may have changed. I heard Octavia talk about a two-headed deer she saw on her first day. Oh, and glowing butterflies. But we couldn’t practice what he taught us, you know, because we lived in a big metal station and the closest we had to a forest was Farm Station. And that was only a few plants we could grow.”

“ _They sent them down with no skills, Wocha_ ,” Thor whispered to me. “ _I do not think they were meant to survive_.”

I minutely nodded, “ _Sharlot_ , why didn’t your leaders send down people, like your _ticha_ , who would have an easier time surviving? People who would have had the skills needed.”

The angry scowl came back with a vengeance as Charlotte practically growled, “The Chancellor called us _expendable_. In some stupid video we had to watch as we came down. He said that if the chances of surviving were better, they would have. Since they weren’t, we were the answer.”

Deciding to get a little personal, I asked, “ _Sharlot_ , how old are you?”

Charlotte looked at me, clearly surprised by my question, “Thirteen.”

If she had been born on the ground, she would already be a _seken_. Charlotte would already have the skills necessary to live mostly unaided if left in the forest alone. Know how to defend herself. She would have been prepared. Sadly, she was not.

“Tonight, your dreams woke you,” I began carefully to question. “Why?”

Charlotte swallowed a few times, looking down at the cup as if it held all the answers in the world. For a solid minute, she remained silent, but then she answered, her voice quiet, “I dream of my parents. Every night. I dream of them being floated. Watching the Chancellor push the button that opens the airlock. I’m screaming and crying. Trying to move, but I’m stuck. Sometimes the Chancellor and the guards laugh because I can’t save them. Sometimes I’m the one pushing the button.”

“A child should never witness the death of their parents,” I replied quietly. “And to force a child to watch as their parents are executed is inhumane and cruel. There is no reason for it. No good reason, anyway. Has anyone helped you work through this?”

Charlotte dejectedly sighed, “Clarke and Bellamy have tried. Clarke said that this is our second chance and that we can move past the pain of what happened on the Ark. Then she just held me until I fell asleep again. Bellamy…he told me that if I’m afraid to say, ‘screw you. I’m not afraid.’ And that I should slay my demons when I’m awake so that they can’t get me when I’m asleep. That fear is weakness.”

I frowned in thought as I went over her words. Though their advice wasn’t bad, it wasn’t helpful without a solid follow through.

“What were you planning on doing tonight,” I warily asked. “You were headed somewhere before I grabbed you.”

Charlotte dropped my gaze and huddled in on herself, shaking her head in refusal.

“Why do you not want to answer me, _Sharlot_ ,” I pressed. “Were you going to do something that you think I will not approve of?”

Her continued silence gave me the answer I was looking for, and it made me sigh. I was right to think she reminded me of Gabe.

“Taking the life of someone is not easy, _Sharlot_ ,” I told her, and her eyes snapped up to look at me in shock. “It should never be easy. It changes you. Taints your soul. To look someone in the eye as the life fades from them is…something else. And it remains with you. If there is an ounce of compassion within you, that life you took will haunt your dreams. Especially those that were innocent. The ones that did nothing to you. The ones who did not deserve to die by your hand. What is worse is that their death affects others. Friends. Family. It can create a cycle that never ends. Leaving the world bathed in blood. Killing someone takes an innocence that can never be regained, _Sharlot_. What is worse is that it doesn’t take away the pain. It adds to it.”

“How do you make the pain stop,” Charlotte asked quietly.

I let out a gusty sigh, “The pain doesn’t stop, _Sharlot_. You just learn to live with it. Each day gets a little bit easier, but there are days where it can cripple you. It is a process that ebbs and flows like the tide. You can go years without the pain only to be reminded of it again. What makes it easier is to have people around that can support you when it happens. Some find it helpful to talk about it. Others use it as a catalyst to make changes so that it never happens again. Each person is different.”

There was a knock on the cell door, and Thor went over to speak with the guards outside the cell. I sighed, knowing that my time for chatting with Charlotte was up. Indra most likely had gotten impatient and wanted to know why the girl was here.

Thor came back and confirmed my suspicions. I sighed and rubbed my face tiredly.

“It appears that I am needed elsewhere, _Sharlot_ ,” I told the girl, standing up. “Thank you for answering my questions and being honest with me.”

“Wait,” Charlotte interjected, standing up as well. “What happens now? What happens to me?”

“Now, I decide what to do with you, _Sharlot_ ,” I tell her honestly. “But like I said at the beginning of this conversation. No harm will come to you, and you will not be killed. For now, you will remain here. Thor will remain to ensure that no harm comes to you in my absence.”

“ _Wocha_ ,” Thor spoke, looking worried.

I smiled a bit, “ _Do not worry. No one would dare try anything. I will be safe. I will be back before I get your brother_.”

He lowered his head, “ _Sha, Wocha_.”

“If you are hungry, _Sharlot_ ,” I said, drawing her attention and then pointed at the food. “There is food. If you need anything, ask Thor. He will do what he can.”

Charlotte nodded and I left the cell with a curt nod. I was met outside with a pair of guards telling me my presence was requested in Indra’s War Room.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daily dose. Enjoy.

Right before I walked into the War Room, I sent a guard to get me writing supplies and wax. When I was sure that I would be obeyed, I walked inside. Letting my eyes adjust to the dim interior after being outside in the morning sun, I saw that not only was Indra waiting for me but so was Anya.

“Indra, Anya,” I greeted them and walked to a sideboard where I knew something more substantial than juice waited.

I poured myself a drink before turning to face them, “So, why am I here?”

“The _Skaigada_ that is now in my cells, _Trikova_ ,” Indra spoke. “Why is she here?”

I took a sip and shrugged, “I saw an opportunity to gather more information, and I decided to take it.”

“Is she still alive,” Anya drawled.

I scoffed at her, “Of course, she is. I do not kill or torture children. No matter what the rumors say.”

“Were you able to learn anything new,” Indra asked.

I frowned into my cup, “Some. She verified what the scouts have overheard. Their home in the sky is dying. Running out of air. They are all criminals. Their people believe that the ground is still uninhabitable and that somehow, they are the last of humanity.”

Both older women scoffed, and I snorted in agreement.

“I know,” I replied as a guard entered with the writing implements. I took them with a nod and walked to the table to begin writing out messages. “Their leaders’ arrogance appears level with Titus’. Their laws are strictly enforced and punishable by death. But only those who are over eighteen are sentenced to death. Young lawbreakers are imprisoned until they are eighteen.”

“Did you learn anything about their attempt to go to the _Maun-de_ ,” Anya asked.

I nodded, not looking up, “The Sky Children were told to go there. Their leaders believed it to have supplies to last moons. That would make sense if they were indeed the last, and our ancestors had all perished. But to answer your unasked question, no, I do not believe that they were going there to align with the _Maunon_. They were simply doing as they were told.”

“But their mannerisms,” Anya began with a frown.

“Are a result of keeping the Old World alive,” I told her. “Their only adaptation, from what I gathered, is stricter laws to counteract limited resources and space. Otherwise, they live exactly as our ancestors did before _Praimfaya_. Useless lessons beyond basics until they are eighteen. After that, they are trained in a job. What they do as an adult determines how hard their life is. The more important jobs are given more while, the less are given less.”

“Are their people coming down,” Indra asked.

I frowned and looked up at her, “That is something the girl could not tell me. They have these bands on their wrists. It is a _tek_ that sends heartbeats and other information to the Ark. As far as the girl knows, that is the only way they are currently communicating. She did mention that a blonde girl by the name of _Klark_ would know more. I believe Lincoln pointed her out as one of the camp leaders.”

“That reminds me,” Anya interjected. “Why did you specifically search him out? Any of the other scouts could have relayed you the same information.”

I rolled my eyes at her accusatory tone, “Lincoln is an exceptional scout. He pays incredible attention to the smallest details. I knew that he would give me better insight than the others.”

“You can’t have him,” Anya retorted.

I laughed, “Calm your tits, woman. Lincoln lives and breathes _Trikru_. I would never take him from his home. And being a Rider would destroy him. He is too much of a gentle soul.”

“You care about him,” Indra said, looking at me in wonder.

I sighed, not ready to divulge my relation to him, “I know how to read people, Indra. I’ve come across him in the past, so I know what kind of man he is. Even though my Riders would benefit from having a scout of his caliber, he would not benefit from being a Rider.”

Indra nodded, accepting my answer, but I knew that she knew there was more to it. I ignored them and continued to write.

“What are you going to do with the girl,” Anya asked.

“She will stay here for now,” I answered. “I am sending a message to my Second to send a small rotation of men to watch over her. I am also sending for a _mensfisa_ (mind healer) from my clan. The girl was forced to watch her leader execute her parents and then arrested for shoving a guard. She deserves a chance to heal, and I do not think she can do that among her people.”

“You are showing your soft side, _Trikova_ ,” Anya teased.

I rolled my eyes at her, “Even in my line of work; there is still room for compassion and mercy, Anya. Oh, Indra, the girl will be joined by another one. Probably tonight or in the morning. That one will remain chained in the cell. I’ll be sure to compensate you for the extra mouths.”

“Very well, _Trikova_ ,” Indra replied.

“Great,” I said, sealing the letters with wax and my sigil. “Then if you will excuse me, I have preparations to make.”

They both nodded, and I got up to deliver the messages to a rider. I wasn’t surprised that Anya followed me out. Luckily, she refrained from speaking until after I had sent a rider to Polis.

“Why did you really take an interest in the girl, Lee,” Anya asked. “It is not like you to take someone who knows so little.”

I sighed as I glanced at her, “She reminds me of someone I was too late to help. This girl, _Sharlot_ , is an innocent regardless of what her leaders call her. She was going to do something that would have done more harm than good.” I stopped and looked at her seriously, “Anya, our people have been trained from infancy to protect ourselves and others by any means necessary. We prepare them to live with taking a life even if they choose not to be a warrior. These Sky Children aren’t. They may know Death, but not like we do.”

Anya nodded in understanding, “What happens if you deem these children threats, Lee? Would you really condemn this child to be the last of her people?”

I started walking again, shrugging in answer, “Then I do what I have always done, Ahn. I remove the threat and go back to skulking around the Mountain. The girl has already lost her parents, and she does not seem attached to anyone at their camp. Does she even have people anymore?”

We had come to the holding cells, and Hades was still tied outside. Anya held out a hand to him, and he wuffled it in greeting. I took the reins, but she stopped me from mounting.

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Lee,” Anya told me seriously.

I grinned at her, “Be careful, Anya. Your soft side is showing.”

“ _Shof op_ , Lee,” Anya replied, annoyed.

I mounted Hades and looked down at her, “We all have our parts to play, Anya. You do yours, and I’ll do mine.”

“You know, you make it very difficult not to _want_ to kill you,” Anya said with a roll of her eyes.

I shrugged, grinning still, “What can I say? I like to be difficult. I’ll be seeing you, General.”

“I’ll make sure you don’t,” she replied.

I laughed and turned Hades to head to our campsite. With a salute, I was off.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy your daily dose. Remember comments are always appreciated.

Later that night, Avil and I were making our way to the back of the _Skaikru_ camp. Once more, we entered with no problem and found the girl quickly. Asleep and hidden among debris. Knowing we had a few hours before she would wake, we converted her hidden section into a more habitable space.

Walls went up, stolen cloth was cut and formed into a roof, and a hidden entrance was created. We quietly wondered how the _Skai goufas_ hadn’t noticed the sound of construction, but they remained as oblivious as ever. Long before the night was over, we were done and headed to Tondc to drop off our second prisoner.

It was no surprise that the sound of the cell door jerked Charlotte awake. While Avil secured the girl, I went over to Charlotte.

“ _Moba, Sharlot_ ,” I quietly apologized. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“S’okay,” Charlotte replied drowsily. “I was starting to dream again.”

Even though it was too dark for her to see, I nodded. I sat on the cot after she had scooted into sitting against the wall.

“I am sorry anyway,” I said. “But it is good that you are awake. I have brought another of your people here. She is on the other side of the room. I am not sure what her name is, but I know that she spends most of her days at the back of your camp. I do not know what her crimes were. So, she is being considered a prisoner. That means that shackles have been placed on her.”

“Wait. Aren’t I a prisoner too,” Charlotte asked.

“Yes, and no,” I told her. “In the eyes of _Trikru_ , you are a prisoner. This keeps you safe from those that may want to hurt you.”

“Why would they want to hurt me,” Charlotte asked a little worriedly.

“Because you are like the _Maunon, Sharlot_ ,” I answered. “Um, the Mountain Men. You dress and speak like them. Use _tek_ like them. The Mountain Men have been our enemy for over a century. Taking, killing, and turning our people into _Ripas_. Reapers. Monsters. So, our people fear yours and believe we should just kill you.”

“That’s horrible,” Charlotte replied.

“It is,” I said with a nod. “That is why you are staying here while I take care of my duties. More of my men will be coming, and they will take over guarding you and this girl. I also sent for a special healer. One that helps people heal from trauma such as yours.”

“Why are you so nice to me,” Charlotte asked, peering at me in the dark.

“Because everyone deserves a second chance, _Sharlot_ ,” I quietly replied. “A long time ago, someone saved me. Gave me a chance, and now I am a clan leader and lead an army. That is not to say that you will follow in my footsteps, but I want to give you a chance to find your own path. If you want, when this is all over, you can come and live among my people. Make a home and have a life of your choosing. But that is only if you want.”

“What about my people,” Charlotte asked.

I shrugged, “That depends on many things. It is my job to determine if your people are a threat to mine. Because of where your people have landed, it is not up to me to make the final decision. That lies with the Commander of the Coalition. I promise you, though, that I will make an honest assessment, and the Commander is fair. Ruthless, but fair. But no matter what your people want, she has to make the best decision for all her people. Do you understand?”

“I think so,” she replied.

“ _Os_ ,” I said. “Now, I want to let you know that you won’t be seeing me anymore. Not until this is over but, you’ve met the twins, and they’ll introduce you to your other guards when they get here. If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask them. If it is within their power, they will get it for you. Okay?”

“Okay,” she replied, but I could hear the sadness in her voice.

“Don’t worry, _strikon_ ,” I said, and tentatively laid a hand on her leg. “We will see each other again. This isn’t goodbye.”

“Can…can you stay awhile,” Charlotte tentatively asked.

I smiled and nodded, “I can. Why don’t you try and get some more sleep? I will stay until you do.”

“O-okay,” she replied and laid back down.

I got up and re-tucked the furs around her. Sitting back down, I took her hand in my own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Charlotte gripped onto it tightly. Quietly, Avil went and stood outside, taking a guard position. I sat there until Charlotte’s grip relaxed and then stayed there for a bit longer. When I was sure that she wouldn’t wake, I got up and left. Exchanging last words with Avil, I headed out and back to camp.

I was able to get a few hours of sleep before I needed to be up once more. This time when I woke, I didn’t dress in my armor. Instead, I pulled clothing out of my bags that had survived _Praimfaya_. Clothing that had been found in bunkers surrounding the capital city of my clan, Norfolk, and looked like the _Maunon_ could wear it, which meant that it would pass unnoticed to infiltrate the _Skaikru_ camp.

Once dressed, I immediately missed my leathers. They were far more comfortable and softer. I sighed and began to undo the braids that usually adorned my head. Taking the small beads and feathers out and placing them in a special pouch. When I was done, I quickly braided my hair into a simple single braid down my back and tied it off with a piece of twine. Out of all my weapons, I only allowed myself two knives. Knives that had also been found in bunkers. I slid one in a sheathe at the small of my back, and the other in my boot.

When I stepped out of my tent, Thor was sitting by the fire, preparing breakfast. He glanced at me and then did a second take. His eyes widened in surprise.

“Ya look like _Maunon_ , boss,” he said, his eyes still roaming over me.

I crouched by him and poured myself a cup of coffee, “Good. The less I look like myself, the better.”

He nodded, “Are you going to go through the back?”

I shook my head, taking a sip of coffee, “No. I want an excuse to meet with the blonde _fisa_. I figure a rough hunt should do the trick.”

“Not to mention, it’ll endear you to the people if you bring them something bigger ‘en squirrels,” he replied with a chuckle.

I nodded, “That too. Getting close to their leaders is key. That way, I learn what they do.”

He gave me a sly grin, “Ya plan on seducing the blonde, boss?”

I snorted a laugh, “I don’t know if I’ll have time to do that, but that is an option. With this kind of work, you can’t have set plans. General ideas, but nothing concrete. This whole thing requires that my plans remain fluid.”

He finished breakfast and made me a plate, “Did you have any trouble getting the girl to Tondc?”

I shook my head, “No. She was curled up behind the debris pile she’s always at. Didn’t make a sound, and Avil and I were able to make it a living space for me. Complete with a hidden entrance. We did get a laugh at how oblivious they were to the sounds. No one came to investigate.”

Thor shook his head in disbelief, “These children won’t last the winter, boss. Not if they continue as they have been.”

I sighed, “I know. Their leaders woefully underprepared them for survival. Almost as if they did not expect them to survive.”

“You sound sorry for them,” Avil replied with a look.

“Maybe I am,” I said, and shook my head to clear my thoughts. “Regardless of how I feel about them or their leaders, I can’t allow it to dictate what I’m doing here. _Heda_ wants an assessment on these _veidas_ (invaders), and I plan on giving that to her.”

“Then I guess we should get to it, yeah,” Thor said and proceeded to finish his meal.

“Yeah, I’ve put it off long enough,” I said with a grim look. “Now, I just have to figure out how to become a bad hunter.”

Thor laughed, “That’ll be next to impossible.”

“Tell me about it,” I replied with an eye roll. “But I always did love a challenge.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daily dose, my peeps. Plus, dun, dun, dun...a change in POV. Enjoy and as always, comments are more than welcome. 
> 
> Thx for reading.

Finding suitable prey was easy. Getting it to do what I wanted, that was something else. The damn _natripa_ (panther) I was after refused to fight me. Like it knew with absolute certainty that I was the better hunter. But eventually, I pissed it off enough to come after me. After that, I had to fight every instinct to let it hurt me. And for some reason, I got excited when I got it to chase me. Chased me right to a ravine where I stupidly decided to make my last stand.

And there I laid. At the bottom of the ravine, bleeding, bruised, and dazed with a dislocated shoulder. But hey, the panther was dead. So, mission accomplished.

The sound of rocks tumbling down the ravine drew my attention, and I watched as Thor scrambled down quickly. I slowly used my good arm to push myself up. My body protesting every movement, and my head swam with dizziness. 

“Fuck,” I drawled out, wanting to lay back down immediately.

“Boss, you okay,” Thor asked when he got to me.

“No,” I replied. “I fucking hurt. Why the fuck did I think this was a good idea? This was a stupid idea. Like worse than that time, I thought eating two pounds of Tom’s taffy stash was a good idea. Or the time I decided I was skilled enough to ride an unbroken stallion. Yeah, this ranks up in my top ten of stupid ideas.”

Thor laughed, “Yeah, you’re okay. Here, let me help you up.”

With a lot of moaning, groaning, and swearing on my part, I was soon on my feet. I leaned against Thor and looked at the top of the ridge.

“Fuck,” I said. “This is going to hurt.”

Thor laughed again, “Do you want me to carry you up there?”

I scowled because I was very tempted, “No. I got myself down here; I can get my stupid self back up there.”

“Did you want me to pop your shoulder back in place,” he asked, his voice vibrating through my back.

“As much as I want you to, no,” I replied with a grimace. “It’ll give authenticity to my persona. But, you’re going to have to carry that damn cat until we near the camp. I’ll be damned if I drag that thing all the way.”

“Sure, boss,” Thor said. “I’m going to let you go now so, I can start carrying the _natripa_ out of the ravine.”

I let out a small whine but purposely moved away from him. With each painful step, I became more reluctant to climb out without help. But, I forced myself to. It was a slow and excruciating process, but I eventually made it to the top after what felt like hours later. Then I promptly passed out.

When I woke, Thor had built a travois that even I could drag with one arm. After drinking some water, we slowly made our way to the camp. There were a lot of breaks to rest, and by the time we neared the _Skaikru_ camp, the sun was beginning to dip below the trees. We stopped one last time to rest. I relayed last minute orders and sent Thor into the trees.

With a groan, I slipped the rope crosswise over my good shoulder and pulled the travois closer to the _Skaikru_ camp. I knew I was close when I could hear shouts from behind the gate.

Still trudging my way to the gate, I hollered out, “Can someone give me a hand?! This bitch is heavy!”

**CLARKE POV**

Excited shouts caught my attention from inside the dropship. Exchanging a curious look with Monty, I got up from where I was rolling torn up shirts and headed outside. I had hope that the shouts were because the little girl, Charlotte, had shown up. I had argued with Bellamy to search for her when I couldn’t find her. But he had adamantly refused, and I couldn’t get anyone to go with me.

My heart sank when I saw that it wasn’t Charlotte. Instead, it was some girl that was being held up by Wells. Frowning, I strode forward, and the closer I got, the deeper my frown grew. The girl was injured. Dirt and something black, streaked across her clothes and exposed skin.

“What happened,” I demanded when I was close.

“Panther,” the girl breathlessly replied. “I surprised it. We fought. I won only for us to fall down a ravine.”

The instant I heard the girl’s voice, a pleasurable shiver ran down my spine. It nearly made me falter in my steps, but I powered through to focus on her injuries.

I looked around and saw Finn hovering nearby, “Finn! I need warm water. Bring it to the dropship.”

The boy looked like he wanted to protest but wisely said nothing. Instead, he nodded and headed off to fill my request. I helped Wells guide the girl into the dropship. We sat her down on a protrusion that was high enough to be a table. The girl sighed in relief only to moan in pain.

“Where are you hurt,” I questioned, taking the girl’s head in my hands to begin examining her.

“Everywhere,” she cheekily replied, and I glared at her. “The fall dislocated my shoulder. It hurts to breathe, and I got this pounding headache. Then there’s where the cat got me. Back, chest, arms.”

I nodded, let go of her head, and said to Wells, “Help me get her jacket and shirt off. Then I’ll need you to help me push her shoulder back in place.”

“No problem,” Wells replied and looked at the girl. “Are you okay with me helping?”

The girl slightly nodded, “S’fine. I’d help, but now that I’m not moving, all I want to do is pass out.”

“Well, don’t do that yet,” I told her. “If you hit your head, you might have a concussion. Falling asleep will be bad right now. Did you lose consciousness at all?”

“Not until I climbed outta the ravine,” the girl told me. “I think I passed out for maybe an hour or so.”

“But not during or right after the fall,” I asked as we got the jacket off her.

“Don’t think so,” she replied.

Steps sounded, and I glanced to see Finn coming in with a bowl of water and Octavia bringing a container.

“Thanks, guys,” I told them. “Just put them over there for now.”

I turned back to the girl and said, “This might tickle.”

The girl looked at me, confusion written on her face. That was until I gently started lifting her shirt and glided my hands along her torso to lift it up. Realization dawned as goosebumps formed across her skin. As gently as I could, I got her head and good arm out of the shirt, but it still caused her some pain. I only knew that it was painful because her breath hitched or hissed when the shirt pulled away from her wounds. Otherwise, the girl had fallen silent. 

The moment her shirt was off, it was as if the very air itself gasped. Her torso and arms were riddled with thin white lines, puckered burn scars, and longer, deeper scars. I was speechless, and so was everyone else.

“My parents weren’t very nice people,” the girl quietly spoke into the silence.

I blinked and looked into deep brown eyes that held the pain she was in. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat from her words. I then took a deep and slow breath, forcing myself to focus on the present situation.

“I’m going to check your shoulder to make sure that it’s a simple dislocation,” I told her.

She nodded, and I moved to examine the shoulder in question better. I probed it as gently as I could before determining there wasn’t anything broken or torn.

I looked at Wells and said, “Wells, go to her other side and hold her in place.”

Wells nodded and moved into position.

“This is going to hurt,” I told the girl, who only nodded.

I grabbed her arm, lifted it, and planted my foot against her side. Wells pressed from the other side. The girl closed her eyes as I lifted her arm higher and pushed at the same time. With a sickening pop, her shoulder was back in place. The only sound the girl made was a soft grunt.

It was eerie how silent the girl was every time I caused her pain. It only brought home how much she must have endured.

“Okay, guys,” I said, looking at everyone. “Octavia, and I can take it from here.”

“Are you sure,” Finn asked, his face a mask of concern.

I nodded, “Yeah. We got this. Right, Octavia?”

“Yeah,” Octavia replied, grabbing the bowl of water and container. “Give the girl some privacy.”

“Come on,” Wells said, grabbing Finn by the arm. “It’s rude to stare.”

Finn only nodded, giving me one last look, before letting Wells drag him outside. I grabbed a couple of rags, handing one to Octavia. Without a word, we began cleaning the girl up. Removing dirt and whatever the black stuff was. Though, I figured it out when I accidentally removed a scab that had formed over one of the scratches.

“Black blood,” I breathed out. “How?”

“It’s not an infection,” the girl spoke up again, surprising both of us. “It’s a genetic mutation. My maternal grandmother had it too.”

That seemed to break the silent tension in the dropship.

“So, what were you doing outside of camp? Don’t you usually hang around in the back,” Octavia asked. 

I watched as the girl smirked and turned her head slightly to look at Octavia, “You only think I hang out back when in fact, I’m not really there at all. I’m usually out exploring. Teaching myself how to survive here.”

Octavia looked at her in interest and leaned in a bit, “Have you, by chance, run into any Grounders?”

“I’ve seen some,” the girl admitted with a nod. “They looked like hunters or travelers.”

“And you’re still alive,” Octavia looked at her in surprise.

The girl shrugged, “I stay hidden until they pass. But, if you think about it, the Grounders haven’t done anything since the first day. There has to be a reason why they don’t want us going to Mount Weather. And even if they were aggressive, they have a legitimate reason to be.”

“And what would that be,” I asked.

The girl looked at me with a stern expression, “We landed in their territory, Clarke. Without permission. The crash destroyed a portion of the forest. We’ve driven game away. From what I’ve seen, they’ve reverted to a more tribal society, maybe feudal. If you remember anything from your history lessons, you can understand their responses.”

I looked at her thoughtfully, but it was Octavia that said, “So, they’re just basically defending what is theirs.”

The girl nodded, “Yes, but at the same time, they’re not actively trying to run us off the land. There haven’t been any attacks since that first day. So, ask yourself, why would they do that? They obviously know we’re here. It’s hard to miss a giant fireball falling from the sky. Why have they left us alone?”

“Because they’re waiting to see what we’ll do,” I said as realization dawned on me. “They’re waiting to see if we try to take more land or if more people will show up. They’re assessing us.”

“Which means they’re watching us,” Octavia said.

The girl solemnly nodded, “Exactly.”

“Well, shit,” Octavia said, and the girl chuckled. “Bellamy would freak if he knew the Grounders were watching us.”

“You mean, he’d try and do something stupid,” I drawled, looking at her pointedly.

Octavia nodded and sighed, “Yeah, he would. Well, I’ve done all I can back here. Your back is as clean as I can get it.”

I walked around to look at the girl’s wounds, “The cat got you pretty light back here. They don’t need stitches. Honestly, you seem to have gotten pretty lucky. None of the scratches are deep. I just wish I had something I could put on them to keep infections out. You’re going to have to be careful and keep them clean.”

The girl nodded and grabbed her shirt to begin putting it back on, “I will.”

“Here, let me help you with that,” I said and made to grab the shirt.

The girl held the shirt away with me with a sly smirk on her face, “I think you just want an excuse to touch me again.”

I felt a blush rise, “You’re injured. I don’t want you to aggravate anything. Give me the damn shirt.”

The girl chuckled and stood up, “No.”

“Give me the shirt,” I said, walking towards her.

Walking away, the girl’s smirk widened, “And I said no. I can put my own shirt on. Unless…” she stepped up to me, and her voice dropped, “It’s not my shirt you want to put on, but rather, something you’d like to take off, hmm?”

The moment her voice dropped, I felt a jolt in my core, and I fought the urge to clench my thighs together.

But I was roughly pulled out of the feeling when Octavia burst out in a laugh, “Oh my god! Let me get out of here before more clothes come off.”

I spun on my heels in indignation, “Octavia!”

Octavia held up her hands in surrender and started backing out of the dropship, “Nope. When flirting starts, I’m gone. I don’t need reminders of what I’m not getting.”

The girl laughed, and I spun back around, glaring at her, “You did that on purpose.”

The girl had her shirt back on, and I hated to admit to myself that I missed the view. I guess I wasn’t subtle in my looks because she stepped closer, and I found myself frozen.

She stopped inches from me, leaned close, her nose tracing my jawline and making my breath hitch. I felt her warm breath on my skin, making me shiver, and I closed my eyes in anticipation.

“See you around, _Klark_ ,” the girl whispered hotly against my ear.

I swallowed a moan at the way she said my name but remained unmoving. Then suddenly, the heat of her body was gone, and my eyes snapped open. She was gone. I looked around in shock, but she had well and truly disappeared. Even her jacket was gone.

I stumbled to the table, trying to slow my breathing and heart rate down. Sitting with a thump, only one thing registered in my mind, “What the fuck just happened?”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got bored and thought I'd post your daily dose early. Remember, comments are always welcome. They're what keep me going.
> 
> Enjoy.

**HARLEE POV**

I ducked underneath the cloth that served as the door to my small hut to see Thor kneeling over something. I tossed my jacket to the side, and with a grunt of pain, removed my shirt once more. I sat down on the bedroll and began working the braid out of my hair.

“How’d it go, boss,” Thor asked, not looking up from his task.

“It wasn’t a bad encounter,” I replied, leaning my elbows on my knees. “I met the blonde, _Klark_ , the two boys that are always near her, and a petite brunette. The blonde has the knowledge of a _fisa_ but no supplies. She had enough skill to put my shoulder back in place with minimum pain.”

“Do you think she may know Old World medicine,” he asked as he turned around, and I saw a bowl in his hand.

I straightened up seeing the bowl, knowing that it was a salve to apply to the scratches. I shifted around so he could begin using it.

“More than likely,” I answered him, sighing in relief at the cold touch of the salve. “From what I could see of their dropship, their _tek_ is Old World. And from talking with _Sharlot_ , they lived much like the Old World. It would be a good assumption to say that they also retained that kind of knowledge.”

“If she knows Old World medicine,” Thor spoke. “That may interest _Heda_. Would it not?”

I hummed in thought, “It may. I have the only _fisas_ that are trained in Old World techniques, and they do not like traveling to the clans. But the clans also think that our _fisas’_ techniques are bordering magic, so who knows.”

“Did you learn anything else, by chance,” he asked as he began applying salve to my arms.

“Only that the other leader, _Belomi_ , is aggressive and reacts without thinking,” I replied. “He is dangerous. Tell the other scouts to keep an eye on him. I think if any trouble starts between them and us, he will be behind it.”

“ _Sha, Wocha_ ,” Thor said. “Turn around, _beja_.”

I scooted around and sat up straighter so that he could get the scratches on my chest.

“I did find out that _Klark_ is attracted to me,” I said with a smirk.

Thor shook his head, “It was your voice, wasn’t it? I swear you can get an entire brothel wet and panting by speaking only a few words. It wouldn’t matter what you said as long as you dropped your voice.”

I chuckled, “ _Sha_ , it was my voice. But she is attractive, Thor. The hair is even brighter up close. Like spun gold. And her eyes rival the color of the ocean. And her breasts… _sha_ , she is more than attractive. She is gorgeous. Though more _Heda’s_ type than mine. I’d be more interested in the petite brunette, _Okteivia_. But sadly, she seemed immune to me.”

“Pity,” he rumbled. “Let this dry before you put your shirt back on.”

“ _Mochof_ ,” I replied and began taking off my boots, setting the knife underneath my pillow. “I’m going to get some rest. My head is killing me.”

Thor nodded and began cleaning up, “I will leave this here. Perhaps, you can get the blonde _fisa_ to reapply it later.”

I laughed, “Perhaps. Now, get out of here before someone gets curious about this place.”

“ _Sha_ , boss,” Thor said with a laugh.

Thor finished up and left out of the secret entrance. I stretched out and laid on my good side. My body was sighing in relief, and I was soon asleep.

A knock on wood brought me instantly awake. My hand reached underneath for my knife. The knock sounded again, and I registered that it was coming from the camp side of my hut.

“Who is it,” I called out, my voice rasping almost painfully, as I sat up.

“It’s me,” Clarke called out. “Can I come in?”

“Yes,” I replied and watched as the cloth was nudged apart, and Clarke’s blonde hair glowed in the dimness of the space. “Hold on. Keep that open while I start a fire.”

Thor had already laid out the wood for me, and all I had to do was light the kindling. With a few strikes of flint, a steady glow began building until the room was well lit.

“Wow,” Clarke said and I looked up to see her looking around the space. “Did you do this yourself?”

“No,” I replied sarcastically and moved back to my bedroll. “I had a Grounder do it for me.”

She looked at me sharply, only to realize that I was teasing her. She came in, and I saw that she had meat and a pouch in her hands.

“What’s that,” I asked, pointing to her hands.

She looked down like she was surprised to be holding things, “Oh, your portion of the panther you killed and a pouch of water.”

“Oh, great,” I replied, and she handed them down to me. “I’m actually really thirsty.”

She fiddled with the cuffs of her sleeves as I drank nearly the entire pouch.

“How are you feeling,” Clarke asked, her eyes roaming over me.

“Better,” I replied. “The nap helped my head a lot. Even my ribs and shoulder feel better. Thank you for bringing me food.”

“Do you mind if I take a look at your back,” she asked a little apprehensively.

“Go ahead,” I replied and turned my back towards the fire so that she could see it better.

I listened as she shuffled closer and kneeled behind me. My skin rippled as she ran a finger delicately over the skin next to the scratches.

“What’s that smell,” Clarke asked.

I swallowed the bite I had and pointed to the bowl Thor had left, “A salve made up of plants I found. Plants that have medicinal purposes.”

“How’d you get it on your back,” she asked as she left to investigate the bowl.

“Found someone I hadn’t pissed off yet to put it on for me,” I lied.

“I thought you were a loner,” Clarke said, looking at me curiously.

I shrugged, “I am, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t piss people off. I think I spent so much time on my own that I don’t have the patience to put up with people’s bullshit. It felt like everywhere I turned, people were either trying to pick a fight or fuck. That’s not really my thing.”

“Then what was that in the dropship,” Clarke countered.

I smiled, looking over my shoulder at her, “I know what my voice does to people, and I know I’m attractive. I saw how you were trying not to react; I thought I’d have a little fun.”

“So, you were just trying to get a rise out of me,” she scoffed.

“Maybe,” I replied with a shrug.

Clarke frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well,” I said, speaking carefully and looking her in the eyes, “maybe I find you attractive. Maybe, I wanted to see if you were going to reciprocate. Maybe, I wanted to see what you would do.”

Clarke shook her head and went back to looking at the bowl of salve, “How did you know what plants to use?”

I sighed in disappointment, but accepted the change in topic, “I had a lot of time on my hands so, I read. One of them happened to be a book about plants and their medicinal uses.”

She looked at me with an unreadable expression, “You were kept in solitary.”

I nodded, accepting her theory, “That is where they keep the most dangerous, isn’t it.”

She shook her head in disbelief, “Not everybody in solitary was dangerous.”

I got up and walked over to her, my voice dropping dangerously, “Even knowledge can be dangerous, Clarke. It’s. All. About. Perspective.”

She swallowed and frowned, thinking, “I suppose you have a point. Does that mean I shouldn’t be left alone with you?”

I slightly smiled, “It depends. Are you planning on hurting or using me?”

“No,” Clarke replied, shaking her head.

I stepped closer to her, “Then you have nothing to worry about. I am only dangerous to those that hurt me or mine. In the right hands,” I paused and took one of her hands in mine and lifted it between us, “I am anything they want me to be.”

Clarke stood stupefied as I began to massage her hand, stepping closer to push her boundaries. I wanted to know what made this young woman tick. What did she have that made people who obviously disliked her, listen, and follow? Could she be a threat to _Heda_? Or worse, a danger to Lexa. I needed to get in this girl’s mind, and I was not above using seduction to get it.

Clarke’s eyes fluttered shut as I continued my ministrations, laying the hand I had worked on against my bare chest, and taking her other hand to begin again. The only sound in my little hut was the crackle of the fire that burned beside us.

Clarke’s hand had begun to travel down my chest, making bumps rise across my skin. I felt a twitch in my pants but ignored it for the time being. I finished massaging her hand and just held it, watching and waiting for her to make the next move. Her fingers glided over my covered breast, and I closed my eyes as I felt my nipple harden. But her fingers continued their downward travel, making my abdominal muscles contract in response. Through it all, I worked on keeping my breathing even though another part of me was slowly hardening.

A boy’s voice calling out Clarke’s name caused her movements to stop, and I let out a low growl, opening my eyes to find a startling pair of dilated sapphire eyes staring back. The boy called her name again, and she stepped away. I sucked down a whine of disappointment, releasing her hand.

“I think your boyfriend is calling you,” I said, my voice raspier than usual.

I watched as Clarke’s throat bobbed once, twice, before she nodded.

“I should probably go,” Clarke said, stepping further away from me. “I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t fallen into a coma or, you know, died from your head injury.”

I smiled crookedly, “It’ll take a lot more than a tumble down a ravine to kill me. I’ve survived worse.”

Her eyes immediately went to my chest and nodded, “You have. If it’s alright with you, I’ll come by in the morning to check on you.”

I nodded, “I’ll be here.”

“Good. Goodnight,” Clarke replied.

“Goodnight, Clarke,” I said, and then she was out of my little hut. 

I sighed and banked the fire to keep the slight chill of the night out of the room. I crawled underneath the covers of my bedroll and settled myself. After the day I had, I found myself still tired, and sleep came quickly.  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daily dose and another filler chapter.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to each other.

Dawn came in bright, but for once, I was not awake to greet it. My injuries were forcing my body to sleep and heal. Then once more, a knock on the camp side of my hut woke me up. I sat up groggily as the cloth was pushed aside, and Clarke came in with a bowl and a couple of rags.

I forced myself to think in _Gonasleng_ and greeted her, “Morning, Clarke. What did you bring me this time?”

“Just water to wash up,” Clarke replied, kneeling beside me, and setting the bowl down. “It’d be great if we had some soap, but the best I can do is Monty’s moonshine and warm water. How are you feeling this morning?”

“Stiff,” I replied and proceeded to slowly stretch, making sure to be careful of my shoulder.

Clarke looked at me thoughtfully and then said, “You know, I don’t even know your name?”

I chuckled and rolled my neck to loosen it up, “It’s Harlee, though until I hit puberty, I was called Lee.”

Clarke looked at me, curiously, “Why is that?”

I realized my mistake a second too late but shoved the memories that threatened to resurface back down and answered, “When I was born, everyone thought I was a boy. But inside, I knew I was a girl. I proved them right when I grew breasts.”

“You’re intersex,” Clarke said knowingly, and I nodded. “Is that why…”

“Yes,” I interrupted but didn’t elaborate.

“I’m sorry,” she quickly apologized.

“It’s fine,” I said, dismissively. “They’re dead. I’m not. That’s all that matters.”

Clarke nodded and decided to change the subject, “Can I take a look at your scratches?”

I nodded and wordlessly turned to expose my back to her, moving my hair over my shoulder. I felt a wet rag touch my back, making me shiver, but let Clarke continue to wash my back. When she was done, she ran a hand over the scratches, pressing every once in a while.

“Huh,” Clarke said. “These seem to be closed already.”

“A perk of the mutation,” I said, glancing at her over my shoulder. “I heal quicker than the average person.”

“That’s fascinating,” Clarke said as she retrieved the bowl of salve to put on my back. “Are there any more perks?”

“I need less sleep,” I replied. “And my senses are sharper. Growing up, it took me a bit to get used to the level of noise I could hear. And the smells too.”

“And it was just you and your grandmother who had this mutation,” Clarke asked as she moved to clean my arms.

“As far as I know,” I lied. “She died when I was five but told me that we shared the same blood.”

“I didn’t know my grandparents,” Clarke told me. “They died before I was born.”

I hummed and closed my eyes to her gentle touch. We fell silent as Clarke dressed my scratches. But in my opinion, it was over too soon.

“I’m all done,” Clarke said, making me open my eyes to look at her.

“Thank you,” I replied and began to braid my hair. “So, what are your plans for today?”

“Make sure no one dies,” Clarke joked. “While hoping that Monty figures out a way to contact the Ark.”

I looked at her, curiously, “Still can’t contact them?”

She shook her head in defeat, “No, and I’m afraid of what they might do if we don’t get in touch with them.”

“What do you think will happen,” I asked.

“Well, they sent us down here because the Council thinks we’re expendable,” Clarke began to explain. “That only gave them maybe an extra month of air. That’s still only three, four months tops. The problem can’t be fixed, and they still believe that we can’t survive down here thanks to Bellamy. The logical thing to do is to continue reducing the population. And it won’t be anyone important. It’ll be the low-level workers.”

I frowned, “Do they really think so little of their people?”

“It’s about survival, Harlee,” Clarke bitterly replied. “We were supposed to stay up there for another hundred years, but you can only repair systems so many times before you can’t. The stations weren’t meant to stay up there that long without supplies from the ground.”

“You do know that the Ark isn’t your responsibility, don’t you Clarke,” I asked, turning to face her better.

“I, I feel like it is,” she replied, looking down at her lap.

“Why,” I gently asked.

Clarke shrugged, “I knew about the flaw. Jaha floated my father and stuck me in solitary to keep it a secret. My mother, she turned him in and is on the Council. She helped make the decisions to send us down.”

I reached up and, with a finger, lifted her head to look at me, “So, you think that by association, you’re just as responsible as they are?”

“I guess,” she said, and I could see the sadness in her eyes. The weight of it all was there in front of me.

“Clarke, even though you knew, and even though your mother is a Council member, doesn’t make you responsible,” I told her. “That lies solely with the Council. What you can do, and what you should do is focus on what’s in front of you.”

Clarke scoffed, “What? You?”

I grinned and chuckled, “No, but if you want to, I’m game.”

“Whatever,” she said, smiling.

“But in all seriousness, I’m talking about the people here,” I told her. “Focus on their survival. Focus on what needs to be done to make sure they have a chance here.”

“Why do you talk like you’re not a part of them. Of us,” Clarke asked.

I released her head as I shrugged, “I’m not. I’ve been isolated in one way or another my entire life. Maybe, in time, I’ll feel differently, but for now, it is the way it is.”

“That’s a lonely existence, Harlee,” Clarke replied.

“Maybe, but I don’t know how to live any other way,” I told her. “Just like you can’t help but care.”

She smiled slightly and said, “I think you’re afraid. I think you’re afraid of letting people in.”

“Or maybe I just need to find the right person to let in,” I replied, dropping my voice, and looking at her meaningfully.

Clarke closed her eyes at the sound of my voice, and her breath hitched, “You’re doing that on purpose.”

“Doing what,” I teased, keeping my voice low.

“That,” she stuttered, opening her eyes slowly to look at me.

“I’m not doing anything. I’m just talking,” I continued in my sultry tone.

“You’re trying to change the subject,” Clarke argued.

I grinned mischievously and shrugged, “Why would I want to change the subject, _Klark_?”

“Because…because,” Clarke started to struggle with forming words.

I chuckled and moved slowly towards her until she lay beneath me. I had her pinned but hovered making sure Clarke had room to move away. I slowly lowered myself and watched as her eyes grew wide and her pupils dilated. Her hands flew to my hips, gripping them firmly.

I lowered my face until I was less than an inch away, “Do you want me to stop, _Klark_?”

Clarke swallowed and took a shuddering breath, “I…I”

I moved my head and traced her jaw with my nose and purred with satisfaction when she turned her head to give me access. I ignored the scent of unwashed skin and inhaled what was purely Clarke.

“Do you want me to stop, _Klark_ ,” I asked again, whispering in her ear.

“Please,” she whispered breathlessly.

“Please, what, _Klark_ ,” I ghosted over her ear.

“I need…” Clarke lowly whined.

“What do you need, _Klark_ ,” I began to trace her neck feather-light with my nose. “Tell me.”

Clarke let out a whine, and her grip tightened on my hips like she needed to ground herself.

“Tell me,” I growled, and a sound like a choked sob broke from her throat.

I felt her swallow a few times, her breath was coming fast, her heart beating just as quickly, “I need you to stop. Please.”

“Alright,” I replied and just as quickly got off her and was back to sitting on my bedroll.

Clarke lay there, panting on the ground, her thighs clenching together. I let her catch her breath and moved about to begin getting dressed. By the time I was tying my last bootlace, she had finally seemed to calm.

“You are evil,” Clarke said, still laying on the ground and looking up.

I chuckled, “That _is_ the opinion of some people.”

Clarke sat up on her elbows, scowling at me, “Why do you do that?”

“Do what,” I asked as I slid my knife into my boot.

“Have an honest conversation, and then, like a switch, you’re trying to seduce me,” Clarke said.

“I am seducing you, Clarke,” I impishly replied.

“That’s not an answer, Harlee,” Clarke argued.

I shook my head and smiled, “I have poor impulse control. Your beauty is too distracting, and I just can’t seem to help myself.”

“I’m too pretty,” Clarke said in disbelief. “That’s your reason.”

“No,” I said, getting up. “You’re gorgeous.”

With that, I dropped and kissed her. I kissed her long enough for her to begin kissing me back. Then, I was up and heading out of the hut, grabbing a bow and quiver on the way. Leaving a stunned Clarke behind. I whistled a particular bird call and headed out of the camp through one of the holes in the back wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, but I love writing about Harlee messing with Clarke the way she is. Actually, I really liked this interaction because Harlee is purposefully keeping Clarke off-balanced. She pushes for information and then switches tactics. That way Clarke doesn't realize that she's being interrogated.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My daily offering to the masses. Be kind and don't forget to comment. I enjoy reading them.
> 
> Enjoy and keep it clean.

The moment I stepped out and into the forest, I felt like I could breathe. I stopped and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, feeling the breeze against my skin. I felt rejuvenated. Slinging the quiver over my shoulder, I started walking deeper into the surrounding forest. When I was well and truly away from the _Skaikru_ camp, Avil fell from the trees to join me. I grunted a greeting as I scanned the ground for signs of prey.

Avil held out some bread with meat in it, and I took it from him gratefully. We munched on the food as we continued to hunt.

“Any news, Av,” I asked after we had finished eating and passing the waterskin between.

“I received a hawk from Deke,” Avil replied. “He’s sending Trey and Sam to guard the girls. They should arrive by midday. Thor will meet them. Deke and the rest will arrive in Tondc the day after tomorrow.”

I nodded, “ _Os_. Have there been any problems with the girls?”

“Unfortunately,” he replied, and I glanced at him. He went on to explain, “The girl you replaced has been…difficult.”

“How,” I asked, bending down to examine a print.

“She has refused to eat and is belligerent,” Avil replied.

I sighed and got up to start following the prints, “That is to be expected, Av. She goes to sleep in her camp only to wake up in a cell and chained to a wall. Continue to provide food and water. If she continues to refuse, have the healer get involved. If her belligerence affects _Sharlot_ , separate the two. There is not much else we can do.”

“ _Sha, Wocha_ ,” Avil replied. “Have you, by chance, learned anything new?”

“They still have no way of contacting their people on the Ark,” I told him. “Though they do have someone working on it. Clarke believes that if it remains that way, their leaders will begin reducing the population. Continuing their practice of removing those they deem unnecessary to their survival.”

“So, they will be sending down more people,” Avil hazarded.

I shook my head, “No. Clarke inferred that it would be more drastic. The leaders will kill their own people to save themselves.”

“And I thought the Ice Queen was cruel.”

I snorted, “She can afford to wipe out entire towns, and her people will remain in the tens of thousands. By the sounds of it, this Ark holds less than Tondc. The leaders of the Ark would effectively be wiping out their own people.”

“That seems wasteful,” Avil replied in disbelief.

I shrugged, “They think the Earth uninhabitable and that their only salvation lies with surviving within their metal coffin for the next hundred years. If they wish to continue to kill themselves this way, who are we to argue. We only need to worry if they come down with their _fayagons en tek_. If they try to claim land that is not theirs.”

“Then we should hope that these _Skaikru_ never reach their Ark,” Avil said with determination.

I paused in our hunt and looked at him, “Or, we make sure that they are given no reason to start a war with us.”

“How do we do that,” Avil asked.

I shrugged and started walking again, “That is for _Heda_ to decide. But, the obvious is to keep their children alive. Even if they sent them here to die, I doubt they would take it kindly if we killed them.”

“Are you proposing a truce or alliance with these _Skai goufas_?”

“There is a truce, Avil,” I explained. “A non-aggression that the _Skai goufas_ are not aware of, but it is there. For there to be an alliance, there must be something to gain. So far, I have not seen anything that would be beneficial.”

“Not even against the _Maun-de_ ,” he asked.

That made me pause again, and I looked at him in wonder, “By Odin’s Horns, you might have something there, Avil. I must give it further thought.”

Pleased with himself, he grinned and then pointed to our east, “The deer you have been following is beyond those bushes, _Wocha_.”

I rolled my eyes, “I knew that Avil. Now, _shof op_ and let me hunt.”

He chuckled and bowed, “ _Sha, Wocha_.”

“ _Joken branwoda_ ,” I mumbled and readied my bow.

Less than ten minutes later, the buck was dead, and I was on my way back to camp. Avil keeping me company until we reached the outer ring of scouts. With a salute, he was back in the trees, and I was making my way to the gate once more.

The moment I was through the gates, a crowd descended on me. I ignored them and headed to where they usually prepared the meat. I dropped the buck at my feet and sighed to have the weight off my shoulders. It was large enough to feed everyone for the day.

Kneeling, I pulled out a knife and began gutting it. A group chatting excitedly as they watched, though there were some sounds of disgust and a few vomiting sounds when I removed the reproductive organs. I snickered and shook my head at their behavior.

“I see that you came back unscathed this time,” a young man’s voice spoke up from the crowd.

I looked up to see the other leader, Bellamy, looking at me expectantly. I turned back to my task and answered, “The panther was an unlucky accident. The buck was purposeful. Which is why the only blood I will have on me is that of this beautiful creature.”

“Where’d you get the bow and knife,” Bellamy asked, stepping closer.

“I found the knife and made the bow,” I replied.

“It’s a nice knife,” Bellamy said.

“And it’s mine,” I replied, looking at him with a cold gaze. “If you want your own, you’ll have to leave camp and look for one yourself.”

The boy nodded, “Fair enough. I heard that you saw a few Grounders while you were…exploring.”

“You heard right,” I said. “Hunters mostly. A few that looked like they were traveling somewhere. They didn’t notice me, so I’d say we’re still safe.”

“And how would you know that,” Bellamy demanded.

I stopped and leaned back to look at him fully, “Because we’re still alive.”

“You seem pretty confident,” he accused.

“Why wouldn’t I be,” I countered, glaring at him. “The hunting parties you send out come back unharmed. I come back unharmed. Whoever’s out there is leaving us alone. There’s no reason to go looking for a fight.”

“They attacked one of our own,” Bellamy argued.

“After he crossed a river and held up a sign to Mount Weather,” I replied. “That river is a boundary that no one is allowed to cross. For all we know, they would have done that with anyone who crossed.”

“You don’t know that.”

I sighed, “Neither do you. Don’t go looking for a fight, Bellamy. No one here knows how, and it will only get people killed.”

“We have a right to protect ourselves,” he continued to argue.

I pointed out into the forest, “So do they. We’re the invaders, Bellamy. We crash landed on _their_ land. Burned down _their_ forest. Have run off and are now hunting _their_ game. What right do we have to any of this? Their ancestors stayed while ours fled. We gave up any right to claim the land we’re on.”

“She’s right,” the boy I recalled named Wells spoke up, joining us. “This isn’t our land. The moment we landed, and they figured there were people here, they could have attacked. And we would have died. The Grounders are showing restraint, patience. If we go out looking for a fight, they will fight back. And it will cost us more than our lives here.”

“You just want your daddy down here so that you don’t have to rough it anymore,” Bellamy sneered.

I sighed, and stood up to face Bellamy, “Why do you always have to put this guy down, Bellamy? What did he ever do to you?”

“His father floated my mother. Arrested my sister just because she exists,” Bellamy argued, his hands fisting at his sides.

I twirled the bloody knife in my hands and stepped closer, “So, that automatically makes it his fault? The sins of the father are thrust upon the child. That’s pretty fucked up, Bellamy. Isn’t that how the Ark thinks? Isn’t that how the Council thinks? Your parents are bad, so, therefore, you are bad too. All you’re doing is repeating the cycle. How are we ever going to be better than the Council and their laws if you keep thinking that way?”

“We _are_ better than the Council,” Bellamy sneered.

I scoffed, “Really? If we are, then forget who his father is. Forget who and what we were on the Ark. None of that matters anymore. What matters is who we are down here. Survival is what matters. Judge him for what he does to make sure we survive.”

I turned my back to him and resumed cleaning the buck, “Because quite frankly, what I see is that he works hard every day to make sure that we have food to eat and a wall to protect us. Whereas you, Bellamy, intimidate people into working and picking which girl you want to fuck.”

“Yeah, well, you hide in the back and avoid everyone,” Bellamy countered.

“No, I don’t,” I replied, keeping to my task. “If you haven’t noticed, Bellamy, in two days, I’ve brought in more meat than your hunting parties. I made my own hunting weapons. I found better weapons than the crude ones people have been able to make. I may be more interested in ensuring my own survival, but I’m not above sharing. And I prefer my own company to gossip.”

I reached in the buck and grabbed the organs, pulling them out with a squelch. There was a round of noises as I set them off to the side. Flipping the buck over to let it drain of blood, I moved to burn the organs in the fire because these kids would refuse to eat them. I looked around to see that Bellamy had left, making me smirk internally, but saw Wells hovering around still. Walking to a bowl, I peered into it and discovered it was water. Using it to clean my hands and knife off as best I could.

“You know you made an enemy of him,” Wells said, finally speaking up as the crowd thinned out.

I shrugged, “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to survive, and I plan on surviving.”

“Still,” the young man replied, “he holds a lot of sway, and they might just come for you in the middle of the night.”

I smirked at him, “If that happens, they might just meet more than they can handle. I’m not worried, Wells.”

“You’re as cocky as they are, you know that right,” he chuckled.

“Only because I can back up my words,” I replied. “Do you want to give me a hand? It’ll be easier to raise this with two people.”

He nodded, and we got to work. Turned out, he was interested in learning how to skin an animal properly. So, I took the time and showed him how. Then proceeded to show him how to prepare the meat so that it cooked thoroughly without charring. He was an eager student, and I found myself warming up to him. He was just one more person I mentally added to my list of people worth saving. Out of ninety-plus kids, I had found only four.

The odds weren’t in favor of the Sky Fallen.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your daily dose. 
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.
> 
> P.S. Some dialogue is taken directly from season 1 episode 4, _Murphy's Law_

That evening, I sat by one of the fires in a corner by myself. Observing everyone around me and listening in on their conversations. It was all typical fireside chats. Mundane. Asinine. _Boring_. I stayed as long as I could stand it, and then I was up and looking for a particular blonde.

I found her and her usual group of followers inside the dropship. I moved inside to an out of the way spot and unabashedly listened in.

“Will we be able to talk to them,” Clarke asked a kid that was sitting in front of some contraption.

“No,” the boy replied, looking at Clarke. “More like Morse Code.” Then he looked at another boy, lanky with something dangling from his neck. “You want to do the honors?”

The boy stepped forward, a little hesitant in his movements, and taking something in his hand.

“That port right there,” the first boy pointed.

I watched as the tension raised in the space. The boy reached over and connected something, then the moment he took his hand away, sparks flew. Octavia yelped, and I saw Finn wince in pain as he looked at his wrist that held the band.

“What the hell,” Octavia yelped.

“What happened,” Clarke demanded.

The boy who was sitting in front of the contraption looked at the group, dejected, “It didn’t work. I think…I think we fried all the wristbands.”

The group looked at each other as any hope they had…any hope of reaching the Ark vanished. I felt terrible that their chance of saving their people went up in a shot of sparks. But the more practical side of me felt relief that it appeared the rest of their people would never reach the ground. That the Coalition didn’t have to worry about another group of people falling from the Sky. Now, I just had to figure out what to do with these children. Save a few and kill the rest. Or, as Avil suggested, could these Skaikru be the answer to ending my war with the Mountain.

I was brought out of my thoughts when Finn flew past me, followed quickly by Clarke. Though, she paused with a lingering, almost longing look before she was pushing past the cloth that covered the entrance. I glanced at the group, watching as they seemed to wilt under the knowledge that their people would die.

I shook my head, a part of me wanting to say something. Instead, I headed back out, looking for something, or maybe someone.

“Hey,” someone called to me.

I looked to see who and found two girls, a brunette and blonde, walking over to me.

“Did something happen,” the brunette asked. “The kids with the wristbands all got shocked.”

I nodded, “Yeah. Some kid thought he figured out how to talk to the Ark, but they ended up shorting the bands out. Now, there’s no way we’ll be able to get in touch. We’re on our own.”

“You don’t sound too disappointed,” the blonde girl said.

I smirked, “I spent most of my life locked up, and my people have been dead a long time. My survival is the only thing I care about.”

The girls shared a look, and they stepped towards me as one. I quirked a brow at them and waited.

“Well,” the brunette said, laying a hand on my bicep. “If that deer and panther are anything to go by…”

“And by that hut you’ve built,” the blonde said, placing a hand on my hip. “We’d say that you might just have this survival thing figured out.”

“Really,” I said, reaching out to pull them closer, and dropping my voice. “Are the two of you hoping I’ll share my survival skills with you?”

Both girls shivered at the sound of my voice, and my smirk grew.

The blonde stepped closer, wrapping her arm further around my waist, and dropping her voice too, “We can make it worth your while. Can’t we, Roma?”

Roma nodded, stepping closer as well, “Oh, that we definitely can, Bree.”

I chuckled deep in my throat, “Then why don’t we find somewhere more… _private_ to discuss payment? Somewhere roomier than my little hut.”

The girls shared another look and taking me by the hands, led me to a rather spacious tent. Glancing at it, I realized that it happened to be the tent that Bellamy usually frequented. I laughed at the irony and decided that a night of distraction couldn’t hurt.

Dawn was peeking over the horizon when I finally emerged from the tent. Both girls thoroughly exhausted and sated after the night we spent. I looked around the camp and noticed that no one was lying anywhere near. I stretched, laughing, and walked back over to my hut. I was nearly there when a shadow detached itself from the wall. I looked over and saw Octavia striding over to me.

“Morning, Octavia,” I greeted the brunette as she came to walk beside me.

“That it is,” Octavia replied. “I didn’t get an ounce of sleep because of you.”

“Oh,” I said, knowing full well why and feeling oddly pleased with myself. “I’m sorry to hear that. Why couldn’t you sleep?”

“You know why,” Octavia retorted, glaring at me. “No one was able to sleep last night. Not with the noise that was coming out of that tent. I was going to yell at my brother, only to find him pissed, sulking, and glaring daggers from the gate. Then I find out it was you, Roma, and Bree in there. What the fuck, Harlee?!”

I smirked and leaned against the wall of my hut, crossing my arms in front of me, “Do you want me to apologize for thoroughly pleasuring my bed partners because I’m not.”

Octavia glared at me, her hands on her hips, trying to stare me down. I just quirked a brow and waited.

She groaned and threw up her hands, “God. Whatever. But did you have to be so _loud_? I mean, Jesus Christ, I’m pretty sure everyone within miles heard you three.”

I laughed and shook my head, “Yes. Yes, we did.”

“God, you’re totally not ashamed. Like, at all,” Octavia said in exasperation.

I straightened, “Nope.”

Octavia chuckled and shook her head, “You are something else, Harlee.”

I shrugged and headed into my hut, Octavia following, “I take my fun wherever I can get it, Octavia. Now that I got a second lease on life, I plan on making the most of it. So, what brings you to my simple abode? Or did you come in to continue to chastise me for my nighttime proclivities.”

“Huh,” Octavia asked, looking confused.

I rolled my eyes, “Are you going to continue to lecture me about how I spent my night? Or was there something else?”

“Oh,” she replied. “Actually, I was wondering if you were planning on going out today. And if you were if I could come with you?”

“Well, I came back to get some uninterrupted sleep,” I said, looking around the hut for any reason to say no, but found nothing. “But I guess we can go out. You know what, there’s a place that I could show you. I think you’ll like it.”

“Cool,” Octavia looked at me in excitement. “And maybe you could show me how to use a bow? Bellamy’s not keen on letting me learn how to hunt. He has me on lockdown and has scared off all the guys.”

I nodded in understanding and grinned, “And you figured since I have a way in and out of camp without anyone noticing…what he doesn’t know won’t hurt you.”

“Exactly,” Octavia beamed at me.

“Alright,” I said, grabbing a few things and putting them in a bag. Holding it out to her, “Here, you take this, and I’ll take the bow.”

She grabbed the bag and slung it over her shoulders as I put the quiver on my back. We left the hut and after a shared looked, headed out through a hole in the wall. The moment we were through, I heard a bird call, and I knew one of the twins would be following us. I heard another, and I furrowed my brow in confusion. It looked like someone else would be following us too. Out of Octavia’s vision, I relayed a hand signal to let them know I heard.

I pointed us in the direction I wanted to go. I spent our walk instructing Octavia on how to move about without making noise. Silencing her whenever she tried to start a conversation with a glare. We stopped at a stream to fill water pouches and take a rest.

“I feel like we’ve walked for miles,” Octavia said, taking off her boots and socks to soak in the stream. “Did you have someplace in mind, or are we just walking in circles?”

I laughed, “I have in place in mind. You said you wanted to learn how to shoot a bow, so I’m taking you someplace to have a bit of target practice.”

“Where,” Octavia excitedly asked.

“I think it used to be a farm,” I told her. “Everything’s practically gone except for a corner with a bit of wall. Nothing but grass growing around it. The wall’s big enough that we won’t lose any arrows. I don’t have many, and arrowheads are a bitch to shape.”

Octavia nodded, “Cool. So, how far is this place?”

“A couple of miles from here,” I replied. “I would have kept going, but you looked about ready to drop.”

“Well, if it weren’t for Bell, I’d be doing what you’re doing,” Octavia said. “Going out every day and seeing the world.”

I looked at her curiously, “What's stopping you?”

“Well, Bell is,” she replied like that was the answer for everything.

“I get that he’s your brother, but there’s no leash holding you in camp,” I said. “If you wanted to, there’s nothing he can do to stop you. So, what’s really holding you back?”

Octavia sighed and looked out over the forest, “I guess I’m scared. That first day was so beautiful. Then we saw that two-headed deer, and it was a bit of a reality check, you know. That what we’d read in books or saw in films was nothing compared to how it really is down here. Then I got attacked by that giant water snake. Jasper got speared and nearly died. This place may be beautiful, but it’s dangerous. I mean, you got attacked by a freaking panther, for god’s sake.”

She paused and seemed to take a steadying breath, then looked at me, “How come you’re not scared? You’re out here day after day, by _yourself_. You got attacked, but you just got up and went right back out. How?”

I sighed and looked down to watch the water for a moment, seeing the glints of sunlight reflected off the water, as I thought how I could answer her question.

“I am scared,” I said. “I’m scared that every day I wake up will be my last. That’s been a part of my life since the moment I could think for myself. But, I wake up determined too. I’m determined to survive. I use that fear and determination to make myself stronger. To face the day and fight it. Octavia, the future may be in flux because we don’t know what will happen with the Grounders, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t make the most of each day you have. Figure out what you want and fight for it. And don’t let anyone stand in your way.”

“Even Bell,” Octavia asked with a smirk.

I smiled and nodded, “Even Bell. But I think I know where he’s coming from. He wants to protect you. Keep you safe and innocent. It’s what _good_ parents and siblings do. But sometimes, it blinds them to the fact that you’re growing up. That you have a mind of your own and are capable of making decisions and facing the consequences of those decisions. And sometimes, the only way to make them understand is to force them to see. So, don’t let fear or your brother hold you back from doing what you want to do. But think before you act because that’ll only lead to trouble.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” Octavia pointed out.

I shrugged, “My parents tried to make me into something I wasn’t ever going to be. I stood up to them and faced the consequences of my actions. But I never lost sight of who and what I was. Of whom and what I am. No matter what, Octavia, you have to be true to yourself. Because if you don’t, you’ll never know happiness.”

“That is some deep shit, Harlee,” Octavia breathed out with a heavy sigh.

I smiled, “Well, I’ve had years to think about it. Growing up in solitary gives you time, you know. But come on, we’re wasting daylight. We probably only have a few hours before your brother starts losing his mind because he can’t find you.”

Octavia groaned and reluctantly pulled her feet out of the water, “Don’t remind me. God, why did I have to be the one to have a brother? They’re such a pain in the ass.”

I laughed and helped her up once she got dressed again. An hour later, we were breaking through the trees. In front of us was a field that held the remains of a building in the center. We explored a bit at Octavia’s behest, and then I started teaching her how to use the bow.

I had a hard time keeping a straight face. Octavia would yelp and whine whenever the bowstring would strike her forearm. She would groan and bemoan when the arrow would land a few feet away from us. But, I had to give it to her; she never once stopped trying. Not until I noticed that her arms were trembling from exertion and finally calling a halt.

“How are you so good at this already,” Octavia whined as I rubbed some salve into her blistered fingers and forearm.

Chuckling, I answered, “One, I have the muscles already. Two, because of said muscles, the bow is weighted and requires a stronger pull. And three, I have done this every day we’ve been down here. Like with everything else, getting good requires patience, determination, and constant practice. You’re going to fail many times before you can hit the target. And you’re going to fail many times after. But eventually, you’ll hit the target every time. Then you move further back and keep working on it. You do it until you can hit a moving target that’s as small as your pinky.”

“Damn, that’s a lot of work,” Octavia exhaled.

I nodded, and then a bird call caught my attention. My head snapped around, and it sounded again. I cursed myself for getting distracted and then started quickly gathering everything.

“Come on,” I told Octavia, pulling her to her feet. “We need to leave. Now.”

“What? Why,” Octavia asked, as I dragged her back to the trees quickly.

“Move now. Questions later,” I growled as I continued to drag her further into the trees.

The bird call sounded again, and I let out a curse. Whoever was out there was getting closer and faster than we could move. I saw a tree ahead that we could climb and made straight for it.

“Come on, this way,” I said, ignoring her protests.

We got to the tree, and I draped the bow over my shoulders. I grabbed Octavia by the waist, “When I tell you to, jump as hard as you can and grab that branch. Then pull yourself up.”

“Wait. What’s going on,” Octavia said, but I ignored her and lifted her.

She automatically grabbed onto the branch, and I helped her scramble up. I stepped back a few paces and with a running start, kicked off the tree and grabbed another branch.

“Keep climbing, Octavia,” I ordered. “Don’t stop until I tell you to.”

“Harlee, what’s going on,” she asked once more but started to climb.

“People are coming,” I told her. “We need to hide.”

“I didn’t hear anything,” Octavia protested.

“Well, I did,” I said with a huff and kept climbing. “Because of the mutation, my senses are sharper. I hear further than you.”

“Are we high enough yet,” Octavia asked when we were a good forty feet from the ground.

I looked around and relented, “Yeah, this will work. But whatever you do, you have to keep still and quiet. Just hug the trunk, and you should be okay.”

She nodded and scurried on the branch we were on until she could hug the trunk with her arms and legs. I nodded and crouching, moved out a bit until I could watch the forest floor. Not five minutes later, a group broke through the brush. They wore the clothing of Shallow Valley, and I relaxed just a bit. They were rather peaceful, but even so, it was better to be careful, especially since I saw about six warriors in the group.

Listening to their conversation, they were tradesmen traveling through on their way home from Polis. I was curious as to why they weren’t using the trade roads but thought that maybe they were hoping to sell more goods at the smaller villages.

I heard a noise in front of me, and I peered up to see Thor and Lincoln looking back at me. We exchanged a few hand signals, and Thor was scampering off after the tradesman. I relaxed, even more, knowing that we were being watched over. I turned back to Octavia, moving slow, and saw her watching after the group with a look of awe on her face. I laid a hand on her back to let her know I was there and winced when she flinched. But she kept quiet and nodded to let me know she was okay. I held my hand in place until I heard Thor’s bird call to let me know it was all clear.

With a sigh, I relaxed, “They’re gone. We can go now.”

“Who was that,” Octavia whispered.

“I’d guess a group of tradesman by the packs they were carrying,” I replied as I began helping her down. “There looked to be a few warriors with them too. There clothing was different from what I’ve seen before. So, maybe a different group of people than the ones who live here.”

“Are you shitting me,” Octavia asked in shock. “There are enough people to have different clothes. Holy fuck! Just how many people are there?”

“I don’t know, but let’s just concentrate on getting down and back to camp,” I told her.

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds good,” she replied. “Jesus, I was so not expecting my day to turn out like this.”

I chuckled as I helped her down the last few feet, “Still want to explore the world? Or are you going to be happy staying in camp from now on?”

“Oh, no,” Octavia shook her head after she dropped to the ground. “I still want to get out, but maybe not so far next time.”

I laughed and clapped her on the back, “I’ll try and remember that. Come on. There’s one more stop I want to make before we head back to camp.”

Octavia looked at me excitedly, the fear of encountering Grounders for the first time gone, “Really? Are we going to go and spy on those Grounders we saw?”

I looked at her like she had lost her mind, “Octavia, you were shaking like the leaves on the tree just a second ago, and now you want to go _spy_ on them. Why would we do that?”

Octavia grinned and shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe because they’re people and not some weird human-animal hybrid thingy. Come on; you can’t say that you’re not curious about them, Harlee.”

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration before I looked at her and shook my head, “Octavia, I may be curious, but I don’t have a death wish. There were _warriors_ ; among the group. People with swords, knives, and bows. People who could hurt, or worse, _kill_ us. I may have a bow and a couple of knives, but I’m not ready to fight off a bunch of them. Are you?”

Octavia’s shoulders sagged in defeat, and she looked appropriately reprimanded, though still wistful, “No. No, I’m not. You’re right. It was a silly idea, anyway. So, where did you want to go?”

Seeing her look like the wind just got taken out of her sails, I slung an arm around her shoulders and said, “Octavia, there will come a time when it will be safe to explore further, but until then, we need to be cautious. We need to learn how to move like these people. Use weapons like theirs. Fight like them…And _eat_ like them. Did you not see how big they were? They were _huge_ compared to everyone at camp.”

“But not you,” Octavia said, looking over at me. “You’re built like them.”

I nodded and started guiding her back towards the camp, “Yeah, but that’s because I worked out constantly in my cell. However, that was really hard to do because they gave us so little to eat. I’d work out and then have to stop because my body would hurt more than it should have. Simply because I wasn’t getting the nutrition I needed. I spent years living like that, but because I’ve gotten out of camp and explored, I’ve found some of the foods I need. That’s why I’m in better shape than most of you.”

“So, if I want to look like you or at least have muscles,” Octavia blushed, “I need to work out and start eating better. Is that what you’re saying?”

I grinned, “Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Or if you don’t know exercises, different types of manual labor help too, like working on the wall. Carrying buckets of water from the river to the camp. Digging latrines.”

Octavia giggled as she grimaced, “Uh, I’ll take a pass on the latrines. That’s just too gross.”

I nodded, “I have to agree. Necessary but gross. Now, as to where I’m taking you. I found a patch of wild blueberries that are ripe for the picking. Which if memory serves me right are a good source of vitamin C. Something we desperately need if we want to stay healthy.”

“Geez, exactly how much did you read stuck in your cell,” Octavia asked, looking at me in disbelief.

“Whatever they’d give me,” I answered with a sheepish grin. “A hundred times over. To the point that I’d memorized them and could recite passages verbatim. I have a plethora of knowledge that only _now_ does it come in handy.”

“Like they were teasing you with things you’d never get to do,” Octavia said. “Or somehow preparing you.”

I shrugged and unslung my arm from Octavia, “Whatever their reasoning, it worked out. If they hadn’t sent us down, I would have been floated in a few months. So, all’s well that ends well. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Octavia nodded, “Yeah, I do.” She grinned, “I really do.”

“Good,” I said and pointed to a hill. “The patch is just on the other side of that hill. We’ll get as much as we can stuff in my bag, then head back to camp.”

Octavia looked at the hill and then back at me, a slow mischievous grin forming, “I’ll race you.”

Catching her infectious spirit, I nodded, grinning in return, “Oh, you’re on, Octavia. On my mark?”

Octavia nodded, grinning wide, and readied herself. I looked at her and then yelled out, “Go,” and took off. Octavia was half a step behind me as we raced up the hill, laughing. I could have easily outstripped her but slowed down to give her a bit of confidence. I still won, though. There was no way I’d let a weak _Skai goufa_ beat me in a race. No matter how much I liked her as a person.

I crested the top of the hill and threw up my arms in victory, laughing as she made her way up, cursing and breathing hard.

She stopped beside me, and bend over, trying to catch her breath. Octavia gasped out, “No…fair. You…cheated.”

Not even barely winded, I just grinned at her, “Octavia, did you forget the parts where I’ve told you that I come out here _every_ day? I’m not just exploring. I’m training myself like running. I mean, how do you think I survived that panther? I outran that bitch.”

Octavia looked up at me from her position, “You know, I hadn’t given it any thought.”

I rolled my eyes, “Of course, you didn’t. Come on, let’s get those berries.”

“Can’t we just, like, lay here and forget about them,” Octavia whined.

I grabbed her and started dragging her to the berry patch, “No. We left camp, which means we should bring something back. Maybe it’ll satisfy your brother somewhat.”

Octavia snorted, “Yeah, no. That’s not gonna happen. He’s gonna be pissed that I left. No matter what we come back with.”

“Your brother is a real asshole. You know that, right,” I said, frowning.

Octavia shrugged, “Bell practically raised me. He’s the one that kept me entertained while Mom was working. Used his old school books to teach me. He’s the first one that held me when I was born. Bell’s been there for me, and he gave up so much of his life for me.”

I nodded as I began to understand the siblings better, “I get it. He is as much your parent as he is your brother.”

“Yeah,” Octavia sighed as we began to pick berries. “I just wish he would take a step back and let me breathe. Let me figure things out on my own. But he’s so intent on protecting me, that it’s like he doesn’t see me. Like he doesn’t see that I’m not some little girl anymore. That I’ve grown up.”

“As I said at the stream, Octavia,” I said, slightly muffled by the bush I was currently digging through. “Sometimes you need to force someone to see that you’re no longer that image they have stuck in their head. In this case, a child. And they’re going to fight to accept that change because it means that they have to redefine themselves. They have to redefine the relationship they have with whomever. Sometimes, it drives them apart. Sometimes, it brings them closer. But, no matter how much you love them, you have to do what’s right for you. Because _you_ are the important one. It’s not your role to make _them_ happy. Your role is to make yourself happy.”

I stepped out of the bush and looked at Octavia, “Do you understand what I’m trying to say, Octavia?”

Octavia leaned out of her bush, frowning, “You’re saying that I should be myself and not what Bell wants me to be.”

I nodded, “Octavia, you should never compromise yourself to make others feel good. Because in the end, neither one of you will ever be truly happy. And sometimes, it will come to a choice between you and them. Always choose you.”

I saw as Octavia realized what I was implying. I saw the sadness and pity in her eyes before they morphed into understanding. She didn’t say anything, just nodded and went back to picking berries. I sighed, turned back to my own bush, and started again. The weight of my past growing heavier because to find common ground with these _Skai goufas_ , I had to dredge up those memories and relate it to their pain and suffering. I just hoped that I was strong enough to bear that weight after all this time, and not break under the strain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Northern_Insanity's comment on the last chapter, I decided to edit and add to this chapter. It allowed me to have a deeper conversation between Harlee and Octavia. I like how Harlee's relationship with Octavia is different from her relationship with Clarke. Harlee takes on more of a mentorship role where she pushes Octavia towards independence and thinking for herself. While with Clarke, besides keeping her off-balance, she's trying to offer understanding. As one leader to another.
> 
> And remember, comments are always appreciated, but do keep it clean.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daily dose. I may not post tomorrow. I'm currently working on chapter 16 and wobbling over what exactly happens. Hopefully, I'll figure it out and post it on time.
> 
> Enjoy and don't forget to be kind.

We split once we dropped off the berries. I headed directly to the hut to drop off my bow and quiver. I saw a small package on my bedroll and walked over to it curiously. The moment I lifted it, a delicious aroma filled my nose, and I remembered I hadn’t eaten anything today. Sitting down, I eagerly tore the package open and inhaled the meat pie inside, moaning a little in pleasure. Too soon, it was gone, and I was left licking my fingers clean.

I stretched out on the bedroll, removing my boots and knives to get more comfortable. I let my mind wander, and soon enough, I fell into a doze. While I slept, my mind went over the possibility of using _Skaikru_ as a means of ending the _Maunon_. Their ineptitude might very well be the answer. If they got in, it was possible because of their similarities that the _Maunon_ wouldn’t do whatever they did to my people. If that were the case, these kids would have the freedom to destroy them from the inside. The problem, as I saw it, was communication. Coordinating between those inside and us outside. And from the looks of it, there wasn’t anyone here with the knowledge. But there was also the problem with incentive.

These kids wouldn’t do anything to help unless they got something out of it. I didn’t see them doing it for the simple fact of remaining here at their camp. No, I thought, they’d want more. They’d want everything their leaders didn’t give them. Food, water, clothes, shelter, protection. _Heda_ might be willing to provide some of it, but it wouldn’t last. Nothing here was a given. We _earned_ everything we had. Even _Heda_ and I had earned our places. And if you didn’t know how to do something, you learned.

The question that dragged me out of slumber was if these Sky Fallen would get their head out of their asses and start learning.

I stepped out of my hut to see fires already starting and the smell of something cooking wafting in the air. I stretched and strolled over. My mind was still mulling over the question when someone tugged on my arm. I turned and smirked, seeing Bree holding onto my arm. I let her guide me closer to the dropship until I had her pinned to it loosely.

“Hi,” I grinned at the blonde, my eyes raking over her.

“You weren’t there when we woke up,” Bree pouted.

My grin widened, and I cocked my head slightly, “Ah, you missed me.”

“We missed something alright,” she wickedly replied and went to grab my crotch, but I quickly intercepted her hand.

I laid a kiss to her palm before I raised it above our heads and pinning it to the dropship. I shook my head, tsking in chastisement, “Now, now. None of that, Bree. What was freely given must now be earned. Have you done anything today while I was away?”

The blonde pouted, “We helped with the nuts and berries crew. We needed something that didn’t require a lot of movement. You left us walking funny and sore.”

I chuckled, and leaned in closer, “Very good, Bree. That deserves a reward.”

I kissed her slowly and thoroughly for a moment and then leaned back, “Did you work for longer than a few minutes?”

She eagerly nodded and leaned in for another kiss, but I stopped her, my hand going around her throat and my thumb caressing her jaw.

“How many ration packs did you put together today, Bree,” I questioned.

“I don’t know, but it was more than a few,” Bree breathlessly answered.

I picked up on her lie and squeezed her throat a bit. She gasped, and I could smell her arousal, making me internally smirk.

“Don’t lie to me, Bree,” I told her. “I don’t like liars, and you won’t like the punishment I give you if you lie to me again.”

Bree let out a small whimper, “Yes, Harlee. We just kinda moved the nuts and berries around to look like we were working. But it was _boring_ , Harlee.”

“Good girl,” I purred. “Thank you for telling me the truth. Now, I hate to tell you this, but survival is often boring, tedious, and hard work. If you’re not willing to put in the effort, you won’t survive. Now maybe, you’ll find someone to leech off, but it won’t be me. And… _pleasuring_ me doesn’t count. Do you understand, Bree?”

“Yes, Harlee,” Bree nodded.

“Good,” I replied and began kissing her.

“Oh, hey, Harlee,” a voice interrupted, and I let out a low growl.

Bree whimpered at the sound as I turned my head to face the interruption.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” Wells apologized quickly, seeing that he was interrupting us. “I’ll…just…”

I sighed, “What did you need, Wells?”

“Oh,” Wells sheepishly spoke, “Um, have, have you seen, um, Clarke? It’s just that I haven’t seen her since last night.”

I frowned a bit, “No, but I’ve been out of camp since morning with Octavia. Have you looked?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “No one’s seen her all day.”

My frown deepened, “That doesn’t sound like her. But then again, last night probably hit her hard. She really wanted to reach the Ark and stop them from doing something stupid.”

Wells nodded, frowning too, “Yeah, I’ve been worried about that too. Do you think she just needed some time to herself?”

I nodded, “That’s possible. Finn was upset too.”

“It’s just that I’m getting worried,” Wells said. “It’s already dark, and they’re not back yet. What if the Grounders got to them.”

I sighed, and Bree made a noise, but I quickly shushed her, “Let’s give them until the morning, Wells. If they’re not back by then, we’ll get some people together and go looking for them. Their trail’s already cold, and a few hours won’t change it. We can’t afford to lose our only healer.”

The boy looked relieved that I had come up with a solution and nodded, “Yeah, okay. That sounds great. Thanks, Harlee. And, um, sorry for interrupting. I’ll…I’ll…um, yeah. Bye.”

I chuckled in amusement as he quickly left before returning my attention to Bree. She was pouting, and I leaned in to capture her lower lip in my teeth, making her gasp.

I kissed away the pain before apologizing, “I am sorry, my dear. You may not like Clarke, but she is important to this camp. Her disappearance must be taken seriously. Now, where were we?”

We started kissing again while Bree wrapped her free arm around my waist, pulling me up against her. I was enjoying having her grind against me when I was violently pulled away from her. I instantly reacted, and soon I had my assailant up against the dropship with my knife pressed firmly against their throat.

I blinked a couple of times to get rid of the haze to see Bellamy seething underneath me.

“What the fuck, Bellamy,” I yelled, backing away from him. “I could have killed you.”

Instead of answering, he lunged at me, knocking us to the ground. He tried to overpower me, but I quickly reversed us and once more had him pinned. He struggled to get loose, but I had him in a painful grapple.

“Stop struggling,” I ordered. “If you don’t, you’re going to break something. Now, what the fuck is your problem?”

“Get off me, bitch,” Bellamy yelled.

“Not until you calm the fuck down,” I yelled back.

A crowd had gathered, and soon Octavia pushed her way forward.

“What the hell, Harlee,” Octavia cried. “Let Bellamy go.”

“Not until he tells me why he fucking attacked me,” I growled, glancing at her.

“Are you fucking serious?! Bellamy!”

“She almost got you killed,” Bellamy growled from below me.

“I did not,” I exclaimed loudly.

“What the hell are you talking about, Bell,” Octavia demanded.

“The Grounders,” Bellamy replied.

“Dammit,” I growled and looked between the siblings. “Octavia, you _knew_ he’d get upset once he learned you left the camp, did you have to tell him about seeing the Grounders too?”

“I didn’t tell him,” Octavia retorted. “I was talking with Harper and Monroe. Telling them what we did and what we saw.”

“Fucking hell,” I said in frustration, my anger rising. “Did you seriously not think he wouldn’t hear about this, Octavia?! Don’t you fucking _think_ before you speak?”

Octavia seemed to deflate as I yelled at her, and then I watched as she seemed to shake herself and stood up straighter, and looked me in the eyes, “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking about who might be listening. I was just so excited about what we did and what we saw that I had to share it. But it wasn’t something I should have had to keep secret. Neither one of us did anything wrong. You looked after me and made sure I stayed safe. But, I should have also remembered the way my brother acts. Especially after what he and his goons did to Atom.”

At that moment, I felt a touch of pride that she seemed to be taking what we talked about to heart. That she was standing up for herself and owning up to her mistakes. I felt some of my anger ease, but then Bellamy had to open his mouth, and it all came back.

“You did nothing wrong,” Bellamy yelled out. “You did nothing wrong?! You know you’re not allowed to leave! It’s too dangerous! You almost got eaten by a giant snake!”

“And Harlee almost got taken out by a freaking panther,” Octavia countered, glowering down at her brother. “But that didn’t stop her from going out the next day and hunting down a deer. At least she’s trying to teach me how to survive here. Unlike you! I’m not five years old anymore, Bellamy! I’m sixteen! I don’t need or want to be coddled like I can’t take care of myself!”

“You can’t,” Bellamy screamed.

“Because you won’t let me,” Octavia screamed back. “You’re not my father, Bellamy. So, stop trying to be.”

I felt like this argument had suddenly veered off into something that needed to be between the siblings so, I released Bellamy from the hold I had him in and stood up. Bellamy didn’t even notice, and I walked back towards my hut.

Bree caught up with me and tugged me to a stop. Wrapping her arms around my neck as I loosely grabbed her waist, she looked at me with concern in her eyes, “Babe, are you okay.”

I sighed, “I’m fine, Bree. They obviously have issues they need to work out, and I just happened to get caught in the middle of this one.”

She took a step closer, “You don’t look fine, Harlee.”

I smiled wanly at her, “Bree, I’m fine. Really. There are just some things I need to think about. And I’d like to do it alone. Okay?”

“Is there nothing I can say that’ll persuade you otherwise,” Bree coyly asked, beginning to play with the hairs on the back of my neck.

“No, Bree,” I replied sternly and reached up to remove her hands. I gently squeezed them, “But if I change my mind, I’ll come find you. Alright?”

Bree heavily sighed, “Alright, Harlee.”

“Thank you,” I replied, and then caught her chin before she turned away. I pulled her into a deep kiss before breaking it and whispering against her lips, “And thank you for making sure that I was okay. I appreciate it.”

Then I simply turned and walked away. When I reached the hut, I slid down the wall and faced the camp. Something told me that I needed to keep an eye out and that sleep wouldn’t be coming any time soon. I still felt residual anger bubbling through my veins. I needed to figure out why so that I didn’t lose my focus. So, I settled myself and looked inward while staying aware of what was going on around me.

It took me a few minutes of deep breathing to find the root of my anger, but I eventually found the cause. I was angry at myself. I was letting myself get drawn in. Getting attached. I hadn’t even been here for three days, and I was beginning to forget my mission. I forgot to be objective. But, they were so damn _helpless_. Like they were just looking for a steady but firm hand to guide them. And they were _scared_. Yeah, they acted tough or like nothing bothered them, but it was all an act. Underneath, they were simply scared children. And what do you usually do with scared children? You take them in and make them feel safe. But I couldn’t do that. I shouldn’t want to do that. And that’s why I was angry at myself.

I felt the wall behind me shake, and a grunt as one of the twins sat on the opposite side of me. I propped my knees up and laid my arms against them, and waited for them to speak.

“I heard you nearly got caught by Shallow Valley,” Avil quietly spoke up.

“ _Sha_ ,” I replied. “I got distracted.”

“Like you did last night, boss,” Avil asked.

I snorted, “No, Av, I got distracted by an eager student. Not all of them are proving to be completely useless. Untrained, but not useless.”

Avil grunted as he shifted, “So, they’re worth keeping around?”

I rolled my head, “That I don’t know. The thing that keeps running in my head is that these are children, Av. Scared children. Thrown away because their leaders didn’t think they were worth saving. _Expendable_. But they’re also dangerous. Their knowledge and what they are used to makes them dangerous. I’m not sure the clans will ever be able to accept them if _Heda_ allows them to stay.”

“What if we offered them a place,” Avil hesitantly asked.

I sighed and buried my head in my arms for a long moment before looking up and back at the camp, “The clans wouldn’t accept that either. Not without learning the truth. And until the Mountain is taken care of, it’s a risk I can’t take. I have to think of our people, Av. Their safety comes first. As much as I am beginning to want to help them, our people and our mission need to be my priority.”

“So, what do we do,” Avil asked.

I groaned and laid my head against the wall, “I can only keep with what I have been. Testing them and see what they do. See what they respond to best.”

“Do we have time for you to be able to determine that, boss,” Avil asked.

“That depends,” I replied, looking back out at the camp as I thought. “If we only had to worry about _Trikru_ , I would say we have a good two moons. Before harvest. But it mostly depends on how much pressure _Heda_ receives from the Ambassadors.”

“And the Ambassadors are not known for their patience,” Avil spoke.

I shook my head, “No, they are not. If _Heda_ takes too long, they may view it as weakness.”

Avil scoffed, and I smiled at the sound, “Get some rest, Avil. Only one of us should lose their sleep tonight, and I, for one, will not be getting any tonight.”

“Boss. _Lee_ ,” Avil gently chided.

“My mind is busy, Av,” I replied. 

“Alright,” Avil sighed. “You’ll wake me…”

“If needed,” I finished, softly smiling at his concern. “Use the bedroll. No one will bother us.”

“ _Sha_ , boss,” Avil replied.

I felt him get up and heard him settle on the bedroll. I sighed and turned my gaze to the night sky, drawn to it, and watched as the stars blinked in their silent language.

I let my mind go blank, finding peace in the Heavens above. The sounds of the camp slowly quieting down for the night. I was left alone, and I was more than okay with that.

What had to be hours later, judging by the numbness in my ass and legs, a streak in the sky drew my eyes. A shooting star, I thought to myself. Until it grew brighter instead of dimmer. I sat up straighter as I watched it. I barely noticed that the noise in the camp was growing louder as they saw the object too.

The moment I saw it jerk, I knew. I knew that it was something important. And I knew I needed to get to it as quickly as I could. I lurched to my feet, nearly falling over the minute I stood up. Cursing the numbness, I powered through and stumbled into the hut, waking Avil in the process.

“Something fell from the sky, Av,” I said as I started to gather things. “The Sky Fallen sound as if they know what it is. We need to investigate it.”

“ _Sha_ , boss,” Avil replied, getting up. “I am ready.”

I grinned at him, “I know. Let’s go.”

I slung my bag over my shoulders and headed out the hidden entrance. Avil right behind me. Climbing into the trees, we made our way to where the crowd of Sky Fallen had gathered. I listened to their speculations for a minute. I found out it was something called a pod that could carry things inside. Once I learned that, we headed in the direction it had landed. Moving through the trees quickly, my instinct moving me forward with an urgent need.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your daily dose my gorgeous readers. The time is finally here. Raven's arrival.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind

We knew we were nearing the sight of the crash by the sound of dying fires. Slowing down, we cautiously approached, stopping at the remains of the tree line. The pod had landed on the edge of a stream, the rocks beneath it cracked and steaming. It lay smoking but looked intact. I tilted my head in curiosity as my eyes raked over the pod. It somehow appeared older than the artifact in the _Fleimkepa’s_ temple. I wondered how that could be possible but shook it off when Avil touched my arm.

“ _Moba_ , Av,” I said, shaking myself again.

“S’alright, boss,” Avil replied, smiling understandably. 

I shifted a bit as I peered back down at the pod, biting my lip in thought. My instinct wanted me to jump down this tree and head straight to the pod regardless of possible danger. But, I knew I couldn’t do that. I had to hold myself back and let someone else place themselves in potential danger. It was one aspect of being a leader I disliked. Asking people to put themselves in danger instead of myself. I never thought of myself as being more important than my people. Rather merely a person that had more influence and power to make things better for them. Realizing that I was beginning to get lost in my head again. I sighed and shifted back, looking over at Avil.

“Go on,” I told Avil. “Make sure that it’s safe for me. I know you’re itching to do something besides follow me around.”

Avil grinned, and patted me on the knee, “Don’t worry, boss. You still get to play hero to the camp if it’s something good.”

I rolled my eyes, “I’m not trying to play hero, Av. You know that I’d rather place myself in danger than risk any of you.”

Avil’s face softened, and he reached to lay a hand on my shoulder, “I know, Lee. And that’s one reason why we love you and serve you loyally. You don’t ask us to do anything that you wouldn’t do yourself.”

I reached up and patted his hand, smiling warmly at him, “Thank you for saying that, Av. And now that we’ve had our moment, how ‘bout you go poke the small metal thing with your sword and see if it does anything.”

Avil laughed, squeezed my shoulder, and started deftly dropping down the tree, “Just for that, I think I will poke the small metal thing with my sword.”

I laughed in return, shaking my head in amusement, “Only you, Av. Only you.”

I watched over Avil while keeping an ear to the forest. Making sure we weren’t set upon before we could switch places. The forest had gone eerily quiet, thanks to the pod’s crash. The animals scurrying to safety. Not even the sounds of burning fires reached my ears. However, the smell of burnt wood and fuel wafted over the slight breeze. For now, only silence remained making it easier for me to hear further away.

Avil did, in fact, poke the pod with his sword, somewhat exaggeratedly too. I laughed, knowing it was for my benefit and his way of letting me know that he heard what I didn’t say. That I take his safety seriously and would hate to see him hurt. When he opened the hatch, though, I wanted to take back my words and curse him. The sound of metal screeching hurt my sensitive hearing. It was worse than nails on slate.

I rubbed my ears to rid them of the sound as Avil partially crawled inside and poked around for a few minutes. When he came back out, I was already climbing down. I landed with a soft thud in a crouch and then quickly made my way over to him and the pod.

“There’s a girl in a suit, unmoving,” Avil told me when I joined him. “And a radio sending out a repeating message. Not much else.”

I nodded, “ _Mochof_ , Av. Head back into the trees while I make sure this girl is alive. If she is, we don’t need her to start talking about how I’m ‘friends’ with a Grounder. That’s only going to stir up trouble and questions I don’t want to answer yet.”

Avil bowed his head, “ _Sha_ , boss. Um, what are we going to do about the radio? It’s obviously meant for them to communicate with their people still in the Sky. Do we let them still believe that they can’t, or do we risk them bringing the rest of their people down?”

“I think I’ll see what this girl says if she’s alive,” I replied, thinking. “If there’s an immediate threat to our people or theirs, I’ll act accordingly. Even if it’s only delaying their communication.”

Avil nodded, “And that’s why you’re the boss, boss.”

I shoved him lightly, grinning, “Go on, Av. Get your ass in that tree before I sic Mikal on you.”

Avil looked horrified and started backing away, “No, anything but that rugrat, boss. That boy would make a statue’s ears bleed with how much he talks.”

I laughed, “Exactly. So, get ye gone before I make true on my threat.”

“I’m going. I’m going,” Avil replied, scrambling back into the trees.

I shook my head in amusement, and still smiling, I turned my attention to the pod and the girl inside.

“Alright,” I said to myself. “Let’s see if this girl survived the landing.”

I crawled onto the empty seat next to the girl strapped in. I leaned over to examine how the helmet attached to the suit. Giving a small cry of triumph when I found the latches. I undid them and eased the helmet off the girl. The moment I did, I thought the Gods or Spirits had lost one of their own. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Tanned, flawless skin. Deep brown hair pulled into a tail. I tentatively reached out and checked her pulse and breathing. Letting out a small sigh of relief to feel both slow and steady. The girl was only knocked out.

I ran the back of my finger delicately over her features, wonder filling me at its smoothness. She let out a soft sigh at my touch, and I felt a flutter in my stomach at the sound. I took a calming breath and gently cupped her chin to turn her face towards me. The rest of her face was both delicate and strong from her straight and narrow nose to her lips that I found myself wanting to taste. I had never reacted this strongly to a beautiful face before as my heart began to beat faster. I desperately wanted to lean forward and kiss her awake, but I held myself back with an intensity that belied my more primal urges.

Tearing my gaze away from those lips of hers, I found blood slowly seeping down the side of her face. I followed it with my eyes to a small gash near her hairline. I reasoned she must have banged her head against the helmet upon impact or maybe during reentry. My memory of those particular lessons coming forward to supply theories.

I switched hands and began gently stroking her face, tenderly calling for her to wake. After a few moments, I was gifted with the sounds of her softly moaning, and her eyes were beginning to flutter. I kept my motions and voice soft, hoping not to startle her before she could gather her wits.

Beautiful and deep brown eyes fluttered open, and I was mesmerized by their depths. For a dozen heartbeats, neither one of us blinked, and I think I could have lived off this moment for years.

“Did I die,” the girl whispered, and I felt myself twitch at the sound. “Or am I dreaming ‘cuz you’re the hottest woman I’ve ever seen?”

I chuckled and smirked, seeing her eyes close at the sound, “Funny, I was wondering the same thing. But, no, you are neither dead nor dreaming. You survived landing on Earth. Welcome home.”

The girl’s eyes opened in shock, “I made it? I’m on the ground?”

My smirked turned into a genuine smile, “Yes, and yes.”

I realized that I was still holding her face and stroking it and made myself drop my hands. She seemed to wilt a little at the loss, but I chose to ignore it.

I leaned back into the seat and gestured to the pod around us, “So, what makes a beautiful girl like you strap herself into an ancient pod and come crashing down?”

The girl instantly blushed, “We…I was sent because your bands stopped working. And the Council—SHIT! The Council’s getting ready to cull three hundred people! I need to get in contact…is the radio still here?”

I nodded and moved a bit so she could see that it was still there. I made a split-second decision to help her and handed the mic over. She immediately pulled off her gloves to take the mic, but I stopped her before she could speak into it.

“I need to tell you some things first,” I told her, looking at her seriously.

“What things,” she asked. 

“The main thing is that everyone is mostly still alive,” I told her. “We’ve only lost five. Two when we landed and three due to an acid fog that comes from Mount Weather.”

“Are any of them Clarke Griffin or Wells Jaha,” the girl asked.

I shook my head, “No, they are very much alive. At least, they were the last time I saw them. Which in Clarke’s case was about a day ago. The second, and this is the biggest. We’re not alone here. There’s an entire civilization of people. Ancestors of those who survived the bombs. We landed in their territory, and for some reason, they prevented a group from reaching Mount Weather. We don’t know why. Since then, they’ve been observing us. Your arrival may change that.”

The girl bit her lip in worry, “Do you think they’ll attack?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know, but to stay on the safe side, we need to get you back to camp quickly. So, this radio conversation will have to be short and sweet. Okay?”

The girl nodded, “Got it. Is there anything else?”

I sighed, “Yeah, not everyone is going to be thrilled that you contacted the Ark. Specifically, the Council. That includes me, but I’m ignoring my distaste because innocent lives are in immediate danger. Otherwise, I’d tell you to wait until we got it back to camp and could discuss it with everyone.”

“Who knew? An honest criminal with a heart,” the girl replied, shaking her head lightly in amusement.

“Not all of our crimes were done with malicious intent,” I said, looking at her for understanding. “But the Council refuses to see the reason behind them and only focuses on maintaining their control.”

“Trust me, I know,” the girl replied, and I could see a story behind her words, but ignored it for a better time. “Okay. Let me get in contact, and we can go.”

I nodded and moved to leave, but she grabbed onto me. I looked back in confusion, and she said, “They might want proof and want to speak to you.”

I sighed but nodded anyway while my mind was trying to figure out how to keep the Council from getting suspicious. Now, I really wished I had known the girl’s name I had replaced. I could only hope they didn’t want it or that I could avoid giving it.

The girl took a steadying breath and began to speak into the mic, pausing long enough to listen for a voice on the other end. It took a few tries, but eventually, someone answered.

“This is Ark Medical, who am I speaking to,” a young male’s voice responded to the girl’s call.

“This is Raven Reyes from Mecha,” the girl, no, Raven, replied. “I’m calling from the ground. I repeat, I landed, and the ground is survivable. I need to get in contact with Abby Griffin. Doctor Abby Griffin.”

“That’s not possible,” the man’s voice said. “Doctor Griffin has been arrested. I need you to stay on the line while I contact the Council.”

Both of us sighed in resignation, but Raven replied, “Alright, but make it quick. I’m in the middle of the forest with one of the hundred. She tells me it’s not exactly safe.”

“I’ll be as quick as I can, Raven,” the man said. “Just hang in there.”

Then static filled the air, and she sagged in her seat.

I looked over at her, “I think you have time enough to get unstrapped and out of your suit.”

She looked at me and then down at herself, “Yeah, I can feel myself starting to sweat in this suit.”

I stepped out of the pod as she began unbuckling and took a moment to send hand signs towards the trees. Soon enough, Raven was joining me outside, and I smiled as she looked around in awe.

“My God, it’s beautiful,” Raven said as she spun around to take it all in.

“It is,” I replied, but I was no longer seeing the forest around me. I was looking intently at Raven.

She stopped her spinning and noticed that I was staring.

She smirked and asked, “See something you like, stranger?”

I took an instinctive step forward and dropped my voice, “Yes, I do.”

“You’re not a shy one, are you,” Raven said, smirking as she began to remove the suit.

“I know what I like or don’t like, and I’m not afraid to voice it,” I replied, watching her. “And I do like what I am seeing.”

Raven laughed and then stumbled as she tried to kick the suit off her feet. I was immediately at her side, grabbing onto her to keep from falling. She had grabbed on to me too, one hand clutching my arm, and the other splayed across my stomach. Raven looked at me in surprise before removing the last of the suit.

Raven kept her hands on me, gliding the one across my stomach, making us both feel each muscle I had.

“Damn,” Raven muttered. “Not only are you hot, but you’ve got muscles too. Earth has done you good.”

I chuckled, and she bit her lip at the vibration it carried over my stomach, “It doesn’t seem like the Ark was that bad on you. You’re by far the most gorgeous girl I’ve seen.”

Raven looked up at me in surprise, “Well, that’s not saying much considering that I’m the first new face you’ve seen in two weeks.”

I smiled down at her, “I take it that you’ve never met Clarke yet because, until you, she was by far the fairest of them all.”

Raven laughed, “I can’t believe you just went there.”

“When you see her, you’ll understand,” I replied, grinning. I tilted my head slightly, hearing the static change on the radio, “I think they’re about to call you.”

Raven looked confused, and then another man’s voice called out over the radio. She looked at me for a second and then walked back to the pod, reaching in to grab the mic.

“This is Raven Reyes,” Raven said into the mic. “The landing was successful. I’m on the ground.”

“And the hundred,” the man demanded.

“All alive except for five,” Raven replied, rolling her eyes at the man’s tone.

“Who,” the man demanded once more, and Raven looked over at me in question.

I sighed and held out my hand. Raven handed it over gratefully, and I spoke into it, “Two died when we landed. No one caught their names. Then Atom, Trina, and Pascal were caught in an acid fog that comes from the direction Mount Weather. There was no way to save them. One has gone missing. A young girl by the name of Charlotte. We don’t know if she’s dead or alive.”

“With whom am I speaking with,” the man demanded.

“It doesn’t matter since you won’t remember anyway,” I replied, my voice going cold. “Here’s what you need to know for now. Everyone’s alive, including Wells and Clarke, except for those five. The ground is survivable. Though primitive. The biggest news is that there are people here. An entire civilization that has survived since the bombs. They prevented us from going to Mount Weather and since then have only observed us. We landed in their territory, which means they most likely view us as an invading force. With Raven’s arrival, we don’t know if anything will change, but it might. So, if you plan on coming down, I’d start thinking of ways to go about it peacefully unless you want a war as soon as you step out to breathe the fresh air.”

“Now, see here, young lady,” the man angrily retorted.

“No, you see here,” I replied, my voice growing colder. “We’ve survived on the ground for two weeks, without supplies. You called us expendable, remember? We’ve proven that we’re not. The only reason we’re talking at all is that you’re planning on murdering three hundred people to keep yourselves alive. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to get Raven back to camp. She has a head injury that needs to be checked out. If and when we contact you again, someone else can deal with you.”

Before the man could speak, I found the on/off switch and flicked it off. I sagged into the side of the pod as Raven looked at me in shock.

When she seemed to have recovered, she said, “You do realize that you probably just pissed off Jaha with that speech, don’t you?”

I looked at her, “Is that who I was talking to? Damn, no wonder no one here likes him. He sounds like a complete asshole.”

Raven laughed, “How did you not know? And just FYI, I don’t disagree with you. He is an asshole.”

I shrugged, “The only people I ever saw were my parents and the guards. I never saw anyone else while I was in solitary. So, do you need anything to disconnect the radio?”

Raven picked up that I didn’t want to talk about a past I did not have, so she accepted the change, “No, I’ve got some tools on me. Just give me like five minutes to unhook the radio, and we are good to go.”

“Great,” I replied. “Then, after that, we can take care of that wound on your head.”

Raven reached up and touched her head, wincing as she did, “You know, I almost forgot about that until you reminded me.”

Smirking, I replied, “I do tend to make women forget simple things.”

Raven choked out a laugh, pausing to look at me, “Damn, you’re really full of it, aren’t you?”

I shrugged, “There’s only one way to find out.”

Raven shook her head and went back to disconnecting the radio, “Not gonna happen, Casanova. I have a boyfriend.”

I sniffed, while internally, I screamed at the Gods of the unfairness, “Pity. I hope he’s smart enough to keep you happy, or he might just find himself on the wrong end of my knife.”

“Woah, down girl,” Raven replied, shocked. “I can take care of myself. And besides, Finn loves me. He’d never do anything to hurt me.”

I looked at her wide-eyed at the mention of the boy. The boy I was sure had been pursuing Clarke since they arrived. And the boy I was sure had spent the last day with Clarke. I was at a complete loss if I should say anything about what I knew or remain silent and let the drama unfold. Because if I had learned anything just from this interaction, the Skai goufas needed Raven and Clarke to be on the same side.

“So, Casanova,” Raven spoke up, though her voice was slightly strained as she was bent awkwardly underneath the radio, “Do you have a name or what?”

I shoved my thoughts and worries to the side to answer her, “It’s Harlee, but my friends call me Lee.”

“Aw, is that your way of saying you want to be my friend,” Raven asked as she unhooked the final wire.

“It’s my way of saying that if you ever need someone, I’ll be there,” I replied honestly. “Life here isn’t what we expected. And things aren’t always as straightforward as they seem. So, if you ever need to get out of camp, I know a few places.”

“If it’s a bar, I’m there,” Raven joked as she climbed out of the pod with the radio in hand.

I laughed and unslung my bag. I began to dig in it to pull out some bandages and the water pouch before holding it open for her to place the radio, “Sadly, there’s no bar. For that, we may have to become friends with the Grounders or settle for Monty’s moonshine. And let me tell you, the moonshine will probably kill you before the Grounders do.”

Raven laughed as she placed the radio in the bag, “Duly noted.”

I slung the bag back over my shoulders and motioned for Raven to take a seat on a rock. I offered her the water pouch, which she gratefully took while I went to the stream and soaked the bandage. I came back to find the water gone.

I raised a brow at the empty pouch, and Raven just gave me an aggrieved look, “What? I was thirsty. Falling to your uncertain death thousands of miles at a speed that should kill you makes a girl thirsty.”

I smirked as I knelt in front of her and gently took her head in my hand. I began cleaning up the blood as I said, “I said nothing, Raven. Though I got to say, I’d never have the courage to do what you did. I’d never willingly step into something over three hundred years old and trust that it would survive. No matter how well it’s put together. You must really care for Finn to risk your life like that.”

“He saved my life,” Raven explained. “When my mom would use my rations to get drunk, he’d be there sharing his own. Finn has always been there for me. Do anything for me. And I’d do the same. I love him.”

I softly smiled at her, “Finn’s a real lucky guy then. So, Raven Reyes of Mecha, what is it that you do or did on the Ark?”

“I was the youngest zero-G Mechanic,” Raven proudly replied. “I’d go out of the Ark and repair it from the outside.”

I looked at her, impressed, “So, a touch of danger is nothing new to you then. That makes so much more sense on why you’d strap yourself into that piece of metal. What is that Old World name…adrenaline junkie. That’s what you are. The rush of putting your life on the line while trusting that you have the skills and tools necessary to stay alive.”

“Huh, I’ve never thought about it that way,” Raven thoughtfully replied. “I was always tinkering with things. Taking them apart and putting them back together. And I’ve always dreamed of spacewalking. Being a zero-G mech allowed me to live my dream while doing something that I’m good at.”

I smiled, “Then you are one of the few lucky ones, Raven. You may not be able to spacewalk anymore, but this world can give you the next best thing.”

“And what’s that,” Raven curiously asked.

“Swimming or floating in a river, or lake, or even the ocean,” I replied, grinning. “Though the lake is the closest with not much of a current or tide.”

“I don’t know how to swim,” Raven said.

“None of us do, but who’s to say that we can’t learn,” I replied and released her head now that I was done. “There. You’re all cleaned up, and that gash doesn’t look too bad. How’s your head feel?”

“It hurts a bit, but not too bad,” she said.

I nodded, “That’s good. Is your vision okay? No dizziness, blurry vision, dark spots?”

“No,” Raven replied. “What are you, some kind of doctor?”

I shook my head, “No, but I’ve read a lot and have knocked myself around a few times exploring. I know how to treat basic things and what to look for, but if you need real healing, Clarke’s the one to go to.”

“I’ll remember that,” she said quietly as we sat there staring at one another.

Then Avil’s call and the sound of something moving through the brush alerted me. I snapped my head in the direction of the sounds and stood up. My hand going to the knife at the small of my back as I unconsciously moved in front of Raven. We were no longer alone.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this update is late, but this proved to be the difficult chapter. I knew that there were two things happening in this chapter. I could get to the first one easily, but the second proved way more difficult than I anticipated. The chapter had started from Harlee's POV but when I got to the second half, I found myself going away from a direct cause. So, I changed it to Raven's POV and it worked out so much better.
> 
> And before I forget, the italics are Raven's internal monologue.
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy it and as always, comments are welcome.
> 
> And remember be kind to yourself and others during this difficult period in our lives.

**Raven POV**

The instant change in Harlee’s demeanor was a little scary; I had to admit. And a tad hot, which I refuse to. She looked utterly relaxed, crouched in front of me, elbows resting on her thighs, hands dangling loosely, and a natural smile on her lips. Lips that had a bottom lip that begged to be bitten.

_Stop thinking about her lips_ , I ordered myself, tearing my gaze from them.

I did, just in time to see her head snap towards the forest and stand. Harlee’s body slightly tensing as she blocked my view, revealing a tight ass in form-fitting pants. I had thought her unarmed, but her hand moving to rest just above that gods-be-damned ass…

_Seriously, Rae. Stop_ , I scolded myself.

…revealed a large hunting knife sheathed at the small of her back. Harlee’s hand gripped the knife handle firmly as I watched her head tilt slightly. Almost as if she were listening to something that I couldn’t hear.

I stood up and moved to her, “What is it?”

Harlee glanced at me before looking back at the forest, “Someone’s coming.”

“I don’t hear anything,” I said, feeling fear starting to creep up my spine.

Harlee sighed, “Well, I do” -grabbing my hand and tugging me back to the pod- “and I need you to get back in the pod.”

I tugged my hand free and stopped, glaring at her, “Wait a minute. What if it’s someone from your camp? What if it’s Finn?”

I turned to walk towards the forest, a need to find Finn building in my chest, but I was stopped when Harlee tugged me back, spinning me around to face her.

Grabbing my shoulders to hold me in place, “You can’t just go tearing into the woods, Raven. It’s not safe. I don’t know who’s heading this way, and that’s the problem. There are people at camp that don’t want the Ark to come down. Some of them are dangerous. They will do anything to get this radio. Then there are the Grounders to consider. Your arrival has disrupted whatever we have going on between us. That’s why I want you and this radio back in the pod until I can find out if it’s safe or not.”

“What about you?”

Harlee smirked, “I can hold my own if it comes to it. But my concern is your safety so, please, for my peace of mind. Can you please get back in the pod?”

I sighed, relenting, “Fine, but the moment it’s safe…”

“I’ll get you,” she promised as a hand slid down my arm until it entwined with mine.

Then she was tugging me back to the pod. I followed, glancing over my shoulder every few steps, somewhat expecting to see someone burst through the trees with murder in their eyes. Harlee let my hand go, and I instantly missed the warmth while scolding myself once more. I really needed to get over this insta-crush on Harlee. It was ridiculous and unneeded. I had Finn. I love _Finn_.

Harlee bent, grabbing my suit and tossing it into the pod before unslinging her bag and throwing it, albeit more gently, after. She bent over again, revealing she had a second knife tucked into her boot.

Shocked seeing the second knife, I blurted, “Just how many knives do you have on you?”

Harlee’s chuckle sent my stomach fluttering, and “I love Finn” mantra started up in my head again.

“Just the two,” she replied, interrupting my inner panicked mantra. Harlee held it out to me, handle first, “Here. Just in case.”

I took it and immediately appreciated the weight of it. It felt solid and made me feel safer to have it on me.

“How will you let me know it’s safe?”

“I’ll knock three times and then nine times,” Harlee replied after a moment. “Those are two of my three favorite numbers. Significant to me.”

“Anything else?”

“Two things. If nobody comes for you after a couple of hours, it’ll most likely be safe to leave. The camp is an hour away southeast of here” -she pointed in the direction- “But most importantly, if this hatch opens without those knocks, you need to be prepared to use that knife. Don’t think about it. Just stab first and fast. Then run back to camp. Got it?”

“Got it,” I replied and started to climb back into the pod, but Harlee stopped me once again.

Before I knew what was happening, I was up against the pod, and Harlee was kissing me. I couldn’t form a coherent thought the moment I felt her lips against mine. I gasped in shock, and Harlee deepened the kiss. I couldn’t help myself, and I kissed her back. My hands were reaching up to cup her face with a mind of their own. A small part of my brain registered that I had never been kissed so thoroughly, so completely in my lifetime. And I did not want it to stop, but it eventually did. Our bodies demanding oxygen broke the exquisite kiss.

I hadn’t realized that my eyes had closed, but I felt Harlee lay her head against mine as a thumb brushed almost lovingly over my kiss swollen lips. When she spoke, her voice was deeper and sultrier than before. Sending shivers and heat across my body.

“If this is the only chance I get to have, I had to take it. I had to know your taste, _Reivon_. My Valkyrie,” she whispered, her breath hot against my skin.

I opened my eyes to see pools of black looking back. I nearly drowned, staring into their depths. I took a shaky breath and then another. I was going to say something, but her head snapped to look over her shoulder and let out a curse.

She turned back to me, “You need to get in the pod, Raven. They’re close.”

“We’re talking about this when this is over,” I replied, glaring up at her. “You can’t just go kissing people.”

Harlee smirked, “I have been warned about that before, but they stop complaining soon enough.”

“Jesus, you are full of it, Casanova,” I huffed and pushed her lightly away so that I could move. Getting into the pod, I turned to look at her, feeling suddenly nervous, “You’ll knock when it’s safe.”

Harlee nodded, her hands on the hatch, “Three then nine. But whatever happens, I swear to you that you will be safe. And I rarely, if ever, break my promises, my Valkyrie.”

Our gazes held until the hatch blocked our view of each other. Then the hatch was closed, and the lock shut with a thud. I sagged in the seat, leaned my head against it, and tried to figure out what the fuck was going on with me.

I had never felt such a strong reaction toward anybody before. Not even Finn. I felt her even before I was fully conscious. Her warm hands were holding and gently stroking my face. Her voice. God, her voice was otherworldly, and _damn_ did it do things to me. Then I opened my eyes, and for a solid minute, I thought I hadn’t survived the landing. Because there was no way someone, as beautiful has Harlee, could exist in real life. Not and be mere inches away from me. I wasn’t _that_ lucky. Or so I thought, but she ended up being real. Very real and, holy fucking hell, very solid. Her fucking abs were a wall of muscle. Her shirt showing every inch of muscle on her like a second skin. Harlee was surely a gift of the gods, and what was utterly ridiculous, she knew it too.

That fucking smirk of hers. I wanted to slap it and kiss it off simultaneously. I mean, it was ridiculous. 

I wanted to know how anyone could fucking function around that woman. Was anyone even capable of resisting her when she dropped that voice and poured out the charm? Because the only thing that saved me from throwing myself at her was reminding myself that I was with Finn and loved him. Loved him with my entire heart.

I groaned lightly into the silent pod and shook my head to clear my thoughts of Harlee. The reason I had to be reacting so strongly was because of just straight-up physical attraction. That it had been a few months since I’d done anything with Finn and everything I was feeling was because of that reason. And that reason alone. It didn’t mean anything. I certainly had the willpower to resist the dark-haired, dark-eyed goddess that was Harlee. Because I was Raven fucking Reyes, and I can do anything I put my mind to.

I could ignore her hotness. I could ignore that I felt safe near her. I could ignore her engaging conversation. I could and would ignore everything that was Harlee. Yeah, I could do that. Right?

I groaned again and rubbed my face, wincing as I touched the gash on my head. Somehow, I’d forgotten about that. And the way Harlee gently cleaned it.

“Okay, stop,” I spoke out loud. “This is getting ridiculous. Harlee is just a woman. It’s been months since I did anything with Finn. It’s just leftover adrenaline from the launch and euphoria finding out I survived. That’s all this is. It’ll pass.”

To occupy myself, and distract myself from Harlee, I looked around, and Harlee’s bag caught my attention. I pulled it onto my lap, examining it. It was a rather nice waterproofed canvas bag. Something I know we didn’t have on the Ark. Not anymore after being in space for centuries. I idly wondered where she’d found it as I opened it up.

I removed the radio and set it on the other seat, nestled safely against the suit. I pulled out the empty water pouch, a few more bandages, and a small bag with a drawstring. I pulled it open, and a sweet and spicy scent wafted out. Intrigued, I shook some out to find something that looked like dried food. The smell made my mouth water, and I tentatively took a bite out of it. The flavor burst across my tongue, and I moaned at the same time as I chewed the tough food. I couldn’t help myself, the moment it hit my mouth, I realized I was hungry. I ate the entire bag and whined when I realized it was empty. I also complained, realizing that I had already drunk all the water to wash the remnants down.

Pouting that the food was gone, I went back to taking everything out of Harlee’s bag. Yes, I know I was snooping, but come on. I was stuck in a pod with nothing to do. I was bored.

I pulled out another drawstring pouch. This one full of what looked like nuts and small dried things. Sniffing them, they seemed to have a sweet smell, but I didn’t try them. They just seemed too weird to eat. Next came a thing of folded leather with a strip of leather wrapped around it. Opening it up, were sleeves filled with little vials of different colors. I examined one but saw nothing to identify what it was on the vial. There were also a couple of hooked needles and a small spool of smooth thread. Lastly, there was a little thin blade in a sleeve the length of the leather. It wasn’t until I saw a familiar shaped cross burnt into the leather that I figured out what I was holding. It was a medkit. A primitive-looking medkit with natural medicinal plant extracts. It made me question how Harlee had come by this because there was no way anybody on the Ark knew how to use medicinal plants.

My confusion grew when I pulled out a stoppered ceramic bowl thing. Pulling the stopper out, a fresh and slightly earthy smell wafted up. Looking inside, it appeared to be some kind of paste. I cautiously dipped a finger into the paste. It was cool to the touch, and after a moment, there was a slight tingling feeling that was soothing. I wondered what it was for but set it aside to question Harlee about later.

The last thing I pulled out was a coil of rope. I didn’t unravel it but figured there were roughly a few feet of it. As I sat there and stared at everything, I realized that Harlee came prepared. She had food, water, medicine, bandages, and rope. Then there were the knives she had. What it all told me was that there was more to Harlee than what everyone saw on the surface. And let’s face it, the surface was quite distracting. 

I was starting to think that maybe that was on purpose. Harlee’s beauty made people underestimate her because you wouldn’t expect someone like her to know how to do much of anything. You’d think Harlee would have relied on her looks to get people to do things for her. And that maybe there wasn’t a brain underneath that gorgeous exterior. But just talking for a few minutes with her, I could tell she was intelligent. Harlee missed nothing. And that made Harlee dangerous. Or the perfect person to have on your side.

I sighed and started putting everything back. As I did, I once more focused on Harlee. Harlee was a mystery. She was alluring and captivating, but it was evident that there was more to her. There was something hidden beneath the surface. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to know what it was. Just who exactly was Harlee.

I was pulled abruptly from my thoughts by a massive, shuddering thud against the side of the pod. The sound made me jump, and I gripped Harlee’s knife tighter. I hid Harlee’s bag underneath my suit before turning to face the door. My heart rate and breathing skyrocketing as another thud sounded. I situated myself so that if I had to lunge, I wouldn’t fall flat on my face. Then I waited and prayed that I would hear Harlee’s knocks.

It felt like an eternity before I heard the sound I had been dreading. The lock disengaging without the knocks first. I mentally pumped myself up, preparing to do precisely what Harlee had told me to do. Stab and run. I kept telling myself that. Stab and run. Stab and run.

The moment I saw legs, I knew it wasn’t Harlee. The hatch slowly opened as fingers hooked underneath the lip to pull it up. The moment the hatch was fully open, we both froze. A part of my brain took in that it was a tall, lanky guy with shaggy dark hair. In one hand, he held a knife with something black dripping from it. Then time seemed to unfreeze. At the same time he reached in to grab me, I lunged forward with the knife aimed directly for him. We connected and fell out of the pod. His head hitting the hatch as I felt the knife sink in somewhere. The guy yelled out in pain, followed by an oomph as we landed on the ground. I scrambled to my feet, pulling the knife with me, and eliciting another yell from the guy. 

Then I made _the_ mistake. I remembered the radio and Harlee’s words. Still clutching the knife, I turned back to grab the bag. Just as my fingers reached a strap, I felt myself being dragged backward. I landed on my back with a groan and screamed when a foot stomped on my wrist. I let go of the knife that had been in my hand. Before I could do anything, the foot connected with my side. I cried out again and curled into myself. I felt the foot connect again and felt something pop. I thought for sure that another kick was coming, but it never did.

Instead, there was a sickening wet crack and the sound of two bodies falling to the ground. I opened my eyes, and through tears of pain, I saw the guy and Harlee lying on the ground. The guy wasn’t moving, and I could see blood beginning to seep out of his hairline. Harlee was trying to get up, but couldn’t do more than prop herself up on her arms. I watched as she crawled over to me. I reached out for her, and she grabbed my hand as she dragged herself the rest of the way across.

“Raven, are you okay,” Harlee asked, her eyes wildly roaming over me.

I whimpered in pain then swallowed it down to answer, “I think he might have cracked a rib. I felt something pop in my chest.”

“Shit,” she cried, albeit weakly, and her eyes turned absolutely murderous, making me shiver in fear. “I’m so, so sorry, Raven. Bellamy blindsided me. I should have been more careful. I’m so sorry.”

Then the strangest thing I’d ever witnessed happened. Harlee started to cry. Instinctively, I pulled Harlee to me, wrapping my arms around her and trying to get her to stop crying.

“I swore that you’d be safe. I broke my promise. I’m sorry,” she cried weakly.

“Shh. It’s okay. You kept your promise. I’m safe. You kept me safe. You stopped him,” I soothed.

I felt something seep into my clothes, and I moved my arm to see it coated in something black.

“Harlee, please tell me this is from a busted can of oil you kept somewhere on you.”

Harlee sniffed, “It’s not. Its blood. My blood.”

Alarmed, I laid her down and finally saw what I had missed. Harlee was clutching her stomach.

“This is a lot of blood, Harlee.”

“I know,” she replied, her voice much weaker now.

“Hey,” I said, grabbing her chin to look at me. “You don’t get to give up, Harlee. We have a lot of shit to talk about still. And I want that conversation, so you’re not going to die on me. Got it?”

Harlee smiled softly, “Got it. Then you need my bag. There’s a leather pouch in there. We need the pouch.”

Knowing what she was talking about it, I got to my feet slower than I wanted. My chest was starting to hurt, thanks to the asshole on the ground. I went quickly to the pod and pulled the bag out. Opening it and rifling through it to get the pouch. I found it and pulled out the rest of the bandages with it.

“Got it,” I said, kneeling beside her. Her eyes were closed, and I called out louder, “Harlee!”

Her eyes snapped open and looked at me with pain-filled eyes that just tore at my heart. I wanted nothing more than to take that pain away.

“What do you need out of this pouch,” I asked, holding it up for her to see.

She licked her lips, “There are four vials inside. One to ease pain, and another will slow blood flow. A green liquid and a clear one. The green is for pain. Clear is a coagulant.”

“Okay,” I said, pulling the appropriate vials out. “Now what?”

Harlee's breath shuddered, and her body shivered, but she stayed looking at me. Like I was the only thing keeping her alive.

She lifted her shirt, exposing the knife wound. Blood was pouring from the wound in a steady stream, the minute her hand was away. It was already pooling beneath her.

“Wipe the blood away and pour just a little bit of the clear liquid directly into the wound,” Harlee breathed out. “You’re going to have to pull it open to do it.”

“What,” I exclaimed in shock.

“It has to go directly in, Raven,” she told me, pleading with me. “Pour until you see the blood slow down.”

“O-okay,” I replied nervously. “Here goes nothing.”

I took a bandage and wiped the blood away from the wound. I saw the wound gaping a bit. Cringing but determined, I pulled the skin further apart then poured the clear liquid into the open wound. It didn’t take much before I noticed the blood slowing down. When I did, I stopped, let go, and pressed a bandage over it. I watched as she lifted her hand slowly and then let it fall over the dressing. Pressing it down.

“Now what, Harlee,” I asked.

“Bring me the other vial,” she whispered.

I scooted closer to her head, ignoring the rocks digging into my legs. Knowing that she probably had to drink the vial, I lifted her head and shoulders to prop against my thighs.

“I only need a little bit, Raven. Too much, and it will make my heart stop.”

“Yeah, we don’t want that to happen. Do we, Casanova?”

“No, I very much don’t want to die. I have too much to do.”

“Yeah, you do,” I said as I tilted the vial over her lips.

She drank nothing more than a tiny sip before she turned her head away. I brushed loose strands away from her face that had gone sweaty.

“What now, Harlee?”

“Now, I need you to do something that you probably don’t want to. I need you to leave me. Leave and run to our camp.”

“I can’t do that, Harlee. Just tell me how to fix you, and I’ll do it. Please,” I begged.

“Unless you know how to start a fire or stitch a wound close, you need to. You need to find Clarke and bring her here.”

Knowing I could do neither, I still argued, “What if I miss her? What if she’s on her way and I can’t find her? What the hell does she even look like?”

“You won’t miss her,” Harlee replied, her voice sounding sleepy. “Your namesake will guide you. And you’ll know her because she used to be the fairest of them all.”

“My namesake? What does that even mean? Harlee? Harlee?!”

I shook her awake, and she looked at me in confusion.

“Harlee, what do you mean? I need you to tell me.”

“Listen for the kraw of the death bird,” she whispered, making even less sense now. “The death bird will guide you to the keeper of death. Find her.”

“Harlee…”

“Go, Raven! Hurry before another Valkyrie takes me home!”

“Okay, Harlee. Okay. Just please don’t die,” I said, getting out from under her.

“As you will it, so I shall,” Harlee mumbled. 

Sniffing and wiping tears that had began to fall, I started running towards the forest. Harlee’s last words chasing me into the shadows of the trees.

“GO! FIND CLARKE. FOLLOW YOUR NAMESAKE!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so I let Raven obsess, ramble and snoop over Harlee. A bit of foreshadowing because let's face it, if anyone can figure that things aren't on the level, it'd be Raven.
> 
> So, the two things I mentioned in the beginning notes, if you haven't figured it out were the kiss and Bellamy severely injuring Harlee. When I tried it from Harlee's POV, Harlee kept talking Bellamy out of doing anything stupid. And I needed him to be stupid and attack Harlee. Because I have a plan and canon diverges even more. I don't want to give too much away because I don't want to spoil it. 
> 
> The way Harlee speaks at the end, shows that she's losing focus and control over her thoughts. She's speaking the way she would normally speak with her clan members, which incorporates Old Norse mythology. And I'm not a hundred percent certain on which mythology or ancient culture refers to a raven as a death bird. I don't remember if it's Norse, Celtic, or Native American. Or all three, but I know it's one of them. I'm interested in those cultures and myths so it gets a little jumbled sometimes.
> 
> And I'm sure you saw Harlee referring to Clarke as a keeper of death. It makes sense because as a healer, she does control death. By either working to save someone or when it's too late, easing them into it. As of yet, I don't know if it's foreshadowing Clarke becoming Wanheda, but we'll see.
> 
> Oh, and if you noticed anything different about how I wrote my dialogue, I learned something new about writing dialogue. So, I'm trying to incorporate what I learned while at the same time forgetting and doing it the way I usually do.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And chapter 18 is out, my peeps. Some dialogue came from Season 1, Episode 5, _Twilight's Last Gleaming_.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind.

**Raven POV**

I had never been so desperate to run before. That was until now. Fear and worry spurred me forward as I crashed into the trees. Tripping and careening as I headed in the direction I thought Harlee pointed that would lead me to the Hundred’s camp. My chest was hurting even more as I began gasping for air. The Ark never prepared us for this kind of exertion, though I was fitter than most due to the nature of my job. Still, running…yeah, I think I’ll leave that to others when this was all over.

I tripped over a root and went sprawling to the ground. The landing shoot pain through my chest. I groaned as I pushed myself up, breathing hard as I looked around me. Leaning against a tree, I tried to get my bearings, but everything looked the same. Fear jumped up a few notches, thinking I’d gotten myself lost, and Harlee would die because of it. I smacked the tree in frustration and shoved off, determined to try.

That’s when I heard it. A sound that didn’t quite belong with the normal chirps and flutters I had been absently listening as I ran. It sounded again. A kraw. It sounded a third time, and my head snapped in the direction it had come from. Then I remembered Harlee’s words. The sound of my namesake.

Namesake? Raven? The sound of a raven? Yes! Harlee was referring to the sound a raven makes. That meant that the kraw was the sound a raven made. I need to follow the kraw.

I took off in the direction I heard the kraw come from. Though as I ran, slowing to listen for the kraw, a part of my brain was trying to figure out how that sound would lead me to Clarke. It shouldn’t have been possible. However, I tried to run through plausible explanations. My mind going from a rescued pet raven to Harlee having mystical powers.

I snorted at that last one as I headed towards the latest kraw. Mysticism and the supernatural did not exist in the real world. I thought bitterly to myself that if it did, my mother wouldn’t have been the way she had been. 

I ran around a rather large bush, watching my feet more than what was around me when I collided with something. Or rather someone. A husky cry of pain met my ears as we both fell, and I landed on top of them. Of her.

I rolled off the girl, groaning in pain, and started to push myself up. I opened my mouth to bitch at this person for not looking when I finally looked at her. My complaints dried in my throat as I took the girl in. Blonde, slightly wavy hair. Slightly rounded oval face with a squared and dimple chin. Full lips with a mark above the left corner. Thin with a generous pair of breasts. Thin hourglass figure. And then she opened her eyes, and I was met with the bluest pair of eyes that I hadn’t seen since meeting Jake Griffin.

I was face to face with Clarke Griffin. And I now understood Harlee’s comment because Clarke looked like a fairy tale princess. Not Snow White but Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella. And Clarke was definitely beautiful. And of course, a part of my brain had to go and tell me that she wasn’t as attractive as Harlee.

Dammit, my brain was really fixated on Harlee. Then I remembered why. Harlee was stabbed and slowly dying.

“Who the hell are you,” Clarke demanded, shaking me out of my reverie.

“Raven,” I replied, scrambling to my feet. “And you’re Clarke. And we need to go.”

I grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet, holding on to her as I started heading back to the pod. And Harlee.

“Wait a minute” -she tugged her arm out of my grasp- “just who and what the hell is going on? Where did you come from?”

I rolled my eyes, grabbed her again, and started pulling, “I’ll explain on the way, but we need to hurry. Harlee’s hurt. Stabbed. Bleeding out. So, you know, a life is at stake here.”

That seemed to snap her out of whatever argument she was ready to use, “Harlee’s hurt?! Where and what the hell happened?”

I growled in frustration, “Just come on. I’ll explain, but we need to hurry.”

She nodded, and we picked up the pace. Running as I gasped out what had happened. We reached the stream faster than I had left. I immediately felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise. What was before us was not the way it had been when I left.

As we slid down the hill, I took everything in. Harlee had been moved. There looked to be drag or crawl marks. She now lay closer to the trees and on her front. A pool of blood beneath her. The boy had been flipped over to his front, and his hands and feet were now tied. I could only guess that somehow Harlee had found the energy to tie up the guy and then tried to make it to the trees before she collapsed again.

Clarke took the scene in and immediately rushed to Harlee. She turned Harlee over, and my heart dropped. Harlee was paler, and the bandage was soaked. I hurried over and knelt on the opposite side of Harlee.

Clarke let out a sigh of relief, “She’s still alive. Her pulse is weak, and her breathing’s shallow. We don’t have much time to stop the bleeding.”

I nodded, “What do you need?”

“What I need is a fully stocked clinic,” Clarke sighed out in frustration. “A sterile environment. Drugs. Clean bandages. And a damn suture kit. None of which I have. I don’t even know how to start a floating fire to burn the wound shut.”

“I think I might have something that will work. Hold on,” I said and scrambled to my feet.

I ran over to where Harlee had been and found her bag and the medkit where I’d dropped them. I grabbed both and one of Harlee’s knives. I ran back and knelt again.

Holding out the medkit to Clarke, “This is Harlee’s. I don’t know how she came across it, but it has what you need. Something for pain and needle and thread.”

Clarke took it and opened it up quickly, letting out a gasp as she took it in.

“Where? How?”

“I don’t know, but I know it’s not standard fare on the Ark.”

“No, it’s not. Okay. Now, I need to clean the wound as best as I can. Is there a pouch of water?”

I dug through the bag and came out with the water pouch. Then I remembered that it was empty.

“Hold on. Let me fill this up. I forgot that I had drunk it all earlier,” I said and got up to head to the stream.

When I came back, Clarke had lifted Harlee’s shirt and removed the dressing.

“The blood’s slowed,” Clarke said, worry evident in her voice.

“Harlee has this vial of coagulant. She had me pour it into the wound to slow the bleeding,” I explained. 

Clarke nodded as she began to thread one of the hooked needles, “Smart. It’s probably the only reason she’s alive right now.”

“I noticed that. Harlee’s like a damn Boy Scout. Prepared for anything. She had food, water, medkit, rope, and two knives on her,” I said in wonder.

Clarke took the water pouch and started cleaning the wound, “I’m not surprised. She spends most of her days exploring outside camp. The day I finally met her, she had a run-in with a panther. She killed the panther, and they both tumbled down a ravine. Arrived at camp dragging the cat with scratches and a dislocated shoulder. Hardly made a sound while I treated her.”

“Damn.”

“You can say that again,” Clarke replied with a snort as she started to stitch the wound closed. “The next day, she was back out and took down a deer. Bigger than the two-headed one, I saw our first day. And a huge set of antlers on its head. Nothing seems to stop her. Not even coming across Grounders.”

“She’s come across Grounders,” I asked, looking at the medkit by Clarke and beginning to wonder.

“Yeah, she said that they appear to be hunters or travelers.”

“Has she mentioned ever talking to one?”

“No,” Clarke shook her head. “She said that she hides until they pass. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason,” I quickly replied. “Harlee told Jaha that the Grounders have been observing the camp, but my arrival my change things.”

Clarke looked up at me sharply, “Harlee spoke to Jaha? How?”

“I was sent down with a radio,” I explained. “Your mom set it up because the Council was planning on culling three hundred people. Abby didn’t believe that you guys were dying, but there was no way to prove it.”

“I knew that the Council would do something like that. Did you stop it?”

“I think so. Harlee kept the conversation short. She kept to the bare minimum of what has been happening while pissing Jaha off.”

Clarke snorted as she tied the last stitch off, “That should do it. Help me hold her up while we wrap the bandage around her. Now, we just need Finn to show up so I can send him back to camp. There’s no way the three of us will be able to carry Harlee and Bellamy back by ourselves.”

I helped Clarke get Harlee up, resting Harlee’s head against my shoulder as Clarke wrapped the last of the bandages around Harlee’s stomach. I felt relief course through me as Harlee’s warm breath tickled the side of my neck. When she was done, I laid her gently back down, moving a few strands of hair from her face.

I turned back to Clarke, watching her clean up, “Finn’s here? He’s alive?”

“Yeah,” Clarke replied. “He and I headed out when we found out that Bellamy had snuck out of camp. We split up to cover more ground. I wasn’t expecting to run into you literally.”

“Bellamy? As in Bellamy Blake?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Dude, Kane, and Jaha have been looking for him. He shot Jaha, nearly killing him, but your mom was able to save him.”

“Sonofa—that’s why he was convincing everyone to take off their bands,” Clarke exclaiming, smacking the dirt in frustration, and turning a glare on the unconscious boy. “Why he was always preaching about how we’re better than the Ark and don’t need them. Bellamy didn’t want to face execution.”

I grunted in pain, my chest seizing as I shifted to sit down more comfortably.

Clarke turned her blue gaze on me with worry, “Are you okay?”

“Bellboy kicked me a couple of times in the chest. I think he cracked a rib.”

“Would you like me to take a look,” Clarke asked, already moving to my side.

I shrugged, taking off my jacket, “Sure, why not.”

I lifted my shirt, and we both saw a dark bruise already forming across half my chest. Clarke gently prodded it, making me hiss in pain. And that just so happened to be when someone else crashed through the trees. Clarke and I both looked up in surprise and froze. There, above us, stood Finn. Standing stock still in shock.

Happiness surged through me seeing Finn. I hastily got up and ran up to him.

“Finn,” I happily cried as I collided with him and wrapped my arms around him.

“Raven,” Fin hesitantly stuttered, wrapping me his arms around me.

I let out a happy hum as I felt his comforting embrace, “I knew you weren’t dead.”

“How did you get here,” Finn asked, dumbfounded.

I leaned back, grinning at him, “You know that big scraphold? The one on K deck?”

“You built that from scrap,” Finn looked down at me in wonder, and maybe a bit like I was crazy.

I scoffed, “I kind of rebuilt it. Please, like that’s hard. It just needed a couple of parts and some love.”

“You’re insane,” he laughed.

“I’d do more for you and worse,” I replied, adoringly looking at him. “Just like you would for me.”

I reached up and pulled him into a kiss, which after a moment, he returned. I hated to admit to myself, but I suddenly found it lacking. It was nothing compared to the one I’d shared with Harlee. I broke the kiss and tugged him down to where everyone was.

“What happened here,” Finn asked as he took in everything.

“Bellamy tried to kill Harlee. Then he tried to kill me, but Harlee stopped him,” I explained, pointing at them. “Then I ran off to find Clarke, we came back here, and Clarke saved Harlee.”

“Well, I don’t know if I saved her,” Clarke said from where she was treating Bellamy. “I stopped the bleeding, and she’s alive for now, but she’s not out of the woods yet. I’ll have to monitor closely for any signs of fever or infection. When she wakes up, I’ll know she’ll be okay.”

“What about jackass there,” I asked, making Finn wrap his arms around me again because it made me feel safe.

Clarke glanced up and then quickly back down before answering, “It looks like Harlee hit him pretty good on the head, but he’s breathing, and his pulse is steady. But I don’t know if he’ll wake up. If he does, the shoulder wound will give him problems. It looks like the knife entered the joint.”

I smirked, hearing that, “After the shit, he’s done, he doesn’t deserve to wake up whole.”

“Babe, you don’t mean that,” Finn gently chastised me.

“I do,” I snapped, stepping out of his embrace to glare at him. “He tried to kill Harlee. He was going to kill me. Not to mention, he tried to kill Jaha. The only reason that asshole’s alive is because Clarke’s mom saved him.”

“By the way, where’s the radio now,” Clarke asked as she joined us.

“In Harlee’s bag. I’d already disconnected it, and we were getting ready to head back when she heard someone. She stuck me and the bag back in the pod and told me to stay until it was safe. Then shit happened.”

Clarke nodded, “Good. We still have power at the dropship and should be able to reconnect it there. Which is great because Finn, I need you to go back to camp.”

“Clarke…” Finn looked hesitant to leave, and I noticed something in the way he looked at Clarke that I didn’t like.

“No, Finn,” Clarke sternly replied. “We need to get Harlee and Bellamy back to camp. The three of us won’t be able to. Not with Raven’s bruised, maybe cracked ribs. We need stretchers and people. I’d go, but someone needs to stay and make sure none of them get worse. So, that leaves you.”

Finn heavily sighed, nodding to her arguments, “Alright, but it’s going to take a few hours. I’m not even sure where we are to camp.”

“Harlee said we’re about an hour southeast of here. If you run, it’ll maybe take you two, two and a half hours tops,” I said, pointing in the direction I remembered Harlee pointing.

He looked in that direction and then back at Clarke, “If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” Clarke replied. “Go. We’ll be fine for now.”

He nodded, “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

He turned to leave, but I stopped him. I pulled him into another kiss before looking at him, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Raven,” he replied, looked to Clarke on last time, and then took off running.

I stood there for a long moment, replaying what I had just felt and saw. I looked at Clarke, but she had hastily moved back to Harlee. I looked where Finn had disappeared into the forest and raised a hand to my lips. That kiss hadn’t felt like all the ones before. It lacked warmth and felt almost obligatory. Then there were the looks Finn had been throwing in Clarke’s direction. It felt like there was something behind those looks. Something more than friendship.

But that was impossible, wasn’t it? Finn loved me. Just like I love him. Finn wouldn’t. He wouldn’t hurt me like that. Would he?


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your daily dose, my darlings. A bit of fluff, but not really fluff. Maybe more of a filler before stuff starts happening again. Whatever you want to call it, here it is.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind.

**Raven POV**  
The Next Day

As soon as we had arrived back to camp, Clarke ushered everybody into the dropship. Bellamy had been taken to the third level, where he continued to be restrained. Harlee had been laid out on a table on the first level. And I had set up shop on the opposite side of the first level, working with a quiet guy named Monty, and surprisingly, Wells Jaha. Together, the three of us were working on getting the radio hooked into the power of the dropship.

That had been yesterday. Now, I had just woken up to find my eye inches from the tip of a Torx screwdriver still held in my hand. I groaned and pushed myself up from the table and tiredly rubbed my face.

A husky giggle drew my attention to where Clarke was changing Harlee’s bandage. I glared at her, and she just shook her head, a smile of amusement on her face.

“I tried to take that tool from you, but you just gripped it tighter,” Clarke said as she finished.

“I probably thought you were trying to steal it,” I grumbled as I pulled my hair out of the ponytail and scratching my scalp. “I didn’t risk my life just to lose my tools.”

“Is that why you’ve been guarding Harlee’s stuff,” she asked, cleaning up.

“We _are_ in a camp full of thieves,” I huffed. “And from what I’ve seen, Harlee’s the only one with real knives. How did she come by them anyway?”

“She said that she found a bunker that had a few things in it. The knives were the only stuff that wasn’t degraded or destroyed.”

“Convenient,” I muttered and then more loudly, “Has anybody else found bunkers?”

“Finn has. He showed it to me. It looked like it was set up for a family, and everything was still intact. Like the family had never made it.”

“Well, if those two found bunkers, there’s liable to be more around here. There could be some things I could find a use for,” I replied thoughtfully and started working again. “How is Harlee, anyway?”

“She seems to be doing a lot better. No signs of fever or infection. She could wake up at any time now.”

“That’s good.”

“It is. I should probably go and check on Bellamy. Make sure he hasn’t died while I was asleep,” Clarke sighed and headed to the ladder.

I looked over at her, “What are you going to do about him? Since, you know, he tried to kill Harlee and me.”

Clarke sighed and leaned against the ladder, “I don’t know. I know what we would have done on the Ark. The same thing he was trying to avoid by making them think we were dead. But, he was right about one thing. We’re not on the Ark, and we’re not beholden to the laws of the Ark. Not anymore. So, in this new world, does attempted murder warrant a death sentence? If it doesn’t, what should the appropriate punishment be? Should we let the people decide? Should the victim decide? A select group? This is all so new, Raven. I mean, before it was just petty fights between the kids and the punishments were easy enough to decide. But this…this is so much more serious.”

“I know what we can’t do,” I said as I regarded Harlee. “We can’t let it slide. No matter his reasoning, he still made the conscious choice to do it. There wasn’t someone with a gun to Bellamy’s head, making him plunge his knife into Harlee. There was no one making him kick me, though it could have been retaliation for me stabbing him when he tried to grab me. But when he started kicking me, I thought he was going to kill me. Especially after seeing him holding the knife dripping with Harlee’s blood.”

Clarke bit her lip in thought, “Did Harlee say anything to you about what happened between them?”

“All she said was that he blindsided her. All I heard while in the pod were two thuds of something hitting the side.”

“Then all we can do is wait until they both wake up to get the full story,” Clarke sighed. “Once we have a clearer picture, we can go from there. If nothing else, maybe we can learn how he got the gun in the first place. That’s information we can hold over Jaha.”

“Plus, we know he was going to cull three hundred from the Ark,” I pointed out. “You add that with your launch…threaten to expose them Ark-wide. You could probably get Jaha to agree to anything you wanted. He’d do anything to keep his power.”

“Is that something you can do? Broadcast Ark-wide?”

I smirked and twirled the screwdriver around my fingers, “I can do just about anything some duct tape and time.”

“Kinky,” Harlee’s hoarse voice made both of us snap our heads around.

We both rushed over as Harlee tried to push herself up. Clarke reached her first and forced her back down.

“Don’t even think about it,” Clarke nearly growled. “You were stabbed, and you need to recover.”

Harlee went to say something but started coughing. I reached for the water pouch as Clarke reluctantly helped her up. Harlee reached for the water, but I swatted her hand away before helping her drink. When she’d had enough, Clarke laid her back down.

Harlee looked between us, and a slow smirk started to spread, “I could get used to having two beautiful women hovering over me hand and foot.”

I scoffed, and Clarke smacked her on the shoulder.

“Ow. Injured person, remember,” Harlee chuckled.

“Shut up,” Clarke grumbled and started checking her over again. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got stabbed,” Harlee deadpanned. “Now, can we get back to Raven and duct tape?”

“Only if I use it to shut that mouth of yours,” I huffed, though I was relieved that she was awake.

Harlee freaking pouted, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek at how sexy it looked, “But then you wouldn’t be able to enjoy what I can do with it.”

“Oh my god,” I replied in exasperation even as I blushed at the implications while Clarke coughed to cover her own reaction.

Harlee smirked again, pleased with herself, then abruptly yawned.

“You should get some more rest,” Clarke said, turning professional. “You lost a lot of blood and still need to recover.”

“But I just woke up,” Harlee whined, and I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of my chest, which made Harlee grin at me.

“She’s right,” I said, reaching out and tucking a strand of Harlee’s hair behind her ear, and watched in amazement as Harlee leaned into the gesture. “You need rest, Harlee.”

“Is that a command, my Valkyrie,” Harlee said, her eyes already drooping.

“If it will get you to sleep, then yeah, it is, Casanova,” I replied.

“Then, I shall obey. Only for you,” she sleepily said as her eyes slid shut.

Clarke and I stood over Harlee, watching to make sure she had fallen asleep.

“Is she always so heavy-handed with the innuendos,” I asked as I returned to the radio.

“I’m starting to think she does it to avoid subjects she doesn’t want to talk about,” Clarke replied, frowning in thought. “Like herself. What was that with the name she called you?”

I shrugged, not looking up from what I was doing, “I don’t know. Isn’t a Valkyrie some mythical female warrior or something?”

“They were maidens who were sent by some Norse god to take worthy warriors who had died in battle to a place called Valhalla,” Wells said as he stepped further into the dropship. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You didn’t,” Clarke replied, walking over to hug him. “Harlee just woke up a bit ago, and we were just talking.”

Wells hugged her back, “Okay. Raven, what needs to be done today?”

I looked over my shoulder at him, “Just need to check the connections with the solar panels and then run the wires down. After that, I can put the final components together while the rest of it charges.”

Wells nodded and started to walk over to the ladder that would allow him up on the roof, but Clarke held him back for a moment, “How do you know about the Valkyries, Wells?”

“I took a class on classical mythologies,” he sheepishly replied. “They covered Norse, Greek, Roman, Celtic, Hindu, and a few others.”

“So, what’s Valhalla,” I asked.

“It’s supposedly this great big hall where slain warriors gathered to wait for a world-ending event called Ragnarök. They were meant to fight alongside Odin, who was the head of the Norse gods.”

“Huh,” I looked over at Harlee, furrowing my brow in thought. “That’s kinda interesting.”

Wells grinned, “It really is, but I wished that we had saved more texts on some of those ancient cultures. Why the interest if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh,” Clarke slyly grinned as she looked at me, “Harlee called Raven, her ‘Valkyrie,’ and neither of us knew what it was.”

I blushed and abruptly turned back to the radio, “Weren’t you going to check on Bellboy, Blondie?”

Clarke chuckled, “I was, and I probably should. You’ll let me know if she wakes again?”

“Yeah, I will,” I replied, ignoring that both of them were looking at me. “Wells, the solar panels.”

“Right, I’m just gonna go and do that then,” Wells said and started climbing the ladder.

Clarke laughed, following after Wells, “You still are too easily embarrassed, Wells.”

“When it comes to Harlee, yes, yes, I am,” Wells said as he ascended. “You didn’t hear what she got up to while you were gone.”

“Oh,” Clarke questioned.

Wells’ voice carried down the further he climbed, “No, I mean, you didn’t _hear_ Harlee.”

My eyes widened at the implication, and I turned to stare at the now sleeping girl, “Are you _freaking_ kidding me?! Casanova can’t really be that spot on, can it? Oh, we really need to have that conversation now, Harlee.”

Harlee remained sleeping, not even moving to give any indication that she heard me. I huffed in irritation and turned back to work. Though my mind wandered back to Harlee and how everything I had learned seemed to deepen the mystery surrounding the girl. Just who, exactly, was Harlee?


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your daily dose, my peeps. Whew, this is a big chapter, y'all. Nearly 7K, I think. And it is angsty. A lot comes out in this chapter, but not all of it is explained. That's for future chapters, so please, be patient. Things are starting to happen, building to an inevitability. Not the conclusion of the story, but I guess you could call it an arc. I probably could have split it into two chapters, but I was just on a roll last night.
> 
> And I don't know if this had any influence on the what I wrote it, but while I was reading I had the chorus of In This Moment's song, "The In-Between" off their latest album, _Mother_ , running on repeat in my head. I'm listening to it right now, and I can see some correlation, so who knows. On a side note, I honestly think it's their best album yet after _Ritual_ , but that's just my opinion. Their music isn't everybody's cup of tea.
> 
> Well anyway, here's Chapter 20.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind.

Harlee POV

Images flashed in my mind. Conjuring long-dead demons that I had thought long ago banished. Only to resurface at my most vulnerable. Fingers sharpened to blades reaching for me as hateful words echoed around my mind. Malicious laughter chasing me as I tried to escape only to find me in the deepest and darkest corners. Voices taunting me, mocking the cleansing fires of the past. Round and round, it all went like some twisted, macabre display of my gravest, darkest sins. Chasing me out of slumber with a gut-wrenching scream.

I bolted upright, the scream burning my throat, eyes seeing nothing but the torment I endured. The instant I felt hands, I tore away, stumbling, falling, until I felt cold metal at my back. I reached for a weapon and cried out in frustration when I found none. I curled into myself, sobbing, pleading for a quick death at the hands of my tormentors. Forgetting that my tormentors had long since turned to ash. Forgetting that I had risen from those same ashes, born anew.

I don’t know how long I waited for the blood to begin flowing, slicking me down, and coating me in ebony. I don’t know how long I waited for that final stroke that would cease my erratically beating heart. I don’t know how long I waited for that cleansing fire to carry me away finally.

But the wait had turned my sobs to painful silence. My throat raw and aching. The wait had deafened my ears from the mocking tones of the past. The wait had brought a voice that breached and crested the wall of blades and blood and pain. A voice that wrapped itself around me as I fearfully huddled in that deep, dark corner of my mind. Comforting, soothing, calling me out of the darkness. The wait had brought a touch that no longer felt like slicing blades. A touch of warmth. A touch of solace. A touch of peace. A touch of reality.

I gathered the remnants of my tattered courage and slowly lifted my head. Through teary eyes, I met the face of my Valkyrie, and I nearly wept again. Only this time in relief, thinking everything was finally over and done with. That I could live in peace until Odin called me to his side. 

Then reality further intruded as pain radiated from my stomach, and I became aware of the pain in my throat. I grimaced and tucked my head back down as I breathed through the waves of pain. Anger flaring as recent memories resurfaced, and I ground my teeth in resentment. Bitterness grew, and ignoring the pain and everything around me, I shoved against the floor and walls until I was standing. I checked to see if I had my knives, I found I had neither nor my boots.

“Where are my knives and boots,” I growled out, intent on removing myself from these Sky children.

“Harlee, wait a minute,” my Valkyrie’s voice pleaded with me.

I spun on her, glaring darkly, “Where. Are. My. Knives. False One.”

Raven took an involuntary step back at my tone, and I took a threatening step forward. Only to be blocked by Wells. He visibly swallowed in fear as I turned my deadly gaze on him, but he stood his ground and did not back down.

“Harlee, you need to take a breath and calm down,” Wells said, holding his hands up in surrender.

“What I _need_ is to leave. But I will not do so until my knives and boots are returned to me,” I continued to growl. “If I have to ask again, the keeper of death will find herself busy.”

“Fine,” Raven ground out through gritted teeth, glaring at me.

She pulled a knife from her back and slammed it on what had been my bed. She drew another and repeated the gesture. Then she bent down and picked up my boots only to slam them on the bed as well. I glared at both of them, daring them to try anything as I reached for them. Sheathing the knives in quick moves before grabbing my boots and storming out of the dropship without another word.

Anybody caught in my path, quickly backed out of the way. A part of me reveling in seeing their fear. They would learn what all the clans knew, and I would be free of their needy pull. The moment I entered the hut, I stopped and pulled on my boots, not even tying them properly. Then I was out the hidden entrance and striding away, whistling to alert my guard to follow.

I walked until I came to a clearing that held a single tent. Seeing it, I felt relieved, and I strode quickly inside. There, I stopped in the middle, staring at the small brazier that filled the meeting area with light. My thoughts swirling as an old mantra filled my head. I walked over to it in a daze, lifting my hand over the flame as I contemplated finishing something from long ago.

But the flames flickered as a breeze wafted across, breaking my daze. I blinked and turned to see Deke standing near the entrance. Wordlessly, I walked over to him, and he opened his arms wide. I choked out a sob as I fell into his waiting embrace. I sobbed as he comforted me in words of an ancient tongue that had ceased to exist long before Praimfaya. When my sobs had quieted, did he finally speak.

“Does the Flame still call ya, strikon,” Deke softly spoke as he continued to hold me.

I moved my head until I could hear the sound of his steady heart and answered, “The Pyres call, Deke. They are like a Siren’s Call. Promising to free me from my pain. I am shackled once more by my heart’s betrayal. The Pyre and its cleansing fire my only recourse unless I wish to bathe a field in blood.”

“You speak folly, strikon,” Deke’s voice rumbled. “’Tis Fear that causes you to speak so. What brings this madness?”

I sighed and reluctantly left his arms to sit at the throne of iron and wood. My throne. I gather strength from its solid form before I turn a tired gaze to Deke and speak.

“I find myself endeared by these children, Deke,” I said slowly. “Their stories are an echo of mine. Tossed and bullied by those who speak of care yet with Loki’s treachery use them. They are nothing more than canaries in mines and rats in labs. To be used and tossed aside once their worth is expended. They are naught but lost souls.”

“And we are the Sanctuary of Lost Souls,” Deke knowingly replied. “And the boy who harmed you so?”

“A coward compared to the children he proclaimed to lead. His only saving grace is the love he has for his sister. But it will not save him. Nor his knowledge that would be of great interest to the man he tried to kill.”

“Did he share his knowledge?”

I smirked, “My persuasive skills may not have stopped his blade, but I did learn the name of the man who used him. If he does not wake, I will inform them upon my return.”

“Would you so blindly entrust these children with such knowledge,” Deke frowned.

“There is no choice. That knowledge has no worth to our cause. As such, they are now able to commune with their leaders in the Sky. If they can return, the value of the children changes.”

“You mean to make them hostages?”

I nodded, “That is one use. Another is to turn them. Some have proven to be knowledgeable and eager, while the rest need to be tested and weeded. I cannot do that within the camp.”

“And to remove them from Trikru land would cause an uproar among the Ambassadors,” Deke thought out.

“They will cause an uproar if anything is decided besides bloodshed,” I replied. “Unless they accomplish something extraordinary.”

“Maun-de?”

I nodded, “These Sky Fallen are like the Maunon and us, but more like the Maunon. If I can figure out how to use them, it could solve two situations. But before any actions can be taken, I must learn of any impending arrivals. It would be best if we can convince them to delay for as long as possible.”

“Shall I inform Heda,” Deke asked.

“And seek her opinion on turning them. Let her know that many need to be tested,” I replied.

“Then I shall do so immediately,” Deke bowed and turned to leave.

“Deke,” I called out, halting him. “Thank you.”

Knowing that I meant more than sending the request, he looked over his shoulder at me and replied, “I am honored that you trust me so, Heda.”

I swallowed a lump that had formed in my throat and waved a hand dismissing him. He bowed his head and slipped through the tent flaps, leaving me alone. I had barely begun to contemplate our conversation when Riders entered carrying steam buckets and a large tub. I watched silently as they came and left without a word. Then sighed and stood up when the last one came carrying a pile of clothes and a bag.

“Ben,” I greeted the man and followed him into the private quarters of the tent. “I am surprised you waited so long.”

The man laid the clothes and bag on the cot and turned to me, “Strip, Lee.”

I rolled my eyes, having already begun doing so, “You’re mad.”

“You sent Avil away to guide a goufa through the woods,” Ben stated, glaring at me.

“Necessary to keep the illusion,” I pointed out as I stripped off my shirt. “It would have caused too many questions to send her into the woods only to come back and find me treated. And I knew about the medkit Avil snuck into my bag at your insistence.”

Finally nude, Ben approached and began unwinding the bandage around my stomach, “And it was a good thing too. Otherwise, we would have razed this camp to the ground.”

“I know,” I grumbled. “But the men will have their blood even if I have to spirit the boy away myself.”

“That is not the point,” Ben replied, poking me around the edges of the wound and making me hiss in pain. “You have grown lax. Reckless.”

“I needed a way to meet their fisa,” I huffed, glaring at him. “Their fisa also happens to be a leader.”

“So, you chose a natripa to gain entrance. Folly. Foolhardy.”

“It was better than a damn boar. I would have had to take it out and its mate. Natripas are far easier.”

Ben sighed, “At least this fisa is worth her salt. She shows a steady hand, and I can see no complaints in her treatment of your injuries.”

I looked at him in interest, “So, would you contest that her knowledge is comparable to yours?”

“In basic treatment, I would say yes,” Ben agreed. “Without further questioning or observation, I cannot attest to her level of skill.”

“I can work with that,” I said as I gazed at the tent walls. “They do not know plants. What they do have, they are basing it off centuries-old information.”

“Can you blame them,” Ben said as he started washing me. “The plants _mutated_ , Lee. They can’t exactly know into what having been stuck in the Sky for centuries. From the conversations with the twins and the girl, Sharlot, they retained almost all of the Old World. Only ridding themselves of things they felt unnecessary to their survival.”

“How is retaining knowledge of dead governments and other drivel necessary to the survival of humanity,” I incredulously asked. “Knowing how to build sewage systems, aqueducts, farming, mining, homes. Those are things that should be retained and taught until their arrival. Not reading the Bronte Sisters and who won what war a millennia ago.”

“You know what the archives say about those who fled Earth before Praimfaya. They were the rich and influential. The brightest minds of their generations. What they thought was important to remember was different from the common man,” Ben chided.

“I know. I know,” I said in frustration. “But it makes them so… _alien_ , Ben. If Heda cannot find any common ground with them or if they refuse to submit to her rule and compromise, we will have no choice but to remove them to the Wastelands by _force_. The loss of lives and possible destruction could be devastating. And we do not need a second Maun-de.”

“Then let us hope these people of the Ark are wise enough to bend to reality,” Ben said as he rinsed me off. “There. Now, you smell less like a slaughterhouse.”

I rolled my eyes at him, “I immensely apologize, Ben, if my stench afflicted your sensitive nose. How do you think I feel being around so many unwashed bodies? They have nothing, remember?”

“That does not mean that you can forget about your own hygiene, Lee,” Ben chastised me. “Just because you must live among the pigs does not mean you have to become one.”

“I do if I want to be mistaken and accepted by them,” I huffed in annoyance. “Can you hurry up? I don’t know how much time they’ll give me before Clarke comes wanting to change my bandages.”

“I’m almost done, Wocha,” Ben replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “You would think your impatience was due to a chit than maintaining an illusion.”

I felt a blush burn across my chest, and then memories slammed into me as shame filled me. If I wanted anything with Raven, even friendship, I would have to apologize and make it right with her. I just wasn’t sure that I could even admit to the cause of my behavior.

Ben had noticed my sudden silence and went to lay a hand on my shoulder, but I flinched away. I blinked the memories that threatened to resurface elsewhere.

I strode to where my clean clothes lay and began dressing, “I’m sorry, Ben.”

“No, Lee, that was my fault,” Ben hastily replied. “I heard the scream from the trees. I should have remembered.”

“No, Ben,” I sighed and turned back to him. “The fault lies with me and only me. I just…”

I groaned in frustration about my inability to voice my pain and turned back to finish dressing.

“You don’t have to explain it to me, Lee,” Ben said, moving to the far side of the cot where his bag lay. “I know how you are after such an episode. I’ve prepared the tonic for you. It’s enough to get you through the next few days.”

“Thank you,” I gratefully replied while hating that I needed such a thing.

“Maybe this is a good thing, Lee,” Ben hesitantly spoke, glancing at me. “Maybe these children can help you lay your demons to rest finally. Since you find so much in common with them.”

“I don’t know, Ben,” I said as I sat down to pull on my boots.

“Give it some thought, Lee,” Ben said, placing the skin filled with tonic and another beside it. “If anyone deserves peace before the final Pyre, it’s you.”

A tear fell from my eye as I stopped and looked at him, “I’ll give it thought. Thank you, Ben.”

“You are our Heda, Lee,” Ben said with an understanding smile. “You have sacrificed much to bring and keep peace among the clans. Though the annals may label you for eternity as a monster, your people know the truth. And Love you for it. Heda Leksa would not be as loved if she did not have you bearing the people’s hate and fear.”

I stood up before him, “I am Wuskripa, Ben. Leading an army of Trikovakripas (Shadow Demons). Fear and Death is all I will ever bring. I am not meant for Love.”

“That is where you are wrong,” Ben adamantly replied. “You, Harlee, are Trikova Heda. Ruler of Trikovakru and Commanding General of the Trikovahosas (Shadow Riders). You keep the peace. You are _beloved_ by your subjects and gonas. You are so deserving of Love and more. Do not reject it out of Fear.”

I sighed and pulled Ben into a hug, which he gladly returned.

“I wish I could believe that, Ben. I really do,” I whispered, feeling tears build in my eyes once more.

“One day you will, old friend. We will keep telling you this until you do,” he replied.

I nodded and released him. Turning to pick up the two skins, I said, “I must return. Thank you for this, Ben.”

“I am your fisa, Lee,” Ben scoffed. “If I were not, you would have surely died a thousand times by now.”

I laughed, though it pained me to do so, “And I shall probably nearly die a thousand times before the final Pyre. If only so you do not grow bored.”

“Do not tease me so, Lee. I would think you were courting me,” Ben teased as the heavy moment dissipated.

I snorted and started walking out of the tent, Ben following me.

“Your backside is not pleasing enough for me to ever consider courting you, Ben.”

“You wound me, Lee. Plenty have appreciated my backside.”

“But not as many as those who appreciate _all_ of me,” I said in parting.

“Is that what those sounds were,” Ben cheekily replied. “I thought it was a natripa dying.”

I snorted and bowed my head in defeat, “I am too tired to counter that, Ben. I admit defeat and bow to your witty superiority.”

“I graciously accept your surrender, Lee. Make sure the fisa removes your stitches in three days if I do not see you before.”

“Sha, fisa,” I called back over my shoulder before I melted into the woods around me.

Walking back to the camp, I felt somewhat lighter. Deke and Ben’s support and reassurances had been much needed. Their words were a balm for my tattered mind. When I returned, I knew what I had to do. I just hoped that what I could openly give would be enough to begin to mend what I inevitably broke between Raven and me.

I examined the two skins in my hand. One was the color of green leaves, and I knew that was the tonic Ben had prepared for me. The other was plain, but when I pulled the stopper out and the fumes reached my nose, I grinned, knowing what it was. One of my favorite drinks. A honey mead our priests made back home. I took a long draught, sighing in satisfaction as the smooth liquid burned down my throat and brought an immediate pleasantness to my surroundings. Knowing I hadn’t eaten in nearly two days, I reluctantly stoppered the skin and tried to ignore its weight in my hand.

I slowed down when the wall came into view. Gathering what courage I had around me like armor. It felt like I was readying myself to do battle with fifty of Azgeda’s elite gonas by myself. Not apologizing to a young woman that had captivated me the moment I laid eyes upon her. Except that was exactly why I suddenly felt stricken by nerves making me stop in front of the hidden entrance.

I would rather battle all of Azgeda than what I was preparing myself for. I did not feel ready to bare a shard of my broken spirit. To risk it shattering even more by exposing it. But I knew I must. If only to find peace with my actions and relearn to live with the pain once more. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and opened the hidden entrance.

I froze, not expecting to find anyone standing in the middle of the hut, clearly waiting for me. But I swallowed the fear of someone discovering the entrance and stepped through. Neither one of us said anything as I closed it up. Nor when I turned and tossed the skins onto my bedroll. I didn’t know what to say or how to explain the entrance, but I was saved the trouble.

Octavia broke first and moved in front of me quickly. Before I could react, she had wrapped me in a hug. I stood stock-still, warring with myself not to attack, but then I felt her shudder. I immediately wrapped my arms around her, and that seemed to loosen something within her.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Octavia sobbed into my chest. “I never thought Bellamy would be capable of doing something like this.”

Confused, I furrowed my brows, “You know?”

Octavia nodded, still buried in my chest, “This isn’t him. This isn’t the brother that raised me. I don’t know who this is. I didn’t think he’d get this mad for taking me outside the camp and seeing Grounders.”

Things began to fall in place, and I realized that Octavia hadn’t spoken to Clarke, Raven, or Bellamy.

“Octavia,” I gently spoke. “That’s not why he tried to kill me. I mean, we talked about that, and I think we had made peace. But that isn’t why.”

Octavia sniffed and looked up at me, “It’s not?”

“No,” I shook my head and then gestured with it to my bedroll. “Let’s sit down. There’s a lot you may not know, and it is best if we are sitting to talk about it.”

“O-okay,” she stuttered, and I guided her over.

I moved the skins to the side and leaned against the wall, easing the pain in my stomach. Octavia sat down a couple of feet from me, wiping her face of the tears that had fallen. I took a moment to regard her, and I noticed a few things. She was far dirtier than the last time I had seen her, with healing cuts and a few bruises on her face. Her pants were torn, and I thought I saw a healing gash on her knee.

I took a breath and began, “I don’t know if he told you, but to get on the dropship, Bellamy agreed to do something.”

“I know,” Octavia interrupted. “He shot Jaha. Killed him. It wasn’t something that I’d ever ask him to do.”

I nodded, “Yes, he shot Jaha. But the man did not die. Clarke’s mother was able to save him. But that does not absolve him of his crime. Bellamy still tried to kill him. The night the pod fell, I left to investigate. I suppose Bellamy did the same after convincing others to remain in camp. I arrived before him and found a girl and a radio. Her name is Raven Reyes, and she had been sent down on purpose. Clarke’s mother arranged it all because of the bands being taken off and because the Council was about to cull three hundred people.”

“What?!” Octavia exploded. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

I shook my head, “I am afraid not. I had intended to delay the communication. I wanted to bring the radio back and let the group decide if we spoke with them or not, but when Raven told me what they were planning…I felt like I had no choice. I could not allow innocents to be murdered to save the Council. So, I allowed Raven to contact the Ark. We found out that Clarke’s mother had been arrested for her part in sending Raven down. Then I spoke briefly with Jaha, explaining that we were alive and that there were people here besides us. And I warned him that if he did not want to face war immediately upon arrival, he should begin to think about how to approach the Grounders peacefully.”

Octavia nodded, “That was the right decision to make. I would have made the same choice, and you know how I feel about the Ark.”

I gave her a small smile, “Thank you. Anyway, Raven disconnected the radio, and we were getting ready to leave when I heard someone crashing through the underbrush. Not knowing who it was, I had Raven hide in the pod with the radio and gave her one of my knives for protection. It was Bellamy. We had a long conversation where we discussed you and what he did. I thought I had convinced him of a better alternative than destroying the radio and possibly killing the people of the Ark. But I was wrong. When we neared the pod, he attacked me. He meant to stab me in the back, but I had heard him and turned around. I wasn’t swift enough to prevent him from stabbing me. I tried to fight him anyway, but Bellamy knocked me against the pod and dazed me.”

“Oh My God,” Octavia exclaimed, covering her mouth as her face morphed into horror.

“I heard him open the hatch and his cry of pain as they fell out,” I continued. “Raven had stabbed him, but instead of running as I told her to do, she turned back to the pod. I think she was planning on grabbing the radio. Bellamy had gotten back up and grabbed her, throwing her to the ground. He began to kick her. By that time, I had been able to stand, and before he could kick her a third time, I hit him in the head with a rock. We both went down. Raven treated me enough to slow the bleeding and then ran for help. The next thing I know, I’m waking up in the dropship.”

“Is he alive? Where is he,” Octavia demanded, fury radiating off her.

I reached over and laid a hand on her knee, surprised that it seemed to settle her. Truthfully, I told her, “I don’t know. I do not think I hit him hard enough to kill him, but injuries to the head can be risky. Octavia, if you did not know all that happened, how did you know Bellamy attacked me?”

Octavia blushed, and gestured to the side making me look to see only the skins, “Probably the same way you got those.”

I looked back at her in confusion because neither Deke nor Ben had mentioned conversing with Octavia. Ben had only mentioned speaking with Charlotte.

“I am sorry, Octavia, but I do not understand what those skins have to do with how you knew,” I truthfully told her.

“Will you be truthful and tell me where you got them,” Octavia asked. “Where were you?”

“I was walking in the forest,” I told her, still confused. “I woke up from a nightmare and was still in the middle of it when Raven and Wells tried to calm me down. I did not react well to their help and stormed out. The forest helps calm me, and while I was out. I ran into a friend, and he gave me those skins.”

Octavia had a look of triumph on her face, “Would your friend’s name happen to be Lincoln, by chance?”

My reaction was instant. I had Octavia pinned to the ground and a knife at her throat. Her eyes widened in fear as I growled out, “How do you know that name?”

Octavia swallowed a few times, the knife digging into her skin but not piercing it, “I guess it’s my turn at storytime, huh? Can you let me up, and I’ll explain?”

I thought it over, weighing what still needed to be done before finally relenting and getting off her. I still held onto the knife as I glared at her.

“Explain.”

Octavia rubbed her neck as she nervously eyed the knife, “The last time we saw each was when I got into that fight with Bellamy, right? The night the pod came down.”

“That is the last time I remember seeing you.”

“Right. Well, when we all saw the pod come down, Bellamy met with his boys to discuss where it had landed and when to head out. Bellamy ordered that no one was to leave camp until morning, but something didn’t sit right with me. So, I watched him and then followed him when he snuck out of camp. I caught up with him around dawn, and we had another fight. He told me what he did and then said he’d take care of it. I was so mad at him for using me as an excuse for what he did that I stormed off. Well, I wasn’t paying attention and got lost. When I was trying to figure out where I was, I heard a noise and thought something was coming after me. So, I ran, tripped, and fell down a ravine. I hit a rock on the way down and busted my knee. When I came to a stop, I hit my head and knocked myself out.

I kinda, sorta came around sometime later, and thought I saw someone over me, but blacked out again. When I came to, I found myself in a dark cave. I couldn’t see much of anything, but when I tried to stand up, my knee gave out. While I was trying to figure out what to do, this big man came in wearing armor, and his face was painted. He had a red hot knife in his hand. I thought he was going to kill me, and I tried to fight him off. I was begging him not to hurt me, but he ignored me, held me down, and put the knife to my knee. I passed out from the pain. When I woke again, I found myself alone in the cave. I realized that he had fixed my knee, but I still needed to get out, you know. He had blocked the entrance, but I found a loose rock that happened to block a hole just big enough for me to get through. I escaped, but he caught me and took me back. He chained me up and left me again.

It was when he came back a third time, that I realized that maybe we were wrong to fear the Grounders. I mean, after our little run-in, I could see that they weren’t all the same. Anyway, he looked really upset when he came back. So, I point-blank asked him what was wrong. I hadn’t thought he even knew English, but he looked straight at me. Like he was deciding something. He decided, started a fire, and with drawings, and a lot of gestures, he told me. He had this little book on him. It had pictures of the dropship, me, Bellamy, Clarke, and you. But you looked different than we did, and there was a symbol on the corner of the page.”

I knew then that Lincoln had drawn me in my armor and wearing my braids. The symbol must have been the protection rune I had drawn when we had talked. I didn’t mention any of that, simply nodded at her to continue.

Octavia continued, “From what I could make out, you and Lincoln met and struck up an agreement or friendship.”

“He’s a friend,” I said when she paused like she was waiting for confirmation.

Octavia nodded, “Right. So, through the drawings and ridiculous hand gestures and broken English, he told me that Bellamy had attacked you and that you were hurt badly. Lincoln mimed getting stabbed in the stomach and passing out. I wanted to leave right then, but he told me it wasn’t safe. That I had to wait. I agreed, and we spent that time talking. Lincoln told me his people’s name and a few other words in his language. He told me that Mount Weather was a bad place, showing me pictures of men in weird suits and these creatures that he called Reapers. And I think he told me that his people were afraid that we are like the people in Mount Weather. Then when it was safe, he brought me back as close as he could, and I came straight here.”

I sighed and sat there as I thought about how to use this to my advantage. It wasn’t great that Lincoln had defied orders when he rescued and treated Octavia. Then kept her against her will, but I couldn’t fault him for it either. He was only following what his heart and soul demanded. To keep an innocent safe. One that he had seen me interacting with. But it still didn’t mean that he would be safe from punishment. I’m sure that by now, Anya had caught wind of what he did and was planning on reprimanding him for his defiance. I couldn’t step in without compromising my own relationship with Lincoln. I couldn’t show him favor.

And now, with Deke’s message to Heda, Lexa would most likely want a meeting with these children’s leaders. If nothing else than to confirm my assessment that the _children_ are not a threat. Hopefully, with the wording of using them as possible hostages, Lexa would infer that I felt the rest of their people might be. The next few days were going to be critical. I knew once that radio was connected, Clarke would be speaking with their Council and coordinating landings. I needed to stay and make sure that they understood that they couldn’t approach their arrivals as if they were entitled to the land. That the land already belonged to somebody and that they would have to gain permission to stay. I also needed to figure out a way to make it known that if they wanted to stay, they needed to prove themselves useful. That they wouldn’t be a drain on resources. And that under no condition should they align with Mount Weather. Not unless they wanted a war on their hands.

But with Octavia’s connection with Lincoln, I could use that to explain a bit of our culture and the leadership. I also knew that Octavia wouldn’t be able to stay quiet about meeting Lincoln. I could also use them as a means to set up the meeting when Heda finally decides on when or if she’s decided on something else. Until there was a decision, my hawks would be busy relaying messages between Heda and me.

I jumped, and my hand tightened on the knife when I felt a touch on my knee. I looked up to find Octavia worriedly looking at me.

I cleared my throat and tried to smile, “Sorry. I was thinking.”

Octavia nodded and stretched her injured knee back, leaning back on her hands, “I didn’t think my story would get such a reaction.”

“It’s not the story itself, it’s the implications,” I told her. “When I met Lincoln, and we agreed on an arrangement to teach me how to survive, the one thing we both knew for certain was that it had to remain a secret. We both knew that neither his people nor ours would react well. Well, Bellamy wouldn’t react well, and he’s impulsive and would have done something stupid.”

Octavia grimaced, “Yeah, he would’ve. What’s going to happen to him?”

“Bellamy?”

Octavia nodded, and I sighed, “I honestly don’t know. The decision isn’t up to me, Octavia. If it were up to me, I’d string him up to a post and cut into him until he died.”

Octavia blanched, “That’s…that’s way harsh, Harlee. And specific.”

I nodded and shrugged, “I was dying, Octavia. If I hadn’t stopped him, Bellamy would have beaten Raven and left her for dead. We’d both be dead. And he would’ve destroyed the radio, killing who knows how many in the process. He would’ve maybe felt guilty, but he would have thought it necessary just because he wanted to save himself. Everything he’s done since coming down has been for him. Not you. Not the other kids. But for him. He’s acted selfish and cowardly.”

Octavia sighed and looked up at the parachute ceiling in thought, then dropped her head to stare soberly at me, “When we got into the fight in the woods, he said that he shot Jaha for me. To protect me. I told him that I never asked him to. That I never asked for any of this. And it was like the fight just left him. He seemed resigned. Then told me he’d take care of it. Even knowing what he did, I still didn’t think he was capable of killing someone. Because that’s not the brother, I know. The brother I know, wouldn’t kill or hurt an innocent, and yet, he tried to. He tried to kill you. He hurt this girl, Raven. That wasn’t my brother. That wasn’t Bellamy. I don’t know who that was, but it wasn’t him.”

I slid my knife back into place and sat for a minute, looking at my hands. Instinctively flexing my right as I watched the faint scars ripple across the muscles. I thought about everything I’d done throughout my life. The fights, the battles, the wars. The countless lives I had taken, and the numerous I had saved. None of that bothered me. I didn’t lose sleep at night because of them. Each life taken was because there was no other recourse. Every other attempt to end it peacefully had failed. So, I respected those deaths. Honored them. 

But it was the first two lives I ever took that haunted me to this day. Two that were the most deserving of death because of the pain and suffering they had inflicted on two innocent lives. Two innocents that they had created together. Just because we were _different_ from their expectations. Yet, it was the deaths of my parents by my hand that caused me the most torment. 

I licked my lips and still looking at my hands, I quietly spoke, “Every living thing has the potential to kill, Octavia. And there are times that we, as humans, have no choice but to kill. Either to feed ourselves and others or to protect ourselves and others. But what Bellamy did wasn’t in a life or death situation. There were still alternatives. Better alternatives. He let fear dictate what he did. Because he was afraid to face the consequences of his actions. Now, though, he has no _choice_ but to face what he did. But it’s not up to me to make that decision. I’m not the leader of this camp. The only thing that I will make sure of is that he is punished and that it fits the crime.”

I took a breath and reached out to Octavia, taking a hand in mine, and took her chin so that she had no choice but to look at me, and said, “But there is something I want you to remember. Something that you need to believe with absolutely everything in you. Whatever happens. It’s not your fault. You weren’t the one that gave him the gun. You weren’t the one who pulled that trigger. You weren’t the one who plunged the knife into me. You weren’t the one who kicked Raven. That was _all_ Bellamy. It has _always_ been Bellamy. The others will most likely treat you differently just because you are related to him. It’s inevitable. But there are others here who will support you and stand by your side because we know that you are not him. That what he’s done doesn’t reflect who you are. Do you understand, Octavia? You are not him.”

I let her head go and watched her intently as she seemed to war within herself. Then tears began to fall down her face. And that broke something inside of me so, I tugged her hand, and she crawled onto my lap, hugging me and crying into my chest. I just held her, soothing and comforting her as much as I could. I realized that no one had ever done this for her. Shown her unconditional support. She was known as the girl under the floor or Bellamy’s sister or the Sister. But no one had ever said to her that they see _her_. That they see Octavia as a person. I knew what that was like. I lived that every day I wasn’t home. But Deke and Ben reminded me that I wasn’t the person the clans saw. That was just a mask I wore. They reminded me that I was more. That they saw _me_. They saw Harlee.

So, like the comfort and support they had just given me, I, in return, gave to Octavia. Because like me, Octavia had been forgotten amongst the masks she was forced to wear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. Now, you may have noticed something. Normally, I italicize any words that are _Trigedasleng_ , but this time I didn't. Let me explain why. For some reason, when I bold the POV and use the right commands (meaning I'm not missing anything), it bolds the entire freaking chapter! So, I have to edit and remove all the wrong commands. Or delete and do it all over again. And this was a looong chapter to do that with. So, I said fuck it and only italicized the words that needed to be stressed. And decided that from now on, if the conversation is happening between two people who speak Trig, I'm not gonna italicize the specific Trig. word (like Heda) The only time that will happen now is if there is a member of _Skaikru_ present and clan members are speaking _Gonasleng_. I didn't do this before because the words used may not be familiar to you or I just invented it for the story. I was being considerate, I think? I don't know, but that's what I'm going with.
> 
> Anyway, yeah. Okay, yeah, I'm good. I may need a nap, lol. So, as always, I hope you enjoyed it and comments are always appreciated. Until tomorrow.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. I apologize for the wait, but these last two days have been difficult for me. I suffer from anxiety and depression. Since the quarantine started, it's been steadily getting worse. I only left my house once last week. There are things that I need to take care of but I keep putting it off due to my anxiety. Anyway, yesterday was bad. I tried to work on the chapter and not five minutes later, all I wanted to do was sleep. Today was a little bit better, but it was still dragging me down. But tomorrow is a new day and gods willing, my mental state improves with it like it did today.
> 
> But this chapter was also difficult to write. I didn't want to give too much information away. Not to you, my readers, and not to the characters. So, what you read was done purposefully. I'm not a hundred percent satisfied, but after reading it over several times, this was the result.
> 
> So, here it is. Chapter 21.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind.

We sat there for so long that Octavia eventually cried herself to exhaustion and fell asleep. Hearing the deep breathing even out, I shifted a bit and made us more comfortable, but kept her in my arms. I knew on an intuitive level that Octavia needed that contact. And knowing that I would be here a while, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Feeling my own exhaustion pulling me down.

I don’t know how long I slept, but a knock on the camp side roused me. I blinked a few times until everything came into focus and looked to see Clarke looking back at me nervously. I motioned her inside. She came in but left the cloth open to let the last of the daylight seep in.

Noticing who I had in my arms, her eyes widened in shock, “Is that…”

I nodded, smiling down at the sleeping brunette, “Yeah. I went for a walk—”

“You went for a walk?! You just woke up from blood loss and getting stabbed, Harlee,” Clarke glared down at me. “You need to rest and recover. A stab wound is way more serious than cat scratches. What if you had torn your stitches, huh? You could have bled out. And I bet you were alone, too. Do you have any sense of self-preservation?!”

“Clarke,” I harshly spoke, but still mindful of Octavia asleep, “it was a _walk_. There’s nothing strenuous about walking. If I had done what I wanted to do, you’d still be patching people up, and I’d be bleeding out. I needed to calm down without putting anyone in danger. Clarke, I’m not like other people. Besides quickly healing, I am _violent_ when I’m upset. By taking that walk, I was acting in everyone’s best interests, including my own.”

Clarke seemed to deflate and crouched down, “Will you at least let me take a look and make sure that you haven’t torn any of your stitches?”

“No,” I replied. “I didn’t tear any, and besides, I’m not moving any time soon while Octavia is sleeping against me.”

“What happened to her anyway,” Clarke asked, accepting my refusal, albeit reluctantly.

“Octavia’s had an emotional couple of days,” I answered, stroking the brunette’s back soothingly. “And Bellamy’s the root cause.”

Running a hand through her hair in frustration, Clarke said, “I don’t know what to do about him, Harlee. I _know_ that I can’t let what he did slide. He nearly killed you and hurt Raven. I know that he’s been an asshole with his whole ‘whatever the hell we want’ mantra. And I know that he doesn’t want the Ark to come down, but why? And are these all connected?”

“I can answer those questions, Clarke,” I said, gazing over at her. “I wanted to talk with you, Wells, and Raven about that. And a couple of other things. I think it might be a good idea to talk about them before you speak with the Council.”

“Are you better,” Clarke asked, regarding me through serious blue eyes.

I nodded, “I am. The walk and speaking with Octavia helped. So, now would probably be a good time. I also think that Octavia needs to hear this too. Even after all he’s done, Bellamy is still her brother.”

Clarke nodded and stood up with a groan, “Then I’ll go and bring them here.”

“Thank you,” I quietly replied. “Clarke, I’m not used to this. I’m not good at connecting with people outside sex. But I’m trying. Just try and be patient with me.”

Clarke smiled, walked over, kneeled in front of me and took my chin in her hand, “I can see that, Harlee. And I think you’re doing okay connecting with people. If you weren’t, I doubt Octavia would’ve been comfortable falling asleep curled up in your arms. No matter how exhausted she was. You don’t give yourself enough credit, Harlee.”

I blushed and tried to duck my head, but Clarke held firm. Clarke chuckled at my attempt and then leaned in to kiss me. It was soft, quick, and chaste. There was nothing sexual about the kiss. And I felt nothing but the message she was conveying. Reassurance. 

Clarke smiled a few inches from my face, stroking her thumb against my bottom lip, and softly said, “I think that underneath this tough guy act, you have a huge heart, Harlee. I hope that one day, you dare to show the world.”

I couldn’t help it, I snorted. Not because I found it an incredulous idea, but rather, it was an echo of what Ben had just got done telling me. Or rather, reminding me.

Clarke backed up her head in surprise, and I reached up to removed her hand to shake my head in mirth.

“Clarke, I don’t think the world would survive if it knew,” I said, squeezing her hand in thanks. “But I think it’ll be okay when I find people that are important to me to know the truth behind your words. For now, let the world fear me so that I can find those people, hmm?”

Clarke huffed, smiling as she stood up, “You are something else, Harlee. I’ll be back with the others.”

“We’ll still be here,” I replied, smiling up at her.

“You better be,” Clarke said as she walked out of the hut.

“Did you guys have to kiss over me,” Octavia grumbled as she sat up away from me and rubbed her eyes.

I chuckled, “Hey, that wasn’t my idea. That was pure Clarke. And it’s not like it was a deep kiss or anything like that. It was quick. Chaste.”

Octavia grimaced as she crawled off my lap to stand up and stretch, “It’s still gross. Like what I imagine, a Mom and Dad do in front of their kids.”

I used the wall behind me to push myself up, grimacing as pain shot through my stomach, “We are not the Mom and Dad, and you are not our kid. And anyway, I don’t see Clarke like that. At all.”

“Then what was with all the flirting and stuff,” Octavia asked, starting to gather wood for a fire.

“That was me messing with her and trying to initiate something more,” I replied, moving to the hidden entrance. “Can you start a fire without burning the place down?”

Octavia looked up at me from the wood, “Yeah, why?”

“I haven’t eaten in two days, and I need something more substantial than whatever’s available in the camp. Since we’re going to reveal Lincoln, I figure we might as well take advantage of it and get some real food. Unless you want nuts and berries,” I said, opening the entrance up.

“No! No, real food sounds good,” she hastily replied. “You think Lincoln’s out there right now?”

I looked over my shoulder at her and saw the look of excitement and something else on her face, and I smirked, “Yes, and no, you’re not coming. He’s going to be in enough trouble for escorting you around already; we don’t need to make it worse. Unlike you, I can move unseen.”

Octavia pouted, “Not fair. You’ve had more time to practice.”

I smirked, halfway in and out the entrance, “Only because I left camp while you stayed pouting. But don’t worry, you’ll get your chance to learn. That’s something I can promise you. Okay?”

Octavia sighed and then nodded, “Okay.”

“Good. I won’t be long,” I said and ducked out of the entrance, closing it behind me.

I stepped far enough away from that camp that I didn’t feel its oppressive structure behind me then whistled. In less than a couple of heartbeats, Avil dropped down from the trees and immediately kneeled before me.

“Oh, get up, skrishmelon,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You didn’t fail me, and you don’t need to offer your life to make amends. It is only because you listened to Ben that I am alive, Avil.”

“But—” Avil began to argue, not daring to look up at me.

I pulled him up by his arm, “But nothing, Av. There was no way either of us could have predicted Belomi was that much of a coward. But rest assured, I will make sure that the boy comes to our hands for the attempt on my life. Now, stop your arguing. I don’t have much time.”

“Sha, Heda,” Avil replied and looked at me expectantly.

“There has been a development. It seems that Okteivia has found her way to Linkon kom Trikru. I intend to make the most of it. I am about to meet with Klark, Wels, en Reivon to discuss Belomi and reveal that I know more than I have let on. Linkon is essential to this new narrative. So one, make sure that Onya does not harm him too badly. I need him to be able to meet with Okteivia for this to work. And two, I am _starving_ so please, go and fetch us some dinner. Enough to feed five. Oh, and something to drink besides my mead Ben gifted me with.”

Avil grinned, “Sha, I know how protective you are of your mead, Lee. Is there anything else?”

I shoved Avil’s shoulder and glared at him, “I am not that bad, but yes. Make it known to all the scouts that Okteivia is to be allowed the freedom to move in the forest. I have a feeling she will only be traveling to Linkon’s cave, but she is impulsive. If she gets close to our camps or the villages, have her _gently_ steered away.”

“Then I will go and do as you requested, Wocha,” Avil said, nodding. “I will leave the food and drink outside the entrance.”

“Mochof, Av. I need to get back,” I replied, walking back. “Thank you, Av, for making sure that I survived.”

“Always, Lee. Always,” Avil said in return.

I entered the hut silently to find Octavia studying the skins, making me smirk. Once I had closed the entrance, I walked up to her and leaned over her shoulder, “You know it’s rude to go through other people’s belongings, Octavia.”

Octavia jumped several feet in the air and tossed the skins against the wall. They hit it with a thud but did not break as they fell to the ground. Octavia spun, glaring at me as she clutched her chest.

“Don’t fucking _do_ that, Harlee,” Octavia screeched as she groped her way back to the closest wall to find support. “Goddamn, I think I lost a few years.”

I chuckled and retrieved the skins from where they had fallen and set them on a small shelf along the back wall. When I turned, she had returned to sitting on my bedroll, glaring at me, and still clutching her chest.

“You should know better than to be nosy. Especially with someone who a few hours ago had a knife to your throat,” I admonished her as I joined her on the bedroll. “If you want to know what something is, simply ask.”

“Fine,” she grumbled. “What’s in those pouches?”

“The green one is to help me sleep without nightmares. It’s potent and addictive so, I can’t drink it more than a few days. The other is a honey mead. Alcohol made from extract bees make. It’s sweet but can get you drunk quickly. I wouldn’t recommend drinking it on an empty stomach,” I replied.

“Nightmares,” Octavia questioned, looking worried.

I nodded, “Speaking about my past with you and Clarke have brought them back. I woke from one earlier, which was why I was walking through the forest. Lincoln knows a bit, and when the other scouts told him, he offered it to me with the warnings.”

“How did—wait did you say, scouts,” Octavia looked at me in surprise.

I sighed and nodded again, “Yes. I told you we were being observed, Octavia. Scouts observe, but I’ll explain more when the others get here.”

Octavia nodded though she pouted slightly, “Okay, then back to my question. How did the scouts know you had a nightmare?”

I blushed slightly, “I was very loud, waking up. And then when I was walking, I was mumbling, I guess. They overheard what I was saying.”

“But why tell Lincoln,” Octavia asked, but she was interrupted by a knock on the camp side of my hut.

“You can come in,” I called out, and we watched as first Clarke, Wells, but no Raven.

I couldn’t hide the disappointment I felt not seeing Raven, so I quickly ducked my head, but not quick enough to keep Clarke from noticing. Clarke crouched beside me and nudged me with her shoulder, making me look up. She had my bag in her hands.

“Raven still had a few bugs to work out on the radio,” Clarke said, a sad and understanding smile on her face. “But she wanted me to give you this. Everything’s in there.”

I nodded and took it from her, setting it behind her, “Thank you.”

“Hey, just give her some time, Harlee,” Clarke quietly said. “We’ve never seen you like that, and it scared the shit outta us.”

I sighed, “I know, and I’m sorry.”

“I’ve already forgiven you, and so has Wells,” she replied, gesturing to the boy who stood awkwardly at the door.

Seeing the gesture, he stepped forward and nodded, “Yeah, Harlee. There’s nothing to forgive. I may not understand, but it’s not as uncommon here as you think.”

“Thank you, Wells,” I replied. “I still feel shitty about it. But I want you to know that I wasn’t angry at you. I was angry at myself because I opened up about myself. The nightmare was a result of that. I haven’t thought or spoken of my past in years. I guess there’s still a lot of pent up things that need to be dealt with.”

Wells nodded and sat down by the fire, “Yeah, trauma of any kind can lead to that kind of response. As I said, there’s nothing to forgive, and you don’t have to explain any more than you have.”

I warmly smiled at him, “Thank you. You’re a pretty good guy, Wells. I’m trying to figure out how you ended up with a father like Jaha. Just speaking to him, and I could tell he’s an asshole.”

Wells chuckled, “I can’t disagree with you there, Harlee. He wasn’t always like that. I think losing my mother hurt him more than he’ll ever admit. He just wasn’t the same afterward.”

I nodded, “I’ll take your word for it. But, I guess we should get down to it, yeah? We’ve got a lot to talk about. What should we start with?”

Clarke settled next to me and replied, “How about we start with where you’ve been, Octavia? And why you look like you took a tumble down a hill.”

Octavia swallowed nervously and looked to me. I just nodded encouragingly, and she took a deep breath.

“Well, you see, it all started the night the pod fell,” Octavia began, and I drowned her out as my thoughts returned to Raven.

I had a feeling that there was another reason Raven didn’t come. That I was the reason. I had seen the hurt and pain behind her anger as I stared her down. As I turned my anger on her. If there was one thing I was good at besides killing. It was turning people against me. However, it was rare that anyone ever saw the full force of my anger. I hated myself for turning the anger I felt for myself onto Raven. Since the moment I laid eyes on her, I had felt something stir, and suddenly those ancient sonnets and poems I had read as a child gained meaning. From the moment I had discovered where my attraction lay, I had never felt anything close to what I felt with Raven. It was like I could suddenly breathe or like I hadn’t been living. Not until I saw Raven. Then she had opened her eyes, and it was the explosion you see when two great objects collide. Both awe-inspiring and frightening. And by the Gods, did it frighten me. I felt inadequate, unworthy standing next to her. For the first time, all my confidence fled to leave me a bumbling fool who relied on muscle memory to get through our conversations.

And when I had seen Bellamy strike Raven, my heart seized in fear. Even as my sight began to fade, and my body begged me to rest, I fought through it all just to stand. I know why, and it wasn’t because he was hurting an innocent person. No, far from it. I fought through the pain and death creeping on me for her. For Raven. I prayed to the Gods that if I should die, give me the strength to save Raven. Because Raven is special. Raven is worth more than my life. And the Gods granted me that strength and Raven still lives. And that was all that mattered to me. It still matters to me. And that’s why I had to make it right between us. Even if nothing ever came out of knowing her, Raven matters.

I was drawn out of my thoughts by a familiar bird call near the back wall of the hut. I blinked a few times before getting up. That attracted the attention of everyone, but for a moment, I ignored them. I drew open the entrance and stepped through. Avil was waiting for me with a smile and his arms full. I rolled my eyes at the bounty but gave him my thanks and walked back inside.

“Holy—” Octavia giddily exclaimed as Clarke burst out with, “What is all this?”

I smirked, set down the bounty, and turned back to close the entrance. I carried it all over and sat down, setting everything up as Clarke and Wells stared at me expectantly.

“Well,” Clarke demanded, glaring at me suspiciously.

I handed her a bowl and shrugged, “I know Lincoln too.”

Clarke took the bowl, “How?”

“I saved his life,” I casually replied, smirking internally at how easily Clarke was getting flustered.

“We need more than that,” Clarke said after taking her first bite and moaning at the flavor. “Oh, God, this is so good. What is this?”

I peered down in the bowl I was making, “Um, Venison and vegetable stew, I think.”

“Fuck me,” Octavia said, stuffing her mouth with stew and continuing to talk. “Is this what food is supposed to taste like?”

I chuckled, “It is when you know what to look for and how to cook. As to Lincoln and me, my saving his life created a life debt. Basically, until he saves my life or the equivalent, he sorta has to watch out for me. And since he’s a nice guy, he felt that teaching me to survive is part of that. In return, I trade him most of what I hunt. Besides teaching me how to hunt better and identify mutated plants, he’s been teaching me about his culture and people.”

Realization dawned on Wells’ face, “That’s why you wanted to talk to us before we spoke with the Council. We need to know what we’re dealing with before mucking things up even more than we have.”

I nodded and broke off a piece of bread that had been included. Handing it to him, I said, “Right. And from what I’ve heard about the people and Council on the Ark, there’s going to be problems. Mainly everyone’s superiority complex. That shit won’t go down well with the locals. Especially not their main leader or the leader of the people Lincoln belongs too.”

“Hold on. There’s more than one leader,” Clarke asked, confused.

I nodded and began breaking down the clans and culture. I was interrupted plenty of times during the conversation. The hardest part was keeping the information vague while still informative. I kept having to reiterate that there were language barriers even though that would only happen in villages among the commoners. Which is not something I shared with them.

“You’re right,” Wells sighed, setting his bowl aside and leaning his elbows on his knees. “Even as you’ve explained things, I kept thinking that the Grounders are primitive. But just because they don’t use technology to the level we do or use weapons like we do, it doesn’t mean that they are. It sounds like their society is just drastically different from ours. This is definitely going to cause issues during any negotiations between the Council and their leader, the Commander.”

“It’s not just the Commander they have to worry about,” I said. “It’s the clan leaders too. Can they guarantee where they’ll land?”

Wells scratched his head as he thought, “In theory, yes. But the problem is we’re dealing with equipment several centuries old that has barely been maintained. I mean, we were meant to land closer to Mount Weather, but ended twenty miles off course.”

I mulled his words over and replied, “This means that even though they could aim for spots around the dropship, they could still end up anywhere along clan lands. Even landing in the ocean.”

“Right, but that’s not the only issue,” Clarke pointed out. “The main problem will be convincing the Council that they don’t have the right to the land they come down on. That they’re going to have to negotiate for it. From what it sounds like, the moment the Ark acts hostile, this Commander will act in kind. Just to protect the people.”

I nodded, “You’re not wrong. There’s something else too. We need to convince the Council that aligning with Mount Weather is a certified death wish. If the Commander sees them heading in that direction, Lincoln’s people _will_ attack.”

The three of them grimaced as Wells said, “I can’t even think where aligning ourselves with people who create monsters like you described the Reapers is a good move. I mean, kidnapping, killing, and turning the Grounders is just wrong. Why are they even doing all of it?”

I shrugged, “Anyone that’s ever gotten caught by the Mountain Men has never returned. Those that do, well, they’ll kill their family and friends without a second thought. Lincoln’s said that the Mountain releases the acid fog anytime a large enough group gets too close.”

“It’s like they kept all the evil that humans can do alive in that mountain,” Octavia said with a shudder. “Acid fog, Reapers. Chemical warfare and human experimentation. That’s just evil.”

Clarke and Wells agreed, then Clarke grimaced, “You know we’re going to have to manipulate your dad, Wells.”

Wells nodded and sighed in defeat, “I know. But if we don’t want war as soon as they land, we’re going to have to.”

“I think that’s something left up to you two,” I said. “Since you know them best.”

“Don’t remind me,” Clarke groaned. “Was that everything you know about the Grounders?”

I nodded and finished the stew in my bowl, “Yes. Anything new on Bellamy?”

“He’s still unconscious,” Clarke sighed. “I think the difference between the two of you is your genetics. If you didn’t have the healing factor, you’d still be out too.”

I nodded, “That’s most likely true. But what are you going to do when he wakes up?”

“Can we talk about what happened between you two first,” Clarke asked.

“I suppose,” I said. “When Bellamy got to the pod, we talked. About Octavia since he had attacked me the night before over her. I asked him why he showed up by himself, but he gave half-answers and became defensive when I pushed. I finally got him to admit that he shot Jaha, which I had already heard from Raven. Anyway, there was a lot of back and forth until I thought I had convinced him that there were other alternatives. Something besides condemning an entire people to die. But when we neared the pod, he attacked me from behind. I heard just enough to turn, but it wasn’t enough to stop him from stabbing me. He banged me against the pod a couple of times, dazing me. Then when he opened the hatch, Raven did what I told her. She stabbed him, and they fell out. But she turned back instead of running. That’s when he grabbed and tossed her to the ground. I started to get up, grabbing a rock when he started to kick her. I hit him in the head before he could kick her a third time. After that, it’s rather irrelevant.”

“What alternatives did you suggest,” Wells asked.

“I told him that he could turn over the name of the guy who put him up to it,” I replied. “Get a pardon that way. Or I said he could simply leave. When the Ark comes down, they’re not going to have the manpower or time to go chasing after him.”

He nodded, “Either would have worked. Dad would be eager to get the name of the person who tried to have him killed. Did Bellamy tell you?”

I nodded, “Some guard member. Shumway, I think.”

“So, everything that he’s done. From convincing everyone to take their bands off to his ‘whatever the hell we want’ mantra has been nothing but an attempt to escape the death penalty,” Wells stated. “It had nothing to do with freeing ourselves from the oppress laws of the Ark.”

“ _Bellamy_ ,” Octavia spoke, sneering at the word, “was willing to kill innocent people. Hundreds of innocent people because he was too scared to face what he’d done. I may not like the Council, and I certainly hate Jaha, but I would never agree to something like that. That isn’t my brother. Whoever that is in the dropship isn’t the brother that raised me.”

Seeing the hurt and anger radiating off Octavia, I pulled her to me. Wrapping an arm as she buried her head in my shoulder, seeking comfort.

I sighed and looked at Clarke and Wells, “I think you need to remember that at every step, Bellamy made a conscious decision. He could have said no. He could have turned Shumway over to Jaha. He could have confessed and worked with the two of you to get a pardon. He could have simply left though he probably wouldn’t have without Octavia. But he didn’t. Instead, he chose himself over everyone else. Bellamy’s even tried to convince the camp that we need to fight the Grounders. He’s proven that he can convince people to do things that, in the long run, are detrimental to the camp. He’s a liability to the safety of these people. Imprisoning him won’t be enough to stop him. But because we all lived, I can’t advocate for his death. As much as I want it.”

I felt Octavia shift her head, I looked down, and she was looking at Clarke, “His life isn’t worth more than ours, Clarke. And you need to show everyone here that you’re not like the Council. By punishing Bellamy for what he did to Harlee and Raven, you’re showing that no one person is more important than the other. That we’re all equal. And Harlee’s right, it’s risky to keep him here.”

“That leaves only one real solution then,” Clarke sighed. “We force him to leave camp. We banish him. Everything he’s done has been for his own benefit and not the camp’s. And we can’t trust that it won’t continue.”

“I could live with that,” I said, while inside knowing it would be perfect. Allowing my men to exact their justice for the attempt on my life. If it had been an accident, that would have been different. My men would have accepted it. Except, it wasn’t. It had been deliberate and done without a chance for me to defend myself. It had been a cowardly act. And for that, Bellamy must pay.

Octavia looked up at me, “I thought you wanted to tie him to a post and cut him until he died?”

Clarke and Wells choked in shock.

“You did what,” Clarke finally got out after sputtering for a minute.

I shrugged, “I was still angry. I told you I’m violent when I’m upset. But I’m calmer now, and I’d be satisfied with banishment. As a bonus, it gives Bellamy exactly what he wants. Freedom from the Council’s laws. You can’t punish the man if he isn’t here.”

“But that leaves him at the mercy of the Grounders,” Wells pointed out.

“And if he stays, he could end up starting a war with the Grounders,” I countered. “Better one life than the camp. Even after the pod’s arrival, Lincoln’s orders haven’t changed. Observe and report. I have a feeling that he’ll warn me if they do change.”

“Then I think it’s settled,” Clarke said, leaning back a bit. “We manipulate Jaha into staying friendly with the Grounders, and we banish Bellamy for the attempted murder of Harlee and Raven.”

“It’s fair,” Wells replied, as he thought. “But we wait until Bellamy’s well enough to travel. Until then, we keep him restrained and locked on the third level. As for my father, we should plan a contingency to make sure certain information is released to the public. It’ll keep him from laying out false promises.”

Clarke nodded, frowning slightly, “Yeah. Raven’s already said that she can get the radio to broadcast Ark-wide. We don’t let it slip that we can do that, and use threats for now. It’d be great if we had someone Ark-side to make sure, but even if my mother’s still alive, I don’t trust her. Aunt Callie might, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to talk to her without Jaha or Kane present.”

“I think you guys are delving into a conversation that neither Octavia nor I need to be a part of,” I said. “And it’s getting late. Talk amongst yourselves to get figure things out and start laying the groundwork in the morning.”

Clarke looked over me with concern, “Are you feeling okay? Is your stomach starting to hurt too much?”

“It’s been a long day, Clarke,” I said with a soft smile. “My pain level isn’t any more or less what it has been. Plus, I can’t go to sleep until I try to talk to Raven.”

“Alright,” Clarke agreed. “Come on, Wells. We can continue this in my tent.”

He stood up, stretching, “Sounds good. We’ll keep you informed, Harlee. You’ve been a big help and deserve that.”

I nodded and nudged Octavia, “Thank you. I’ll stop by your tent in the morning, Clarke. That way, you can change my bandage and check the stitches.”

Clarke nodded, having already joined Wells at the entrance, “Just wait until the sun has already risen. I know you like to be up before dawn.”

I chuckled, “Okay. Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With a wave, they left. I sighed and started making another bowl. This one specifically for Raven. Octavia wrapped her arms around her legs and watched me. I glanced over and saw a pensive look on her face.

“What is it, Octavia,” I asked.

“Do you think I should continue to see Lincoln,” Octavia asked, looking at me.

I shrugged, “It’s up to you what you do, Octavia. But from what I learned about him, he’s a good guy. It wouldn’t hurt to set up something like I have with him. You can learn a lot from him. And until I’m healed, I can’t do much of anything. I’m going to be stuck in the camp for the foreseeable future. But the choice is yours.”

She bit her lip and then resolutely nodded before standing up, “Yeah. Okay. You’re right. The choice is mine. But I have another question. Do you think that I’m a bad person for being okay with Bellamy’s banishment? I mean, he’s my brother. Shouldn’t I want him released?”

I joined her by the entrance, and we started heading to the main camp, “No, it doesn’t make you a bad person. You can love someone as much as you want, but it shouldn’t blind you to wrongdoing. Support them through it all. But Bellamy _hurt_ people, Octavia. He hurt people because he was a coward and didn’t want to face the consequences. He used you as an excuse to justify it, but that’s all it was an excuse. There was no good reason to do what he did.”

We stopped outside a tent, and Octavia looked at me, “Thank you, Harlee. For everything. Especially these talks. You don’t talk to me like I’m a child or that I’m an idiot. You don’t treat me like one either. I didn’t realize I needed something or someone like that in my life. Not until I woke up from that nap. Thank you for that.”

I smiled, “You’re welcome. I don’t treat you like a child because you’re not. Nor are you an idiot. You’re a bright young woman, and I see potential in you, Octavia. All you need is a chance to prove it to yourself. And you will. I’m just giving you the support you need to see that.”

“You’re going to make me cry if you keep that up, Harlee,” Octavia said, looking up to the sky and blinking.

“Even the strongest person needs to cry, Octavia,” I said. “It doesn’t make them weak. Rather it takes greater strength to be that vulnerable. And anyway, crying helps release all that emotion that’s stuck inside you. It’s better than beating the shit outta people or things. Easier on the hands too.”

Octavia laughed, “See, even that’s helpful. You should probably get that to Raven before it grows colder.”

I nodded, looking at what I had in my hands, “I should. I’ll see you tomorrow, Octavia.”

“Good night, Harlee. And good luck,” she replied, reaching out and squeezing my shoulder in comfort.

“Thank you,” I said and continued the walk to the dropship, dread, and nerves building each step of the way.

This was not going to be easy.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies. Thank you for all the support you've been giving me. Not only by your continued reading, but taking the time out of your day to leave a comment. You two know who you are. I woke up this morning feeling much, much better. Who knew that I only needed two hours of sleep to do it, lol. Or maybe it was the 4 a.m. conversation I had with my son. But whatever it was, it was needed and appreciated. Which led me to knocking this chapter out pretty quick. And as a reward for y'all's awesomeness, I give it to you early.
> 
> Now, on a side note. I had two chorus lines running through my head. Though their lyrics have no relevance to the chapter. The first one was "Hurt" by Papa Roach. The second, "Lost and Alone" by From Ashes to New. Papa Roach has been one of my favorites since they came to the mainstream. From Ashes to New has been a recent addition when I started to listen to I Prevail on Pandora. So, I admit that I'm a bit of a rocker, but I listen to most genres of music. But I think my son has me beat with wide tastes, because believe me, some of what I hear from his room leaves me scratching my head sometimes. I mean, who goes from Russian marching songs to sailor ditties to '80s pop? But that's what he likes and to each his own. I still love the shithead.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy and remember to be kind.

My heart felt as if it would beat itself right out of my chest as I walked up the ramp of the dropship. I had never felt this nervous nor scared in my entire life. Not even when I ascended to Trikova Heda. I shouldn’t have felt this way. I’d spoken and apologized to many women before. But if I was honest with myself, this was different. This wasn’t just some woman I had wronged. This was a woman that had enthralled me the moment I removed the helmet from her head. A woman that had captivated me the moment her chocolate brown eyes fluttered open. Drawn me in with a sharp wit and an even sharper tongue. There was no doubt, Raven had bewitched me, and that frightened the ever-loving skrish out of me.

I sighed as I came to the curtain, cursing the way my hands subtly trembled. My entire body shook with nerves, but I knew this was something that needed to be done. My heart demanded it, and though I was loathed to obey, compulsion moved me forward. I heavily treaded past the curtain to keep from startling anyone inside. 

Letting my eyes adjust to the dim interior, I found Raven working on the radio. Back curled over the table, head bent low, and turned away from the entrance. I stood there for a long moment simply watching her, thinking that I could probably watch her forever and never grow bored.

“I said I’m fine, Clarke,” Raven spoke, not bothering to check to see who had come in.

I cleared my throat, my feet carrying me forward, “I’m not Clarke. I thought you might be hungry and had saved you some of our dinner.”

Raven stopped what she was doing and for a breath or two, said nothing. Then, “Well, you can take it right back out. Give it away or throw it out. I don’t care. I’ve eaten anyway.”

I stopped next to the table and set the bowl, bread, and a cup of my mead on a clear space, “Do with it what you will, Raven. But I went to a lot of effort fighting Octavia off to keep this for you. I hope you will reconsider.”

“Fine,” Raven slightly growled. “If that’s it, you can leave now. I’m swamped and there’s a lot to do.”

I sighed, my chest filling with shame at her words, “I will leave you alone, Raven. But I still owe you a conversation. And if you will grant me the courtesy, I would like a chance to apologize and explain my actions. It does not have to be now. I am willing to wait until you are ready. Have a pleasant evening, Raven.”

With those words, I bowed my head to her and walked away. Torn to make it right immediately while knowing that I needed to let Raven decide. So, I walked out of the dropship and eased myself down on the ramp. I was tired, but I wasn’t ready to sleep yet. Dreading what I needed even though I knew the tonic Ben gave me would allow me to sleep unencumbered. I knew why I stayed. It wasn’t just dreading sleep; it was hope keeping me here. I hoped that Raven would come out searching for me. If only to throw the food back at me.

As I sat and hoped, I let my mind wander where it wanted. Ghosting passed memories of Before and sending them back into the deepest corner. My gaze lingering between the starry night and the camp as it settled. After the emotional ups and downs of the day, and being in the middle of the camp, I found it oddly peaceful. Oh, I still worried about Raven and if she’d give me time, but there was something about the evening that settled me. Something about the sounds of a camp quieting down and the stars above that allowed peace and hope to stay present.

Unfortunately, it didn’t last. Movement among the tents caught my eye, and I looked to see the figure of Finn walking to the dropship. I curled my lip in disgust, seeing him. Having heard the reports of the scouts about his behavior before my arrival. How he flirted and charmed his way among the girls in the camp. 

Of course, the scouts found it hilarious that these boys bragged about themselves and the girls they took into tents. I had seen and heard it myself, and it was ridiculous that they considered themselves great lovers when nothing lasted more than an hour and girls leaving tents disorganized and disappointed. Their ideas of what they regarded as great sex were woefully inaccurate and just another reminder of our cultural differences. I knew that some of their whispered brags were utterly false. Boys hesitant to look weak in front of their peers and therefore created exaggerated exploits. They didn’t know that though the girls talked about them and giggled as they pointed, it wasn’t because the boys were being praised. They were being laughed at because the girls found them inadequate lovers. I briefly wondered if this was the same among all the Skaikru or if it was just these children.

But Finn kept coming, and I could see a scowl on his face when he sighted me. I sighed, wondering what kind of foolish thought provoked this look towards me.

Finn stopped a few feet from me and as intimidating as he could, spoke, “You need to stay away from them.”

I wanted to laugh at his poor imitation but was able to suppress it down to an amused expression. Eyebrow quirked and a smirk across my lips.

“You’ll have to be more specific, Finn,” I drawled, lazily gesturing to the camp. “There’s ninety-plus people here.”

“Clarke and Raven,” Finn bit out, his scowl deepening and his stance tensing.

I tilted my head at him in feigned curiosity, “And why would I do that? If they did not want my company, all they have to do is say so.”

“Clarke and Raven are good people,” Finn answered. “They don’t need the likes of you damaging their reputation.”

“The likes of me,” I repeated, my smirk fading to be replaced by a cold look. “And just what is it about me that would damage their reputation?”

“You’re a violent criminal,” Finn said as if it were obvious. “You’re a freak. You’re a violent freak that just uses women.”

My jaw clenched, and my hands formed fists at my sides as I stood up slowly. If there was one word that was a surefire way to anger me in a millisecond, it was freak or frikdreina in our language. The term was used to describe those who had the misfortune of being born with deformities, from either genetics or the radiation that still occasionally poisoned us. Before I rose to lead my people, those born such were either killed or left for dead in the Dead Zone. Thought to be a stain on the bloodlines and the clans' misguided efforts to stay healthy. I knew differently, and when I could, I offered them a home. I wasn’t always able to save them, and I wasn’t always able to convince them, but I did what I could. I hated that word because my parents had used it against me. To change my mind about what I knew to be true.

And now this _boy_. This stupid, ignorant boy dared call me that. People had died for lesser insults. With a restraint that surprised me, I kept my hand away from my knife and didn’t immediately kill him. Because I knew what he was doing. Finn was trying to get me to hurt him just to prove his words. To turn Clarke and Raven against me. I wasn’t going to give in to him. No matter how much I wanted to.

Instead, I took a slow breath, and I felt myself go blank. No expression. No vocal intonation. I was stone. My men knew, and my enemies knew as well, that when that happened, I was at my deadliest.

“I am violent,” I agreed. “I am a criminal. But I am not a freak. Nor do I use women in the sense you are implying. Do I have needs? Yes. I am human. Do I seek out women to fulfill those needs? Yes. But each woman I take to bed understands that it will never be anything but that moment. That I am not looking for anything besides fulfilling a need. I make no promises beyond pleasure. They understand this and are left satisfied.”

I walked closer to Finn and internally smirked when he took a step back before tensing himself as preparing for a fight. I would not give him that. I would not give him the satisfaction.

“If anyone here uses women, it’s you, Finn,” I said. “You have a girlfriend. One that was left on the Ark and risked her life to join you. Out of love. But the moment you stepped foot on this planet, you have flirted and charmed your way into any and every girl’s bed. I have heard the talk. From both sides. How you brag to your peers. And how the girls voice their disappointment. Yet you never spoke of your girlfriend. Never once mentioned her. Never once said her name. And I know why. You never spoke of her because you knew that most of these girls would turn you down. That _Clarke_ would turn you down. If anyone has sullied reputations, it’s been you. If anything happened between you and Clarke the night _and_ day you disappeared, you made Clarke the other woman. You betrayed Raven’s trust and love. Cheapened Raven’s bravery.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Finn yelled and started drawing the attention of those still awake. “You were never around. You have no clue what people have said.”

“Just because you did not see me, it does not mean I did not hear. I can ask Dax or Lisa or Guy or Katie right now. What do you think they would say?”

“They wouldn’t say a damn thing because they don’t know anything,” Finn growled.

I looked over his shoulder to the crowd and spotted Katie, “Katie, did Finn ever once mention he had a girlfriend?”

“He has a what,” Katie screeched. “Are you fucking kidding me?! You fucking asshole! You told me that you’d never had sex before and that what we had was special!”

I saw another girl, Amanda, look at Katie in surprise, “Wait. He used that line on you, too? I can’t believe I fell for that shit. Fucking asshole! Can I ask? Did you even get off?”

Katie snorted, “Fuck, no. I had to finish myself off because he fell immediately asleep after he was done.”

Amanda laughed, and a few other girls did too. This made Finn angrier, and he shouted at everyone to shut up.

Finn turned back to look at me, angry scowl firmly planted on his face and turning him ugly, “This is your fucking fault! They’re mine!”

“No one is yours, Finn,” I replied, calm, belying the anger I felt rumbling underneath my skin. “People are not possessions. We _choose_ who we want to be with. Either for sex or friendship or something deeper and more meaningful. This is no one’s fault but yours, Finn. If there were even one decent bone in your body, you would apologize for your lies and the hurt you’ve caused. But you won’t because you’re nothing but a selfish bastard.”

“Shut up! Shut Up! SHUT UP!” Finn screamed. “SHUT UP, YOU FUCKING FREAK!”

I nearly jumped forward to attack him but held back with the barest of threads. I decided that one last barb would send him over the edge.

“I know why you’re doing this, Finn,” I casually spoke. “You feel threatened by me. You’ve seen how both Clarke and Raven took care of me after I was stabbed. You’ve seen Clarke leave my hut several times. You’ve seen how Raven watched protectively over my things. And you’ve probably heard about the night I spent with Bree and Roma.”

“No one got any sleep, ya bitch,” some guy yelled out.

“Neither did I,” I yelled back, eliciting some laughs and exclamations of shock. “But back to what I was saying. You’ve seen that I have grown close to them. All that makes you feel threatened. So, you’re hoping that with the right provocation, I’ll attack you. Probably claim that I did it for no reason except for maybe jealousy. Hoping that they’ll hate me and turn to comfort you. And hoping that they won’t figure out that you’re playing them. That you’re using them for your own gain. That they’re too stupid to see that you’re with both of them. That’s what you want, right? That was your goal tonight, wasn’t it?”

“Fuck you,” Finn replied and charged at me.

I neatly sidestepped Finn as he went past. He tripped but caught himself against the dropship as I turned to face him.

“Face it, Finn,” I said, taking a few steps back and noticing a shadow behind the curtain. “It’s not going to work. Just tuck your tail between your legs and leave to lick your wounds. Hope that either Clarke or Raven will talk to you again. Hope that one of them forgives you and takes you back.”

“Shut up,” Finn yelled and came at me again.

I moved out of the way again, and this time he went sprawling to the ground. He got up and came at me a third time.

“FINN! STOP!” Raven screamed at him from the entrance, but he was too far gone to stop.

I knew I could keep doing this, but I also knew I needed to stop it. So, the next time Finn came at me, I let him connect. We went slamming into the ground, and I winced as my head connected with the dirt. I swiftly moved until I had him in a hold and pinched a nerve that rendered him unconscious. The moment he went limp, I rolled him off me, and several hands immediately stepped in to help me up. I grabbed one, and with a grimace of pain, I stood up. I thanked whoever it was, surprised to see that it was the aloof and sarcastic Murphy who had helped me.

Now that the show was over, everyone started to disperse, but Roma and Bree approached as I knelt to check on Finn.

“Babe, are you alright,” Bree asked, sharing a worried look with Roma.

I smiled up at them, “I’m fine. Thank you. But, uh, you know nothings going to happen, right?”

“We know,” Roma said with a smile. “We just wanted to make sure you were okay and tell you that what Bellamy did was fucked up. And also to tell you that you are a _freak_ , but only in bed. And that Finn’s wrong about you in every other regard.”

“Thank you, Roma,” I said, standing up with a grimace as my stomach started to hurt more. “You guys take care of each other. Alright?”

They shared another look, and both girls stepped close. First, Bree leaned in to kiss me and then Roma did the same.

“We will, Harlee,” Bree replied, and they walked away.

I watched them for a moment before sighing and looking back down at Finn. Trying to figure out what to do with him.

“Just leave him there if he’s still alive,” Raven said as she came to stand opposite me.

“He’s still alive,” I replied, glancing at her. “I only pinched a nerve that knocks him out. I’m sorry you had to hear any of that. You shouldn’t have had to hear about his infidelity that way.”

Raven sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, “I thought something had been going on. I saw the looks Finn was giving Clarke. I confronted Clarke about it earlier, and she confirmed that he never talked about me. I just…I love him, Harlee.”

I wanted to walk over and wrap my arms around her and comfort her, but I stayed in place.

Instead, I said, “I know you do, Raven. I know that he practically saved your life. That you consider Finn family. But what he did was wrong. He betrayed your love and trust. He betrayed that bond between you. It’s up to you if you want to forgive him and try to make things work. But allow yourself time to process everything you’re feeling. Don’t rush into forgiveness or someone else’s bed. Make sure that you leave nothing to regret. And if you’re going to be angry at anyone, make sure that they deserve it. The girls he slept with, Clarke, they didn’t know. He played them, and Finn would have continued to play them and you. And for Gods’ sake, don’t be angry at yourself. Nothing you could have done or said would have kept him loyal.”

“Aren’t you just full of sage advice,” Raven sarcastically replied.

“Comes from reading self-help books and psychology books,” I said with a shrug. “The guards on the Ark thought it would help me. Who knew it’d turn me into a sage.”

“I’m not ready to forgive you, Harlee,” Raven said, looking up at me.

I nodded, “I’m okay with that. I hurt you, Raven. Even though I have my reasons, it doesn’t make it okay. Whenever you’re ready to listen, I’ll be ready to talk. If you’ll excuse me, I need to find Clarke. That fall tore a couple of the stitches.”

“Shit, Harlee,” Raven said, taking a step towards me. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because there are more important things than me bleeding a bit,” I said with a soft smile. “I wanted to make sure you were okay and that you know none of this is your fault. Just this sorry excuse for a boy’s. And that no matter what happens between you and me, I will _always_ put your needs above my own. Goodnight, Raven.”

Raven stood there and blinked a few times before finally saying, “Goodnight, Harlee.”

Once more, I bowed my head to her and walked away. I may not have liked what happened tonight and that it caused Raven more pain, but I felt better that it seemed that not all hope was lost. Not when it came to Raven and me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I hope you liked how I wrote Finn's comeuppance. I made him worse than the show did because there was no way he would have stopped flirting with just Clarke and Octavia. No way. The names of the girls came from the list from the 100's wiki fandom site, if I remember correctly. I actually made a spreadsheet with the names of the 100 for another story. What we do for authenticity, right?
> 
> But I don't think this will be the last confrontation between Finn and Harlee. Finn gives me a vibe of stewing and plotting. So, I think there's one more at least. I haven't decided if he will continue to live, but we'll see. But I can tell you that Charlotte and Wells will not die. They deserved a longer life than what JRoth gave them. Just saying.
> 
> Alright, I'm done. I need to plot the next chapter. Oh, and you should check out IG user @swatercolour. They've done some great comics about how mental health affects many of us. And I want to put this out there that they are not asking me to do this. I have no clue who they are, but I think they're worth checking out. 
> 
> Until next time, keep it clean and...nevermind. My mind went straight to the gutter for a second. Hasta manana, mi gente.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I guess I needed a bit of a break. Life interrupted and my brain farted on what to write next. Then this came out. Apparently, it's all about pep talks and planting ideas. So, here it is, chapter 23.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

Someone was humming. It was something tuneless. Just random notes that _sounded_ like a song. It pulled me out of deep slumber enough to register the noise of somebody moving in my hut. The hum was female, and as I continued to wake and listen, the voice it belonged to registered. Octavia.

The petite brunette was moving about my hut, and knowing she wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon, I groaned in annoyance. That elicited a chuckled from the brunette, and I sleepily raised a hand to flick her off. I sighed and let my hand fall onto my face as my other joined it to rub the last vestiges of sleep away. I sighed again, rather gustily, as I blearily blinked my eyes until I could focus on the fabric of my ceiling moving from a breeze.

“Morning, Harlee,” Octavia called out, sounding way too happy for this time of day. “I thought you always woke before dawn. The sun’s been out for a bit. You feeling okay?”

“It’s the tonic,” I croaked and then cleared my throat. “I sleep deeper and longer. Plus, I am still recovering from being stabbed. The body needs sleep to heal, Octavia.”

“Oh,” she sighed. “I went outside camp this morning. I was hoping I’d catch Lincoln, but no luck. But I found a bag and a jug or something outside your door. The jug is cold to the touch.”

I nodded, pushing myself up until I was sitting and making sure that my blanket still covered me below the waist. Octavia didn’t need to see what I woke up with.

“He brought me breakfast,” I said, looking around and spotting the bag and jug.

Reaching, I grabbed both and brought them closer to me. That move seemed to be what Octavia was waiting for, and she joined me on the bedroll.

“Sure, you can sit there,” I drolly said as I opened the bag.

“Thanks,” she happily replied, and I rolled my eyes at her eagerness.

I pulled over a dozen turnovers. From the delicious aroma wafting from them, they were a mixture of fruit turnovers and what my Riders had dubbed breakfast pastries. A concoction of eggs, cheese, and whatever leftover meat from the night before. All delicious and filling. I set them aside, dividing them by smell, and opened the cooled jug. It smelled like fresh goat’s milk, which meant someone had gone to Tondc and fetched me breakfast. And somehow figured out that I’d be sharing to boot.

I looked around and spotted a couple of cups, “Octavia, can you go and get those cups, please?”

“Yeah, sure,” Octavia replied and got up to retrieve them. “So, what are those things? They smell delicious.”

“I would say that these” -pointing to a group of ten- “are fruit-filled. And these” -pointing to the other group of ten- “are filled with meat and something else. There’s enough here for both of us, but maybe we’ll save some for Clarke and Raven. What do you think?”

“I’m not sure I can hold back, Harlee,” Octavia replied, her eyes wide and practically drooling. “These smell so damn good, and I am _starving_.”

I nodded, grinning, and pulled a few aside, “I understand. Lincoln’s shared a couple of these with me, and they are amazing. And if I’m smelling the jug right, I believe it’s fresh goat’s milk.”

“They have goats here,” Octavia said in amazement as she held out the cups to me.

“I was surprised too. But it’s delicious. Since meeting Lincoln, he’s been giving me food. Said I was too skinny and that my muscles would weaken if I didn’t start eating better. I can’t disagree with him. As active as I’ve been, my muscles haven’t ached as much as they used to.”

“I was wondering something about Lincoln,” Octavia said after a lewd moan from biting into one of the pastries. “How do you meet up with him? Do you just go walking in the woods, and he drops down?”

I shook my head, swallowing some milk, “No. Lincoln has morning watch where he has to remain here at the camp. So, we arranged to meet at his cave about midday or shortly after. So, I spend my mornings, hunting, and exploring. Then meet Lincoln for lunch and training. I come back to camp at sunset.”

“What does he train you in,” Octavia curiously asked.

From that point, I started describing basic survival skills we teach all goufa, hunting, tracking, plant identification, basic fighting skills, and a few other things. The more I explained, the more Octavia grew in excitement. And the longer I watched her enthusiasm, I realized why I was giving her so much attention. Octavia reminded me of myself when I was young. When I needed encouragement and support to move away from what had happened to me and begin to live. I realized that I had found a kindred spirit. I followed that thought, forgetting that I was talking until a hand started waving in front of my face forcing me to blink several times to focus.

“Sorry,” I said, looking at her sheepishly. “Octavia, why all these questions?”

Octavia blushed, ducking her head for a moment. Then she tucked a strand of hair behind an ear and looked up at me, “When you took me to that ruin and started teaching me how to use the bow, I felt something in me click. I don’t know how to describe what I felt, but it felt right, you know. Like it was…I don’t know…just that I was supposed to be doing that. Learning to walk in the woods silently. Holding the bow in my hands. And talking with Lincoln…I was fascinated. By his people, his culture. Then you told us that he was the one who had been teaching you, and suddenly, I can’t stop thinking about any of it.”

I leaned forward a little bit, studying her as I asked, “Octavia, is this something you want to learn?”

Octavia nodded and blushed again, “I do, but I want something more. I’m just not sure what it is.”

I smiled reassuringly, “That’s okay. It’s alright not to have all the answers, Octavia. How about this? Since I can’t meet up with Lincoln, you go in my stead. Talk with him and see if he can teach you.”

“Are you serious,” she exclaimed, looking at me to see if I was joking.

I nodded, “I’m serious, Octavia. If this is something you want to do, then go for it. It’s better to learn from someone who already knows the stuff than from someone who is still learning.”

“Are you sure,” Octavia asked, uncertain and excited at the same time. “I don’t want to take away your training.”

“You won’t be,” I reassured her. “Until my stitches are out, I can’t do much of anything. And once they’re out, the three of us can sit down and figure out a schedule or something. But I’ll leave it up to you to decide. You can either sneak out and meet with Lincoln or stay here and be bored.”

Octavia lunged forward and sent us back as she hugged me. Then she was scrambling off me, accidentally connecting with both the wound and my groin, as she ran out the door with a cry of thanks. I rolled onto my side and curled into myself as I waited for the waves of pain to subside, cursing Octavia in my head.

“Oh my god, are you okay,” Clarke’s concerned voice called out a minute later.

I blinked my eyes open as she came to kneel beside me.

“Depends on what you mean by ‘okay,’” I gasped out, groaning as I forced myself to uncurl. “Octavia was a bit excited and maybe forgot about my wound and extra body part. Fuck, that hurts.”

Clarke dared to giggle at my pain, and I glared at her, “It’s not funny, Clarke. It hurts worse than someone taking your nipple and twisting it. And not in a good way.”

“I’m sorry, Harlee,” Clarke said, trying to control the smile on her face. “But in Octavia’s defense, I don’t think she knows that about you.”

I groaned, glaring at her, “That’s no excuse, Clarke.”

“Want me to kiss it and make it feel better,” Clarke joked.

“If for a second I thought you were serious, I’d say go for it,” I replied, sitting up again.

“Ass,” she said, smacking me lightly on my shoulder, smiling and shaking her head, “You’ll be fine if you’re cracking jokes like that.”

I shrugged, smiling, “I joke or else I’d cry. So, what brings you here this morning?”

“Your wound,” she replied. “I need to check and change your bandage.”

I pouted as I laid back down, “And here I thought it was to see me. I should have known you’d be more interested in stab wounds than my charming self.”

“Charming, huh,” Clarke smiled as she gently removed the bandage. “Is that what we’re calling it nowadays?”

I shifted until I had my hands behind my head, making my muscles stand out more. I watched with a growing smirk as Clarke’s eyes slightly widened and her hands stopped to hover over my abdomen.

I purposefully dropped my voice, “Call it what you want, _Klark_ , you can’t deny it’s effectiveness. Can you?”

Clarke blinked, licked her lips, and turned her head to glare at me, “You are evil, Harlee. Just evil.”

I chuckled, shrugging, “Maybe, but you are also easily flustered, Clarke. It’s hard to resist teasing you.”

Clarke sighed and shook her head, returning to cleaning the wound, “Hmph. Your skin’s a bit irritated where you popped the stitches. We’ll need to keep a close eye to make sure that infection doesn’t set in.”

I noted something stiff in Clarke’s demeanor, making me frown, so I reached down and took a hand in mine. She looked at me in confusion, and I asked, “Clarke, does my teasing make you uncomfortable?”

Clarke shook her head just the slightest bit, but then sighed, “I…maybe a little bit.” Then just as quickly, “It’s not that I don’t _not_ like it because let’s face it, you’re _gorgeous_ and, and from what Roma and Bree have said, you’re, you’re quite…um, _talented_ , and—”

I smiled and sat up, forcing Clarke back before her face collided with my chest. It got her to stop rambling, which was what I wanted, and the blush that sprouted across her face was adorable.

“Clarke,” I gently said, rubbing my thumb across the knuckles of her hand I still held. “It’s okay. I’m not offended or hurt by your admission. If my teasing makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop. Do you want me to stop, Clarke?”

I held Clarke’s gaze as she searched for any lies behind my words and watched her body relaxed when she found none.

“Please,” she admitted. “I would like it if you didn’t tease me like that.”

I smiled, nodded, and drew her hand to brush my lips across her knuckles before I let it go, “Then I shan’t anymore, Clarke. You have my word, which I know isn’t much, but it’s all I have to give.”

I settled back down as she looked at me in confusion and said, “Do you realize that sometimes your speech is a little off? Sometimes formal and sometimes centuries-old speech.”

I internally cursed myself for the slip, but shrugged, crookedly grinned, and countered, “Did it ever occur to you that I learned to speak from what I read? It wasn’t just informative texts and self-help books. I read Shakespeare, Homer, Chaucer, Locke, Machiavelli, and so on. I am afraid to say that it did affect my speech patterns.”

Clarke wrinkled her nose in distaste, “That sounds boring, but no, it never occurred to me. Most of the time, I forget that the way I grew up wasn’t the same as Monroe’s, who grew up in Factory. Or that you and O never had to go to school. Not until moments like this where I get forcibly reminded of our differences.”

“That’s not such a bad thing,” I carefully told her. “Because the way things worked up on the Ark doesn’t work down here on the ground. To survive, you’ve had to let go of those mindsets. I mean, yes, there are carryovers, but you can’t expect people just to let go of old feelings and hates like flipping a leaf. Change takes time. But time isn’t exactly on your side when it could mean death. So, you either hate the guy next to you and possibly die. Or, shove the hate away and possibly live.”

Clarke sighed as she finished bandaging me, and leaned back on her heels, “You’re right. I’ve seen it. And it’s working with us, but I can’t see it continuing when the Ark comes down. I can see everything we’ve done falling apart the moment we’re back with the Ark. How can a bunch of Delinquents get the Council and everybody else to see that what worked won’t anymore?”

“You don’t go back,” I succinctly replied.

“What,” Clarke looked at me in confusion. “They’re our people. We did all of this for them. Why _wouldn’t_ we go back?”

I sat up and scooted around until I was facing her and looked at her seriously, “That was what the Council told themselves to make themselves feel better, Clarke. To justify sending _children_ to their deaths to save themselves. Jaha said what they all believed in that video. That everyone here is expendable. That’s _why_ Bellamy was so successful in turning people. Most of these kids don’t have anyone to go back to anyway. So, why not offer them the alternative? An alternative where their worth is based on what they can do, not who their family is or what station they’re from. Where everyone has a chance to live under a society, they built from the ground up.”

“But what about the ones who still have parents,” Clarke weakly asked. “Or the ones who don’t want to stay?”

“Simple. You don’t force them. Leave the choice up to them. Offer those with family a place here and let the ones who want to leave, leave. Or watch them go back and see all that pride and self-confidence that’s built up in the last two weeks get thrown out as they’re forced to conform to laws and a society that will no longer work. Watch as the hate they’ve let go of come back ten-fold.”

“What if we decide to stay and they try to take us by force,” Clarke asked, glancing at the camp beyond the curtain. “They have guns, gas, trained men. We have none of that.”

“You know this land better than they will, Clarke,” I said, leaning forward and taking her chin gently to look at me. “And you’re smart. Use what you know to keep your people safe. Use the land against them if they try to take you by force. Scatter and hide. Hell, here’s an idea. Talk with the Grounders. See if you can’t come to an alliance or something to keep _your_ people safe, Clarke. The scouts haven’t attacked us in all the time we’ve been here. We’ve even got a Grounder on our side. Well, somewhat. Lincoln could probably, maybe, get you a meeting with his leader. Clarke, I know you feel responsible for everyone, including those on the Ark. I know you want to do right by everyone, but these people. The ones in this camp. _They_ are the ones who need you. They are the ones you need to do right by.”

“How,” Clarke breathed out, her face morphing into worry. 

“Use what you know, Clarke,” I told her, letting her chin go and grabbing her shoulders in reassurance. “You already know you’re going to have to manipulate Jaha not to come out ready for a fight with the Grounders. So, manipulate them more to gain a stronger advantage. You know what you need to keep your people safe, Clarke. This camp is your priority. Just don’t let the Council know you’re playing them. Between you and Wells, I have faith that you can get it done. You can do this, Clarke. I know you can.”

“I…I think I need you there,” Clarke whispered.

I smiled reassuringly, “Then I’ll be there. But remember our deal. No mention of me, and I stay in the shadows.”

Clarke nodded, “Thank you, and we won’t mention you.”

“You’re welcome,” I replied, let her go and pulled the bag with the leftover pastries. “Now, that’s over. I saved some breakfast for you. Somehow, Lincoln knew I’d be sharing and gave me quite a bit. They’re pastries filled with either fruit or meat, eggs, and cheese. And they are delicious. Plus, there’s some fresh goat’s milk to wash it down. You eat some of these and make sure there’s some for Raven. And I am going to go answer the call of nature that I’ve been ignoring since I woke up.”

Clarke laughed and started to pull out the pastries, “Ooh, these are still warm.”

I grinned and wrapped my blanket around my waist, got up, and walked over to where my clothes were. I chuckled, hearing Clarke’s moan as she started eating one, ignoring the lewdness of the sound as I began to get dressed.

“These are sooo good, Harlee,” Clarke moaned in pleasure.

I glanced at her over my shoulder, and grinning cheekily, said, “Another reason to get an agreement with the Grounders. They can teach us how to cook food properly.”

“I’ll talk it over with Wells and see what he thinks.”

“Separate from any talks with the Council, Clarke,” I said from the entrance of the hut. “Let the Council handle its own negotiations. Remember, this camp is the priority. You need to do what’s best for them. And it just might not be joining back with the Ark when it comes down. Remember that.”

Clarke nodded, and I headed out to _finally_ take care of morning business. Not just taking care of nature, but I also needed to touch base with whoever was watching over me this morning. Hopefully, both sides would agree to a meeting, and everything would work out. And somewhere along the way, I can make things right with Raven.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your daily dose, my lovelies. I had trouble figuring out what to write and then someone asked me a question and...BOOM. I knew what to do. So, here it is. I hope you like it.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

I walked back towards one of the holes in the back of the camp, thinking about the message Heda had sent. Luckily, she agreed with my assessment that these children were no threat. Not to Trikru or the Kongeda, except maybe through ignorance or sheer stupidity. But she was wary of using resources to house, feed, and teach them with no guarantee of a positive return. And Heda had a point. Even after spending a week among them, I still only saw a handful that showed promise. That proved worthiness of becoming either a member of Trikru or part of the Kongeda. In the end, Heda had ordered me to find a way to test them within camp. Unfortunately, my injury prevented me from doing what I needed to do. And with a week to do it, I wasn’t sure how with everything else going on.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, working out the tangles and knots as I continued to think. When I neared the wall and the hole I had left through, I slowed down, though. An odd sound reached my ears, and as I looked at the wall, I saw it tremble slightly. Tying my hair back to keep it from my face, I pulled out my knife and carefully approached the wall. I heard a male voice grumbling under his breath, but it was too low to make out who it belonged to.

The moment I stepped through, I grabbed the boy and pulled him back into the forest. Throwing him against the tree, I pressed his face against the bark, knife against his throat, and his arm pulled painfully behind him. 

I pulled his arm up higher, eliciting a painful yelp as I growled out, “Why were you waiting for me?”

“I know you’re not one of us,” the boy, which I now recalled was called Murphy, gasped.

“And why do you say that, Murphy,” I continued to growl.

“B-because the girl you look like, M-Mary,” Murphy painfully replied. “Sh-she was in the cell next to mine. I used to talk to her.”

For a second, I panicked and cursed myself for not remaining away from the others. Then, I took a breath to calm my thoughts and started thinking of what I could do.

“Does anyone else know,” I demanded.

“No. No. Her cellmate was Trina. The one who was caught in the acid fog with my cellmate, Pascal,” Murphy replied. “Look, I’m not planning on squealing. I just want to talk.”

“Why should we talk when it is easier to kill you,” I asked.

“B-because! Because I’ll be missed! And. And I told a few guys that I was going to talk to you. If, if I go missing, they’ll come to you. And, and I’m sure you don’t want to have your cover blown.”

“You’re smart, Murphy,” I growled. “I’ll give you that. What do you want?”

“Ju-just to talk,” Murphy repeated. “That’s it.”

I snorted, “That’s bullshit. I know your type, Murphy. You’re an opportunist. You follow whoever you think will come out stronger. So, I’m going to ask again. What do you want?”

“To survive,” he burst out. “I want to survive.”

I thought for a minute and then flipped him around, keeping him firmly against the tree with my hand, “If you want to survive, John Murphy, I suggest you speak truthfully and clearly. Your death and the death of the people you told are of no consequence to me.”

“But I’m sure it is to whatever reason you’re here,” Murphy said, rubbing his shoulder.

I stayed silent, but the grip on my knife tightened. He took my silence as his cue to start talking.

“Here’s what I think is going on,” Murphy said. “I think you’re a Grounder. Probably sent here to figure if we’re a threat or not. I’ve overheard Blondie talking with Junior about the camp being watched. And I’m pretty sure that between you and the others watching us, you can see that we’re barely surviving. We’re hardly a threat. I don’t know what your people are planning, and I don’t really care. I only care about my own survival.”

Murphy paused to gauge my reaction, but I gave him none. I just stared at him, coldly in silence.

He sighed, “I’m not thrilled that we’re back in contact with the Ark. We have a good thing going here, even though we’re barely surviving. No one’s threatening us to stay in line. We all eat the same. But that won’t continue when the Ark comes down. I’m sure you’ve heard the stories. Here’s the thing. I have no one. Both my parents are dead. If I go back to the Ark, I’m going to go back to being ignored, kicked around, and getting in trouble. I’ll run away the first chance I get. What I’d like is not to get killed the moment I’m alone in these woods. And I figured that you might just be my best shot at staying alive out here.”

“What exactly are you asking me, Murphy,” I asked, studying him, and seeing the nervousness and fear in his eyes.

“I’ll keep your secret if you keep me alive,” he said, looking me in the eyes.

“You want something more than that,” I said. “Because I can have you thrown in a cell where you’ll live the rest of your life and still hold to that. And you don’t seem the type who appreciates hard work.”

“I’ve always been a fan of the saying, ‘work smarter, not harder,” Murphy said. “But if I have to get dirty, I’ll get dirty.”

“And is your word worth much, John Murphy? How do I know you’ll keep silent?”

“I may be a criminal, but I’m not a snitch,” Murphy glowered at me.

“What was your crime, John Murphy?”

“Arson. I set fire to the quarters of the guard who floated my dad,” his glower lessened to a frown. I read pain and anger in his eyes. Sadness too.

“And why was your father floated, John Murphy?”

“Because of me,” Murphy barked out angrily. “I was sick. My dad got caught trying to steal medicine because I was sick.”

“Was anyone killed in the fire you set?”

“No,” he grumbled.

I smirked at his disappointment. I thought my options over quickly and decided that he was possibly my best choice to get the results I needed. Especially since the Blakes were no longer an option.

“Here’s what’s going to happen, John Murphy,” I said, moving my hand from his chest to his throat and squeezing slightly. “I have been given one week to prove that the lot of you aren’t worthless. I need an assistant since my injury prevents me from doing many things. You, John Murphy, are going to be that assistant. Without giving the reason why we will be training everyone in this camp how to survive. How to effectively hunt, gather food, build storage, and anything else I can think of. To prove _your_ worth and word, John Murphy, you are to go back and tell your friends that you will be gone for the rest of the day. Then you are to come back, where Thor, here, will take you to my friend, Devin. You are to do everything Devin tells you to with no deviations, cut corners, whining, faking, or anything like that. If you do not follow through, you will not return.”

“Thor,” Murphy snorted. “As in—”

Thor dropped silently from the tree to stand beside me. I smirked as Murphy’s eyes widened in shock and fear as Thor rose to his full height.

“Do you understand what I have told you, John Murphy,” I said, my voice startling the boy.

He cleared his throat a couple of times before he could finally speak, “When you say that I won’t return—”

“You won’t return,” I replied, not explaining further. “Do you understand, John Murphy? Because one of two things is going to happen now. Either you leave to tell your friends you will be gone all day, or…I kill you, and Thor gets rid of the body. Do we have an accord?”

“One question,” Murphy asked, glancing warily between Thor and me. “What will happen to me if you can’t prove that we’re not worthless?”

I rolled my neck, making it pop as I mulled the question over, “If you do as I say with no complaints, and prove yourself to Devin and myself, you have my word that you will not share the same fate as your fellows. Do we have an accord?”

“Yeah, why not,” Murphy said after a long moment. “We’ve got an agreement, Grounder Chick.”

I squeezed his throat, making him gasp, as I stepped closer, “My name is not, ‘ _Grounder Chick_ ,’ John Murphy. Within those walls, I am Harlee. Outside, in this forest, I am _Trikova Heda_ , Shadow Commander. But you will refer to me as my men do, _Wocha_. Am I understood?”

“Y-yeah. G-got it,” Murphy replied, and I squeezed harder to make my point, and he choked out, “W-watcher.”

“Close enough,” I relented and let his throat go. “Devin will work with you on that. Now, you have five minutes. If I see you in camp past that, you won’t be around to greet the sun tomorrow.”

Murphy nodded as I stepped back. He took one last glance at Thor beside me and took off again through the hole in the wall. I sighed and sheathed my knife as I waited for Thor to speak.

“Is this a good idea, boss,” Thor asked.

“No,” I replied. “But I have no choice. Heda has given me one week, and the person I would prefer is going to be spending her time with Linkon. John Murphy will obey because he wants to survive. But it does not make him trustworthy. The moment a better opportunity presents himself, he will turn on us.”

“Then, we must make sure that he is not given such an opportunity.”

I nodded in agreement, “Have Devin put him through his paces. Everything we teach goufas. Or as much as he can fit in a day. I want a full report, and John Murphy brought back to me at sunset.”

“Sha, Wocha.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back. I left Klark in my hut, and I have been gone too long,” I said, walking to the hole.

“Alright, boss. I will keep you informed,” Thor said, laughter in his voice.

“Oh, shof op, Thor,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “It’s not like that.”

“Sure, boss. Sure,” came his teasing reply.

I just shook my head and headed back to my hut, passing Murphy on his way back out. We shared a glance, but otherwise, I ignored him. I had other important things to worry about.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your daily dose, my peeps. I had most of this written last night, but today my allergies decided to kick my ass. So, I've been a bit drugged into sleepiness today. But it's finished and I think y'all will like it.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

The moment I had stepped back into my hut, Clarke had started in on the teasing. I just shook my head, laughed, and told her that I’d run into Murphy. That shut the teasing down and left the blonde confused. Until I told her why and understanding seemed to click behind those sapphire eyes of hers. Clarke agreed with me that it was a good plan, and with Bellamy soon to be gone, Murphy was the next logical choice outside of Octavia. 

Now, we were headed to the dropship as we continued to discuss strategies on how to keep the camp safe. Safe from my people and safe from the Council. We were coming up the ramp when the curtain fluttered, and a hand planted itself firmly against my chest. I blinked a few times as I followed the arm up to see Raven staring at me intently.

“Um, hi,” I said, confused as to why I was being stopped.

“Everything okay, Raven,” Clarke asked, just as confused as me.

“Yep, it’s all good,” Raven replied, looking at her. “The radio and video are good to go. All you need to do is flip the switch, and Wells knows the frequencies. Oh, you might want to head up to the third level, Clarke. Sounds like Blake is waking up.”

“Oh, okay,” Clarke said, hesitating. “Is there a reason—”

“Yep,” Raven interrupted, popping the ‘p.’ “I need a word here with Harlee. So, we’re just going to go and head back the way y’all came.”

“Harlee,” Clarke asked, as she looked at me with concern.

I looked between the two and then nodded, “It’s fine. I’ll figure out a way to let you know I’m there when we’re done.”

Clarke took a step closer, “Are you sure?”

I nodded again, sighing, “Yeah. You know we need it, Clarke. Go, we’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Clarke replied. “I’ll see you inside later.”

“Yep, later,” Raven said and started pushing me back down the ramp. “Let’s go, Harlee. You have some ‘splainin’ to do.”

“’Splainin’? I don’t know that one,” I said as I turned around and let Raven guide me.

Raven scoffed, “You know” -she changes her voice to some weird accent- “‘ _Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do_ ’” -voice goes back to normal- “ _I Love Lucy_? Ricky Ricardo? Lucille Ball?”

I shook my head, even more confused, “Is that some book? I don’t think I read that one.”

“Some book? Some _book_?! No,” Raven shook her head in disbelief. “It’s a tv show. Like ancient. Before color tv. You know, moving pictures.”

“Raven, I grew up in a cell, remember,” I said in exasperation. “What they gave me to read on only had books. Nothing else.”

Raven stopped our march across camp and just looked at me. I stared back, confused, and maybe a little frightened. Then she just shook her head, grabbed my arm again, and started walking.

“Raven, where are we going,” I asked.

“Someplace we won’t be bothered,” Raven replied.

“My hut,” I asked since we were headed that way.

Raven shook her head, “No. Further.”

The only thing further than my hut was the forest, and the only reason I could think of was that Raven didn’t want anyone to hear the screams. I didn’t think I had been that bad, but this was Raven, and I realized that I knew nothing about her.

As we walked, I subtly checked her out, looking for a weapon of any kind. I didn’t see any telltale bulges, but I could be wrong. Either way, the brunette was making me nervous.

When we went through a hole in the wall, she scoffed at the lack of defense and slowed down. I picked up that she wasn’t sure where to go, so I disentangled my arm from her grip and grabbed her hand. I led her to a clearing that wasn’t far away from the camp. It had the added bonus of a couple of large rocks that we could sit on and nothing nearby that could be thrown or used to stab someone. I wasn’t taking any chances.

“Sit,” Raven said, looking at me sternly as she pointed to one of the rocks.

I nervously sat down, setting the bag of pastries at my feet and watched as she sat on the other.

“What’s in the bag,” Raven asked, curious now.

“Oh, um, breakfast. For you,” I said, picking it up and holding it out for her to take. “Um, Lincoln left it for me earlier this morning. There was some milk, but between Octavia and Clarke, I was lucky to get a full cup’s worth.”

“Lincoln,” she asked as she pulled a pastry out.

“The um, Grounder Octavia and I know. He’s one of the scouts that have been observing us since we landed. Lincoln’s been teaching me how to survive down here—”

“I knew it,” Raven said, jumping up and jabbing the pastry at me. “I knew you couldn’t have gotten that medkit from a bunker! You got it from him, didn’t you?!”

I leaned back and slowly nodded, eyeing her warily, “Uh, yeah. I traded my first deer for it. But I wasn’t lying about knowing plants. I just needed help identifying the new mutations.”

“So, shit really did change down here, huh,” she said and then moaned as she took a bite out of a fruit-filled pastry. “Oh my god, this is the fucking shit! What is this? Is this a fruit?”

I tried not to smile, but seeing the pleasure on her face, I couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, it’s peach, I think,” I said, scratching the back of my head. “At least, I think that’s the word Lincoln called it when we had it once before. Lincoln speaks a different language and only knows a bit of English.”

“Okay, so let me get this straight,” Raven said after she polished off the pastry. “You meet this Grounder, and he just happens to help you out?”

I shook my head, “No. I inadvertently saved his life, which created something his people call a life debt. Lincoln has to hang around me until he can return the favor. I turned it around and got him to agree to teach me about the ground. We’ve kinda become friends, I guess. When the other scouts told him what happened to me, Lincoln took it upon himself to feed me until I’m better and can hunt again. Which is how we got stew for dinner last night and the pastries this morning.”

“If this Lincoln doesn’t know our language, how do you two communicate?”

“Drawings, hand gestures, and teaching each other the words in both languages,” I replied. “But mostly, it’s him demonstrating and then correcting me. No words are really needed.”

“Does that mean that the other Grounders are just as friendly or…”

I winced slightly, “Yes, and no. You really should have come last night. I explained it then.”

“There were things I needed to do,” she countered, staring me down.

I sighed and continued, “The Grounders are made up of different clans. There are twelve of them. Some are peaceful. Some are more bloodthirsty, I guess. The _Trikru_ , or Tree People, own the land we’re on. They’re mostly made up of warriors but are big on honor and proving your worth. So, if they give their word on something, they’re going to honor it. And if you can prove to be useful and not a drain on resources, they don’t have a problem with you. But there are exceptions like those with certain disabilities and orphans.”

“What does that mean for us,” Raven asked.

“It means that there’s a chance if we can prove that we’re willing to be useful, then they might agree to let us stay,” I replied.

“That’s not too bad, I guess,” Raven replied as she thought. “I take it Clarke and Wells are working on figuring that part out.”

I nodded, “Yeah, they are.”

“Good. Good,” Raven said and then looked at me, “Okay. Fun bit’s over. What the hell happened yesterday afternoon? What was that?!”

I sighed, feeling the shame I had pushed aside come back, and dropped my gaze, “I had a nightmare—”

“No, shit,” Raven interrupted. “I’m pretty sure your scream could be heard for miles.”

“It was,” I weakly replied. “And I…when I…woke up, I was still in it. Trapped. It’s why I tried to get away from whoever was touching me and backed myself into a corner.”

“Harlee, everyone has nightmares, but that was some next level shit,” Raven said.

I nodded, feeling weaker as my voice betrayed me with a crack, “I know.”

“Harlee, I am trying to understand, but the anger…”

I looked up at her, steeling myself, “Wasn’t aimed towards you, Raven. Not directly. I was angry at myself.”

“Why?”

One question. One word that carried the weight of an entire life in one syllable. Three letters. And too many answers. There was no simple answer or a simple reason. Nothing that would satisfy enough to leave well enough alone. Only answers that led to more questions. Only a truth that had remained buried and built over yet persisted in cracking and pushing through.

I sighed, and stood up, “I think you need to see something to understand that that question has many answers.”

Raven stood as well, “Show me.”

I nodded and slowly pulled my shirt over my head. Exposing muscles and marred flesh as I drew it up and over until my upper body lay bare except for my chest covering. Raven’s eyes widened at the sight, but I did not know if it was the shape of my body or the flesh that covered it. I stood there silently; my shirt bunched in my fisted hand as Raven’s eyes roved over me. I felt vulnerable, and the urge to cover myself once more was great, but I forced that feeling down and waited.

Raven raised a hand as she raised her eyes to gaze into my own, “May I?”

I nodded, “The physical pain has long since passed, Raven. Only their phantoms remain.”

We both dropped our gazes as her fingers hovered and danced delicately as they traced white lines that would never fade. My darkened skin was keeping them from hiding. I shivered and tensed as she moved, mapping each line, each pucker. Each scar that was decades old and barely new. As she ghosted over them, my memories supplied when each one occurred and by whose hand. My parents. Training. Bandits. Raiders. Warriors. Assassins. Animals. Rocks. Trees. Even spurned lovers.

My body told the tale of a hard life. Of survival. Stubbornness. Skill. Sheer determination. Luck. It showed a story of defeats and victories. Of stupidity and brilliance. And in its own way, the care and love taken to patch me together. To keep me alive. To keep me fighting for one more day. To keep me from that final Pyre for just a bit longer.

Raven’s hand came to a stop on a patch of smooth skin that had somehow remained untouched. It was just over my left breast, where my heart beat its strongest. From her hand, a warmth spread. Soothing and calming my erratic heart and relaxing the muscles that had grown tense. My chest moving Raven’s hand with each slow breath I took. It was then that I dared to speak.

My voice low to keep the calm that had invaded me, I said, “I was born different, even more than the genetics that gave me black blood. They refused to accept the truth because the evidence wasn’t there. And wouldn’t for many years to come. They did everything they could to change my mind, but I remained steadfast and sure of my truth. For three years, I endured it. Then, well, I stopped it.”

Raven stayed silent, and I took a slow and deep breath before I continued, “That is what chases me, Raven. For years, it had remained in the deepest, darkest parts of my mind. Silent because I remained silent. Then we came here, and I came across people with similar tales, and I didn’t want to feel so alone anymore. But repressed doesn’t mean healed, and at my weakest, they chose to strike. Because I chose to open myself without also protecting myself. So, I used anger in an attempt to protect myself. I feel ashamed because I hurt the one person I never want to cause pain.”

“Who,” Raven whispered after a breath.

“You,” I breathed out as I lifted my eyes to see her brown eyes looking at me. “I hurt you, Raven. And for that, I am deeply sorry.”

Raven’s dark eyes flicked between my own as she searched in them for something. Maybe she looked for the lies beneath the truth, but I knew there were none. The only lie lay in who I truly was in this world. One, I knew that one day soon, I would reveal.

“There’s more to this. To you, isn’t there,” Raven said.

I nodded as I reached up to gently trace her cheek, “Yes, and one day I will be ready to tell you. Can you accept that, my Valkyrie?”

Raven had closed her eyes to my touch, lightly shuddering as I called her that.

“Yes,” Raven breathed out.

I smiled softly down at her, “Thank you, Raven.”

Not wanting to push, though I so wanted to kiss her, I stepped back, breaking our contact. Raven opened her eyes as I pulled my shirt back on. When it settled, she seemed to take a breath and sit down once more. She patted the rock next to her, inviting me to join her. I did and looked at her expectantly.

Raven studied her hands for a long moment before saying, “I decided to break up with Finn. I _did_ break up with him once he woke up. I wanted to blame myself for what he did, but I listened to you. Finn made the conscious decision to lie and cheat. To hurt everyone he’s been with.”

She snorted and shook her head, looking up at me, “When Finn woke up, he dared to act like nothing had gone on. As if I hadn’t been there when he confronted and attacked you. When I called him out, Finn tried to turn it around and lay blame on everyone else. And it was like for the first time I saw who Finn was. The real Finn behind that boyish charm and carefree attitude. I couldn’t believe how blind I had been. So, I broke up with him. That started a whole rant, and it became obvious how possessive and obsessive he is. Seriously, I think he might be a tad obsessed with Clarke with the way he spoke about her.”

I frowned, “If you’re worried about Clarke and that Finn might try something, we’ll make sure she’s never alone.”

“That…that strangely makes me feel better. I mean, I should be jealous of Clarke. Right? Because Finn and her…Or I should be angry with her, but I’m not.”

I slightly smiled, “It’s because you realize that Clarke is as much Finn’s victim as you are, Raven.”

“She is, isn’t she,” Raven replied, sighing. “I ended up punching him in the face. He just wouldn’t stop his crazy ranting, and I got tired of it.”

I grinned, “I guess, you really can take care of yourself, huh?”

Raven grinned back, “Damn Skippy, I can.”

I frowned, “Skippy? Is that another tv reference?”

Raven laughed, “You know, I really don’t know. It’s just one of those Old World sayings that seem to have persisted.”

I chuckled along with her and then became serious again, “Raven, does this mean we’re okay again?”

Raven sighed, “I think I get it. Emotions are messy and aren’t prone to follow logic. And when you get overwhelmed by them, I think logic goes away, and you just react. I think you got overwhelmed, and you reacted by lashing out to give yourself distance. You grew up isolated, right?”

I nodded, and she continued, “So, can I guess that when you had these ‘bleeding’ nightmares that no one was there for you? That you had to get through them alone.”

I nodded again, “Yeah. After the first few where I attacked guards who tried to restrain me, they stayed out of my cell until I had exhausted myself, and the episode was over.”

“And you never got treatment?”

I shook my head, “No, I didn’t. You know they don’t have the resources or training to help people who suffer trauma. I mean, do you think most of us would be here if we had gotten proper help?”

Raven sighed, “You’re sadly right. And because of the laws, the only time abuse of any kind was found out was when it was loud enough or bad enough to draw the attention of the guard or medical.”

“And when it came to children, the Council’s not that happy to admit that they fucked up and let an innocent child get hurt,” I pointed out, thinking of Charlotte.

Raven nodded, “I guess my point is that because you never had the help to work through the trauma and were left alone when you had these episodes, we’ll call them, you began to react the way you had always done so. But this time, you didn’t hurt anyone.”

“I didn’t,” I sighed and looked around the clearing to clear my head a bit. “I think it’s because none of you tried to crowd me. Even when Wells blocked me from getting to you, he still gave me the space to move. And I think it also helped that I wasn’t stuck in a room. I had an exit I could leave out of, and nothing was blocking it. I knew I needed space to calm down, and I needed more than what you and the dropship were giving me. And I also knew on some level that I needed to make sure that I wasn’t followed.”

“So, you made us scared and angry,” Raven said, understanding far better than I’d hoped.

I nodded, “And why, when I calmed, I was immediately regretful.”

“And you’ve shown us that,” Raven said. “I’m stubborn, Harlee. When I feel like I’ve been wronged and hurt, it takes me a while to listen. But I’m listening now, and I hear you. You had some fucked up shit happen to you, and I have no idea how you’re even remotely sane, but I get why you acted the way you did. And I forgive you, Harlee.”

I felt relief flood through my veins, and a huge weight lift off my chest, hearing those words. I wanted nothing more than to pull her in my arms and hug her tightly. Kiss her until she was breathless because her forgiveness was what I wanted most in this moment.

But I kept myself from doing any of that and replied solely with, “Thank you, Raven. Your forgiveness means a lot to me.”

Raven laughed, “I can see you’re practically vibrating over there. Does my forgiveness mean that much to you?”

“Yes,” I succinctly replied and grinned. “It does. Raven, in the short time we’ve known each other, you’ve become important to me. Your opinion matters, and it felt like a physical blow seeing the anger, pain, and sadness in your eyes. Especially knowing that I was the cause of it. That’s why I knew I needed to make it right with you, even if it meant losing you as a friend.”

“You’re saying that if, after this, I never wanted to see you again…”

“I’d stay away unless it were absolutely necessary,” I told her truthfully. “But that wouldn’t mean that you’d stop being important to me.”

“Huh,” Raven said, leaning back as she regarded me. “You are definitely different, aren’t you?”

I shrugged, “Different isn’t always a bad thing, Raven. It’s just…different.”

“It is, isn’t it,” she replied quietly and then more firmly, “Come on. We should head back and make sure the Council isn’t declaring war on anybody.”

I nodded, grabbing the empty bag and standing up. Offering a hand to Raven, I said, “Yes, let’s. We’ve got enough to worry about.”

Raven took my proffered hand, and I pulled her to her feet. As we walked back, I made sure to give her space, but somehow she found her way close to me. Close enough to brush arms and fingers as we moved. I said nothing but allowed a small smile spread, happy that I hadn’t ruined the possible chance of having something more with Raven. It was still frightening; these feelings that ran rampant within me. But for the first time, I truly felt the truth behind my people’s words. That maybe I was worthy of Love after all. And that just perhaps, Raven would show me the way.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your daily dose, my beauties. 
> 
> So, if you haven't noticed by now, I get random song lyrics popping up in my head with no rhyme or reason. Well, it happened again. Last night, it happened again. I was just minding my own business playing Shop Titans on my iPad and this one line just kept going over and over in my head. So, I pull out my phone and scrolled through my playlist to find it. I found it and was like, "Yeah, this is Harlee's theme song." Now, here's the problem, I listened to a lot of songs afterwards to the point that I'm no longer sure what I remember is the song. So, I need your help. I think it's Marshmello's, "Silence (feat. Khalid)" but I'm no longer sure. Let me know what you think while I listen to the rest of my playlist.
> 
> Okay, a little bit about this chapter. The best way I can describe it is Harlee being Harlee told from Raven's POV. It's a'ight. Not my best, but fillers are a bit of a bitch, man. So...
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others

RAVEN POV

Harlee and I slipped past the curtain blocking the entrance of the dropship. The voices we had heard outside were coming from Clarke, Wells, and whomever they were speaking with on the radio. I walked over to them while Harlee found a place hidden from the camera but still gave her an unobstructed view. As I came up, I glanced and saw that the monitor showed the entire Council, but it was Jaha speaking.

I leaned over and whispered in Clarke’s ear, “We’re back. Harlee’s behind and to your right. I’ll be with her if you need anything.”

Clarke nodded and looked over her shoulder at Harlee. Harlee just smiled and saluted but stayed quiet. I noticed that Clarke’s shoulders minutely relaxed the moment she saw Harlee but didn’t say anything. I squeezed Wells’ shoulder as I passed by him, and he nodded his head but stayed focused on the conversation.

Sighing in relief as I slid down the wall next to Harlee, I glanced over to see her pulling out various pieces of wood, a medium-sized cloth, and a small, sharp knife. I curiously watched as she picked a piece of wood and started cutting into it and removing small shavings.

Furrowing my brow in confusion, I whispered, “What are you doing?”

Harlee smirked, her eyes never leaving the piece of wood, and whispered back, “It’s called whittling. Lincoln taught me a bit the day the acid fog came. I was restless from being stuck in an enclosed space. To keep both of us sane, he gave me the knife and a piece of wood and said, ‘find shape within.’ I had no clue what he meant but started to cut into the wood. Hours later, I had either the longest toothpick or smallest skewer. Lincoln took it, examined it, smiled, and cleaned his nails with it.”

I choked trying to keep from laughing too loudly as Harlee’s smirk grew, “Then he gave me another piece of wood and said, ‘this time, look first then cut.’”

“What did he mean by that,” I asked, curious now.

“You may not know this, but every tree tells a story about its life,” Harlee said, glancing up to check on Clarke for a minute before she returned to the wood. “If you cut it down and examine it, there are rings in various sizes. Counting the rings gives you its age. But each ring is different in size, shape, whatever. They tell you if the tree lived through drought, disease, flooding, and other natural phenomena. The surface of the tree tells a story as well. What has made it home, if it’s survived fire or lightning. If strong winds have caused it to break or been impaled by another object. Sometimes you can even find manmade objects in them because it grew around them.”

“That’s incredible,” I replied, having never heard about trees like that. “I just thought you chopped them down to make fires and buildings.”

Harlee nodded, “True, but there’s more to it than that. Each tree, each piece that breaks or falls from it, is meant for something. Be it providing shade, shelter, food, fuel, reproduction, a tool, a utensil, decoration, or whatever. Some of its obvious. Some not so much. It is up to nature or creature to find out what that is. Whittling or carving is about finding what a piece of wood is supposed to be. Each cut, shave, gouge reveals a bit of the truth at a time. But you have to look beyond the surface to see it.”

“Why does that sound like a metaphor for something,” I replied dryly.

Harlee chuckled, “Maybe it is. Think of a piece of wood as a person. On the surface, the wood or person appears like one thing. But the more you cut or get to know the wood or person; you learn more about it or them. The further you go, the more you learn and understand. Until finally, you see the wood or person as they truly are. The key to finding out, though, is patience.”

I frowned slightly, “Okay, I think you’ve turned philosopher, Harlee. A piece of wood is just a piece of wood.”

“Is it,” she asked, glancing at me. “Is the person I see sitting next to me the real Raven, or is there more to you?”

“What you see is what you get, Harlee,” I replied. “I have nothing to hide.”

“That remains to be seen,” Harlee said with a smirk. “But for most of us, what a person sees isn’t necessarily the full truth. We put on these masks to hide behind for many reasons. And sometimes we’re forced to wear masks for others. But like the surface of this piece of wood, the mask hides who a person truly is. And to truly get to know a person, you have to cut or shave away the mask or masks to get to them. Take Clarke, for example. Ignore what you’ve learned about her since you’ve been here and give me an assessment of who you think she is. Base it on her life on the Ark. Who her parents are. Where she lived. And so on. Just surface-level stuff.”

I looked over at the blonde and regarded her for a long moment, “Okay. Well, I know she grew up in Alpha Station. Her dad, Jake, was the Head Environmental Engineer, and her mom, Abby, is the Chief Medical Officer and was on the Council.”

“Okay,” Harlee said. “Tell me about Alpha Station.”

“Alpha was where the largest living quarters are located,” I told her, thinking over what I knew. “Those that live there are deemed important and necessary to the continuation of the Ark. Therefore, they get better food rations, clothing, air circulation, and so on. It’s even thought that those that live there can get away with breaking some of the laws.”

“Okay, and what did the other stations think of the people that lived there,” Harlee asked.

“That they had it easier,” I quickly replied. “It was like the Old World equivalent to the rich and powerful. The other stations think that they don’t struggle or have problems. Or if they have problems, it’s something trivial. We thought them snobby. Privileged.”

Harlee nodded, still working on the wood as she glanced between Clarke and me, “So, do you think that Clarke was sought after? Did everyone want to be her friend? Say to gain privilege by association.”

I snorted, “The opposite. Clarke would have been avoided because her mother’s on the Council. No one dared harm Clarke in the off-chance of getting floated or put in the Skybox.”

“So, based on what you’ve told me, what’s your surface assessment of Clarke, Raven,” Harlee asked.

“That Clarke had an easy life,” I replied. “No problems or worries. She was happy. A Golden Child.”

“Kinda makes you want to hate her out of spite, huh,” Harlee said, nudging me with her shoulder. “She had it good while you toiled away on Mecha, right?”

“Well, yeah,” I huffed and then paused. “Wait. That was a trick question, wasn’t it?”

Harlee smirked, “Maybe. Now, take what you’ve learned about her since coming down here. Does Clarke fit that first assessment of her?”

“No,” I replied with a huff. “Clarke doesn’t act like she’s above us or makes ludicrous demands. She works almost as hard as I do. And she’s always checking up on people. Like that kid, Jasper.”

Harlee smiled and nodded, “You’ve shaved past the surface and have gotten closer to knowing the real Clarke. Congratulations.”

“Whatever,” I replied, rolling my eyes, and shoving her lightly. “What has any of this got to do with whittling wood?”

“Nothing,” Harlee said. “It’s a metaphor. The surface of this piece of wood and the way a person presents is a mask. If you really want to know what something is or who someone is, you have to be patient and shave a bit away at a time. Sometimes you’ll find a piece of garbage beneath a pretty exterior, and other times, you’ll find something beautiful underneath an ugly exterior. But you won’t find out if you don’t work at it.”

“A diamond in the rough and don’t judge a book by its cover,” I huffed and shook my head. “I get it.”

Harlee paused and looked at me with her head, cocked, “Do you?”

I nodded, “Yeah. Finn’s really an obsessive douche. Clarke and Wells are nothing like the Council. And I’ve barely scratched the surface on who you are.”

“Maybe you—”

“YOU HAD NO RIGHT. NO AUTHORITY TO BANISH BELLAMY BLAKE,” Jaha’s voice bellowed over the crappy speakers of the radio, making our heads snap in that direction.

“Bellamy Blake is wanted for the attempted assassination of the Chancellor,” Marcus Kane spoke up.

I glanced at Harlee, but she was watching and listening to what was now going on intently.

“I understand, Kane,” Wells said. “But at the time he was banished, we did not know that. He was banished for the sake of this camp. Bellamy is the reason why a quarter of our wristbands were taken off, including forcibly removing mine. He is indirectly involved in the death of Atom. Possibly involved in the presumed death of our youngest, Charlotte. He attempted to murder two other kids. We had already banished him for those crimes when the two recovered enough to give their testimonies. That is when we found out about his shooting my father. Bellamy Blake tried to kill the two kids because they figured it out.”

“Chancellor, Council members,” Clarke spoke up. “Bellamy Blake is a persuasive individual. Most, if not all, here, don’t like you for many reasons. Least of which was the Chancellor’s speech during our descent when you called us saviors of humanity and expendable in the same breath. Bellamy used that hate to turn many to his side. In removing the bands and advocating for leaving everyone up there to die. Even after all that he’s done to the detriment of the camp, he still has loyal followers. If we had kept him here, they could have caused more damage and hurt more kids. Wells and I had to do what was right for the good of everyone here. We couldn’t follow the Exodus Charter and execute him because that would have caused a riot. And we couldn’t incarcerate him because of a lack of any place to hold him. The only logical choice we had was to banish Bellamy Blake.”

“Damn, that’s good,” I whispered. “They’re subtly using the Council’s past actions with shit that’s happened here. Forcing them to see the comparisons and using Jaha’s own words against him. Did he really call you expendable?”

“Yeah, he did,” Harlee whispered back. “The whole saving humanity bit was to make themselves feel better, but the truth is they sent everyone here to die. Clarke and Wells are also bringing and using the fact that there were no supplies. None. And they’re making it known that even though they’re kids of Council members, they’re vastly outnumbered. To survive, they have to make concessions to appease the masses.”

I looked at her in shock, “How’d you get that out of what they just said?”

Harlee rolled her eyes, “I’ve been listening to them the entire time. Even while we were talking.”

“Well, have they gotten to the Grounders yet,” I asked with a huff.

Harlee shook her head, “Not yet. The Council’s been nitpicking everything that’s happened since the landing. Criticizing and chastising them. Clarke and Wells have been handling it pretty well. I’m impressed.”

“Very well,” Jaha’s voice interrupted us. “We concede that your punishment is suitable for Bellamy Blake’s crimes.”

“Thank you, Chancellor,” Wells replied.

“Now to the next order of business,” Jaha stated. “During a rather…brief conversation with an unknown individual, it was reported that there are Grounders among you. I find that highly improbable—”

“It is true, Chancellor,” Clarke interrupted. “When I led a group in search of Mount Weather, we found a river that wasn’t indicated on the map left us. Jasper Jordan crossed the river and found a sign with Mount Weather on it. Soon after, a spear was thrown across and hit him center mass. It did not kill him, and when we heard him scream, we ran back only to find him gone. The group and I returned to camp to regroup. When we located Jasper, we found him in the middle of a clearing full of traps, strung up as live bait. We have since learned that the river marks a boundary, and it’s forbidden to go to Mount Weather.”

“How,” Kane asked.

“Octavia Blake, Sir,” Wells spoke up. “Recently, she befriended a scout that was assigned to watch our camp. The Grounders have been watching us since the second day. The scout passed on information in regards to Jasper’s attack. There are people in Mount Weather. People who have kidnapped, killed and experimented on the Grounders. The river acts as a boundary, and some scouts monitor it with orders to attack any who cross it.”

“When you say, ‘experimented,’ Wells,” Clarke’s mother, Abby, spoke up. “What do you mean?”

“From what Octavia told us,” Wells replied. “Some of those kidnapped by the Mountain Men. That’s what the Grounders call them. Some of them come back but are changed. They’ve become mindless beasts unable to recognize friends or family. The Grounders call them Reapers. These Reapers are the ones who are kidnapping their own people and killing any that fight back. Wounding them doesn’t stop them so, the Grounders have to kill them.”

“The Mountain Men are also the ones who deploy this acid fog,” Clarke interjected. “It burns and blisters from the inside out. It killed three of us.”

“That is appalling,” one of the Council members said.

“It is,” Clarke replied, and I could hear the sadness in her voice.

“Why does Clarke sound sad,” I asked Harlee.

“One of the ones caught in the fog, Atom, survived it, but there was no way to save him,” Harlee explained. “Clarke mercy killed him.”

“Oh my god,” I breathed out in shock. “Is she okay? That couldn’t have been easy.”

“I don’t know,” Harlee replied. “I haven’t talked to her about it, but killing is never easy. It shouldn’t be anyway. Maybe I’ll talk to her about it later.”

“You should do that,” I said, looking at her. “For someone who grew up alone in a cell, you have a surprising knack for understanding a lot of shit.”

Harlee shrugged, “It comes from figuring my own shit out. Philosopher and Sage, remember?”

“And apparently, psychiatrist,” I sarcastically replied.

Harlee smirked, “I’ll be sure to add that to my resume.”

“That’s gonna bite me in the ass, isn’t it,” I huffed.

Harlee glanced at my ass before she looked at me, her smirk growing, “Tempting.”

“Float me, I set myself up for that one, didn’t I,” I whined.

Harlee chuckled and leaned against me, “You did, but I won’t hold it against you.”

“Yeah, right,” I said, leaning into her and enjoying the contact. “Should we listen back in?”

“They’re getting ready to call a break,” Harlee said, looking at me intently. “We’ve been here for over an hour.”

“What,” I exclaimed, a little too loudly if Clarke’s glare meant anything. “How can you tell?”

“The shadows have moved,” Harlee replied, gesturing to the curtain. “I can’t fault you for not noticing. I know I’m distracting.”

“Yeah, to the point of irritation,” I said, shoving her away from me.

Harlee laughed, and then as quick as could be, she kissed me chastely before getting to her feet. She quickly made her way over to Clarke and Wells, leaving me stunned. I sat there for a long minute before glancing down to where Harlee had been. In the middle of a bunch of wood shavings sat a shape that strongly resembled a bird. I looked back to Harlee with the realization that our talk had done more than pass the time. Somehow, I had carved away at Harlee’s surface, and as I went over our conversation, I had learned more about her. Not enough to pin her down, but enough that I was just as intrigued by her now as I was the moment we met.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies. Well, since it's been a few days since my last update, I thought I'd give you a treat. To make up for my absence you get two chapters for the price of one, lol.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and everyone.

HARLEE POV

The rest of the afternoon had gone abysmally slow. After a decent lunch shared with Clarke, Wells, Raven, and Octavia, we had all headed back to the dropship. Well, except for Octavia. She headed out of camp and towards Lincoln’s cave. I had a feeling that Octavia would have no problem getting my brother to agree to train her. I had seen the care and detail he had put in his drawing of the petite brunette. And I had noticed how Lincoln had continuously glanced at Octavia while we had waited for Shallow Valley to pass. It was apparent to see that Lincoln was smitten with the younger girl. And Octavia seemed just as struck if her eagerness and flushed skin whenever he was mentioned meant anything. It’ll be interesting to see if anything comes out of their budding relationship.

I had continued whittling as I listened to Clarke and Wells converse with their Council. I was mildly surprised at how well they maneuvered the conversation. Speaking with the right amount of submissiveness and subversion. They supported each other, but it was evident that Wells often deferred to Clarke. As the scouts had reported, Clarke was the one who led. And where Clarke spoke more passionately, Wells remained calm and poised even when the Council members were blatantly condescending and patronizing. I had watched as Clarke looked ready to explode several times, but Wells would lay a hand on her back, and she instantly calmed. It made me think that with a bit of training, Wells would make an excellent political advisor. A bonus was that he was unquestionably loyal to Clarke.

Not much had been decided during the meetings. The Council seemed more interested in dissecting and debating each grain of information. It reminded me of some of the Ambassador meetings in Polis I had been forced to attend. And just like those times, I fought the urge to stab myself in the ears to render myself deaf. They were all just as bad as goufas fighting over a toy.

The only highlight was that Raven continued to sit next to me. We’d sat there working on our own little projects in companionable silence. Every once in a while, one of us would snarkily comment on something the Council said and devolve into chuckles. We tried to keep it low, but it didn’t always happen, and we’d earn glares from Clarke. That’s when I learned that Clarke had what Raven immediately dubbed the ‘mom glare.’ That comment got us the glare, a hissed expletive, and a finger pointing us outside the dropship. Getting the message, we gathered our belongings and headed outside.

That’s where we finally parted as Raven headed to her tent, and I stayed by the entrance to continue listening in. Luckily, the meeting hadn’t lasted much longer after we’d left. Of course, I’d gotten an earful from Clarke as she chastised me for the interruptions. I just nodded along and then teased her about being more upset that she wanted to laugh along with us. Clarke just leveled her ‘mom glare’ at me and was a little more aggressive when she changed my bandage.

That had been several hours ago. Now, I was leaning against a tree waiting for Thor to return with Murphy. That is if he had lasted Devin’s training. I straightened up when I heard someone approach. Their steps were heavy as if they were carrying something. I slipped out my knife as I turned to face the footsteps. When I saw who it was, I relaxed and leaned against the tree again. It was Murphy, and he was carrying a small deer across his shoulders but straining under the weight. I looked behind him and saw Thor carrying a basket. I took an experimental sniff of the air and detected the scent of cooked boar.

“So, you survived, John Murphy,” I said once he was within conversational distance.

I smirked when he startled since he hadn’t been paying attention.

He resettled the deer across his shoulders, and snarkily replied, “Barely. Your man is the devil” -he paused- “Chief.”

I nodded at being adequately addressed, “Hardly. _Goufas_ , children, learn what you were taught today, John Murphy, when they are less than five winters.”

“You’re shitting me,” Murphy looked at me in surprise.

“No,” I replied, walking over to inspect the deer. “Did you take this down yourself?”

“Yes, Chief,” Murphy answered, turning his head to look at me.

I nodded as I looked it over, “A sloppy kill, but I’m impressed that you took it down on your first day. You might just survive, John Murphy.”

“So, what happens now,” Murphy asked.

“Well,” I said, walking back around him to look at Murphy directly, “you’ll take this into camp and finish cleaning it. It’s small, so there’s not enough to smoke, but it should be enough to feed everyone tonight. No more than one helping, though, unfortunately. You take care of that, and you’re done for today. Meet me outside the dropship an hour after sunrise tomorrow. You and Octavia will help me start the training tomorrow. I’ll run down the plan before we gather everyone. Got it?”

Murphy nodded, “Yes, Chief.”

“Good,” I replied. “That’s all. Have a good evening, John Murphy.”

“You too, I guess,” he said and understanding the dismissal headed into camp.

Once Murphy was through, I turned to look at Thor, “What news, Thor?”

“Wormana Indra and Deke have combined our forces,” Thor reported. “They are using this opportunity to train in our differing…techniques.”

I smirked, “We’re running circles around her elites, aren’t we?”

Thor cracked a smile, “Understatement, boss. When the poor fellows are done with patrols, she has them in the training pits until they collapse. The Riders have taken to setting bets on how long they last.”

I sighed and looked at him, aggrieved, “You know how I feel about bets, Thor.”

Thor nodded while still smiling, “Of course, boss. Shall I let Deke know to cease?”

Thinking, I replied, “Not until I win. It’ll be the small ones that last the longest. But no longer than six hours.”

I smirked as Thor laughed, “I’ll be sure to let Scrapper know. Usual bet?”

I nodded, “Sha. What else?”

Thor calmed and replied, “We’ve had to separate the girls. The girl you replaced, Mary, she started to antagonize and belittle Sharlot. The mensfisa arrived a few days ago and suggested that Sharlot be allowed to leave the cell. If you plan to bring her home with us, Arty thinks letting the girl see and experience our way of life will help her adjust better.”

I looked at him in surprise, “Maria sent Artemis?”

Thor nodded, “Sha. Is that a problem?”

I shook my head, “No. Not at all. I am just surprised. Arty doesn’t like to leave No’folk, but she is who I would want to help Sharlot. Artemis is our best when it comes to children and trauma. Make sure Maria and Artemis have my thanks.”

“Of course,” Thor replied. “Wormana Onya was not happy to defer Linkon’s punishment. Or that you have given one of the Skai goufas free passage within Trikru lands.”

I rolled my eyes, “Of course, she isn’t. Onya isn’t one for playing games, even if she plays this one well. Have Deke make sure she understands that this is my mission, and she is under my command. Until Heda states otherwise.”

Thor nodded, “I will, Wocha. Maria has the company mobilized and ready to leave on your command. She’s also taken the initiative and prepared several ships and transports for rapid deployment. If the need arises.”

I sighed, “Then she sees the potential as I do. Very well. Have Maria contact Floukru about mustering and readying fisas. Let Maria know that if Floukru lacks medical supplies, she has my authorization to procure them. But only if I send word that it is needed. I will not drain our coffers or stores unnecessarily. Is that all?”

“I’ll make sure the messages are sent, Wocha,” Thor said, bowing his head. “And sha, that is all the news for now.”

“Alright,” I said and took a minute to gaze at the camp’s wall as I gathered my thoughts. “Let Heda know that the goufas can now speak with their people in the Sky. Klark en Wels spent the day being criticized for every decision they’ve made. The least of which was their decision to banish Belomi. Their Council is going to be a problem once it arrives. They already judge and believe us to be inferior to them.”

Thor let out a low growl and I laid a hand on his arm to placate him, “I know, Thor. But think of all the fun we will have proving them wrong.”

A slow, mischievous and evil smirk spread through his bearded face, “Sha, Wocha.”

I grinned, “It’ll probably be the most fun we’ll have for a while. Anyway, we learned nothing of their impending arrival. I will work on getting Klark to push for answers.”

“I will let Heda know,” Thor replied, and then held out the basket, “Your dinner, Lee. Enough for you and everyone else that seems to have started congregating in your hut.”

I took it even as I rolled my eyes, “Don’t remind me. This wasn’t intentional.”

Thor chuckled, “I know, boss. But it happens every time. I don’t think you can help yourself.”

I groaned, “I don’t think I can either. I swear Heda is going to so owe me for a long time after this skrish is over.”

“Well, you better get to it, boss,” Thor replied, laughing. “I think I can hear their stomachs growling from here.”

“Oh, jok of, Thor,” I said, flipping him off as I set back to camp. “Just wait until I get these stitches out. You and I now have a date in the pit.”

I laughed when I heard Thor mumble, “Jok ai,” as I crossed into the camp. I opened the basket and removed Devin’s report. Folding it before sliding it into a pocket to keep it from curious eyes. I didn’t need the extra headache. I sent a prayer to the Goddess Nott to make this week pass quickly. I was more than ready to get back to my life.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's your second update. This takes place a couple of days later. Harlee's established a training routine with the help of Octavia and Murphy. And I think you'll enjoy the ending.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind
> 
> Oh, and some of the dialogue in the beginning comes from season 1, episode 8.

I had been working on getting the finer details of the bird I was carving when I heard Clarke say, “We’re doing everything we can to prepare here. We’re gathering nuts and berries, curing meat, but the truth is, we’ll freeze before we starve.”

I looked up to see the Council’s reaction as one of them, Kane; I think Clarke called him, said, “There’s good news on that front. According to civil defense plans from before the war, there’s an old emergency aid depot not far from the landing site. Here are the coordinates.”

The screen was filled with something as Wells quickly jotted something down. I started frowning and promptly ducked my head to keep anyone from noticing. If I remember my history right, civil defense usually included fayagons, among other supplies like emergency lights and medical supplies. I knew of six locations that supposedly had such supplies at one time. Four of them were within reach of the acid fog, one had been ransacked long ago, and the last was somewhere buried underneath a lake. However, the lake had once been a town before flooding had occurred a century ago. The last team that had been sent over twenty years ago might have missed an entrance to that bunker, but it was highly unlikely.

I sighed, figuring that a team of scouts will have to follow whoever goes to verify this information. I also needed to get a look at the coordinates to find where it was.

“In addition to supplies, it could provide shelter for the hundred and the citizens coming down from the Ark,” Jaha’s voice reached me.

“And what makes you think it’s intact,” Wells asked, looking over Clarke’s shoulder at something.

“It was designed to withstand nuclear warfare,” was Kane’s quick reply.

“Alright,” Clarke sighed, looking at whatever was in front of her. “It’s worth a shot.”

Another Council member spoke up, “Chancellor, I have to object. Project Exodus is under way. The kids should sit tight in their camp until the first dropship launches.”

“Even if everything goes without a hitch,” Jaha said, “the hundred would die from exposure before relief arrives.”

Raven leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Oh, _now_ he’s worried about everyone dying. Where was this concern two and a half weeks ago?”

“It’s about appearances,” I whispered back, watching as the Wells got up and whispered something in Clarke’s ear. “If they don’t want a riot on their hands, they have to play the benevolent caretaker. They’re trying to keep the people from knowing that the launch was meant to be a culling, not a scouting mission. Since most of the kids are alive, they have to cover their asses. So now, the Council _has_ to provide aid to maintain the illusion.”

Clarke’s slightly raised voice caught my attention as she said, “…was an unavoidable tragedy, but I don’t see it that way, and I never will. So just tell me who’s next and let someone who actually wants to talk to their parents have a turn.”

At the same time, Wells came over to us with a large paper in his hand, “Hey, Harlee, since you’ve explored most of the area around here, can you take a look at something?”

I nodded and set the carving aside and took the proffered paper from him. Looking at it, I discovered it was a centuries-old map, topographical with limited information. What information it had was all handwritten in, probably by either Clarke or Wells.

Wells started pointing things out, “This is us here” -pointing to a circle with an x in the middle- “or as good as Clarke can figure out. Kane’s just given us coordinates that should lead us to a supply depot. Have you, by chance, headed in that direction?”

I studied the map, comparing it to the maps I had of the region and deduced that it was indeed the bunker lying underneath a lake. I debated if I should tell them or let them discover it on their own. 

Deciding it would be safer to lie, I shook my head, “No. I stayed mostly in this region,” -pointing to the opposite side of the camp- “I’d go and ask Lincoln if he knows that area, but Clarke still won’t let me leave.”

Wells’ face fell, “Damn.”

“When were you thinking of heading out,” I asked, quickly making, and discarding plans in my head.

“Soon,” Clarke replied, joining us, and looking irritated. “I need to get out of here.”

“Clarke,” I said, “This is going to take about three hours to get to if I’m judging distances right. There’s no telling what condition that area’s going to be in. You could spend all day searching and not find the bunker. It’s midmorning now, do you really want to take a chance and end up camping out there for the night?”

Clarke groaned in frustration, “What do you suggest then, Harlee?”

“Murphy and his group should be back later this afternoon,” I told her. “Let me and him put a team together, and then you guys head out first thing in the morning. That way, you have plenty of daylight to look for the entrance and search the depot. And you’ll have plenty of people to carry back any supplies.”

“It’s reasonable, Clarke,” Wells said.

“And I should have a radio finished by then,” Raven interjected. “It should have the range if anything goes wrong.”

“Fine,” Clarke relented, and then pointedly glared at Wells. “That doesn’t mean I’m talking to my mother.”

Wells held his hands up in surrender, “I didn’t say anything.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes at him, “You were thinking it, though.”

“I was not,” he huffed. “I know better than that.”

“Yeah, you do,” Clarke replied, relaxing. “Harlee, while I have you here, let’s take a look at those stitches. They looked almost ready to come out last night.”

“Yes,” I exclaimed as I got to my feet. “They’ve been itching me like crazy.”

The small group laughed as I laid down on the table, pulling up my shirt to expose the bandage. Clarke cleaned her hands with some of Monty’s moonshine before she pulled off the bandage. She prodded the wound, making me clench my muscles at the feeling even though it no longer hurt.

“Does it still hurt,” Clarke asked, scrunching her brows together after seeing my reaction.

I cleared my throat, “No. Just a tad ticklish there.”

“Oh, really,” Clarke said, a mischievous smirk replacing her concerned frown.

“Don’t even think about it, _Klark_ ,” I warned, purposefully pronouncing her name in Trigedasleng, and making her unconsciously clench her thighs together.

“I hate it when you do that,” Clarke growled.

“Hate it when she does what,” Raven asked, joining us and proceeding to stare at my abs unabashedly.

“When she says my name a certain way,” Clarke huffed, and I laughed.

“Yep,” I beamed at Raven and purposefully flexed my abdominals for Raven’s benefit.

“Fuck,” Raven breathed out as she bit her lower lip.

“Oh come on,” Wells whined, making the girls whip their heads at him as I laughed. “Harlee, we’ve talked about this. At least wait until I’m gone.”

“But Wells, they make it too easy,” I complained, grinning.

That seemed to snap Raven out of her daze, and she smacked my leg, “Dammit, Harlee! You did that on purpose.”

“Yes. Yes, I did,” I replied with a smirk.

“Just for that,” Clarke mumbled as she pulled a stitch free with a hard twist making me yelp in pain. “That’s what you get, Harlee.”

I glared at her, “You know I don’t have to share my food with you, Clarke.”

Raven gasped in horror, “No, not the food! I love the food. Clarke, don’t let her take the food away.”

“What’s it gonna be, _Klark_ ,” I asked, cocking my brow in question and a smirk on my face.

Clarke started to pull a stitch out agonizingly slow, making my stomach clench painfully. I glowered at her as she just quirked a brow and continued to pull.

When it was out, I huffed, “Fine. You fucking win, Clarke. You don’t have to be a fucking sadist about it.”

Clarke chuckled and pulled the rest out with relative ease and minimal pain. She put a clean bandage on, and I sat up with a huff, glowering at her still.

“So, do we still get fed,” Raven asked as Clarke cleaned up.

“You never have to worry about going hungry, my Valkyrie,” I said, smiling at her. “Clarke, on the other hand, gets fed so that I don’t wind up being poisoned one day. There’s a reason they used to warn against pissing off your doctor.”

“Yep,” Clarke said, leaning her head against my shoulder and smiling sweetly at me. “We control the drugs and the pain. If you want the good ones and minimal pain, be nice to your doctor.”

“Plus, they can murder you and make it look like natural causes,” I said, shaking my shoulder to dislodge the blonde.

“Geez, lesson learned,” Raven said, a little wide-eyed. “Stay on Clarke’s good side. Got it.”

Clarke laughed, “I’m not that bad.”

“Oh, yes, you are,” Wells said. “Remember, Chloe, in third year?”

Clarke paused as she tried to remember and then blushed, scowling at Wells, “She deserved it. Chloe kept stealing my pencils.”

“Do we want to know,” Raven asked, stepping closer to me as Clarke and Wells continued to bicker.

“Probably not,” I replied, smiling at her. “Let’s get out of here before they remember we’re still here.”

“Sounds good,” Raven said, handing me my bag.

I slung it over my shoulder and headed out with Raven beside me. I walked her to her tent, but she stopped me before I could go to my hut.

“Everything okay, Raven,” I asked, concerned.

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine,” Raven replied, looking around. “Can you come in a sec?”

Confused, I nodded, “Yes.”

She nodded, and grabbing my hand, pulled me inside her tent. Still confused, I stood still as I watched her. Raven began pacing a bit, glancing at me every once in a while. Concerned, I dropped my bag and intercepted her.

Holding Raven by her shoulders, I asked, “Raven, what is it? I’ve never seen you act this way.”

“That’s the problem,” Raven replied. “I’ve _never_ felt this way. I thought it was just a build-up of tension. Or that’s it’s been too long. Or maybe an extreme physical thing. Then I thought that maybe it’s because of how shit went down. That it would just go away with time. With exposure. But it’s not. And it’s becoming extremely difficult to ignore.”

“Raven, what are you talking about,” I asked, rubbing her shoulders to calm her down.

“You,” she angrily huffed and tore out of my arms. “I’m talking about you! You’re everywhere. I’ve _tried_ not thinking about you, but that just made it worse. I thought maybe figuring you out would get rid of the pull, but the more I learn, the harder the pull. You’ve invaded every sense. God, even your smell just drags me deeper. And…and you…your body…those fucking muscles. It’s just not humanly possible. No one is that good looking or has your voice. No one! You’re not real. There’s no way you’re real.”

As much as it made me thrilled to hear her speak about me like that, I was more concerned about how agitated Raven was becoming.

“Raven,” I softly spoke, stepping closer to her, but not crowding her. “I need you to take a few slow, deep breaths for me. Please. Before you pass out.”

“And that’s another thing,” Raven spun on her heels and jabbed a finger in my chest, “You’re always looking out for me. Always making sure I’m okay, that I have enough to eat. That I sleep.”

I looked down at her, a soft smile on my lips, “Raven, I told you in that clearing that you’ll always be important to me. I will _always_ look out for you. Even at the cost of my own life. No matter what happens between us.”

“You can’t say shit like that, Harlee,” Raven cried, jabbing me with the finger again. “You’re supposed to be an asshole. Selfish. A player. You’re supposed to have a different girl every night.”

“That _was_ me, Raven,” I told her. “But meeting you…from the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were different. Suddenly things I thought I was never meant to have become possible. And it scares me to my very core. But it is also one of the best feelings I have ever had, and I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t _want_ anyone else, Raven. I only want you. But I _know_ you. Well, I’m learning about you, and I know that I can’t push whatever this is. If I tried, you’d run.”

“Why can’t you just be an asshole like everyone else,” Raven pouted, slapping her hand against my chest.

I chuckled, “Raven, I _am_ an asshole. And there will be days when you see that side of me. But” -I stepped closer and held her hips loosely- “nothing will ever change how I feel about you, my Valkyrie.”

Raven sighed as she looked up at me, tears gleaming in her eyes, “God, I so want to kiss you now.”

I leaned closer to her, looking her in the eyes, so she knew how sincere I am, “Is that something you really want?”

Raven nodded, a hand reaching up to cup the back of my head, pulling me closer, “Yes.”

Our lips connected, and it was sweet ecstasy. My eyes slid shut of their own accord as my arms slid around her, pulling her impossibly close. Raven’s hand on my chest fisted my shirt as the kiss deepened, mouths opening and tongues beginning to dance. I felt her shift and shifted with her, our lips never breaking. Not until the back of my legs connected with something, and she pushed against me. Forcing us apart as I fell to find myself sitting on her cot.

I looked up at her in surprise, seeing her eyes nearly consumed by black, my chest heaving as air rushed into my lungs. Raven’s chest heaved as she gasped for air, staring down at me. Then she was straddling my lap, and our mouths connected once more. Hungry for their taste. My hands roamed her back, slipping beneath her shirt and splaying across her hot skin. Raven moaned at the contact, and I swallowed it greedily. Her hands found their way into my hair, gripping the strands tight as our kiss turned into a fight for dominance.

“Hey, Ra—OH SHIT! I am so, so sorry,” a male voice broke in.

I growled low, making Raven whimper. I kissed her across her jaw in apology as she turned her head to face the intruder, sighing as I buried my head in her neck to keep my anger at bay.

“Monty, what is it,” Raven sighed in frustration.

The boy stuttered something I ignored. I was too focused on Raven’s pulse point against my lips to care. Not until I felt and heard her groan. Only then did I lean back and look between her and the entrance to the tent.

“You need to take care of something, don’t you,” I sighed, rubbing her lower back soothingly.

Raven nodded, leaning down to kiss me chastely, “Yeah. One of the Delinquents did something, and now the radio is making weird noises. Monty knows better than to touch my baby.”

I snorted a laugh, “Your baby, huh?”

Raven smiled, “Well, yeah. I built that thing from scraps. My blood and sweat went into making that radio. Tears were optional.”

I buried my head underneath her chin as I laughed. Raven played with the baby hairs along my neck until I calmed.

I sighed and moved her off my lap, standing her in front of me. Looking up at her as I continued to hold her hips, “Maybe the timing could have been better, but I think this is for the best. Otherwise, we’d have been here for hours and probably driven the camp insane.”

Raven snorted, “Someone thinks highly of themselves.”

I smirked and stood up, keeping ahold of her, “Only because it’s true. But you are welcome to come and find out later if the rumors are true.”

“I just might,” Raven said, pulling me down into another kiss. “God, I just can’t get enough of your lips. I should go.” -kiss- “I need to go.” -longer kiss and a groan- “I’m gonna go.”

To save Raven, I stepped back and bent over to grab my bag, “I’m gonna go. I’ll see you at dinner.”

I turned to leave, but Raven grabbed me by the wrist, turning me back to her. I looked at her in question, and she just smirked.

She leaned up and kissed me one last time before shooing me out of the tent. I ignored the looks and catcalls as I walked to my hut. But when I was sure I was out of sight of anyone, I adjusted the tightness of my pants and started thinking about anything else to ease the discomfort. I still had to inform the scouts about a group heading out in the morning. I also needed to prepare in case they did find the bunker, and it did have weapons inside. It wouldn’t bode well if it did. Time was really beginning to run out now.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, will you look at that. Three, count them, three chapters in twenty-four hours. Y'all must be something special if I could do this in a day. Enjoy it while it lasts because now, I need a break, lol. Just a short one cause my eyes are burning from looking at the screen.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

“Do you always stand there before bed feeling yourself up,” Raven’s voice brought me out of my thoughts.

I softly snorted, smirking as I glanced at her over my shoulder. Raven stood just inside the entrance, the candles I had lit flickering across her in a dance that made her impossibly more beautiful.

“Only when the woman I like professes to like me back,” I replied, turning to her. “I look at myself and my scars and wonder how anyone can see beyond them.”

Raven stepped slowly up to me, her eyes roving over my shirtless torso. Stopping less than a foot away, she looked up at me as if asking permission. I nodded just slightly, and she raised her hands to trace my skin.

“These scars,” Raven softly began, “are beautiful. They tell me of your strength and courage to not bend or break. These muscles that flex and move like dancers tell me of your unwillingness just to exist. They speak of your survival. Of your will to live. To keep this heart beating strong and powerful. I have no pity when I see these. I am in awe.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, smiling down at her. “Why do your hands tremble so, my Valkyrie?”

“I’m nervous,” Raven replied with a soft huff and continued her exploration.

“So am I,” I said, reaching up to gently tilt her head to look at me. “We don’t have to do anything, Raven. Just you being here is enough for me.”

Her eyes searched mine, and a smile built, “You’re telling me the truth.”

I nodded, stroking her jaw and cheek softly, “When it comes to intimacy, I will never pressure you, Raven. You have my sworn word. Being with me in that way is a bit…different. I’m a novelty to most. Not that I blame them, but it can be off-putting for some.”

“It just means we won’t have to go searching for strap-ons,” Raven joked.

I snorted in laughter and shook my head, “No, and yes, I do know what that is.”

“Can I ask you something,” Raven asked, hesitant as she dropped her gaze to somewhere around my throat.

“You can ask,” I replied. “If I’m not comfortable answering, I’ll let you know.”

Raven nodded against my hand, swallowing a few times, “Can you…are you able to…have children?”

I sighed, “I don’t know. I’ve never been to a doctor to have that tested. But in theory, yes. Everything works like it’s supposed to. Is that something you want? Children?”

“Is that something you want,” Raven countered.

I nodded, “One day. Not many, though. Any child I have, I want them to have a sibling or two.”

“You’re not afraid,” Raven asked, questioning me with a look.

“Oh, I am afraid, my Valkyrie,” I replied honestly. “I’m afraid that I won’t be able to give them a life they deserve. I’m afraid that I won’t get to see them grow up and have children of their own. But the one thing I’m not afraid of is being like my parents. I don’t hate myself that much to be like them.”

Raven slightly frowned, “But you do hate yourself?”

“Hate is maybe too strong of a word,” I said, sighing. “There are parts of myself that I’m not happy with. Things I know I need to work on. Especially my anger. I know I need to work through my past if I want to have any kind of future with _anyone_. Be it you or any future children.”

Raven nodded, “I think I’d like a kid or two. One day. But I’m afraid that I’ll be like my mom.”

I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear as I softly said, “I think, from the little bit you told me about her, I think, she wasn’t expecting to raise a child alone. Whatever caused your father to remain unknown and out of your life, hurt her. Combine that with raising a child anywhere else, but Alpha is difficult. I’m not saying that these are valid excuses for neglecting you as she did, but not everyone is strong enough to survive it. _You_ , Raven Reyes of Mecha, are strong enough. I do not doubt that. Plus, whoever you choose to live the rest of your life with, choose to bare children with, will not leave you to raise them alone.”

“How do you know that,” Raven brokenly whispered as a tear fell.

I swiped the tear away with my thumb and smiled reassuringly down at her, “Because _I_ would never leave you alone. Only death would have the strength to take me away. But even then, I would make sure that you weren’t left to face life alone.”

“God, you’re not lying, are you,” she sniffed as a hand rested against my heart.

I shook my head, smiling, “No, my sweet Valkyrie. Though, I think it’s a little funny we’re having this conversation now when we haven’t even discussed _what_ we are.”

Raven sniffed and chuckled, “It is funny. I mean, I literally just broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago, and I’m already talking about children. You must think I’m crazy.”

“That’s debatable,” I shrugged. “You _did_ launch yourself into space in a centuries-old escape pod. You have to be a bit touched in the head to do that.”

“Ass,” Raven joked and moved closer to lean against me, her head resting against my chest as her arm wrapped around my waist. “But I have to admit this is nice.”

“It is,” I replied, wrapping my arms around her and kissing the top of her head. “Raven, do you want there to be something between us?”

“Something more than sex, you mean,” Raven said, her hand tracing idly over my chest.

“I do.”

“Yes,” she replied after a long minute. “The other night, when I saw you kissing Roma and Bree, I got jealous. It was quick, and I got mad at myself for feeling it, but it was there. I don’t like thinking about you with anybody else. Do you?”

“I do,” I replied, trying not to think about how all of this could go terribly wrong when Raven learns the truth. “Raven, would you like to stay here tonight?”

“I’d think I’d like that,” she sighed. “But just sleeping, right?”

I nodded against her head, “Just sleeping. If that’s all, you want to do.”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind a bit more kissing,” Raven said, moving her head to look up at me, a cheeky grin on her face.

“I’m okay with that,” I smiled before leaning further to bring out lips together.

She sighed into the kiss, and I deepened it, moving us until we were lying on the bedroll. I broke the kiss to remove her boots as she sat up to remove her shirt. I froze, taking in the sight of her toned torso, making her chuckle. I grinned, tossed her boot aside, and patted her down to make sure nothing would stick us uncomfortably.

She laughed, “What are you doing?”

I leaned over and kissed her as I continued to find little things in her pockets, “Making sure you can’t stab me in your sleep. And I thought I was prepared, but you, my Valkyrie, like to have sharp, pointy things within easy reach.”

Raven chuckled and glanced at the small pile I had made, “I guess I do.”

“You do,” I replied, finished, and hovering slightly over her. “Is this okay?”

“More than,” she said, reaching up and bringing me closer.

I started kissing her again as our hands began roaming the contours of our upper bodies. We explored each other until the last candle guttered out and plunged us into the soft moonlit glow that permeated through the parachute ceiling of my little hut. I pulled a fur over us as she snuggled into me. Both of us sighing in contentment as sleep began to drag us down. And for the first time, my demons didn’t find me in the middle of the night.

I woke before dawn could begin etching the contents of my hut in light. My arms wrapped tightly around Raven’s smaller frame as she used my chest as a pillow. I loosened my hold on the younger woman, content to wake up slowly as dawn crept closer. A hand idly stroking the smooth expanse of Raven’s back as thoughts began to form and coalesce into coherency.

I began to think of what would happen today. If Clarke and her group would find the fabled depot and bring back needed supplies. If my fear would find a foundation about these children having the destructive power of firearms in their hands by nightfall. If Wells would gain the information I needed and we’d find out when the Ark would begin coming down. If, if, if…

“It’s too early to be thinking so loudly,” Raven’s sleep-laden voice jarred me from my tumbling thoughts.

I lifted my head and laid a kiss on Raven’s, “I’m sorry, my Valkyrie.”

She shifted until she had her head propped up to look at me, concern in her eyes, “What’s wrong? Was it a dream?”

“No, no dreams,” I sighed, reaching up and stroking her face. “I’m worried.”

“About?”

I felt a smile flutter over my lips, “Many things, I guess. I’m worried if Clarke will find the depot. If it will have supplies. I’m worried that if it were meant for defense, there would be guns inside. And if there are, what the Grounders will do once they see us with them.”

“Would they attack,” Raven asked, interrupting.

I shrugged, “I don’t know. The Grounders I’ve seen all carry swords, bows, knives. It makes me wonder what happened to all those weapons.”

“They could have run out of bullets,” Raven surmised.

“I think that’s the one thing humans wouldn’t have forgotten,” I replied. “We’re very good at building weapons, my Valkyrie. But that’s not all I’m worried about. I’m worried about what happens when the Council comes down. What it will mean with all that has been built here.”

“You don’t think the Council will keep its word,” she said, searching my face.

I licked my lips, “I think the Council will find a way around it. People like me. People with a death sentence from the moment they stood in front of the Council. Regardless of the reasons why it happened, I think the Council won’t want that loose. They’ll want to control and contain. No one here conforms to their ideals. Never really have. What do you think will happen the moment one of them steps a toe over the line?”

Raven sighed, “It’ll start all over again. They’ll be locked up. Maybe a different form of punishment, but they’ll never really be free. Not like they are here.”

I smiled, “Exactly.”

“Do Clarke and Wells know you have these worries?”

I nodded, “They do, but they are still idealistic. They still have hope that the Council still has some goodness inside them. But I’ve listened to them. I’ve heard the undertones. They say all the right things, but underneath it all, I can hear what they’re not saying. Once they come down, the Council expects everyone to fall back in line. To be good little sheep and let the adults fuck things up.”

“What can we do?”

“We prepare. And when the time comes, we do what we must.”

“Is that why you’ve been working with everyone,” Raven said, sitting up a little. “Getting them better at hunting and preserving food. Building traps. Self-defense training.”

I nodded, swallowing thickly, “Yes.”

Raven sat up abruptly as her eyes moved quickly back and forth, thinking, “You’re not planning on going back. Are you?”

“I can’t,” I replied, sitting up. “They will _kill_ me, Raven. Because they will _fear_ me.”

“Was your crime that bad,” Raven asked, not looking me in the eyes.

I closed my eyes as flashes of memory hit me, “Yes.”

“What did you do,” she quietly asked.

I shook my head, denying her because I did not want to lose her, and choked out, “I can’t.”

“Harlee…”

I shook my head vehemently, and opened tear-filled eyes, “Please don’t ask me, Raven. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you so soon.”

Raven leaned forward until we were touching foreheads, her hand circled my head and began playing with the hairs back there, “You won’t.”

“I will,” I said, letting the tears fall.

“You killed them, didn’t you,” Raven spoke softly.

I nodded and sniffed, “I did. But it’s _how_ and _when_ I did it. That is what you don’t want to know. That is what will make you leave.”

Raven took a shuddering breath and then another, before whispering, “Okay. I won’t push, but I hope one day you can tell me.”

“Thank you,” I stuttered.

She nodded, and pulled me closer, wrapping her arms around me until we were laying back down. This time she was holding me and giving me comfort as I cried listening to her heart. When I had calmed, I wiped the tears from my face and pushed up until I hovered over her.

“Thank you,” I whispered, watching her for permission and acceptance.

Seeing it, I leaned down and kissed her gently. Showing her how much it meant to me that she hadn’t pushed. Everything was soft and gentle, calming the sea of doubt and fear that my waking thoughts had brought both of us. Yet, still, we never went too far. Neither of us ready though our bodies begged us. It was just too soon and after my near confession, not the right time.

I settled back in her arms, listening to her heart slow, my body relaxing underneath her touch. We lay like that until the sun finally broke through and announced its arrival. I sighed and sat up, smiling at the pout on Raven’s face.

“We need to get up, my Valkyrie,” I said. “The others will be here for breakfast soon.”

Raven dramatically sighed, but sat up as well, wrapping her arms around me as she lay her head between my shoulders.

“Can’t we just keep breakfast for ourselves,” Raven pouted.

I chuckled, “No. I do not want to listen to Octavia pouting for the rest of the morning.”

Raven snorted, “She is such a child sometimes.”

“Comparatively speaking, she is,” I replied. “Octavia is like a combination of a toddler and teenager. All energy and rebelliousness. But her time with Lincoln seems to be tempering that somewhat. Still, I am the one that has to deal with it while you and Wells get to hide in the dropship, and Clarke gets to go on a field trip.”

“Oh, poor you,” Raven mocked.

I growled and spun us around until I had her pinned beneath me. She looked up at me in shock, and I just smirked before planting a kiss on her lips. Getting up, I moved to the hidden entrance and stepped outside to retrieve breakfast. There was a note sticking out of the basket, and I quickly shoved it into a pocket. Sighing that my day had started, I walked back inside. Raven was moving the curtain that served as the door to the side to let the morning light in. I glanced out and saw the others already making their way over. I sighed again and set about getting ready for the day. Today was going to be a long one. I could feel it.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Chapter 30, y'all. It took me a minute or three, but here it is. I was planning something else, and then once more inspiration struck and I went a different way. I like it better than what I had planned. No words of wisdom or random songs today, except that it is freaking hot! Temperature-wise here in Texas, not the chapter. Get y'all's minds outta the gutter, lol.
> 
> Okay, and just a slight side note for you. Living in Texas, I gauge distance by time not miles. I can't remember if that's just a Texas thing or if it's an American thing, but anyway. For those interested, I looked this up. The distance between the camp and the depot, I gave it three hours. I have no clue what it was on the show. Anyway, based on a few internet distance calculators and guessing their average speed to be around 2-3 mph, the depot's located approximately 10-12 miles away. If that's something you wanted to know.
> 
> Okay, anyway, Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

After breakfast, we walked as a group where the team Murphy and I had put together were slowly gathering. I mentally went over our choices, and though they were inexperienced, I knew they could get the job done. The group consisted of Harper, Monroe, Dax, Troy, Bruno, and Miller. Though Dax and Troy were there for the heavy lifting, all of them had sharp minds and were quick learners. Dax had surprised me. I had thought him nothing more than a brute with a hidden cruel side. But he was protective of those he was loyal to and seemed to thrive under encouragement. Miller was quiet, but like Murphy, he didn’t miss much. Only speaking when he felt it necessary. Harper and Monroe were eager and excitable but were some of the few girls in camp who didn’t quit easily. They rose to each challenge I set them and kept at it until they succeeded. Troy and Bruno were two of Murphy’s boys. They tended to follow Murphy’s lead but could hold their own when things became difficult. But most importantly, I trusted them to keep Clarke safe.

Nearing them, I wasn’t sure of Raven’s views on public display so, I settled on a squeeze of her hand before I headed to the team. A glance back showed her following me with her eyes with a soft smile on her lips. I refocused on the team and set about instructing them on what I expected. Letting them know that Dax was in charge, but Clarke was leading the expedition. They all agreed with the plan, and I left them to finish getting ready. Just as I joined back with Clarke and the others, Finn sauntered up, his boyish smile fading into a scowl as he noticed me.

“Hey, got room for one more,” Finn said, ignoring me as he smiled charmingly at Clarke.

“We’ve got more than enough,” I said before Clarke could say anything.

“I’ve been in that area,” Finn countered. “You’re going to need a tracker.”

“You don’t even know where they’re going, Finn,” Raven cut in, glaring at the boy.

“There’s nothing to track,” I said, scowling. “If there were, Troy’s good at reading the signs. All six of them are good in the woods.”

“Harlee, can I speak to for a moment,” Clarke interjected. “Alone.”

I sighed but nodded, and we moved away from the group.

Clarke stepped close and dropped her voice, “I’m not happy about him volunteering either, but you know he’s going to follow anyway.”

I frowned but nodded, seeing the point she was making, “Better to keep him in sight than not. Alright, he can go, but under no circumstances are you to go off alone with him. Is that understood.”

Clarke huffed a little, “I can take care of myself, Harlee.”

A small smile played on my lips, “No, you can’t. You haven’t joined us once since I’ve started training everyone.”

“Maybe not,” she relinquished, “but if push comes to shove, I’m no wallflower.”

I smiled, “I know, but I’d rather it not come to that. Just be careful. I don’t trust that Finn won’t try something. I’ve seen how he hovers near you whenever you’re about camp. He’s obsessed with you.”

Clarke sighed and ran a hand through her hair, “I know. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he just brushes it off and says that he’ll do better.”

“I get it,” I replied. “But Clarke, don’t blind yourself to reality in your need to see the good in everyone. Evil is very good at hiding underneath an innocent façade. I’m not saying that Finn is evil or that you’re naïve, I’m just asking you to be cautious. You’re too important to put yourself in danger.”

Clarke smiled at me, “I’ll be careful, Harlee.”

I sighed, “Okay. The team’s almost ready to go. They’ll meet you by the gate.”

“Thank you,” she replied and headed back.

I headed back to the team, calling Harper and Monroe forward. I let them know that their new duty was to guard Clarke’s back. When I told them why neither girl was happy about the addition to the group, they agreed with the need to keep Clarke safe and swore they’d make sure Clarke was never alone with Finn. I let them go and went to Dax next. I reminded him that he was in charge and that he was responsible for everyone’s safety, but especially Clarke’s. I also told him that if Finn did anything to compromise the mission and put them in danger, he had permission to handle Finn. Without killing the boy. I swore to Dax that I would take full responsibility if Clarke had a problem with it. Dax agreed and just in time because Clarke was ready to go. We watched them leave, and I heard the bird call to let me know my scouts were following them.

When they had disappeared from view, Raven came up to me and wrapped me in a hug, “I don’t like this.”

I looked down at her, frowning, but she was looking out towards where the group had disappeared.

“Don’t like what, Raven,” I asked, rubbing her back soothingly.

“Can the others be trusted, Harlee? The group you sent,” she asked, looking up at me.

I nodded, “Yeah, Harper and Monroe will have Clarke’s back. Dax and Miller are the best fighters. Troy and Bruno are Murphy’s, and as long as he trusts me, they trust me. What’s got you worried, my Valkyrie?”

“Finn. Finn has me worried,” Raven replied. “There’s just…I have a bad feeling, Harlee. Something’s going to happen.”

I frowned deeper, “Do you want me to follow them? Make sure nothing happens.”

Raven looked at me and then out into the forest, “I know you’re recovering, but…”

“Hey,” I said, tilting her chin to look at me. “If it will make you feel better, I’ll go. Their trail will be easy enough to follow and catch up to.”

“Please,” she said, the worry etched on her face. “There’s just…in the pit of my stomach. This doesn’t feel right.”

“Okay,” I nodded, holding her tighter. “Okay. I’ll go. I need my bow and quiver, though.”

“Thank you,” Raven said, leaning up and pulling me into a deep kiss.

“You don’t have to thank me,” I replied, kissing her on her forehead. “Honestly, I’d feel better, too if I were with them. Let me go tell Octavia and Murphy they’ll be leading the training, and then, I’ll get after them.”

Raven nodded, kissed me again before heading into the dropship. I jogged over where Octavia and Murphy were beginning to guide the training. I let them know that they were in charge for the day. They nodded their acceptance, and I ran to my hut to grab my things. I stopped for a moment and rebraided my hair into tighter braids, then I was slinging my things over my shoulders and headed out the secret entrance. I climbed up the nearest tree and started moving to my old camp.

Avil joined me, “Boss, what’re you doing?”

“Finn’s joined the team to investigate the depot,” I told him. “Neither Raven nor I feel good about it. So, I’m going to follow after them to make sure nothing happens. But I’m not going without some better protection.”

“Then you might want to follow me, Boss,” Avil sheepishly replied. “We’ve moved camp closer to the rest of the unit.”

“Of course, you would,” I sighed. “Let’s go. They’ve already got a half-hour jump on me.”

“Like you can’t catch up even injured as you are,” Avil said, taking the lead.

I laughed, “Okay. Yeah, you’re right.”

Avil laughed as we raced across the trees. Soon enough, we were dropping out of the trees and moving quickly to my tent. Those in camp bowed to me as I passed, Deke meeting me outside my tent.

“Wocha,” Deke said, following me inside as Avil remained outside. “We’ve been able to deter the Ripas en Maunon easily. The men will be on their feet in no time.”

I paused in removing my shirt and looked at him in question, “What are you going on about, Deke?”

Deke replied, “The note? With breakfast?”

“Oh, I haven’t had a chance to read it,” I said, putting on a clean shirt before strapping on my upper body armor. “What’s going on?”

“The Ripas have increased their attacks, and more Maunon scouts have been spotted and deterred recently. No one has come up missing or died from the attacks. But a third of the men have been injured in some way.”

“Ah,” I replied as I started digging through my weapons chest. “The Ripas are a distraction. The Maunon are attempting to draw the patrols away from this area so they can investigate the Sky Fallen. Three weeks is plenty of time for Trikru to handle the invaders.”

“That is what Indra and I concluded,” Deke agreed.

I found what I was looking for, my preferred sidearm, an old, but still reliable HK45. After clearing and loading a clip in it, I slid it into a unique holster at the back of my armor.

“Okay, now what’s going on with you, Lee,” Deke asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

I sighed, “There is a boy at the camp, Finn. The story is complicated, but he has become obsessed with Skaikru’s leader, Klark. Today she’s leading a team to the depot near the underwater village. He decided to join them. Finn’s ex-lover, and I have a bad feeling about his involvement.”

“So, you are going to make sure that nothing happens,” Deke knowingly replied.

“Sha, I am,” I said. “I know I’m still recovering, and that we have a team following them, but I will feel better if I go too.”

“Well, at least, you’re smart enough to wear armor, but your sidearm?”

I rolled my eyes and started walking out of the tent, “If the depot has fayagons, I would rather be prepared than not.”

“I agree,” Deke replied and stopped at the edge of the camp. “Just make sure that you come back in one piece.”

I grinned as I jumped up to the first tree branch and looked at him, “I’ll try, but I make no promises. These Sky Fallen have caused me more injuries than that time in Alban. And _they_ were actively trying to kill me.”

Deke laughed, “Then let’s hope your plan works, and you can return to something safer.”

“Agreed. I’ll see you in a couple of days, Deke,” I replied and with Avil behind me, headed deeper into the trees and after Clarke and her team.

We caught up with both groups a little over an hour later. I decided to stay in the trees and follow Clarke and them from above. This expedition was meant to also act as a test. I had needed a way to test their proficiency, and this had come at the perfect time. I wasn’t going to ruin it by interfering. Not unless it became necessary. As much as they needed to prove to me their trustworthiness, I needed to do the same. I needed to show them that I trusted them to get the job done and keep each other safe. So, I was going to use the opportunity to judge for myself.

It was easy enough to keep up with the group. They were moving slowly, marking the trail as Clarke made sure they were following the map. I was surprised that Clarke appeared to have a decent grasp of directions without a compass. Knowing that there was no need for maps or compasses on the Ark, I wondered who taught her how to do both. 

So far, the trip was uneventful. The Skai goufas’ steps were much quieter than when their training had started. Even Clarke was taking the opportunity to work on her stealth. Asking advice from Harper and Monroe on how they did it. Finn, on the other hand, wasn’t. He was making a trail a child could find, and while the others kept conversations to a minimum and hushed, Finn kept trying to start one with Clarke. Trying to excuse his behavior and flatter Clarke into believing him. Each time though, Clarke shut Finn down, and he would sulk back a bit to the middle of the group. Then, not ten minutes later, he was trying again. I was surprised by Clarke’s restraint even though I could see her fisting the map in her hands and rolling her neck to ease her tension. Still, she hadn’t punched him or yelled at him yet.

At a little over the halfway mark, Dax suggested a break, and Clarke agreed. They walked a bit further until they came to a small clearing. Dax and Miller walked the perimeter as the rest found places to rest. Each pulling out a ration pack and water pouch. While I noticed that the group ate and drank sparingly, Finn did not. He guzzled down his water.

“You shouldn’t drink so much so quickly, Finn,” Clarke warned Finn. “We don’t know when we’ll find water.”

“You have a map,” Finn countered, pulling a ration pack out of his bag. “There’s water marked on it, right?”

“This map is from before the bombs, Finn,” Clarke tiredly replied. “And as that one river with the snake proved, this map isn’t accurate anymore. It’s only good for approximate distances and possible terrain. So, even though it shows water sources, there’s no guarantee that those water sources will be there.”

“How much longer until we reach the depot,” Harper interjected before an argument could be started.

Clarke pulled out the map and did some rough calculations, “At the pace, we’re going, maybe an hour, hour and a half. That will give us plenty of time to search for an entrance and then look for supplies.”

“What do you think we’ll find,” Monroe asked.

Clarke shrugged, “I don’t know. Kane said that the depot was designed to withstand nuclear fallout, but it’s been centuries. And knowing that people survived, it could have already been ransacked.”

“Then why are we even bothering to look,” Finn indignantly huffed.

“It doesn’t hurt to look,” Clarke replied, her voice tinging with annoyance. “Even if the place doesn’t have supplies, it might prove to be big and sturdy enough to shelter us better. The nights are getting colder, and if the seasons are anything like they used to be before the bombs, the weather will be getting worse. Our tents won’t last, and we don’t have enough blankets or warm clothing to keep us from freezing to death. If we want to live through winter, we need better shelter and supplies.”

“What about approaching the Grounders,” Harper asked. “Lincoln’s proven to be helpful. Maybe his leaders are too.”

Finn scoffed, “There’s only one reason why that Grounder has been helpful, and it isn’t because he’s a nice guy.”

Monroe and Harper both stood up as Monroe said, “Watch what you’re saying, Finn. Octavia’s our friend.”

“I’d shut up if I were you, Collins,” Troy spoke up, coming to stand by the girls. “Unless you want another ass beating.”

Finn stood up and retorted, “That _freak_ got lucky.”

Avil laid a calming and restraining hand on my arm to keep me from killing the stupid boy. I glared at Avil, but he just gave me a pointed look. I forced myself to calm down, and when I was, Avil let go. I nodded to him in thanks before moving to walk around the perimeter of the clearing. Using the time away to calm myself further.

By the time I was calmed, the group was readying themselves to head out. The scouts spread out around the group of Skai goufas as we followed them. Ignoring Finn, I focused on watching the group as a whole. Paying attention to how they used the training I had given them. My only real complaint was that they weren’t looking up and into the trees as often as they should. Even when a few of my scouts purposefully made noise, they still didn’t look up.

We continued this game until a bird call from a scout ahead, notified that we were nearing our destination. The scouts spread out further to watch from the trees. There was an exciting sound of triumph as the Skai goufas broke through the tree line, which quickly turned to stunned silence as they saw the lake covered village.

Forced to stay in the trees, I soon lost the ability to hear their conversations. But I kept my eyes on Clarke’s sun-bright hair as she ordered the group about. I thought for sure that their search for an entrance would be in vain, but not twenty minutes later, I was proven wrong. Troy found an entry buried underneath a thin layer of dirt and grass.

“Boss,” Avil spoke up as I let out a curse.

I sighed and shook my head, “It’s fine. I’m just wondering if that team from twenty years ago even bothered to look. Or if they took one look at the village and figured the bunker was under that water too.”

“Do you think they’ll find anything?”

“I don’t know. We only had locations of military supply depots. Not their inventory,” I replied. “We lost so much information to corruption, purges, and nature. We were damn lucky we didn’t lose everything.”

It was another twenty minutes before I noticed something was wrong. Bruno, who had elected to remain outside and on guard, was beginning to act strangely. Bruno was swatting and ducking on occasion. I narrowed my eyes, trying to detect if there was a valid reason for his behavior, but as far away as I was, I couldn’t see anything.

“Something’s not right, Av,” I said. “I need to get closer.”

Avil nodded, having seen what I did, “Be careful, boss.”

I grinned up at him as I started dropping out of the tree, “Always.”

He just snorted, and then I was on the ground. I made my way closer as Bruno’s movements started to become more erratic, and I could hear him yelling at something. When I heard him yelling at pixies, I knew there was definitely trouble. I whistled to bring the scouts closer as I slowly approached Bruno.

I stepped out from behind a tree, my hands held up to show I meant no harm, and slowly walked towards Bruno, “Hey, Bruno? Is everything okay?”

That stopped Bruno from swatting as he spun to look at me. He ducked, confusion clear on his face, “Harlee? What are you doing here? You need to get out of here. The damn pixies are everywhere.”

I nodded, still walking to him, “I see that. But the pixies can’t touch me. I’m wearing special armor” -I tapped my chest to prove it- “and if you come to me, they’ll leave you alone too.”

“Armor,” Bruno questioned, stepping closer. “Where’d you get armor?”

“A friend,” I replied. “It emits this smell that pixies hate. That’s why I need you to come closer, Bruno.”

“Wow, that’s pretty cool,” Bruno said, moving closer while ducking and swatting at nothing. “Do you think your friend could make me some?”

I smiled, “Pretty sure he can. Next time I see him, I’ll ask.”

“Is it Octavia’s friend, Lincoln,” he asked, moving closer still.

I took a hesitant step forward, itching to have him close, “No. This is a different friend. His name’s Sven. He and his entwined make the best armor in the clans. But I may be biased.”

“Entwined?”

“Um, other half,” I explained, getting slowly closer to Bruno. “Like soul mates. You’d never think of it working out between them, but they’ve been together for over thirty years with six children.”

Bruno stopped and stared at me in shock, “Six kids?!”

I chuckled, “I know. But, as I was saying, Sven and his entwined make special armor. Some ward off pixies. Others ward off Draugrs, which are the undead. But they still stop blades and bullets.”

Bruno was finally within reach, and before he could react, I grabbed him and quickly incapacitated him. I laid him gently on the ground and began to look for signs of what could have caused his behavior. Avil and another scout, Aleso, joined me. Not finding anything, I leaned back on my knees as I tried to figure out the cause.

“Check his breath, Wocha,” Aleso suggested.

I looked at her for a moment and then leaned over until I could smell his breath. There was a nutty scent to it. I slid his bag from his shoulders and quickly dug inside until I came to the ration packs we had made last night. Opening them up, I dumped the contents on the ground. Besides what I knew we’d packed, there were also nuts I _know_ I had specified to stay away from.

“Jobi,” Avil said, seeing the nuts.

I nodded, “Someone tampered with the ration packs. I know because I watched them pack last night. I thought I had them burn all the jobi nuts when I found them among the rations.”

“Who,” Aleso asked.

“Finn,” I growled, spinning and standing to face the bunker entrance. “Get the rest of the scouts down here. Then follow me into the bunker.”

“Sha, Wocha,” they both replied.

I pulled my sidearm out, keeping the safety on as I walked over to the entrance. I paused just out of sight and strained to hear any noise. When I heard nothing, I cautiously entered, and alert for anything. As I made my way down the stairs that were covered with dust and cobwebs, I was greeted with skeletal remains that were turning to dust. I scanned the dust-covered floor for prints and began following them. The sounds of voices and erratic laughter began to echo as I moved further into the bunker. The air was damp and musty-smelling, telling me that the seals did not hold.

The sound of flint striking and the sudden fwoosh of a flame catching made me peer back. The scouts had lit torches to counteract the darkness. I turned back and closed my eyes to allow them to adjust back to the darkness in front of me. When the after images of flames had receded, I opened them and turned the corner. Checking the ground to make sure I was still following the teens.

The voices seemed to fade as an eerie green glow began to appear in front of me. It wasn’t the typical color of the bioluminescent fungus that typically grew in areas like this. More cautious now, I slowed down as I listened harder for any noise besides the constant drip of water. The sound of rustling and banging alerted me that someone was moving in a room to my right. I eased to the edge of the open arch and peered cautiously inside. Movement and the source of the green glow caught my attention and pulled me to a far corner of the room. It was Miller, and it looked like he was breaking things open and frantically looking for something. Mumbling under his breath.

Unlike Bruno, I didn’t give Miller a chance. I slid soundlessly into the room and made my way to the boy. Avoiding anything that could trip me or alert Miller to my presence. With a soft sigh, I knocked him out and dragged him to the open arch. Without a word, a scout lifted the boy in his arms and carried him back and outside the bunker. Two down, six to go.

That’s how we made our way through the bunker. Clearing each room, knocking out any teen we found and carrying them outside. We had reached the entrance to another room, and the voices inside let me know that we had found the last three teens, Monroe, Clarke, and Finn. I raised my hand to stop the scouts as I cautiously peered around the edge.

Monroe was crying and pleading on the floor a few feet from the entrance. Finn and Clarke were near the far end opposite the door. Clarke didn’t appear like she was completely aware of everything going on while Finn was angrily spouting at Monroe to shut up. When I saw Finn raise a gun in Monroe’s general direction, I knew we were running out of time. I pulled back, thinking quickly and with hushed whispers laid out the plan. Avil was not happy with it, but after glancing into the room, he knew it was the best with what we had.

The scouts slid into the room unnoticed, taking up positions throughout the room. I waited a minute or two before stepping into the room and behind a crate. I waited until Finn had turned to stop Clarke from going to Monroe and struck. I grabbed Monroe, making sure she screamed, and the sound of me dragging her struggling to the door made them both spin to look in our direction. Then I knocked Monroe out, and her scream instantly silenced.

“Roe,” Clarke called out, stuttering in fear, and taking a few steps forward.

Finn grabbed Clarke and dragged her back, “Nah-uh, Princess. You’re not going anywhere.”

“Let me go,” Clarke struggled against his hold. “What if they got her? We need to find her.”

“Then that’s one less bitch we need to worry about,” Finn replied, his lip curling in a snarl.

Clarke struck him in the chest, “She’s not a bitch! Finn, let me go.”

Throwing my voice, and in a tone that usually caused grown men to tremble, I whispered, “Finn.”

Finn spun around, dragging Clarke with him, and raising his gun in the direction he thought I was, “Who’s there?”

Doing it again and coming from a different direction, I whispered in a singsong, “Finn.”

“Dammit! Show yourself,” he yelled as he spun around again.

“Finn,” I whispered, making him spin in a different direction.

Sinister laughter echoed out, and Finn fired his gun.

“You missed,” I whispered, and the scouts echoed, “missed.”

“Finn, let me go,” Clarke begged. “Please.”

“Please,” I mockingly whispered, and the scouts picked it up.

If this weren’t so serious, I’d be having too much fun driving Finn crazy like this.

We continued this for a few more moments while Finn wasted bullets firing at nothing. Hearing Clarke beginning to cry hysterically, I knew we had to end it. Pulling the hood that was attached to my armor over my head, I stood up and broke a chemlight beneath my face. The sound made them both face me, stunned.

“Boo,” I said, and before they could react, I covered the chemlight and moved silently to a new spot.

“What the fuck,” Finn screeched, and moved towards the center of the room, dragging Clarke with him. “Who the fuck are you?!”

“You break into _my_ house and _dare_ make demands,” I maliciously hissed, exposing my face once more. “Foolish child!”

“Th-the sk-ske-skel-skeleton,” Clarke whispered frantically.

“Shut up,” Finn growled, wrapping an arm around Clarke’s neck.

He raised the gun in the direction I had been, but I had already moved.

“Shut up,” I mocked, and the scouts echoed it throughout the room.

Finn fired the gun several times randomly about the room, screaming and demanding I show myself.

I moved until I was a few feet behind him, letting the chemlight fall to the ground. He spun around, and I grabbed the wrist of the hand that held the gun. I squeezed until he screamed out in pain, and the weapon fell from numb fingers. At the same time, I knew Avil blew a sleeping dart at the boy’s exposed back. The moment I felt Finn’s body grow limp, I let his wrist go and grabbed Clarke before he dragged her down.

Clarke screamed as I wrapped my arms around her. I reached up and pulled the hood off my head, and forced her to look at me.

“Clarke,” I said, slapping my hand over her mouth. “It’s okay, Clarke. It’s me. It’s Harlee.”

Her eyes widened even more in the eerie glow of the chemlight.

“Harlee,” her muffled voice stuttered out in surprise.

“Yeah, _prisa_ ,” I replied, stroking her back soothingly. “It’s alright. You’re safe.”

“Monroe,” she startled and tried to get free.

“Shhh, _Klark_ ,” I soothed. “Monroe and the others are fine. Everything’s going to be okay. Just relax.”

“Finn! He—”

“Shhh, I know, _Klark_. I know. I need you to calm, _prisa_.”

Clarke began to relax in my arms, and I let out a sigh in relief. I gently moved her hair away from Clarke’s face as I stroked it and made her look at me.

“Are you really here,” Clarke asked in wonder.

I smiled, “I’m really here, _Klark_. And I’m sorry about this.”

She looked at me in confusion, “Sorry? Wha—,” and her eyes rolled back as her body went completely limp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, what did y'all think? Let me know.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's your daily dose. And don't worry, questions will be answered in the next chapter.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

CLARKE POV

My head was painfully pounding to the beat of my heart as I woke up. My throat was dry, and when I swallowed, my mouth tasted like something had died in it. I registered I was laying down, but it felt nothing like the metal of the dropship or the makeshift cot in my tent. It was soft and scratchy at the same time. Something was giving off warmth in front of me, and sounds began to register. There sounded like the crackle of flames and voices speaking softly but unintelligible. I tried to think, to figure out where I was, but the pain in my head made it so, so difficult.

But I forced myself to push past the pain. To remember, but the last thing I remembered was walking into the bunker and seeing the abysmal state it was in. After that, everything was a jumbled mess. Something happened, but what?

Then it all came back in a rush. My cell on the Ark. Dad. Finn. Finn trying to take me somewhere. Monroe. Monroe pleading about something. Voices. The ghost. And Harlee?

I shot up, rapidly blinking as I looked wildly about. I was outside. Wait. We were all outside. How? The sound of radio static and then Raven’s voice drew my attention, and I saw Harlee, of all people, holding the radio. Harlee saw me sitting up, and there was a look of relief on her face, confusing me even further.

“Raven,” Harlee spoke into the radio, interrupting the girl mid-speech. “I’m going to have to let you go. Clarke’s awake.”

“ _Clarke’s awake_ ,” came Raven’s reply, and I could hear the girl’s relief from where I was sitting. “ _Thank fuck. Let her know the camp’s doing fine. Wells and, here’s a surprise; Murphy have been handling everything with no problems. You’ll contact me before you settle down for the night?_ ”

Harlee smiled as she looked down at the radio, and I suddenly felt like I was intruding, “I will, my Valkyrie. I’ll speak to you soon.”

“ _I—Okay. Raven out_.”

Harlee flipped a switch, and I heard a soft click before she set the radio aside. I watched as she got up and neared the fire where I saw a kettle and a boar roasting over it. Harlee poured whatever was in the kettle into a mug and then approached me.

Crouching near, but keeping a respectful distance, Harlee smiled at me, “I’m glad you’re awake, Clarke. I was beginning to worry that none of you would anytime soon. Here, it’s willow bark tea. It should help with that headache and get rid of that nasty taste in your mouth.”

She held it out to me, and I took it. Peering into the mug, I let the warmth of the tea seep into my hands as I held it for a moment. Raising it, I sniffed at it tentatively before taking a small sip. Immediately, it soothed my throat even as I blanched at the bitterness.

“Thank you,” I said after taking a few more sips to keep from scalding my tongue. “What happened?”

I glanced up to see a dark scowl on Harlee’s face before she took on a more neutral expression, “What do you remember?”

I frowned as I thought back, things were still jumbled, but I tried to piece it together as I told her, “I remember entering the bunker, seeing the skeleton at the bottom of the stairs, and entering the first room. After that, I’m not sure.”

Harlee sighed and nodded, “You ingested what Lincoln calls jobi nuts. When they’re overripe and eaten, they can cause visions and such. When I caught up with you, most of you were in the bunker, but Bruno was outside. He thought he was getting attacked by pixies. I knocked him out, and when I didn’t see any marks on him, I went through his bag and found the nuts.”

Harlee paused, scowling darkly again before growling, “I went over the ration packs myself with them last night. I _know_ those nuts weren’t in them. When I discovered them with the other nuts, I had the gatherers burn them.”

“Are you saying someone purposefully put them in our rations,” I asked, confused as to why someone would.

Harlee nodded, “When I told Raven what happened, she” -Harlee smiled a little dopily and pridefully- “she went off on the group. Scared the shit out of everyone. It was enough to get Jasper to confess. He and _Finn_ ” -Harlee growled his name- “went back after everyone was asleep and put the nuts in every ration pack.”

“Why,” I asked, setting the mug down. “Why would they do that? Did they know about what could happen?”

Harlee nodded, turning to stare at the flames of the fire, “They did. Jasper thought and believed that Finn only wanted to play a prank. Make the trip a ‘trip.’ He swears up and down that he didn’t know what Finn was really planning.”

“What was Finn planning,” I asked, still trying to piece everything that happened together.

Harlee looked back at me, “I was hoping you could tell me that. I found you, Monroe, and Finn in a room together. Finn had a gun, and he was shooting randomly into the room. I got Monroe out of there before Finn could hurt her, then when his gun was empty, I went after him. When he realized he couldn’t beat me, Finn struck you and shoved you at me, then took off running. I got worried when you lost consciousness, and he got away. I haven’t seen him since.”

I frowned, picking the mug back up and sipping it as I thought. Everything seemed real and, at the same time, not. I wasn’t sure what I saw or heard, and it frustrated me.

“I was back on the Ark,” I told her. “In my cell. I couldn’t figure out how I had gotten back there, and then my dad showed up. And it felt so real, Harlee. When I hugged him, I swear I could feel his arms around me. It felt so good to talk to him, but then he said something that didn’t make sense.”

“Lincoln told me that the jobi nuts could give someone powerful visions,” Harlee spoke up when I lapsed into silence. “That they can be very real to the person having them.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled as sadness and grief grabbed ahold of me, and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

I heard something shift, and then warm arms were around me. The comfort was overwhelming, and the tears started falling faster as it felt like I lost my dad all over again. The arms held me as I cried, and when they lessened, I felt someone rubbing my back, and soothing words were whispering to me. I realized that Harlee was holding me.

I sniffled, “I’m sorry,” and tried to move, but Harlee held onto me.

“It’s alright,” Harlee whispered. “Just take your time.”

I nodded and relaxed into her, “It’s like losing him all over again.”

“You really loved your dad, huh,” Harlee said, her voice still soft and calm.

“We were close. I could tell him anything. I really miss him, Harlee,” I stuttered out.

“I don’t doubt it. Raven said that he was a great guy. I wish I could have met him. Tell me what you remember next.”

I sighed, glad to focus on something else, “It felt like I was being dragged somewhere. When I blinked, the Ark was gone, and I was somewhere dark. It must have been deeper in the bunker. And it was Finn dragging me. I tried to get away from him, but at the same time, I was so scared that I was glad I wasn’t alone. I think I remember Monroe trying to follow us, but she sounded even more frightened than I was. And then we stopped, and Finn started ranting about how he loved me and that we were meant to be together. It was all jumbled. I think he said he was going to take me away and show me that I loved him.”

There was a deep rumble in Harlee’s chest, and her grip tightened around me for a second before she relaxed again.

“The bastard was planning on kidnapping you,” Harlee growled. “I should have gone after him.”

“Harlee, it’s okay,” I said, trying to calm her down. “It’s not ideal, but he’s gone.”

“But he can still hurt you,” Harlee lamented. “He’s out there. Alive. He could come back.”

I shifted until I could see her face, “Harlee, we’ll figure it out. For now, though, I’m safe. I don’t know what happened, except that I was terrified and there was a ghost and sinister voices. And then you were there. You were there, right?”

“Yes, I was there,” Harlee relented. “I had to knock everyone out, but everyone’s safe for now. I found a crate full of blankets and bedrolls or sleeping bags; I’m not sure. So, I made a camp and went hunting. We’re as safe as can be with a couple of _Trikru_ scouts watching us.”

“What,” I sat up in her arms in shock. “Scouts? Where?”

“In the trees,” Harlee said, pointing in the direction of the forest. “They followed you. Lincoln said that the scouts always follow us when we leave camp. It’s fine. They have orders not to interfere unless we get too close to one of their villages.”

“Fuck,” I said, sagging against her. “And you’re sure that we’re fine. That we’re safe.”

Harlee nodded, “I am. They won’t mess with us. One of them actually came out and helped me move you guys when he saw me struggling. Didn’t say one fucking word. Just helped me move you and left again.”

“Maybe the Grounders aren’t all bad after all,” I sighed.

Harlee scoffed, “I’ve been telling you that, Clarke. What happened to Jasper is tragic, but it makes sense. You tried to cross a boundary to a place that is forbidden. Lincoln said that it would have happened to anyone. Not just us. But that’s something we can talk about another day. How are you feeling?”

“The tea’s helped,” I said, grabbing the mug and drinking the still warm concoction. “My head isn’t hurting as much.”

“Good,” she replied. “If you’ll get off me now, I can check on the boar. You’ll probably start to feel hungry soon.”

I chuckled and got off her, but grabbed her arm before she moved away, “Thank you, Harlee. For coming after us and everything else.”

Harlee smiled and nodded, “You’re welcome. Raven and I had a bad feeling when you left, and it just made sense to follow you. I’m glad that the worst is that you all will have is a headache.”

“Me too,” I said, letting her go and watched as she moved to check on the meat.

We lapsed into companionable silence as Harlee busied herself around the camp, and I sipped the tea. I thought back to the conversation I had with my dad. About forgiveness. Forgiving Mom, but how could I? She betrayed her family. She got Dad floated. _Murdered_. She got me arrested, and I _know_ I would have been floated. And for what? What could have been more important than what we had been trying to do?

“Harlee,” I called to her, looking up to find her whittling.

She looked up at me, “Hmm?”

“Should I forgive her? Forgive Mom,” I meekly asked.

“I need more context, Clarke,” Harlee said with a small smile.

I felt heat rush my cheeks, “Right. To keep it short, Mom is the one who turned Dad in and got him floated. And got me arrested and sent to solitary. For a year, she let me think that Wells is the one who betrayed me.”

“Do you know why she turned your dad in,” Harlee curiously asked.

“Because she didn’t think the people would handle the news well. That they would riot once they learned the Ark systems were failing,” I replied.

“Are you sure,” she asked, turning to face me fully.

I frowned, “Well, yeah. She argued with him over it.”

Harlee nodded, “Have you talked to your mom to get her side of the whole thing?”

“No,” I grumbled. “Every time I think about it, I just get so mad. I don’t understand how you can claim to love someone and then turn around and betray them like that.”

“Sometimes,” Harlee began, “we do things out of love, thinking and hoping that it’s the right decision because we want to save them from greater pain. And sometimes we have to do things regardless of how we feel because it’s the best for everyone. Depending on your mother’s reasoning, it’s hard to say if what she did was out of love or out of duty. But regardless of her reasoning, it doesn’t negate the fact that she hurt you and that she allowed you to hate someone undeserving of your hate. Forgiveness takes time, Clarke. And it’s up to you to decide when you’re ready to give it. But ask yourself this. Why are you really angry?”

I was about to say something, but Harlee held up a hand to stop me, “Before you say anything, think about what I said. Give yourself time because sometimes the answer isn’t so black and white. We live in a world of gray.”

I huffed in irritation but sat back and stared into the flames of the fire. After thinking about it and getting nowhere, I decided to let it simmer in the back of my mind. Like Harlee had said, forgiveness takes time. And I still had time.

After a while, the others began to wake up, and like with me, Harlee gave them each a cup of tea to help with the pain they were all experiencing. Then she set about cutting into the boar and banking the fire to keep it warm. She’d found lanterns as well and turned those on to give us some light. We all sat around the fire lost in our thoughts when Troy spoke up.

“Harlee, what are you doing here,” Troy asked, sounding resentful.

“I followed after you,” Harlee replied, looking them each in the eye. “And it wasn’t because I didn’t trust that you couldn’t handle yourselves. It was because Raven nor I trusted Finn.”

“How did the jobi nuts even get in our packs,” Harper asked. “We packed them ourselves, and you went over it all, too.”

Harlee nodded, “Finn and Jasper found more jobi nuts and snuck them in after we left for the night. I assumed that no one would mess with the packs.”

“Fucking Jasper,” Monroe bit out. “He would do something like this.”

“And under any other circumstances, we could let this slide,” I spoke up, looking at them. “And even though Jasper wasn’t doing it to hurt us, Finn had ulterior motives. Jasper will be punished for his part in this, and if Finn ever shows up, he’ll face worse. That’s something I can promise you.”

Everyone nodded in agreement, and then Bruno looked at Harlee and asked, “So, what now, Harlee?”

Harlee shrugged, “I’m not the one in charge. That’s Clarke and Dax. Ask them?”

“Yeah, but—” Bruno started to say, but Harlee held up a hand.

“I’m not the one in charge, Bruno,” Harlee reiterated. “My sole reasoning for coming here was to make sure Finn wasn’t planning something. Unfortunately, he was, and I stopped it. Now, I’m simply sharing a camp with you. This isn’t my mission. So, if you want to know what the plan is, look to the ones in charge of the mission.”

“So, you’re not going to tell us what to do,” Dax said, looking at Harlee with narrowed eyes.

“That’s right. Clarke’s in charge overall, and you, Dax, are in charge of the group’s safety,” she replied, holding his gaze.

“In that case,” Dax slowly said and turned to look at me, “Clarke, what’s the plan?”

I sighed, “Well, thanks to the jobi nuts, we still have no clue what’s in the bunker. Thanks to Harlee, we know there are blankets, sleeping bags, and lanterns. But we don’t know how many. So, tomorrow, first thing, we need to go through each crate and barrel. Get an inventory of everything and then figure out how much we can bring back. We’ll probably need to build some sleds or something to carry the crates back. The important thing is to make sure we have enough for everyone. With blankets, we need every one of them we can bring with us.”

“We can split the work,” Dax said. “Half of us work on building the sleds, and the rest start going through the bunker.”

“That’ sounds good,” I said nodding. “We should probably get some rest. Tomorrow’s going to be busy.”

Everyone nodded, and Dax set the watches for the night. As everyone settled down and Miller and Troy took the first watch, Harlee stepped away with the radio. Knowing she was going to speak with Raven, I smiled. It was nice to see something good after everything we’d all been through. I turned to my lay on my back and looked to the stars. Seeing the vast expanse of the night sky, it made me feel small, and I began to wonder if the hurt and pain I was holding onto were worth it. Thinking about what Harlee had said, I wondered if there was another reason I was holding onto everything. Maybe Harlee was right, and the world wasn’t so black and white.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your daily dose for this drag of a Monday. Questions are answered and it's a bit fluffy.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

HARLEE POV

The moment I hit the tree line, I tucked the radio in my waistband before taking a running leap to the nearest branch. Catching it with ease, I quickly ascended the tree until I had a clear line of sight over the area. Taking a moment to appreciate the view, I let my mind go blank and just let myself be. I let all my worries, feelings, and thoughts slip away and simply only existed. I slowly inhaled the fresh night air of the wilderness that surrounded me. Letting it fill my veins and rejuvenate my body with clean oxygen. Invigorate me with a clearness of mind, body, and Spirit. I exhaled the impurities that clogged my Spirit and gave thanks to the Gods for granting me another day.

Sighing contentedly, I reached for the radio and switched it on, “Raven, do you copy? Raven?”

“I’m here,” Raven replied over the radio, and I smiled, hearing her voice. “How is everyone?”

“They woke up with a pounding headache but will be recovered by morning,” I told her. “It will probably be late afternoon before we return. None of them recall what they went through, so it all has to be done again.”

“That sucks,” Raven said, and I could hear the pout in her voice. “Any sign of my douche of an ex?”

“No, but I doubt that we will be seeing him again anytime soon,” I said. “I have a feeling that he may meet the wrong end of a Grounder.”

Raven sighed, “They’d be doing us a favor. How is Clarke handling it all?”

“She mentioned that if Finn ever shows up again, he will receive some form of punishment,” I replied. “She appeared more concerned with the vision she had. Clarke asked me if she should forgive her mother.”

“Oh, and what did you tell her?”

“That forgiveness takes time. In truth, it wasn’t my place to say,” I said.

“How very laissez-faire of you,” Raven drolly stated.

I chuckled, “I suppose it is, but forgiveness isn’t something to be dictated by others. It needs to be determined by the person. So, only Clarke will know when or if she can forgive her mother. The only time we need to be concerned is if it affects dealing with the Council.”

“You mean if Clarke is being obtuse and difficult simply because whatever’s being said is coming from Abby,” Raven knowingly replied.

“Yes. Like with the wristbands. People were taking them off simply because the Council told us not to,” I said. “But of course, when Clarke explained the reason behind them, they stopped taking them off. So…”

“We may have to smack her upside the head if we catch her disagreeing just for the sake of it,” Raven said. “I get it. Can I be the one to do it?”

I laughed, “Sure, but only if the need calls for it, my Valkyrie.”

“Spoilsport,” Raven huffed. “How are you feeling? I mean, after this morning and your injury.”

I sighed, “I think I am okay. I probably won’t sleep tonight anyway, but I don’t feel any lingering effects. And my stomach hasn’t bothered me except for some slight pulling, but it’s okay. _I’m_ okay.”

“That’s good. So, tomorrow afternoon, huh,” Raven sighed.

“Yes, though, I’d much rather be falling asleep with you in my arms, my Valkyrie,” I admitted. “I have missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Raven replied, and I heard the smile in her voice. “Thank you for indulging me, Harlee.”

I scoffed, “There is no need for thanks, and I was not indulging you. I felt the same way. It is just unfortunate that we were right.”

“How did the group take to finding you there when they woke up?”

“Confused, suspicious, but I think a touch grateful,” I replied. “I think they’re madder at themselves and Finn than upset at me for following them.”

“Why would they mad at themselves?”

“I picked them for a reason, Raven,” I explained. “Out of the twenty-five that have been training with me, they are the best. It’s a matter of pride because it caught them, us, unawares. It would be like you putting something together and leaving it for the night. Then going back the next day, flipping a switch, and it blows up. You look and see someone tampered with it, but you get mad at yourself because you didn’t bother looking it over before flipping the switch. Because you assumed that no one would mess with it.”

“Ah,” Raven replied. “Right. So, now, they’re going to be extra vigilant and triple checking everything before they head out again. To make sure that it’s exactly the way it was when they left it.”

“Yes. I mean, it should be done anyway to make sure nothing is left out, and everything’s in working order, but over the past few weeks, we’ve grown to trust each other. It’s a blow and a reminder that not everyone is trustworthy. I’m hoping that this doesn’t set them back in any way.”

“So, does this mean that you’re hiding from them, so they don’t know you’re on watch,” Raven teased.

“Eh, kinda,” I sheepishly replied. “I just didn’t want them to interrupt. I’ll probably head back to camp and at least rest for the night. Which is something you should be getting, too.”

Raven chuckled, “What’s that saying, I’ll rest when I’m dead?”

I laughed, “Really? You sure it’s not, no rest for the wicked.”

“Both,” she replied and then sighed. “But, I guess I should try and get some sleep. The wires on this radio are starting to blend and make new colors.”

I smiled, “I don’t think wires are meant to do that.”

“No. No, they’re not,” Raven replied, and there was a pregnant pause before, “Will you radio me in the morning?”

My smile widened, “I was already planning on it, my Valkyrie. And I promise that I’ll wait until the sun has fully risen before doing so. I know mornings are not your favorite.”

“No, they’re not,” Raven grumbled, but I could hear the smile in her voice. “I should probably let you go. I don’t want to run the battery down before you’re back at camp.”

I nodded, “That’s probably a good idea. Rest well, my Valkyrie.”

“You too, Casanova. Good night.”

“Good night,” I said and, with a sigh, turned the radio off.

I let my hands drop to my lap and stared out over the wilderness, smiling to myself as I thought about Raven. The weak attempts to hide her feelings about me. It was strange, but I loved how my chest warmed, hearing her voice. Whatever I was feeling for her, it was building up fast. I just hope that when the truth finally came out, I wouldn’t lose any of it especially, Raven. I’m not sure my heart and fragile Spirit could take it.

A soft sigh of a branch to my right alerted me that I was no longer alone. It appeared that my bit of peace was over.

“Report,” I ordered, resolutely staring out into the night.

“The mokskwoma (worm) should be waking up in a cell in Tondc by now,” Thor reported. “We found six additional barrels of fayagons to the two they found. Ten crates of ammunition. We removed the six and left them one crate of ammunition.”

I nodded, “Good. I hope the scouts weren’t too gentle with Finn. And if Heda decides to forgo negotiations with Skaikru, we’ll drop Finn off in the Dead Zone. We don’t need to waste the resources in keeping him alive.”

“Boss, is it wise to leave Skaikru fayagons,” Thor asked.

I sighed, “If any of them recall the weapons in the morning, it will look suspicious to have them all disappear. Even though I’m beginning to train them in hand to hand and limited weapons, the fayagons will give them a sense of relief. It’ll help boost their confidence that they can stand up against their Council, which is what we want. Luckily, I can manipulate where we’ll store the fayagons and make it easy to remove them when the time comes.”

“You’ve already got a plan, don’t you, boss,” Thor said, laughter evident in his voice.

I smirked, “Of course, I do. Several, in fact. I just need to wait on Heda’s orders before implementing one of them.”

“Sooo, this Raven. Is it serious,” Thor asked, relaxing now that he was done reporting.

I shrugged, “I think I’d like it to be. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Thor. Raven is incredible and smart and so gods-be-damned beautiful. I find myself wanting _everything_ with her. But with everything going on, I don’t want to get my hopes up. And I don’t want to get her hopes up either.”

“If this girl is it, Lee,” Thor said after a moment. “The Norns will find a way. It may not be an easy path, but the things in life that are worth it never are.”

I sighed and nodded, “Truer words have never been spoken. I need to get back before they begin to worry.”

“You can rest easy, boss,” Thor said. “We’ll watch over you.”

I smiled up at him as I started climbing down, “I know, Thor. Safe watch.”

“Night, boss,” Thor replied, and I returned the sentiment.

Making my way back to the camp, I made sure that I made enough noise to alert those on watch. Troy and Miller acknowledged my return with simple nods before turning their attention back to our surroundings. I stretched once I neared my bedroll and began toeing off my boots. A rustle of cloth drew my attention, and I looked to see Clarke peering at me with drowsy eyes.

“You should be asleep, Clarke,” I quietly spoke so I wouldn’t wake the others.

“Can’t sleep,” Clarke mumbled. “Did you have a good talk with Raven?”

I smiled; I couldn’t have stopped it if I tried when I thought about Raven, “Yes.”

Clarke smiled in return, “I haven’t said this, but I’m glad you two found each other. You both deserve happiness.”

“So do you,” I replied, crawling into the bedroll, and settling myself. “Don’t let what happened with Finn stop you from finding your own happiness, Clarke. We were all duped by him.”

Clarke sighed and tucked her arm underneath her head as she regarded me, “I didn’t sleep with him. I almost did that night, but something held me back. Now, I’m glad I didn’t.”

I shifted until I was looking at her, “Then stop feeling guilty, Clarke. Whatever happened, happened. We can’t change the past, only learn from it. But at the same time, you shouldn’t let it stop you from finding some piece of happiness.”

“Logically, I know this, but…”

“But nothing, Clarke. To be an effective leader, you have to take care of yourself too. Even if it’s just five minutes a day,” I argued, staring sternly at her to get my point across. “Your people’s happiness is dependent upon your own. If you don’t allow yourself a chance to step back and take a breath, you will burn yourself out. And you don’t need to sacrifice your own happiness to make sure your people are taken care of. You need to remember that.”

“I’ll try,” Clarke relented.

“That’s all we can do,” I said with a smile. “Try and get some sleep, Clarke. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.”

“Don’t remind me,” the blonde huffed but settled more comfortably. “Good night, Harlee.”

“Good night, Clarke,” I replied and focused on the embers still glowing in the fire.

I let the act soothe me and felt my body grow heavy with the need to sleep. As my eyes grew heavy, I sent a prayer that my demons would remain silent this night.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, Chapter 33. And I want to call it the beginning of the end of the first story arc, not the story itself. Things are coming to a head and things are coming to an end. But, I hope you enjoy it and I'm already working on the next chapter. Stay tuned.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

As expected, we didn’t get back to the dropship until the sun was slowly descending beneath the trees. We were greeted with calls of excitement and eager bodies to relieve us of our burdens. We’d found enough blankets that everyone would have two and enough bedrolls to provide cushioning. We had brought back chemlights, lanterns, canteens, and fifty assault rifles and the crate of ammunition. Dax, Miller, and I quickly secured the guns in the dropship, and Raven took control of the ammunition to store in her tent. I spoke with Dax and Murphy to set up a guard rotation to make sure the rifles were never unattended. 

I came out of the dropship in time to listen to Clarke explain Finn’s disappearance. To say the camp was upset over the incident would have been an understatement. They wanted blood. Not just for endangering those who had gone on the trip, but because it was an attempt to kidnap Clarke. Their leader. I held back a smile seeing their reaction, but it was heartening seeing their loyalty towards the blonde. After the speech, the blankets, bedrolls, and lanterns were handed out. The rest were stored in the dropship.

Like every night since I woke up from my injury, our small group gathered in my hut for dinner. I sat back and listened as everyone went over their day. I didn’t perk up until Clarke started talking about Bellamy.

“What about Bellamy,” I asked, rejoining the conversation.

Clarke sighed, giving me a trepidatious look, “I was just saying that he’s well on his way to being recovered. Bellamy’s head and shoulder seem to be healing well, but as I thought, his shoulder is going to need major work to get full range of motion back.”

“Then he’s well enough to be banished,” I succinctly replied.

“Harlee,” Clarke began, but I shook my head.

“No, Clarke,” I interrupted. “If Bellamy realizes that the only reason he’s still in camp is because of his injuries, he’s smart enough to stay injured. And the longer he’s here, the greater chance he has of either raising people to free him or wearing you down to free him. You’re already hesitating.”

“Harlee’s right,” Octavia spoke up, looking seriously at Clarke. “As much as I love my brother, what he’s done has to have consequences. You said he’d be banished, and you need to follow through.”

“Alright,” Clarke said, sighing as she looked at everyone. “Tomorrow. After I do one last check-up on him, we’ll banish him.”

“Thank you,” I told her. “Clarke, you may not like this, but it’s necessary to keep order. It’s not like you’re executing him, which already makes you better than the Council and the laws we left behind.”

Clarke sighed again but looked more resolute, “You’re right. Speaking of the Council, any word on when Exodus will be ready to launch, Wells?”

“We have some good news on that,” Wells said, looking at everyone. “Well, maybe. The Council finally has a date when the ship will be ready. They anticipate a couple of days after Unity Day, which is in two months.”

“Who are they sending down,” Raven asked, leaning into me, so I wrapped my arm around her waist.

Wells grimaced, “That’s where it gets a little tricky. They want to send a contingent of guards down along with people from Medical, Farm, and Engineering. The Council is still figuring out who they want to send, but it’ll be from those four groups.”

“What are they hoping to accomplish by bringing those groups down,” I asked, frowning in thought. “Medical makes sense, and maybe Engineering. That is if they know how to build adequate shelter and run irrigation or water lines. Farming can’t do much, except to ready land for planting in the Spring. I’m not happy about the guards.”

Wells sighed, “I’m not happy with the guards either. I mean, it would be good to have people who are better equipped to protect.”

“But,” Raven interjected, staring pointedly at the boy, “we know that’s not why they’re sending them down. They’re being sent down to make sure that we comply and do all the heavy lifting. The guards have no idea how to do much besides patrol a hallway and beat people into submission. If something attacked us, they wouldn’t know what to do.”

“Neither do we,” Wells pointed out. “We have no idea about tactics or strategy.”

“That’s not true,” Octavia spoke up and looked to me. “Harlee’s been teaching us.”

“I wouldn’t say that I’ve been teaching you _that_ ,” I interjected. “Only how to use the environment against an attacker or bring down large prey. Fighting against anything more than a few bandits or an angry boar isn’t something I know. And Octavia, I’m still learning too.”

Octavia blushed, but nodded in understanding, “Still. What you’ve taught us can be used against the guard if they come knocking.”

“Wait a minute,” Clarke interrupted. “We aren’t fighting with the Ark guards. There’s no reason to fight them.”

“So, you expect us to go with them like complacent little sheep,” Octavia glared at Clarke. “Follow their rules and bend to their opinions. Go back to people that will never see us as anything but worthless criminals.”

Clarke looked at Wells, stunned, before addressing the three of us, “Wait. Are you saying you don’t want to go back when they come down?”

“I can’t speak for either Raven or Octavia, but Clarke, you already know my stance. Going back isn’t an option for me,” I told the blonde. “And I told you that you needed to bring this option to the camp as a whole. Let them decided if they want to stay or go.”

“There’s nothing for me there, Clarke,” Octavia spoke up. “They’ll only ever see me as an illegal second child. The people on the Ark aren’t my people. These people here, in this camp, are my people.”

“I know I just got here,” Raven carefully spoke, “but I can already tell you that this is way better than life on the Ark. Even as primitive as it is. Everyone here is treated equally. If we go back, this goes away. We’ll be forced to conform to ideals and laws that won’t work here on the ground. If it comes down to a choice, I’d prefer sticking it out here in the woods and making our lives easier than those who condemn children simply for surviving. But Harlee’s right, this isn’t a decision for us to make. Not even for you and Wells to make, Clarke. This needs to be decided by the camp. By the Hundred.”

“Clarke, they’re right,” Wells said, drawing the blonde’s attention and leaving her shocked slightly. “We can’t unilaterally decide to go back or stay. This affects everyone, and everyone deserves to have a say. I think now that we know when they’re planning on coming down and we have the rifles, it’s time to take a vote. And you know that this has always been in the back of our minds. If we want the people on the Ark to change, we have to be willing to take the first step. And refusing to go back will hopefully be the wake-up call they need that things need to change.”

Clarke ran a hand through her loose blonde hair and heavily sighed, looking conflicted. I decided to speak up one last time.

“Clarke, remember our earlier talks,” I said, and she warily nodded. “You’ve done your part. You’ve proven that the ground is survivable. You did that by keeping ninety-seven of us alive, and I say that because I refuse to believe that Charlotte is dead. But anyway, ninety-seven of us are alive because you refused to give up. You fought and earned their respect. This is just one more battle. One more fight. You need to do what is right for _your_ people. And the Hundred are who your people are.”

“Clarke, we’ll support you no matter what you decide,” Wells said, taking on her hands in his. “But there’s no harm in bringing it to a vote. And the sooner we do it, the sooner we can begin planning. For either eventuality.”

Clarke looked at him for a long time before glancing at the rest of us. She let out a gusty sigh and nodded, “Then I guess we bring it to a vote. Do we break off from the Ark, or do we go back.”

I smiled, and Wells pulled Clarke into a hug. Octavia let out a small whoop of joy, but Raven. Raven looked like she was thinking of something when I glanced at her.

I leaned over and whispered, “Raven, my Valkyrie, what’s on your mind? Will you tell me?”

She looked at me and subtly shook her head, whispering back, “Not now. When everyone’s left.”

“Okay,” I said, concerned by her reply. “Would it be okay if I hugged you to me?”

“I’d like that,” she replied, scooting closer. “I think I need that right now.”

I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her snug against me, leaning over and kissing her crown, “I can kick them out if you need to be alone.”

“I just need you to hold me,” Raven replied, tilting her head up to look at me, and I read the worry in her eyes. Worry and fear.

“Whatever you need, my Valkyrie,” I said, kissing her gently.

Raven sighed into the kiss and then laid her head against my shoulder, snuggling into me. I looked up to see Clarke looking at me in concern. I subtly gestured with my head, and she got the hint that we wanted to be alone. Clarke and Wells cleaned up for me and then all but dragged Octavia out of the hut. I smiled in thanks as they left for the night.

“Raven,” I quietly called to her.

“Hmm?”

“Is it okay if we move a bit?”

“Sure,” she said and sat up a bit.

I moved until we were sitting in each other’s laps and reaching up, I gently cupped her face after moving a strand of hair that had come loose behind her ear. Raven closed her eyes and leaned into my touch, making me smile. I couldn’t help myself; I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. She let out a soft sigh, and I deepened the kiss, only parting to change the angle. When our bodies demanded air, we rested our foreheads together as I stroked Raven’s face softly.

“Raven, can you tell me what’s on your mind,” I gently asked.

She sighed, leaned back, but kept her arms around my neck, her fingers threading themselves in my hair. Regarding me for a long moment, she answered with a question of her own, “Are you serious about us? Like, do you want to take this as far as we can?”

“I do,” I softly replied. “Even if it’s for one more hour or a lifetime. I want no one else but you.”

“What if I go back to the Ark,” she questioned.

“Raven, if that is what you want and if that will make you happy, I won’t stand in your way,” I replied, keeping my gaze steady on her own. “The last thing I want is for you to compromise yourself or your happiness because of me. Even if you no longer wish to be with me or if you find someone else. Your happiness is what matters. Because _you_ matter, Raven.”

“What if I want to go back to the Ark and have you in my life is what would make me happy?”

I softly smiled, “Then we will figure something out. I’m not willing to just throw us away because of difficulties, Raven. You are worth it.”

“You barely know me,” Raven huffed.

“And you barely know me,” I countered. “But if we take it one day at a time and remember to talk about what’s bothering us, we’ll get through it. As long as we’re both willing.”

“You sound like a book on relationship advice,” Raven deadpanned.

I grinned, “Maybe, but it doesn’t make it any less true. All I know is that I’m willing to try. With you and for you.”

Raven let out a long-suffering sigh, “I guess if you’re willing, then I should too.”

I laughed, “Wow, that sounded like it hurt. Maybe I was wrong. I wonder if Bree or—”

“Shut up, you ass,” Raven said, pulling me into a heated kiss. 

Not wanting to get carried away, I gentled the kiss, cupping her face in my hands. When we parted, I smiled at her in wonder, stroking her cheeks with my thumbs.

Raven smirked back, “What?”

I smiled wider and answered in wonder, “You are so beautiful, Raven. Extraordinarily breathtaking. And I am not just talking about what’s on the surface, my Valkyrie.” -I moved a hand and placed it over her heart, tapping it with a finger- “But this” -I tapped her temple with my other hand- “and this is what makes my breath catch and my heart stutter. And I feel humbled and honored that you’ve chosen to share it with me.”

Raven sniffled as a tear fell. I quickly swiped it away.

“You need to stop saying shit like that,” she croaked, making me chuckle.

I leaned in to kiss her sweetly, “Never, my Valkyrie.”

I leaned back to regard her, and after a moment, “Do you feel better?”

Raven sighed but nodded, “I do. We’ll just take it one day at a time, huh?”

I nodded, “Raven, down here, moments are fleeting. Life is unpredictable, and we never know if we’ll make it to the end of the day or see the next dawn. But no matter what happens, every moment I have with you, I will treat it as the gift that it is because you are worth it, Raven. So worth it.”

“If you keep this up, you’re going to make me cry, Harlee,” Raven wetly chuckled.

“Then I will kiss each tear away until there are no more,” I told her softly. “It’s getting late, my Valkyrie. Did you want to stay here again?”

Raven nodded, sniffling, “I’d like that.”

I smiled and leaned back in to kiss her one more time before I got up to bank the fire and move the basket outside the camp for my scouts to pick it up. When I came back, Raven was already underneath the blanket with her little pile of objects off to the side. I smiled, seeing it as I toed off my boots and removed my shirt. She held open the blanket for me, and I crawled underneath. We lay facing each other, gazing into one another. I once more leaned forward to kiss her, and she sighed into the kiss. Parting, she tucked herself into me, head in the crook of my neck, and I wrapped an arm around her to pull her close. We both sighed in contentment, and sleep soon took us.

I woke up sometime later, not sure what had woken me. I listened to the sounds around us but heard nothing except our breathing. I let out a soft sigh knowing that I wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep any time soon. With great reluctance, I eased out from under Raven, making sure I didn’t wake her. I found my shirt and put it on before grabbing my boots and slipping outside. I took a moment to take in the night air and found nothing amiss; I sat to put on my boots.

There was something I needed to do, and now was the perfect time. I headed to the dropship, nothing more than a fleeting shadow drifting across the camp. Reaching the ramp of the dropship, I took a moment and saw no one moving about. Everyone was asleep. Walking in, I found a young man, awake and alert, sitting on a crate of guns. We nodded to each other before I headed up the ladder. I knocked on the hatch to alert the guard on the third level, and it opened up with a screech. Wincing slightly, I climbed up and had a brief conversation with the guy watching over Bellamy. He was reluctant to leave me alone with Bellamy, but I persuaded him to give me a few minutes alone. I slid a pipe across the hatch once it was closed again.

I turned and, for a long moment, stood regarding the man that had nearly killed me. I felt the bite of anger hit me in my gut, seeing him appear peacefully embraced by slumber. I clenched my fists in anger that after committing such an act of cowardice as to attack me from behind, he should look so unencumbered by guilt. Even I, who walked hand in hand with Death daily, did not sleep without guilt. I let out a snarl and was pleased to see his slumbering form flinch at the sound. I found a waterskin that still held some water in it and proceeded to dump it over his head.

He came to with a splutter and immediately tried to get up, but the restraints held him fast. I chuckled maliciously and turned to walk a few feet away where a crate sat as he furiously wiped the water from his face.

“What do you want,” Bellamy growled out like a petulant child.

“Really,” I said, smirking as I sat to face him and leaning forward on my elbows. “The woman you tried to kill visits you in the middle of the night, and you dare sound like a petulant child? Only a fool would be stupid enough not to be afraid. Especially since it is just you and I, and your guard didn’t even bother to check me for weapons. But then again, you have proven time and again that you are nothing if not foolish. And a coward.”

That gave him pause as he looked around the empty space to see that my words rang true. We were well and truly alone, though, of course, there were guards two levels down. Not that they could stop me if I decided to take justice in my hands.

“If anything happens to me, they’d know it was you,” Bellamy tried to assert his bravado.

I tilted my head at him in curiosity, “Maybe so, but you see, Bellamy, in the time you’ve been wallowing away up here, I have so very subtly taken control. Not even Clarke realizes that she follows my lead. If something were to happen to you, no one would admonish me for it. Not even your sister, Octavia. But then again, they know that I am a woman of my word, and I have given my word that no harm shall come from my hand while I am in this camp. So, you will live to see the dawn.”

“Then why are you here if it’s not to kill me,” Bellamy huffed, pushing himself up against the wall.

“I am wondering that myself,” I replied. “I suppose I wanted to see if there was a modicum of regret or guilt for your actions, but I can see that it was only wishful thinking.”

“I did what I had to do,” he surly replied, glaring at me.

“For whom,” I asked. “For whose benefit were you willing to commit such a cowardly act as killing a person from behind. A person who was only trying to help you. Whose benefit was it to _kick_ a girl when she was already down? It certainly wasn’t for the people asleep in this camp. And it sure as hell wasn’t for Octavia. There was no reason or justification that you could give that would make what you did okay. Not on the Ark. Not here in this camp. Nor among the Grounders.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Bellamy replied, running a hand through his wet hair.

“Why,” I pushed.

“I made a promise.”

“A promise you broke,” I pointed out. “You weren’t looking out for Octavia. You were trying to control her. You only ever looked out for yourself, Bellamy. You didn’t even look out for the people who looked up to you to lead them. You are nothing but a selfish, foolish coward, and even now, on the eve of your last night of safety, you _still_ can’t take responsibility.”

“What are you talking about,” Bellamy demanded.

I smirked and sat up straight, “Oh, no one’s told you? Lovely. Tomorrow, you start your banishment, Bellamy. No longer will you have to worry about the Council killing you. Now, you just have to worry about the rest of the world coming after you. Oh, and let me tell you, they are eager to lay their hands on you, Bellamy Blake.”

“Clarke would never do that,” Bellamy cried out. “My shoulder’s still healing!”

I stood up and strode up to him quickly, evilly smirking to see him cower into the wall, “You are healed enough. Your head and shoulder will not kill you from infection. That was our only concern. And _Clarke_ is fine with it. She is the one that decided to banish you in the morning. Octavia and I only reminded her that you were too dangerous to keep any longer.”

“Octavia wouldn’t,” he protested.

“But she did,” I said, crouching in front of him. “Whoever you’ve become isn’t the brother who raised her. Did you know that she came to me, crying when she learned that you’d tried to kill me? She thought it was because you were still upset over what happened the day before. When she realized it was because you were afraid to face the consequences of your actions on the Ark, well…she became angry on my behalf. And on behalf of the innocents of the Ark. And those here in camp. Octavia loves you, but not who’ve you become. Luckily, she has people that care for her and support her. The way she wanted you to. So, really, Octavia will be so much better without you dragging her down. You’ve lost, Bellamy. You’re nothing. And everything you spoke about will happen. But it won’t be because you helped lead this camp to that better future. No. It’ll happen because people stepped up to make it a reality. Without you.”

I stood up and walked the hatch, pulling the pipe out. I stopped and leaned against it, regarding him one last time, “You had your chance, Bellamy Blake. You blew it because of fear and selfishness. Now, you’ll have to live with the fact that everything you wanted will eventually happen, but you won’t be around for it. You won’t get to reap the benefits. You won’t get to see Octavia fall in love and have a family of her own. Or see her grow into the woman your mother dreamed of. You won’t get to be the proud uncle holding his sister’s child in his arms for the first time. Hell, you won’t even get to have that for yourself. All because you are a foolish coward. Goodbye, Bellamy Blake. And may the scales of justice balance with your banishment.”

Having said my piece, I climbed down the ladder to find the two guards chatting by the rifles. I let them know he was still alive before heading back to my hut and Raven. I slipped soundlessly back inside, shucking off my shirt and removing my boots. I took a moment to look down at the sleeping form and thanking the Gods for granting me this gift. Shaking myself out of my reverie, I slid underneath the blankets and pulled Raven against me, holding her tight.

“Where’d you go,” Raven mumbled, more asleep than awake.

“I just needed to clear my head, my Valkyrie,” I whispered, kissing her head. “I’m fine now. Just let me hold you, please.”

“’Kay,” she breathed and snuggled closer to me. “Sleep now.”

I hummed my agreement and closed my eyes. Sleep finding me quickly now that I held my Valkyrie in my arms. Morning would find us soon enough.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, but this chapter came out pretty quick even for me. So, surprise! Chapter 35.
> 
> Enjoy

The morning was a slightly somber affair; everyone’s thoughts were on Bellamy, finally facing his punishment for the attempt on mine and Raven’s lives. We silently followed behind Clarke to the dropship. I held Raven’s hand and had my other arm wrapped around Octavia’s shoulders, providing the comfort and reassurance they needed. We waited at the bottom of the ramp as Clarke and Wells walked inside. They came out twenty minutes later with Bellamy held up between Dax and Murphy. Wells called for everyone’s attention, and the camp slowly gathered at the foot of the ramp and waited.

“A week ago,” Clarke began as she looked out over the crowd, “Raven launched a pod from the Ark because the Council had decided to cull over three-hundred innocents to preserve air. When it landed, Harlee being who she is, left to investigate on her own. The rest of the camp was ordered to remain until morning by Bellamy. Unknown to everyone here except Octavia, he then snuck out and made his way to the pod. Though Harlee’s intentions were merely a curiosity, Bellamy’s were not.”

Clarke paused to let this sink into the crowd, making sure she looked everyone in the eyes before continuing, “What we did not know was that Bellamy was convinced by Shumway to shoot Chancellor Jaha. Bellamy’s reward was a seat on the dropship. Unlike the rest of us, he was too much of a coward to face the consequences of his actions. That is why he spoke passionately about removing ourselves from the Ark and convincing many of you to remove your wristbands. That is why Bellamy opposed every attempt to contact the Ark. And that was his sole motivation in going to the pod alone that night.”

Looking at Raven and me, Clarke gave a slight nod before addressing the crowd, “Harlee beat him to the pod and helped Raven. Both medically and relaying information to the Council. Their intervention prevented the murder of those three-hundred innocents the Council would have callously culled just to save themselves. When Bellamy arrived, Harlee had Raven hide within the pod for protection. She then attempted to convince Bellamy to come to myself and Wells so that we could get the Council to pardon him. Or simply leave once the Ark came down. Bellamy led Harlee to believe that he would do one or the other, but when her back was turned, he attacked her. At the last moment, she heard him, but he still stabbed her. Then he went after Raven, kicking her and bruising several ribs. Bellamy’s injuries are the results of both Harlee and Raven defending themselves. Harlee nearly died from that attack.”

Those that I’ve been working with set up a cry for blood, but Clarke quickly silenced it and stood taller as she spoke firmly, “We are not the Council! Therefore, not every crime is punishable by death! That is why Jasper is off nuts and berries and has to help Raven with whatever she needs for the next two weeks. That’s _his_ punishment for his part in drugging myself and the team that went to the depot! And that’s why Finn if he ever shows himself here, will face punishment for drugging us and attempting to kidnap me! After careful consideration, Bellamy will be banished from this camp for the attempted murder of Harlee, Raven, and the innocents of the Ark. If Bellamy returns, he will face stricter punishment and possibly death.”

A roar of approval went out, and it was loud enough that Bellamy looked shocked and flinched underneath Dax and Murphy’s hold. Clarke let it continue for a moment before she held up a hand for silence. She quickly got it.

“Before we take Bellamy to the gate and set him free,” Clarke said, eliciting a few giggles. “I think he should be here and see what he could have been a part of. Yesterday, Wells finally got an answer from the Council when the first dropship from the Ark will arrive. It will come two days after Unity Day, which is in two months. I know that many of you have spoken out against the laws and the Council, which is fair. Those harsh laws and their harsh stance are what landed all of us here. It’s why we’ve strived to be better.”

A few cries went out before Clarke continued, “We have developed a society here that while young, works for us. We’re still figuring out our own set of laws and punishments, but the one thing we do here that has never happened on the Ark is treating one another equally. We all work hard, whether it’s going out every day and finding food or sorting the good berries and nuts from the bad. That is why, after careful consideration, we have decided to allow you to have a say in deciding if we stay here or rejoin the Ark when it comes down. This is a huge decision that affects all of us, so I want you to take a minute and consider what both decisions mean.”

“Clarke,” I called out, and she looked at me. “Maybe you should explain what each choice means to us here.”

Clarke nodded and looked out over the crowd and explained the pros and cons of staying or rejoining. Questions were called out, and she and Wells answered to the best of their abilities. When it appeared that the questions had quieted down, Clarke called a vote.

But, someone had one more question and called it out, “Clarke, if we don’t like the way the camp votes, do we have to obey the decision?”

“If you’re asking if, for the sake of argument, we decide to rejoin the Ark, that means you have to as well, the answer is no,” Clarke answered. “If we decide to stay and you want to go back, you may do so. No one will be forcing you to abide by either decision. You still have the choice to stay or go. So, if there are no more questions, shall we take it to a vote?”

There were sounds of assent, and the vote was cast. As I had begun to suspect, the majority voted to stay. This would work in my favor if Heda decided to negotiate an alliance with these Skaikru. 

“For those of you who voted to rejoin,” Clarke spoke up once the cheers had died down. “As I just said, if you wish to go back, you can. I know many of you still have family on the Ark. Friends as well. If that’s the only reason you are going back when you really want to stay, I offer you this. When the Ark comes down, we will offer a place for any that wish to join us. Be it your family, friends, or others who are tired of the oppressive laws and judgmental attitudes of the Council. We will welcome them, and the only caveat will be to follow our laws and leadership.”

The crowd murmured their agreement, and then it was time to send Bellamy away. The group followed us as we escorted Bellamy to the gate. I felt Octavia begin to tremble, and with a squeeze of Raven’s hand and a nod, Raven walked to Octavia’s other side and wrapped an arm around her waist. Octavia’s trembling eased, knowing that both of us supported her since we were Bellamy’s victims. We were showing the crowd that we didn’t hold Octavia responsible for Bellamy’s decisions.

I knew that my Riders were waiting in the trees for Bellamy to leave the safety of the camp. Waiting to strike and capture him for our own brand of justice. Justice that wouldn’t be carried out until I could rejoin them. Until then, Bellamy would wallow in the holding cells of Tondc, along with Finn and Mary. Charlotte had been moved to the Riders’ camp and was being introduced to our way of life by Artemis, and surprisingly, Anya’s seken, Tris.

Clarke stepped up to Bellamy as Murphy held up a knife for her to cut his bonds. Clarke took the blade with a nod of thanks and turned to Bellamy, “Is there anything you want to say, Bellamy, before you are banished from the Hundred?”

Bellamy looked over Clarke’s shoulder to look over the crowd before his eyes settled on Octavia.

“I did what I thought I had to do,” Bellamy said, just loud enough to carry over to where we stood with Octavia.

Octavia stepped out of our arms and took a few steps towards Bellamy, “You’re not even sorry, are you? Everything you did, every choice you made wasn’t for me or everyone here. It was for yourself because you’re too much of a coward to face the consequences of your actions. Your choices nearly killed over three hundred people. All innocent of nothing more than trying to survive. Nothing you say will ever make this okay. You’re not the brother who raised me. I don’t know who you are.”

Octavia immediately turned around and walked back to our waiting arms, where she curled into my chest and started crying. Raven came up behind and embraced her, refusing to look at Bellamy, though I could easily see the anger in her eyes.

Bellamy said nothing else so, Clarke cut him loose and stepped back, “Bellamy Blake, you are banished from the Hundred. You are not to step anywhere near this camp. If you do, you will be captured, and a worse punishment will be set. Including the possibility of execution. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, I got it,” Bellamy sneered at her. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Very well,” Clarke said and nodded to Dax. “One knife and a day’s worth of rations. With our meager supplies, that’s all we can provide. But Dax and Murphy tell me that’s all you need. There’s plenty to be found out there if you know where to look. Good luck, Bellamy.”

Murphy held out the knife and a small bag, which Bellamy took with a sneer. He said something too low for me to hear, but it made both boys shove him away from camp. The crowd dispersed while Dax and Murphy stayed by the gate to make sure Bellamy left. I knew he would only make it out of eyesight of the camp before my Riders would descend on him. I internally smirked, knowing that my Riders would probably make a game of it, chasing him until he grew too tired to fight. It was only the start of his punishment for the attempt on my life. His time in Tondc holding cells wasn’t going to be pleasant, and I couldn’t be happier.

When Bellamy was out of sight, we walked Octavia back inside.

“Octavia,” I softly called her name. “If you need time, I have no problem if you skip training today. Murphy and I can handle it.”

Octavia sniffled, stepping back to wipe her tears from her face, and shook her head, “No. No, I need something to do. I need to train.”

“Are you sure,” Raven quietly asked. “No one will judge you if you need a breather.”

“No, I…thank you, but Bell’s taken enough of my time. I’m not going to waste any more on him. Not when we have so much to do and prepare for,” Octavia argued. “I’ll be fine, and if it gets too much, well, I’ll just hold out until I get to Lincoln’s.”

“Okay,” I nodded down to her. “But if for whatever reason it gets to be too much, you can leave.”

“Thanks, Harlee,” Octavia said, smiling sadly at me. “I really appreciate it and everything you’ve done for me.”

I smiled, “You don’t have to thank me, Octavia. And I think we’re close enough for you to call me, ‘Lee.’ I only let those closest to me call me that, which is why only Raven can. And now you.”

Octavia beamed at me and hugged me tight, “Thanks…Lee. And you know, if we’re going about nicknames, you don’t have to keep calling me by my full name. You can call me, ‘O,’ like everyone else.”

I grinned, “I know, but I’m not like everyone else, little warrior. I choose the nicknames I give people. But we’ve chatted long enough. There’s work to be done. Go gather the troops and start them on the warm-ups, little warrior.”

Octavia straightened to her full height and saluted me with a smirk before dashing off to the area we’d turned into a training ground.

“You just made her day, Casanova,” Raven said, hugging me.

I grinned and leaned down to kiss her, “I know. That’s why I did it. Octavia needs to know that she has people who care and love her. And you and I standing by her the entire time showed the camp that we don’t judge her because of who her brother is. That we support her, it should keep the camp from bullying her.”

“You are unbelievable. You know that right,” she smirked up at me.

I shrugged, “Octavia and I are a lot alike. We both grew up isolated and judged for being different. We both crave the support and care we didn’t get growing up. I’m just more subtle about it.”

“Subtle is an understatement,” Raven teased. “It’s like pulling teeth to get you to open up.”

I frowned a little, “I am working on that.”

“I know, and I’m not complaining. I guess that I’m just used to everybody shoving their business in everyone’s face. Or that everyone knows everyone’s business. It’s refreshing to know that you keep things close as long as you remember your promise last night. That we talk about what is bothering us.”

“A promise I intend to keep,” I said and then sighed. “I need to get going.”

Raven sighed, “So, do I. I need to go and make sure Jasper isn’t about to explode my tent, checking the ammo.”

I frowned, “You’re going to be careful with that, right?”

Raven smiled, “Yes, Harlee. We’re going to be careful. I have no idea how much of that gunpowder has degraded. You said that the environment was damp?”

I nodded, “Yeah. Some things could have been useful, but water had gotten into the bunker. Things were molded and mush and just downright nasty. We were lucky enough to find as much as we did.”

Raven sighed, “That’s what I thought you said. I might have to figure out a way to make more gunpowder then.”

I looked at her in surprise, “You know how to make gunpowder?”

Raven chuckled, “Surprisingly, yes. I do know how. It’s just a matter of finding the ingredients. I might have Jasper and Monty look for them since they know the woods better than I do.”

I grimaced as other thoughts raced through my mind, “Well, I’d check what we have first before you send out people to look for it. Luckily, the Grounders didn’t see us bringing in the rifles, and we still need to figure out if anyone knows how to use them. So, you have time before we start training with them.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she replied and stepped out of the hug. “Come on, Casanova, there’s work to be done.”

“Yes, m’dear,” I teased, smiling down at her. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

“Of course,” she replied and with a quick peck on the lips, headed to her tent and the ammunition.

I sighed and headed over to the training ground. Now that they decided to stay, it was time to step up their training. They were going to hate me by lunchtime. I grinned in anticipation.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, after so many days, chapter 35. The first half of this chapter came with ease, but the latter half I struggled with. And I will tell you why in the end notes.
> 
> So, without further ado, enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

The rest of the week went by in a blur of training and planning. We came to find out that Wells had spent time with the Ark guards and learned firearms training, and I was no longer able to hide the rifles from the Trikru scouts. I was forced to allow half of the twenty-five I was currently training to learn how to care and use the weapons. But I did put my foot down and limited the live-fire training to one clip and letting them get used to the recoil and better their aim. I had the perfect excuse because the ammunition we had brought back was severely degraded, and the camp only had a limited number of viable rounds. Everyone reluctantly agreed, and only those standing watch would be allowed a rifle.

During our planning sessions, Clarke and Wells showed that they were as good, if not better, at strategizing than some clan generals I had the misfortune of working alongside. Clarke also showed off that not only was she good at reading maps, but she was also great at making them. Complaining about not having an accurate map and the need for an aerial view of the camp, I taught her how to climb like the Trikru. First, taking her to the top of the dropship and then some of the tallest trees around the camp. Clarke hated the instability of the thinner branches of the tree but couldn’t complain about the views she got to witness. I even caught her some nights sketching the views from memory. If her brilliant mind for politics and strategy, or her medical experience weren’t enough to make her valuable, her talent as an artist would buy her way into any clan.

Then Raven had the great idea to use the leftover fuel of the dropship to make mines and grenades. That was our first real fight because she wanted to make them now, and I wanted her to wait until it was closer to the Ark’s arrival. It got loud enough that Clarke and Wells both intervened and made us compromise on the issue. That night was the first night we slept apart since we got together. And unfortunately, my nightmares returned because of it, and this time they were filled with explosions and Raven’s death. And Raven was the only one who could calm me down. Neither one of us got any sleep that night as we sat down and talked about my worries and her excitement. Raven ended up not making them at all and agreed to wait. Her decision made me fall harder for her, and I could feel my heart beginning to break because my time at the camp was coming to an end.

Now, it was the last day I had to prove to Heda that Skaikru was worthy of becoming a part of the Kongeda. Either as their own clan or a part of Trikru. I had decided on a test that was more of a scavenger hunt. One where they needed to use the skills I had taught them and work together as teams. With twenty-five people, Murphy, Octavia, and I built the teams based on skills and personalities. I was nervous, but I didn’t let it show. I had to show them that I was confident in their abilities and that they would succeed.

Dawn had barely crested the landscape, leaving much of the camp in muted colors, and wisps of fog still danced around our ankles. We were gathered in front of the dropship. Murphy, Octavia, and I standing on the ramp so that we could be heard and seen. I looked out over the group of twenty-five and felt pride over what they had accomplished in so little time. They were nowhere near the skill levels of Trikru gonas their age, but with the time we had, they had come a long way.

I loudly cleared my throat as I stood on the ramp with my hands clasped behind my back. Octavia was on my left and Murphy on my right.

“Morning,” I called out, drawing their still waking attention to me. “Today is Test Day. Today, you will show us what you’ve learned and how well you work together as a team. Your test is an all-day scavenger hunt. To find the items on your list, you will be required to use the skills you now possess. Last night, each of you were given a colored stone, blue, black, white, green, and yellow. Five of you were also given white cloths. If any of you traded stones or cloths, I am giving you this opportunity to trade them back. There was a reason for your color designation and the cloths. You have one minute to trade back, and I _do_ know which of you traded and with whom. Do it. Now.”

There was a bit of a scramble to dig out the stones and give them back to one another. When they had settled, I spoke again.

“Good. The reason why you were given certain stones was because of the skills you possess and the ability to work with the people in that group. The cloth is to designate team leaders. You were chosen because, for the last week, you’ve shown the skills needed to be a leader. Wear that cloth with pride. The teams were designed and picked to showcase your strengths and weaknesses. This test utilizes not only your skills but also your ability to problem-solve. That means be smart how you go about accomplishing each task and not just barrel through them to get it done quickly. That’s not what this is about. This is about growth, and you proving to me just how far you’ve come.”

Octavia stepped forward a bit and spoke up, “Alright, listen up. Now that each of you has the correct stone, we’re going to separate you into your groups. Blue stones group up to my left, your right. Black stones group to Murphy’s right and your left. Yellow stands next to Blue. Green goes and stands next to Black. White, in the middle and in front of Harlee.”

We let them shuffle into their groups and settle down before Murphy spoke up, holding up sheets of paper, “Okay, it’s my turn. In my hand, I have your itemized list of items you are to find and bring back. With this list is the area the items can be found in. It is all within five miles of this dropship. You are not to step outside those five miles, and there are clear signs of demarcation. And they are easy enough to spot that a child can figure it out.”

I nodded to Murphy to hand the papers to the leaders and spoke up again, “The goal is to work together and bring back these items promptly. You have until an hour before sunset to bring them back, but I do not anticipate you taking that long. Each item is different for each group so, do not think about going after another group and stealing their items. If, for whatever reason, there is an accident and members of your group become too injured to continue, use that bird call I taught you. A _Trikru_ scout will be nearby and come to your aid.” -I held up a hand to stall the questions before they could start- “Scouts have been trailing every group or person that leaves this camp since the second day. They have been doing it on orders from their leader to make sure that we are not intent on harming their people or villages. We’ve spoken to them, and they’ve agreed to help us this once. They will not harm you, but they will stop you if you cross that five-mile boundary. They will also step in if you come under attack from either rogue Grounders or animals. They also speak enough English that you should have no problems communicating with them.”

I paused to let that sink in, and I could see their minds going, weighing the benefits of having someone experienced watching over them. Most seemed agreeable to my scouts' involvement.

“Now,” I spoke up again. “If a member of your team becomes injured, team leaders then have a decision to make. To continue and finish gathering the items or return. If you choose to forfeit, there is no shame in choosing to do so. As leaders, the people under you are your responsibility. You have to weigh the benefit of completing the mission with the benefit of keeping your people safe. Sometimes it is better to abort a mission and try another time than risk the lives of your people. That is why it is important to work together and know the people you are working with. Because if you can’t work together, you can end up fucking up the mission. And if you don’t know the people you work with, you can’t fully trust that the mission will succeed. Again, sometimes there’s no choice, and you have to take the risk. As leaders and as teams, you need to keep that in the back of your mind. Is the risk worth it? Is the risk worth my people?”

Murphy stepped up again and spoke up, “Alright. You’ve got your list, and you’ve got your map. You should also have your packs and weapons. You have fifteen minutes before you need to be walking out that gate. I would suggest taking that time to strategize and make sure you have everything and that it’s all in working order. You may not have the time to fix anything that’s broken in the field. And you may not have time to work out any other issues that arise because you didn’t take the time given to you now. Be smart. Use this time wisely.”

Octavia stepped up with a smirk planted firmly, “If you missed the hint. Your fifteen minutes start now.”

We watched as four of the five groups gathered closer together and began to talk amongst themselves. The Black group decided to take off immediately, talking and checking on their supplies as they walked out the gate. I just shook my head and waited for the fifteen minutes to be up. We hadn’t had breakfast yet, and I was starving. When the last group left, we descended the ramp. I paused and, after a thought, invited Murphy to join us. He declined, and we went our separate ways.

Clarke, Wells, and Raven were waiting inside my hut. Octavia went outside the camp and brought back the basket of food. We sat around, passing dishes to one another, and pouring each other drinks. Our conversations were muted as besides Octavia and me, none of the others were early risers. Once we were done with breakfast, they helped me clean up before we walked back towards the dropship. Raven and I left the group to walk to her tent, where Jasper was already working on the ammunition. We parted with a kiss, and I started wandering the camp aimlessly.

This was the first time since my injury that I was well enough to leave the camp and hunt, but I couldn’t. I needed to be close by for when the teams returned, but with the work crews beginning their work and the people assigned to watch already at their posts, I was bored. And a bored me usually meant trouble. 

With that in mind, I wandered back to my hut, thinking I might start a new whittling project since I was done with the bird I had carved. Those thoughts immediately went out of my mind when I saw what was lying on my bedroll. It seemed that Avil or Thor had already anticipated my need to keep busy. A pair of escrima sticks lay on the bedroll. Grinning, I snatched them up eagerly and walked back out and to a cleared space by the hut.

Smiling, I started to warm up. Stretching first to loosen the muscles before doing some warm-up drills to loosen the joints and get my body used to moving again. When I felt ready, I closed my eyes to center myself and started drilling. Starting slow, I made sure that nothing was pulled or strained as I moved through each drill. Smiling wider when I felt nothing but the fluid movements, I moved on to the next set faster.

I quickly lost myself in the movements, grinning as I began to feel the burn and sweat beginning to form. Escrima was probably one of my favorite forms to use because it allowed me to use weapons in both hands. My preferred weapons were a pair of hand axes, and even though they weren’t meant to be used with the style I was currently working on, I had long ago adapted the movements to compensate the axes. I was deadly, regardless if I had a weapon in my hand or not, but I was downright lethal with axes and short blades.

When I started to feel a slight strain, I slowed down and eased into cool down drills. I came to an end and stood still as my breathing continued to ease, and my heart slowed. The sound of clapping registered, and I looked up to see Octavia and Clarke keeping a safe distance from me. Seeing that I had noticed them, they came up to me. Both with equal amounts of awe on their faces, but Octavia was grinning like a fool.

“Damn,” Octavia whistled, still clapping. “That was fucking awesome, Lee. Where’d you learn that?”

“A book,” came my usual reply as I lifted my shirt to wipe the sweat off my face. “On different styles of what they called martial arts. It’s a style from someplace called the Philippines.”

“A book showed you how to do that,” Clarke asked, gesturing around me and quirking a brow in question.

“It showed me the moves, and I imitated,” I replied, shrugging. “I have no idea if its right, but it feels right. I taught myself and then learning from Lincoln, it just, I don’t know, but it works. Lincoln’s been impressed by how quickly I’ve picked up the weapons training. What are you two doing back here?”

“I was bored,” Octavia replied. “I think I’ve gotten used to training with the group in the morning, and now that they’re not here, I have no idea what to do with myself.”

I nodded, “Same. I would have gone hunting, but I wanted to be here when the groups started to come back. It was either this or whittling again. How about you, Clarke? What brings you by my neck of the camp since lunch isn’t any time soon?”

Clarke blushed and then looked exasperated, “Mom. I finally broke down and spoke with her. It didn’t last long before I got pissed and walked away.”

“She tell you why,” I asked, knowing what they probably spoke about.

Clarke frowned as she nodded, “Yeah. She said that she went to Jaha to see if he could convince Dad to keep quiet. Since they were friends.”

I nodded in understanding, “Your mom thought that Jaha would speak to your dad as a friend and not act as the Chancellor. It’s a reasonable assumption, especially if they’ve been friends for a long time.”

Clarke sighed in exasperation and started to pace, “Yeah, it’s reasonable, but I mean, Mom was on the floating Council! You’d think that by that time, she would have known how Jaha would’ve reacted. That he would have been more concerned with staying in power and keeping control of the Ark.”

I stepped closer to Clarke and laid a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from pacing, “Clarke, I can’t speak for your mother, but it sounds like she was trying to save your father. If _she_ , his _wife_ , the woman he loves, couldn’t persuade him to change his mind, then she had every right to look for additional help. From someone, they both thought of as a friend and a trusted one at that. And just like you tend to look beyond the bad for any bit of good in a person, maybe she thought her _friend_ , Jaha, would just once, forget his position and look out for _his_ friend. Do you get what I’m saying?”

Clarke looked at me desperately as conflict warred behind her sapphire eyes. Tears began to well up, and I pulled her to me in an embrace. The moment my arms were around her, Clarke started crying. I just held her as Octavia stood awkwardly to the side.

When the tears had subsided, I pulled back and looked at her, “Better?”

“A bit,” Clarke admitted and wiped the tears away. “I still feel like hitting something.”

I smiled, stepped back, and held out one of the escrima sticks to her, “I think I can help you with that. Not hitting but give you something to focus on. Something tells me that you might actually be good at this style.”

Clarke looked hesitantly at the stick, and rubbed the back of her neck nervously, “I don’t know…”

“You need to learn how to defend yourself anyway,” I said, prompting her. “And like most fighting disciplines, this takes focus to get the movements right. Which _means_ that you won’t be able to think about your mother for a bit.”

“Hell yeah,” Octavia excitedly cried, and I held out a stick to her. “I could definitely go for forgetting about my asshole brother for a bit. I’m in!”

“Wait, if we both have sticks, how are you going to show us,” Clarke asked as they both took a stick.

I grinned and pulled out the knife from my back and brandished it, “With this. The moves transfer to any short-bladed weapon. Now, give yourselves some room. You don’t want to hit each other.”

They both nodded and moved further apart. I faced them and showed them stretches and movements to loosen their joints and muscles up. Clarke was already sweating slightly from the warm-ups by the time I started teaching them beginning drills. I worked with them, correcting placement, and often getting a bit more hands-on as I’d guide them through the move. I was able to get a couple of hours out of them before Clarke’s arm started trembling from the exertion.

Once we were cooled down, we headed back to my hut for lunch. Octavia, once more, volunteering to retrieve our meal from outside. We met up with Raven and Wells, opting to sit outside, where the breeze allowed the three of us to cool off further. The meal was pleasant, but it didn’t distract me from my thoughts liked I hoped it would. Because once the last team came back, and I finished the last assessment, it was only a matter of time before I had to leave. And I hoped that when my deception was revealed, I wouldn’t lose everything I had gained.

As I looked around the group, my thoughts were further cemented that this mission had done more than what Heda had wanted. I had found a sister in Octavia. Friends in Clarke and Wells. And most importantly, my heart in Raven. I just hoped that the outcome would be one we could all live with because I wasn’t so sure that I could perform my duty if it didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the reason why I struggled on the latter half is because I had started off with Raven discovering Harlee wasn't who she said she is. I was planning on explosive arguments between them, but when I would write, the conversation always came out calm. And I was like, nope. So, I changed it to Harlee sparring by herself and then Octavia and Clarke butting in.
> 
> Now, the style Harlee is practicing is called Arnis or Kali or Escrima. It's the traditional martial arts of the Philippines. There's this cool YouTube video uploaded by the Budo Brothers showing off the style. I watched other videos and it's pretty badass to watch. The sticks Harlee uses are called Bastons which are typically made out of rattan and roughly between 24- to 28-inches long.
> 
> And I'm going to admit that her training with the sticks was inspired by an episode of Xena where the Amazons fight with "chobo" sticks. Even after years, those scenes have stuck with me. So, that's why I put it in.
> 
> So, I hoped you liked this chapter and as I've stated previously this part of the story is almost over. Coming up is Heda's decision and deceptions are revealed. Let's see if I can make this good. Until next time.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 36! Things happen.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others

I woke up feeling like something was different. Keeping my eyes closed and my breathing even, I reached out with my senses but felt nothing amiss. Still, the feeling persisted. Frowning, I pulled Raven closer to me, and she let out a happy little sigh as she snuggled deeper into me. I tried to relax, but that niggling feeling was persistent. I reached up and ran a hand through my hair before setting it behind my head as I tried to figure out what was going on.

It had been three days since I sent my report to both Indra and Heda. I wasn’t expecting to hear anything from the Trikru leader, but Heda wasn’t one to drag out decisions. Heda hadn’t even sent in word recalling me back to my camp, which was why I was still here. But I wasn’t complaining about that part because it meant that I got to be with Raven that much longer. However, with idle time on my hands, I was falling into more in-depth thinking and wondering if I should break down and confess to Raven.

I wanted to tell her. By the Gods, did I want to, but I feared the repercussions. I feared what I felt would be the inevitable ending of our relationship, and that was something I wanted less and less. Because every day I was with her, my feelings were growing stronger and deeper for her. I started thinking of a future with Raven. With children of our own as we ruled Trikovakru together and Raven as my Kwin. Those thoughts and images were becoming more evident as each day progressed. It was insane how quickly it all seemed to be happening, and I felt helpless to stop it. What was even more frightening, I didn’t want it to end.

Raven stirred against my chest, nuzzling my neck and laying her lips against my pulse. I closed my eyes at the feeling. I pulled her on top of me and bared my neck to her. But she pulled back to lay her arms against my chest, and I let out a small whine, opening my eyes to look at her.

Raven looked at me with concern as we stared at one another. My hands resting firmly on her ass as she reached up to move hair from my face.

“Not that I mind waking up like this,” Raven idly said and to prove a point, ground down on me and making me jerk. “But you’re thinking loudly again. What’s on your mind this time?”

“Us,” I replied, squeezing her ass, and pulling her into me, making us close our eyes simultaneously in pleasure. “And how much you’ve come to mean to me in such a short time. How the longer I’m with you, the clearer our future becomes. But above all else, how incredibly happy you make me.”

Raven smirked and leaned forward to kiss me, pressing our breasts together and making me moan into the kiss. I palmed her ass and slid my other hand up her back to cup the back of her head. But Raven was starting to get to know me, and she knew that I was using this moment to try and distract her or myself from digging further. So, she broke the kiss and pushed up against me until she was sitting across my hips. Suddenly, my want turned to lust, and I surged upward to recapture her lips and flipped us over, pinning her beneath me as I devoured her lips hungrily.

I pinned her hands above her head as my lips moved to trail down her jaw to settle on her pulse point and leave a small bruise. Raven responded with a roll of her hips that left us both moaning in pleasure. I continued my downward travel, nipping, and licking the salty taste of her tanned skin. Appreciating the swell of her breasts above her bra, I brought a hand down and slid it underneath the fabric to cup a breast in my calloused hand. Making Raven moan as I pinched the nipple into alertness and continued to lavish her chest with small nips and kisses.

Raven tried to tug her hands free, but I held them fast with one hand as I continued my assault on her flesh. Her hips rolling every once in a while as she looked for friction, and I gladly ground down the harder I grew.

“Lee,” she moaned my name, and I sucked harder against the flesh of her stomach at the sound of it.

Raven tugged her arms again to free them, “Lee. Please.”

I ignored her pleas as I shoved her bra up and over to expose her breasts. I paused to take a moment to appreciate their fullness before bending to show my devotion with my mouth. Raven moaned even louder when I teased a nipple with a graze of my teeth before curling my tongue over its puckered state and drawing it into my mouth.

“Harlee,” Raven called out, tugging more forcefully as she tried to free her hands. “Oh God. Feels soo good. Fuuuck. Ha-Harlee. N-n-need y-y-you t-t-to st-stop. Please stop, Harlee.”

The command registered, and I stopped in confusion, laced with lust to look at her. Raven’s face was flushed, her eyes nearly black with desire, but her mouth was stern, which confused me even more. I felt her tug her arms, and I immediately released them and pushed myself slightly away.

“Why are we stopping, my Valkyrie,” I asked, my voice low and sultry from desire.

“Mmm,” she bit her lip and closed her eyes at the sound.

When she felt me move to kiss those lips again, her eyes snapped open, and Raven laid a hand against my chest to keep me in place, confusing me even more.

“We were talking, Harlee,” Raven sternly replied. “Then you decided you wanted to distract rather than talk. I know your game, Lee. Why don’t you want to talk about us?”

I groaned and rolled to the side, undoing my pants to relieve some pressure before covering my face with my arm. I felt Raven shift and then tugging on my arm so that I’d look at her. I lowered my arm reluctantly and met concerned, chocolate brown eyes looking down at me.

“Harlee,” Raven softly spoke and reached up to stroke my face with a gentle touch. “What’s going on?”

I sighed, reached up to take her hand, and lay a kiss along its back. I shifted until we were both laying on our sides, and needing contact, placing a hand along her hip. I took a moment to memorize her face before bringing my gaze back to hers.

“It’s hard to explain,” I started after clearing my throat. “I woke up and for some unknown reason, today feels different. And it bothers me that I don’t know why. Then I started to think about us and our future. How much clearer it seems. I see us with children and a home. I see us happy.”

Raven had smiled as I described our future, “That sounds nice.”

I hummed in agreement, “And then I think and realize that we’ve only known each other for almost two weeks. This scares me, Raven. That in such a short time, I have fallen so deeply that I’m picturing our future. Together. And not just any future, but one filled with children and happiness. Two things, I might add, that we’re both afraid of but want.”

Raven frowned, “Are you thinking we’ve been moving too fast?”

I shook my head, smirking, “If we were moving too fast, we’d be keeping the camp awake with our nightly activities.”

Raven snorted and playfully shoved me, “Jerk.”

I smiled, “But true. I guess I’m scared of how strong my feelings are and how every day they only grow stronger. And maybe because everything’s so uncertain right now…I don’t know. I guess, maybe, I expect it to get ripped away from me. Good things don’t happen to me, Raven. And this is the longest period where I’ve felt even a fraction of happiness.”

“You haven’t asked me,” Raven quietly spoke, tracing the contours of my side.

“Do you want me to,” I asked just as quietly.

Raven mutely nodded, dropping her gaze to follow her hand as it moved.

I reached up and took her hand in mine, squeezing it in reassurance, “Raven, do you feel even a small amount of what I feel about us? Do you find yourself picturing our future at odd moments in the day? Do you dream of children and a home with me?”

“What if I told you no,” Raven asked, looking earnestly at me. “What if I told you that I am strongly attracted to you but only like you a little bit? And that when I think of my future, you’re not in it.”

“I’d be hurt,” I replied, truthfully. “Disappointed. Maybe I’d give you what you want and then end it to give myself time to grieve and build a wall around my heart for the inevitability of seeing you with someone else. I’d still be happy for you, and I’d still look out for you. And watch over those important to you. But I don’t think I’d ever open my heart to someone the way you’ve captured mine. Because I wouldn’t be able to give them something I no longer have.”

“You’d live alone for the rest of your life if I broke it off,” Raven asked, looking incredulous.

“That depends on your definition of alone,” I replied with a shrug. “I’d still have people in my life. Maybe some of them would be close friends. Maybe some I would even call family. I’d probably go back to sleeping my way through the female population when I felt that particular need. But if you’re asking me if I’d find someone to build a life around. Someone to wake up to every morning. Someone to have children with. A home. I don’t think I would.”

“Why?”

I contemplated my answer for a long moment before I answered, “Because, for me, this is it. You are the only one I want. The only one I will ever want, Raven. I know it’s too soon to start spouting off about love, but every moment I’m with you, it becomes evident that what I feel is love. It’s not the love between family or friends but rather the Love between two or more people.”

“Hold on a sec. Two _or more_ people,” Raven looked at me in shock. “You believe in polyamory?”

I smiled, “I believe that Love exists wherever it may be found. Between any combination of genders or number of partners. Whatever creates a balance. But just because that’s what I believe doesn’t mean that I expect us to have anything more then what is between us. As I said before, Raven. You. Are. It. There will never be someone else for me.”

Raven became silent for a long time as she thought over my words. I let her be and just enjoyed her presence even if I wasn’t thrilled about having this conversation. I spoke nothing less than the truth. When the end of the world decimated the human population, many of the Old World stigmas and traditions went with it. 

Faith in higher powers and Spirits resurged. With the help of Spirits emerging and making themselves known. Love between people opened and became more inclusive. Especially with the need to repopulate the world. What we once thought valuable no longer was. It was as if humanity hit the RESET button and started over again without losing the knowledge of where we fucked up. So, we strived to be better even as we fought and bled for survival. And now, centuries later, we were finally ready to know what Peace was.

“You know,” Raven began and drew me out of my reverie. “On the Ark, we’re taught that love wasn’t necessary for our survival. The Council allowed us to have our relationships, but when it came time, we did what we had to do. If we were lucky, we’d get along, and maybe something would build between us. But more often enough, you’d get what a lot of us here grew up with. Parents who barely tolerated one another or had a kid and then split. With Finn, I thought I’d gotten lucky. I’d found someone that I more than got along with and thought I loved. Then I came down and saw what I would’ve most likely had to put up with. I realized that, down here, I didn’t and dropped Finn like a bad habit. Then there was you.”

I remained silent as Raven paused to gather her thoughts before continuing. Her hand moved to trace my face and chest, making me shiver at the light touch, but she persisted, and I tried to ignore it as best as I could.

“There was you,” Raven continued. “A drop-dead gorgeous woman with an attitude to match. A woman that kissed me so damn good that made kissing anybody else seem lame. A woman with every word, every action created a puzzle I wanted to figure out. And then hearing Roma and Bree brag about their shared night with you. I thought that you were like everyone else. Just someone who’s only interest was sex and used what they had to get it. That made you perfect to get back at Finn for the shit he did. And a part of me thought that if he saw us together, _heard_ us together, he’d realize his mistake and come back to me. That went out the window when I saw that he seemed to forget about me the moment we were over and turn his focus on to Clarke.”

“Are you saying that you only want me for my body, Raven,” I teased.

Raven snorted, her eyes briefly latching onto mine before she went back to watching her hand trace me, “No. Maybe at first, but the more I was around you, the more I realized that what I was feeling wasn’t just lust and lack of sex. I was feeling things that I’d never felt with Finn. And what I felt for Finn was nothing compared to what I feel for you. And the more I’m with you, the stronger these feelings grow. I thought I knew what love was, but I’m not sure that what I felt was love. When I’m with you, I feel like I can do anything. Take on anything. Because I know you’re there with me. I get nervous when you’re not in camp, and that feeling doesn’t go away until I see you back here, safe and in one piece. I get angry when I see you hurt in any way because it makes me scared. Even though I complain about you making sure I eat and sleep, I secretly love that you’re taking care of me. I love our conversations because you challenge me to think outside what I was taught. I love going to sleep in your arms and waking up in them. And it scares me how quickly I’ve come to care for and about you.”

“What are you saying, Raven,” I asked quietly as I searched her face for an answer.

Raven pushed me to lay on my back and then straddled me. My hands automatically went to her hips as hers rested on either side of my head. Looking down at me, all I saw was love in Raven’s eyes.

“What I am saying,” Raven said, slowly leaning down. “Is that future you spoke of with kids and a home. I see it too with you and only you. Maybe not now, but when things settle, I can see us with a family and surrounded by our friends. And they’d have their families, and we’d all be happy together.”

“I’d really like that,” I whispered as she hovered inches away from me.

“Me too,” she whispered and closed the gap to bring our lips together.

My hands tightened on her hips as our tongues tangled in a dance. But even as things grew heavy, we still didn’t take it any further. Slowing down until our desires curbed and she rested on top of me with her head tucked into my neck.

“You know,” Raven spoke up as our breaths and hearts slowed. “I don’t know how much longer I can take this. We both want this, so why are we holding back?”

I breathlessly chuckled, “I don’t know anymore. We wanted to take things slow, but this. This is becoming painful, my Valkyrie.”

“I can take care of that,” she readily replied, snaking a hand downward, but I quickly intercepted it.

I pulled it up and lay a kiss on her palm to waylay any protest, “It’s fine, my Valkyrie. And anyway, we don’t have much longer before we lose this solitude.”

Raven pouted, “We should really consider building a sturdier door. With a _lock_.”

I laughed, “Maybe, but we do live among criminals, my love.”

Raven preened at her new nickname, “But you can’t really call our friends criminals, can you?”

Smiling, I said, “I suppose not, but they are known to be persistent.”

“Yeah, they are,” Raven sighed and entwined our hands as she shifted her head to look at them.

We lay there contentedly until I heard the slight rustle of the basket of breakfast being left by my guard. With great reluctance, I got up and retrieved it, and found a sealed note inside. Refusing to let reality intrude yet, I shoved it in my pocket and brought the basket inside. We set about readying ourselves for the day as we waited for the arrival of the usual trio. Breakfast went as usual, small talk among grunts and glares because it was morning, and they were up. Before long, I had deposited Raven at her tent and headed back to my hut, the note burning a hole in my pocket the entire way.

The moment I was alone, I pulled it out and making sure the seal was intact, broke it. I felt relief flood my veins before adrenaline replaced it, and my mind started making plans. I stepped into the forest and whistled for my guard. Avil came down immediately, and I relayed my orders. He grinned before taking off to accomplish his tasks. I strode back and headed straight to Raven’s tent. Ducking inside only long enough to let her know I was going hunting before kissing her hard. I left her breathless with a cackling Jasper.

I stopped long enough to grab my bow and quiver before leaving the camp and heading to my Riders’ camp. When I arrived, I sent a pair of hunters out to procure something to bring back to the Skaikru camp when I was done relaying and setting my plan in motion. Moving into my tent, I dumped my things in my sleeping quarters before unfolding the map of the Skaikru camp and surrounding area I had copied from Clarke’s. I set about moving pieces about on the map as I waited for those I sent for. When I was happy with placements, I settled back into a dark corner and waited.

Deke and Indra arrived together since they coordinated patrols and scouts around the Mountain. Deke saw me but said nothing as he poured himself and Indra a drink. Indra took it and began studying the map. I could see her eyes flit about as she did calculations in her head and saw the subtle nod that showed me she approved. Deke’s eyes darted between me and the map as he tried to guess if this was a plan of attack or something else.

Thirty minutes after their arrival, Anya showed up. Annoyed as if it was an inconvenience to come out all this way. Or as if she were above meeting with me.

Anya took a long look around the tent, and not seeing me, huffed, “She calls us to a meeting and isn’t even here. Does she think that I can just leave any time she calls?” -she sees the map and walks over to peer at it as Indra is glaring at her while looking around nervously- “Oh, finally! We—”

“We are what,” I asked in a voice that brokers no argument and stepping out of the shadows.

Anya spun drawing her sword at the sound of my voice as Deke stepped between us with his own sword drawn. Indra remains immobile though I can see her hand on the hilt of her sword.

I laid a hand on Deke’s arm, and he bows his head before sheathing his sword but keeps his hand on the hilt. I regard Anya coolly as I stepped to the head of the table.

“I believe I asked you a question, Onya,” I stated. “But before you answer, I’ll answer yours. Sha, I _know_ you can leave whenever I call, Onya. While Indra and Deke have been coordinating Ripa patrols and keeping Maunon away from Skaikru, and I have been gathering information on Skaikru, _you_ have barely trained your seken or your gonas while camped. Your _scouts_ have been reporting to Indra before reporting to you. Instead of _helping_ the locals as all gona are ordered to do when awaiting further orders, you and yours have been _nothing_ but a drain on resources.”

“How dare—” Anya took a threatening step forward, raising her sword slightly, but Deke and Indra intervened.

I looked at her coldly, “I _dare_ because I can. Do not forget your place unless you’d _like_ to lose your command, Wormana Onya. Now. Answer my question.”

Anya ground her jaw as she glared at me from behind the human wall made up of Indra and Deke. With a growl, she stepped back and sheathed her sword before moving and gesturing to the map on the table.

“The map shows a battle plan,” Anya huffed, growling still. “It pleases me to see Heda grow some sense and rid Trikru of these worthless veidas.”

“I suppose it does rather look like a plan of attack,” I drawled, glancing at the map. “Indra, is this what you see?”

Indra turned and studied the map further. I waited patiently as she walked around to gather various viewpoints.

Finally, she stood off to the side and looked at me, “No, Trikova. Though the numbers are 2:1 in our favor, a third of our force indicated are injured and sekens. This is a show of force to gain compliance from the Skaikru.”

“What,” Anya spoke up, mystified and looked closer at the map. “No! What the hell, Lee?”

“You will address Wocha with respect, Wormana,” Deke threatened.

“Chilnes, Deke,” I intervened. I pulled out the letter from Heda and laid it on top of the map, “I am sure that Indra received a similar note, but I will relay what is in mine. Given a week to prove themselves, twenty-five Skaikru volunteered themselves for training. This was done without their knowledge of how important this endeavor was. Twenty succeeded and surpassed my expectations. All twenty have expressed additional training. Fifteen as gonas and ten as gonas en hontas. Thirty of those who did not volunteer have stepped up and asked for gona training. The rest do not wish to do so but have not shirked their assigned duties. These ninety-two remaining Skaikru have proven that they wish to make a life here. Away from their people in the Sky and their leadership. All they need is additional guidance and exposure to other trades besides gona en honta. Heda has permitted us to begin negotiations for an alliance.”

“The five that failed, Trikova,” Indra politely asked.

“They were followers of Belomi,” I replied. “And like Belomi, acted without thought and suffered the consequences. Too injured to continue, and yet they attempted anyway. Then got lost within a couple of miles from the camp. They refused to seek help even though it was there and waiting. Now, they are being punished for their stupidity by their Skaiheda, Klark, who is also their fisa.”

Deke snorted in amusement, and Indra cracked a rare upturn of her lip. Anya stood silent as she regarded the map.

“What is the plan, Wocha,” Deke asked.

I smirked and motioned for everyone to gather closer, “This is what we’re going to do.”

And with that, I relayed the plan. I planned to move Skaikru from the dropship closer to Tondc while housing injured and sekens in their stead. Indra was happy that I was not forcing Tondc to carry the full load of nearly a hundred additional mouths to feed and care for. In return, Indra promised gonas who were trained in other trades to introduce Skaikru to. Plus, coordinating with my quartermaster to gather enough tents, blankets, and other equipment to house Skaikru for the duration of the negotiations.

Anya was not happy that I was ordering more than half of her force of three hundred to scare and then babysit as Skaikru was transported to their new campsite. That was until I told her that the dropship was staying manned to lure the Maunon and Ripas out. That her gonas would be allowed to take as many of them out as they wished. Then she nodded and agreed with the plan.

When I was done, I looked to Indra and asked, “How long do you need to prepare the new site, Indra?”

Indra regarded another map. This one of Tondc and the surrounding area.

“Two days, Trikova,” Indra replied, looking at me with a nod. “To clear the land and find enough equipment.”

I nodded, “Os. And the carts?”

“They can be borrowed from several locals,” Indra replied. “That will be no problem.”

“Os. Do you know where to find my Quartermaster?”

Indra nodded, “I do. Alice, correct?”

“Sha. If you have no further questions regarding this, you may leave and speak with her. I want this to go as smoothly as possible. The more we get done now, the better.”

“No, Trikova,” Indra replied, bowing her head. “I have no further questions, but if I do, I am sure that Deke will be able to provide the answers.”

I smiled at her and nodded in dismissal, “Your input has been invaluable, Indra. Thank you for your help.”

“It is an honor, Trikova,” Indra said and, with a nod to Deke and a glare to Anya, left.

I looked to Deke, “You know what I need, Deke. In two days, things will move quickly. I want you to coordinate with Onya’s forces to get them in place around the Skaikru camp as soon as dawn breaks. I want men ready in appropriate clothing to move in from the back the moment Klark and the others leave to meet with Onya. I’ll guide them in before leaving to get ready.”

“Sha, Wocha,” Deke replied with a nod.

“I will have that list ready soon,” I said, already pulling a sheet out and writing what needed to be gathered and pulled. I glanced at Anya and said, “Onya, you may not like the part you play in this, but it is vital. You will still be acting as Heda’s Voice during these negotiations. _That_ is where I need you to be your sharpest. We _need_ Klark to volunteer to take on the Maun-de, Onya. And with your wit, I know we can do it. Trust me.”

Anya sighed, “I would much rather run my sword through Azgeda flesh than trick goufas into doing what you want, Trikova.”

Deke and I snorted in amusement, and I replied, “So would I, but if we want Leksa to stay in power, then we need to show that even clueless veidas can be useful. Nia is beginning to grow impatient with these little prods she is throwing at the Trikru borders. If this does not work, then Nia will be able to convince a few that Leksa is weak. And if that happens…”

“Sha,” Anya breathed as I left the sentence dangling. “You are hedging much on less than a hundred goufas, Lee.”

I sighed and nodded, “I know, but whether it’s the Spirits or sheer stubborn Will, I think this will work. My only concern is keeping those in the Sky at bay while we finish this. Because we are going to need everyone to get them to submit.”

“I was beginning to like Peace,” Anya said with a heavy sigh.

I looked at her incredulously and laughed, “No, you weren’t. You’ve been complaining that I’m taking all the fun and leaving you with nothing to do but remove corpses before they stunk up the place.”

Anya huffed in annoyance, “It’s not like you _have_ to be everywhere, Lee. You could take a break and go sit in your palace for a bit.”

I looked at Deke in confusion, “When did I get a palace, Deke? Or is there something you and your houmon have been hiding from me?”

Deke guffawed, “No, Lee. There’s no palace unless you’re planning on taking Nia’s.”

I looked at him, horrified, “No way in Hel am I taking Nia’s palace. It’s too joken cold up there! I have no desire to freeze either of my attributes off.”

Anya rolled her eyes, “Okay. I get it. You don’t live in a palace. Or a tower. One of these days, I _will_ figure it out. But the fact remains that you and your Riders aren’t as needed as they used to be.”

I snorted, “Yeah, I will believe that when you pick up a fayagon. Voluntarily. You should see the number of requests Heda gets from villages to send my Riders to take care of problems. Problems that their own gonas can take care of, mind you. And because of our arrangement, I _have_ to send Riders to take care of it. Trust me; I am as tired of being away from home as you are of seeing me. Or rather, seeing what I left behind. But until the Maun-de is no more, we do what we must.”

Anya stepped closer to me as I started on another list, “Lee, if it’s as out of control as it sounds, does Leksa realize it?”

I absently nodded, “She does. And she tries to weed out the issues out and give me the more pressing matters. But, I still end up gone for moons at a time.”

“When is the last time you were home,” Anya asked, her voice laced with concern now.

I paused in my writing as I drew a blank, “Uh…”

“Eight moons,” Deke answered for me, and we both looked at him in surprise.

“Keryon’s Blessed! Lee,” Anya exclaimed.

I shrugged and went back to writing, “You can blame Azgeda en Boudalan for that. Anyway,” -I tapped the maps- “back to this. Order Linkon to present himself at the Skaikru gate with Okteivia before sunset today. They’ll act as our liaisons to set up the meeting between you and Klark, Onya. I need you to hold them there until I arrive with a contingent of Riders. And you know the rest of the plan.”

“And the meeting will be in two days,” Anya nodded along. “What are you planning on doing while Deke and I play escort?”

I grinned as I finished the last list, “Taking a much needed bath. That reminds me, Deke. Make sure we have bathing tents set up with enough hot water and soap. Oh, and clean clothes. They haven’t bathed in a moon. It’s disgusting.”

Anya blanched and took a subtle step away, wrinkling her nose, “Is _that_ what I’ve been smelling?”

I rolled my eyes and handed the lists to Deke and walked to my sleeping quarters, “Don’t even start, Onya. I get enough of that skrish from Ben.” -grabbing my bow and quiver before returning to glare at Anya- “Trust me. I’m well aware of how bad I smell. _That_ is why the first thing I’m doing is taking a bath.”

“And the second,” Anya asked as they both followed me out of the tent.

I shrugged, “I have no idea. I can’t think past the bath. Anyway, you’ve got your orders. I expect to see Linkon at sunset.”

“He will be there,” Anya stated as I took a huge buck from a Rider and hefted it across my shoulders.

“Os. I will see you in two days,” I said and headed back to the Skaikru camp.

Glad that things were finally coming together while worrying about what will happen between Raven and me. I hoped what we had was strong enough to weather the shitstorm this was going to bring inevitably. But only time would tell, and I hated it.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your dose of Harlee. A little bit of fluff and a little bit of build-up.
> 
> Now, I have a question for you, my lovely readers. Would it be better to have one more chapter with them talking about the meeting with Anya and Harlee getting everything ready? Or would you like me to skip to the day of the meeting? This I'm going to leave up for you to decide. So, leave a comment and let me know. Most votes get updated next. 
> 
> Until next time. Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

I was cleaning the deer when Raven found me. She stood off to the side, grimacing in disgust as I removed the organs to be cooked. I had finally gotten the Hundred to realize that eating some of the organs was healthy for them, and they were no longer being thrown away. When I was done, I stepped back, and two others descended on the carcass to begin removing the hide and head.

Walking over to her, I leaned down to kiss her but she promptly shoved a hand in my face.

“Nah-uh,” Raven voiced in disgust. “You’re covered in blood and deer guts. You are not getting near me until you’ve cleaned up.”

I pressed my lips to her palm before shaking my head loose of her hand to pout, “But babe…”

Raven shook her head, pointed at a bucket of water off to the side, and glared at me, “Nope. That look ain’t gonna work. Clean first, then I might consider kissing you.”

I playfully groaned at her before walking over and cleaning up. I looked at her over my shoulder and said, “I was already planning on cleaning up, but you were standing there looking all adorable. I couldn’t help myself.”

“I am not adorable,” Raven huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring harder at me.

I smirked and shaking my arms free of water; I walked back to her, “You are absolutely right, my Valkyrie. You are not adorable. You are beautiful, gorgeous, exquisite, attractive, sexy, radiant…need I go on?”

Raven smirked and pulled me in by my pants, “Oh, you are by far not done, Casanova.”

“Oh really,” I replied, draping my arms over her shoulders, smiling wide. “You are beauteous” -I leaned down and kissed her- “bonny” -kiss- “drop-dead” -kiss- “a knockout” -kiss- “ravishing” -longer kiss- “stu—”

“Oh my god, we want to eat. Not lose our appetite,” Murphy loudly groaned, interrupting.

I burst out laughing as Raven flipped him off. I turned to look at him while pulling Raven closer, “You’re just jealous, Murphy. While I’ve got this beautiful creature all to myself, you’ve got” -I paused and looked around, then grinned as I gestured- “Mbege.”

The two boys looked at each other, horrified, making us laugh harder. The boys glared at us, and I just shrugged, still grinning as Raven and I walked off.

Raven wrapped an arm around my waist as she leaned her head against me, “That was funny.”

I smirked down at her, “It was. The look on their faces is one I’ll remember. So, did you have a good day while I was gone?”

“Eh,” Raven replied, shrugging. “I had to listen to more of Jasper spouting off his father’s words of wisdom. ‘My kingdom for a soda can.’ I’m not sure the Jordan’s are all right in the head.”

I snorted in amusement, “They say that there’s always one of those in a group. At least Jasper’s knowledge is helping. He _is_ helping, right?”

Raven nodded as we entered my hut, “He’s proven quite useful. But it’s like babysitting a child. He gets distracted so easily that sometimes I just want to hit him over the head with a pan. If I had a pan to hit him with.”

I laughed and put my things away, “There are worse people to work with.”

“True,” Raven mused as she came and wrapped her arms around me. “I admit, he does make the day go quicker. Hmm, now we were in the middle of something before asshole, AKA John Murphy, interrupted us.”

I looked off to the side as if I had to remember even as I pulled her closer to me, “Huh, I do not recall such a thing. Maybe you should remind me.”

“I believe you were running through the synonyms of what you think of me,” Raven knowingly replied.

I playfully frowned and shook my head, looking down at her, “No. No, that doesn’t sound right. I remember taking care of the buck I brought back, but then…something distracted me. It was, hmm, something…Oh, well” -I let Raven go and went to turn away- “I’m sure it’ll come back to me. Maybe tomorrow.”

Raven grabbed me and placed her hands behind my neck, forcing me to lean down, “You ass. We are not waiting for tomorrow.”

I grinned and closed the gap to kiss her, “I would never. What’s that saying, ‘why put it off tomorrow, when you can do it today.’ Or something like that.”

“You’re a real jerk; you know that right,” she said, kissing me.

I chuckled into the kiss and maneuvered us until she was lying beneath me, “I know, but you’re starting to love me anyway.”

Raven looked up at me, looking serious for a second, “I’m thinking I might have to amend my feelings for you.”

I chuckled, raising a brow, “Really? If that happens, you’ll have to go back to eating what those kids out there call food. Instead of the goodness that gets delivered to me by Lincoln.”

She gasped at me, wide-eyed, “You wouldn’t dare?!”

I smirked as I lowered myself, “Try me, my Valkyrie. Good food and this drop-dead gorgeous of a goddess that is me. Or” -I stopped a hairsbreadth from her lips- “Delinquent cooking and lonely nights in a cold tent. Decisions. Decisions.”

Raven huffed and rolled her eyes, “Whatever. Just kiss me already.”

“On your command, my Valkyrie,” I whispered, kissing her tenderly, and the world faded away around us as we focused only on each other.

What felt like hours later, noises drew me out of our bubble, and I looked toward the door.

Raven stirred, noticing my gaze, “What is it?”

I sat up, frowning, “I’m not sure. A commotion or something is going on. We should probably go and see what it is.”

“But I was comfortable,” Raven whined even as she reached for her bra and shirt.

I chuckled and pecked her lips, “I was too, but we wouldn’t be happy if we missed something.”

Raven popped her head out of her shirt and pulled her hair out after, “True. But maybe you should get dressed first.”

I looked down at my bare chest and smirked back at her, “Why? It’s not like they’ve never seen breasts before.”

Raven growled and threw my clothes at me, “The only one that gets to see your naked chest is me, Casanova. You are mine.”

I grinned and pulled my bra and shirt on, “Have I told you that I love it when you get possessive?”

Raven rolled her eyes and countered with, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a dick?”

I nodded and stood up, “Many times. But it doesn’t change the fact that I love it when I hear that I’m yours.”

“You are impossible, Harlee,” Raven said, holding out a hand for me to pull her up.

I did so, and held her close, “I’ve got to keep you on your toes somehow, my Valkyrie. Life would be tedious otherwise.”

“So, true,” she sighed as we kissed before heading outside.

We walked hand in hand towards the source of the commotion. I looked up at the sky and noted that it was around sunset. I had a suspicion I knew exactly was causing the disturbance. The camp was getting their first look at a Grounder, even if it was only Lincoln.

Pushing our way through the crowd, we came up to stand next to Clarke and Wells. Standing a reasonable distance from the gate and well out of range of the rifles were Lincoln and Octavia. I looked over at Clarke and noticed that she was biting her lip nervously.

I nudged her shoulder with my own, and she jumped in startlement to look at me.

I motioned to the kids on the wall, “Tell them to stand down. He’s a friend. That’s Lincoln.”

“Why is he here,” Clarke urgently hissed at me, looking more scared than nervous now.

“I don’t know,” I replied. “Why don’t you ask him?”

Clarke looked around and then sighed in resignation, “Will you come with me?”

I smiled and nodded, “Of course. But first, have the kids on the wall stand down. We don’t want anyone to get shot accidentally. And you know, start a war.”

“Right, right,” Clarke mumbled and then turned to address the kids on the wall. “Stand down! He’s a friend! Put your guns down. Now!”

The kids on the wall hesitated as they looked between Lincoln and us before lowering their weapons. I let out a sigh of relief and then nodded for us to start moving to Lincoln and Octavia.

“Lincoln,” I politely inclined my head and held out my arm. “It’s been a long time.”

Lincoln reached out and took my forearm in greeting, “It has. I am glad to see that you have recovered.”

I smiled, “Thank you. I am lucky to be alive. Lincoln _kom Trikru_ , I’d like you to meet the leader of our camp, Clarke Griffin. Clarke, this is Lincoln. A friend that has taught me much since our time on the ground.”

Clarke extended her arm as I did, and Lincoln took it as he did mine but bowed his head, “It is an honor to meet you, _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

“It’s an honor to meet you as well, Lincoln,” Clarke replied. “This is Wells Jaha, a friend, and I guess you could say my co-leader. And this is Raven Reyes. Our mechanical genius.”

Wells and Raven both waved at him as he nodded to them in return.

“I come with a message from my leader, General Anya,” Lincoln respectfully intoned. “She requests your presence in two days.”

“Oh,” Clarke replied, looking at me inquisitively before turning back to Lincoln. “May I ask why?”

Lincoln nodded his head, “She would like to meet with the _Skaiheda_ to begin negotiations for peace.”

“Um, what,” Clarke looked at him in confusion.

I smirked, knowing she was asking about what he called her, “ _Skaiheda_ means Sky Commander, Clarke. That’s you.”

“Oh, I’m not—” she began to protest.

I interrupted her, “That _is_ you, Clarke. They don’t know about the Chancellor or the Council. And since you’ve been leading this camp, they see you as the leader of _Skaikru_. Sky People.”

Lincoln nodded in agreement, “ _Sha_. Yes. General Anya wants to speak with you, _Klark kom Skaikru_. In two days at a bridge not far from here. It will serve as a neutral territory. Is that agreeable?”

Clarke frowned as she looked between me, Wells, and Lincoln, “Um, can you give me a minute?”

Lincoln nodded, and Clarke grabbed Wells and me by the arm and dragged us away. Raven, of course, following.

“What the hell,” Clarke hissed after making sure Lincoln stayed where he was. “What the hell is going on?”

I snorted, smirking, “It’s obvious, Clarke. The Grounders have decided what they want to do with us. And it’s Peace. This is a good thing. Not only can we get permission to stay here, but we can also get their help in preparing for winter and surviving past that.”

“Is that what we want,” Clarke asked, looking uncertain.

“The camp did decide that we’re not rejoining the Ark,” Raven pointed out. “This is a logical step.”

“They’re right,” Wells said. “We need to have peace with the Grounders if we want to stay here, Clarke. And we could seriously use their help. They’ve lived here a lot longer than we have. I say we go to this meeting and make it happen.”

“What if it’s a trap,” Clarke argued.

“I doubt it,” I replied. “But, one of us can stay behind and make sure the camp’s protected. We _need_ this, Clarke.”

Clarke sighed and looked between, nodding, “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. If we’re to make it down here, we need peace with the Grounders. And who knows, maybe with them on our side, we can make sure that the Ark can’t take us.”

I smiled and nodded, “I can get behind that.”

“So can I,” Raven replied with a nod.

“Okay,” Clarke said, straightening and walked back to Lincoln. “Please let General Anya know that I look forward to our talk. And I hope that we can reach an agreement that allows us to live peacefully together.”

“I will tell her so,” Lincoln nodded.

“Are there terms,” Wells asked.

Lincoln nodded as I prepared to hear what kind of shit Anya was about to pull, “ _Skaiheda_ may be accompanied by two others to negotiate. Weapons will be not be permitted.”

Clarke glared at Lincoln, “That’s insane! We don’t know your people regardless if you’re friends with Harlee and Octavia. There’s no way we’re not going without protection.”

I glared down at the ground as I thought quickly. I knew that even if Clarke complied, Anya would not. This was meant to be a stall tactic and pretense of a peace meeting, not a chance for Anya to remove what she obviously thought was still a threat.

“Lincoln,” I spoke up, looking at him with deadly seriousness. “That is too much to ask of us. Tell her that we’ll bring weapons, but will refrain from bringing _fayagons_. That is more than reasonable.”

“Faya—” Clarke looked at me confused.

“Rifles,” I quickly supplied the answer. “There are a few that are proficient with bows and knives. Any people the General brings, I can almost guarantee will be similarly armed.”

“ _Harli_ is not wrong,” Lincoln spoke up, trying to ease Clarke’s fears.

Clarke looked between us and then nodded, “Alright. But I want to bring more people. Two people to accompany me and at least two to guard.”

Lincoln frowned, “I am not sure she will agree—”

“You know she will,” I interjected. “Since you told me that the Commander’s Shadow protects us.”

Lincoln blanched and nodded in agreement, “I will be sure to remind her of that. Are there any other changes to the terms, or are you satisfied, _Skaiheda_?”

Clarke looked at all of us before shaking her head, “No, I believe we’re good.”

Lincoln nodded and then bowed his head, “Then if there is nothing else, I will relay your agreement, _Skaiheda_. I will be back in two days at dawn to escort you to the bridge.”

“Alright. Thank you, Lincoln,” Clarke said and held out her arm again.

He took her forearm, “You are welcome, _Skaiheda_.”

“Lincoln, may I have a word with you. In private,” I spoke up, thinking ahead.

“ _Sha, Harli_ ,” Lincoln replied and stepped away.

I turned to the others, “Give me a minute. I think Octavia has dinner if you guys want to head back in.”

Raven took a hesitant step forward, “Are you sure?”

I smiled and moved to kiss her sweetly, “I’m sure. I’ll be right there. Promise. I just need to speak to him quick-like.”

“Okay, but you need to explain what this Commander’s Shadow is,” Raven complied, and everyone started walking to the gate.

“I will,” I promised.

I watched them for a minute before I walked back to Lincoln and then past. He followed me until I was sure we wouldn’t be overheard.

I smiled at my brother, “Mochof, for doing this, bigabro. And I’m sorry for dragging you into this without your permission.”

Lincoln smiled back, “You know I’d do anything for you, striksis. Plus, you made it so that I do not have to hide my training with Okteivia.”

I saw his face soften, and his eyes light up as he mentioned Octavia, “You love her, don’t you? Okteivia?”

Lincoln blushed and ducked his head, “Sha, I do.”

“I am happy for you, Linc,” I softly replied. “I am. But be careful. She’s only sixteen, and this is Okteivia’s first relationship.”

“Ai swega, Li,” Lincoln seriously replied.

I nodded and then sighed, “Listen, I know Onya’s not happy with this alliance. She doesn’t see what Leksa and I do. We _need_ Skaikru. Make sure Onya understands that if anything goes wrong on that bridge, I _will_ have her head and any that follow her. If any of her gonas won’t obey the no-kill and protection orders, they _need_ to stay in camp. This is too important to let pettiness and prejudices loose. Do you understand, Linkon?”

Lincoln nodded, “I do, Trikova. I will make sure Onya understands the consequences.”

I sighed, “Os. Now, I need to get back inside before they worry too much. And Linc, I promise when I have time, we’ll sit down and talk.”

“We don—”

“We _do_ , Linc,” I interrupted with a severe glare. “I let you mourn me when I wasn’t dead. That was wrong of me. Being here has made me realize that I need to start facing my past. Especially if I want the future, I see in my head. And if, once you learn everything, and you want it, I’d like to be in your life.”

“Li,” Lincoln softly replied, stepping close and placing a hand on my shoulder with a look of understanding in his eyes. “There is nothing you could say that would make me not want you in my life. Li, oso laik seingeda (Lee, we are family). Always.”

I swallowed the lump that had built in my throat and blinked back tears, nodding. I choked out, “I really hope that’s true, Linc. I need to go.”

Lincoln nodded, and after a reassuring squeeze of my shoulder, let go and stepped back. I smiled weakly at him and, without a word, turned and jogged back to and through the gate. Taking a steady breath, I quickly strode to my hut and everyone waiting inside. I mentally prepared myself for the planning that was about to take place and the reassurances I needed to give to soothe their worries. And hopefully, keep mine at bay for a little while longer.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, people. Here it is. Chapter 38. This is more of a prelude as everyone wakes up the day of the bridge meeting. It's mostly introspection and I switched to the third person, which will continue on in chapter 39. And chapter 39 is also being posted.
> 
> Well, anyway, enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

THIRD PERSON POV

Harlee was the first to wake in the early morning of the day everything would change. A slight breeze ruffled the ceiling of the hut making a soft rustling noise that did little to block the sounds of the forest beyond its walls. She listened to the peaceful sounds as she tried not to think the day would end in heartbreak. In the last two days, Harlee had realized that she loved Raven with an intensity that often stole her breath in odd moments. Though she and Raven were often on the same page in what they wanted in this relationship, Harlee had yet to say the words that were often left dripping on the tip of her tongue. The fear of rejection, no matter how minute, kept the words from passing her lips.

As Harlee gazed down at the slumbering form nestled safely in her arms, she knew that today was a day that she needed to take that leap of faith. She knew that no matter what happened, those three words needed to be said if only for her own sanity. But first, Harlee would show Raven how much she loved the girl the only way she knew how. With a gentleness that belied the strength and power that lay beneath her dusky skin, Harlee moved and began to wake Raven in the early morning darkness lovingly.

The night watch gazed up at the sky and knew it was time to wake Clarke. Jones ambled between the tents, shifting the weight of the rifle across his shoulder until it sat more comfortably. Coming to the blonde’s tent, Jones looked around before loudly clearing his throat. He waited and, upon hearing nothing, called out Clarke’s name. He rolled his eyes when he heard no response and realized he’d have to enter Clarke’s tent to wake the leader. Feeling nervous and trying to remain respectful, Jones parted the tent enough to allow his head inside.

The inside was dark but light enough that he could see a single lump underneath the blankets of the single cot inside. Jones called out to her again, a little more forcefully, and was rewarded with the lump shifting slightly. Encouraged, Jones took a step inside and a little louder called Clarke’s name. In the next instant, something hard collided with Jones’ face hard enough to throw him back out of the tent to land on his ass. He cried out and clutched his face in pain. Jones touched his face with a gentle hand, and feeling nothing broken or bleeding, decided it wasn’t worth getting another object thrown at him. He scrambled to his feet and keeping his head down, walked back over to his post. The blonde princess could get herself up for what she did to him.

Said blonde sat up, sleepily tried to figure out what woke her up. Not hearing anything out of the ordinary, she flopped back down and curled underneath the covers. Her sleepy mind telling her that whatever had disturbed her sleep wasn’t important, and since it was still dark, it was too early to care. Clarke fell back asleep, not realizing that one of her boots was sitting haphazardly just outside her tent. Her only thought was to sleep until the sun rose high in the sky. Her sleeping mind forgetting that she needed to be up to meet Lincoln at dawn.

Wells woke up to the sound of another member of the night watch calling his name. He stretched slow and long as his mind woke up. Sitting up, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. The blanket falling to his waist to reveal his naked muscled chest and a redhead still asleep beside him. As his mind began to function, Wells felt heat crawl across his chest as he remembered what happened last night. He looked beside him, surprised to find the girl still there and still entirely naked. Remembering Harlee’s advice, he shifted and laid back down, pulling the girl closer as he began to caress her body gently. Smiling as the girl responded to his touch, he woke her enough to let her know that he had to get up but that she was welcome to continue sleeping. The redhead responded by pulling him into a kiss in thanks before falling back asleep. 

Dopily smiling, he slid out underneath the blanket and turning the lantern on to it’s lowest setting, got dressed. When he was done, he grabbed his pack, turned off the lantern, and slipped out of the tent as quietly as he could. Stopping for a moment, Wells stretched more fully, feeling the slight soreness of muscles ease, and his body relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever. Walking to the gate and smiling to himself, Wells knew that at some point, he’d have to thank Harlee for her advice. If not for their talks, he knew he would’ve still been holding a torch for Clarke and missing the interest of other girls in the camp. Today was looking hopeful.

Outside the camp, Harlee’s Shadow Riders, and half of Anya’s three hundred gonas moved silently through the forest to surround the Skaikru camp. Anya’s gonas were finding themselves disconcerted by how silently the Riders moved. In their dark-colored armor, the Riders blended perfectly with the shadows among the forest. No one spoke, and the only sound was the occasional creak of leather or clink of metal adorning the Trikru gonas. It would be well before dawn by the time the combined force had the Skaikru camp surrounded. Those chosen to stay and operate the camp after Skaikru left, gathered along the back wall and settled in for the wait. Everyone eager to see what the infamous Trikova planned to do with the Skaikru and the Maunon.

Lincoln and Octavia were already awake in Lincoln’s cave and having a quiet breakfast. Since the moment Lincoln rescued Octavia from that ravine, they had grown closer. And with Bellamy no longer at the camp, Octavia felt no reason not to spend her nights with Lincoln. They spent their afternoons, training, and their nights talking. Octavia feeling a growing kinship with the Grounders the more she learned about them and falling deeper in love with the young man. 

As Lincoln walked hand in hand with Octavia, he thought back to when the sky fell and never in his wildest imagination would have thought his life would change so drastically. He had been enamored with the young woman the first moment he laid eyes on the petite brunette. Lincoln found himself drawn to the fiery energy that was barely contained within Octavia. The neverending joy as she experienced everything for the first time. And there was something in Octavia’s eyes that reminded Lincoln of his baby sister. One, he had felt guilt over leaving behind and thought dead except that she wasn’t dead. Lincoln had been shocked to find his sister alive and bearing the title Trikova, the most feared and hated gona in all the clans. He had been afraid when they met, but seeing that wolf he had carved so long ago in her hands and listening to her words, his fear had gone away. And he had been proud to help her in any way he could, even if it angered his superiors and clan leader. He had abandoned her once, and he wasn’t about to do it again. No matter what Harlee had done to survive to be here today.

And as dawn crested the horizon bringing with it its pastel colors, forces converged and greeted one another as the rickety gate of the Skaikru camp opened. Scouts and gonas hidden in the trees watched as a small group of young people stepped out to greet the two who had emerged from the forest. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed leader was stepping forward to greet the two warmly with a warrior’s handshake and smile. Next, a young man as dark in skin as the Trikru clan leader, Indra, stepped forward to greet the pair similarly. Two young Skaikru came along after, carrying bows and knives strapped to their thighs. The seriousness of the situation, making them stilted and nervous as their eyes flitted everywhere and hands hovered over their weapons. Lastly, two dark-haired women strode forward with hands entwined. The taller of two, if anyone looked close, bore a resemblance to the Trikru scout with hair as dark as night and eyes the same shade as the scouts. They greeted each other warmly as if old friends and not long-lost siblings.

But before Lincoln could lead the group to the bridge, Harlee pulled him to the side and gave him one last order. Whispered and in Trigedasleng, “ _Guard them well, Linkon kom Trikru_.”

“ _With my life, Trikova_ ,” came his whispered promise, as solemn and as serious as their shared eyes in the dawning light.

With a nod, Harlee stepped back, and Lincoln joined the group. With a gesture, the group started forward, filled with nervousness and hope. With several glances back, they watched as the lone figure of Harlee stood sentinel at the gate until they were out of sight. The moment Harlee turned around to the gate, a rippled went through the forest, and resting Riders and gonas straightened themselves and checked their weapons. Because now, time was ticking.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is. The bridge meeting. Things happen and Harlee gets pissed.
> 
> As a reminder, italics are being used when Skaikru are present but the speaker is using Trigedasleng.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

The group reached the bridge a little past midmorning. Miller and Harper walked around the area to ensure there weren’t any traps or hidden Grounders lying about in wait. Seeing that it was clear, Clarke strode forward to inspect the bridge, and Raven joined her. Testing the rails, and examining the structure, Raven was impressed that it still stood even after so much time had passed.

Joining Clarke by one of the rails, Raven leaned on the railing and looked out to admire the view. It really was beautiful. She could appreciate the aesthetic and understand why the Grounders were loathed to mar it with technology that could make their lives easier but leave waste behind.

Glancing at Clarke, Raven blurted out, “Harlee told me that she loved me.”

Clarke’s head snapped to look at Raven in surprise, “That’s—”

Raven shook her head, grimacing, “I couldn’t say it back. There was a part of me that wanted to, but a larger part thinks it’s too soon. We’ve barely known each other for two weeks, and there is so much that I don’t know about her. And after everything with Finn, I don’t know…”

Clarke nodded in understanding, “But you do care for her, right?”

“Yes,” Raven gripped the rail tightly and rocked a little, “More than I ever did with Finn. That’s what scares me, Clarke. With Finn, my feelings built up over years. But with Harlee, they were strong from the moment I met her and have only grown stronger. That’s impossible, right? It’s certainly not logical.”

Clarke shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know, Rae. Dad used to like to tell me stories that were filled with love at first sight and soulmates. And he used to tell me that the moment he saw Mom, he knew he was going to marry her. I used to chalk it up to Dad, keeping the myth of Love alive in a world that was all about survival at any cost. But seeing the two of you together and seeing the way Octavia and Lincoln are…maybe my dad wasn’t so crazy. Did Harlee say anything when you didn’t say it back?”

Raven shook her head, a smile playing on her lips, “Harlee said that she didn’t expect me to say it back. Even said that if I never said it or said that I didn’t love her, it wouldn’t change the way she felt. She’d still love me.”

“See that,” Clarke said, smiling and gesturing at Raven’s face. “That dopey little smile tells me that you love her.”

Raven blushed and playfully shoved Clarke, “Whatever, Blondie.” And then she turned more serious, “But this morning made me worried, too. There was something off about Harlee. I don’t know how to describe it, but it was more than simply nerves, you know? She just didn’t seem like her usual self.”

“Did you ask her about it,” Clarke asked, concerned.

Raven nodded and then sighed, “I did. All she would say was that after today, things would change. It’s almost…almost like she was talking about us. But she kept assuring me that we were good. So, I don’t know.”

Clarke looked thoughtfully out over the horizon, but she was caught off guard by a loud pounding drawing near. Clarke and Raven walked back to the group, Miller, and Harper taking up defensive positions to guard against attack.

The group, except for Lincoln, looked on in shock as a group emerged from the opposite side of the bridge. Anya and four warriors rode out of the forest and came to a stop just shy of the bridge. All five of them were heavily armed and armored.

“Oh my god,” Clarke breathed out in shock. “Are those… _horses_?”

“Fuck me,” Harper fearfully whispered. “They look like they want to kill us.”

Wells swallowed and took a steadying breath, “Lincoln, please tell us this is an intimidation tactic.”

Lincoln scowled at Anya before looking at the young man reassuringly, “ _Sha_. Yes, but they were not supposed to come so heavily armed.”

They watched as the lone woman in the group slid gracefully from her horse and began to stride forward. Clarke looked at everyone, trying to stomp down the fear she felt and gave them a reassuring look.

“It’ll be okay,” Clarke reassured them. “We haven’t done more than damage a portion of their land. We’ve hurt no one, so there’s no reason for them to attack us.”

“ _Skaiheda_ ,” Lincoln addressed Clarke. “General Anya will want to speak to you first, and then you may bring the others forward. Remember, keep your hands away from any weapon and be respectful. Bow your head a little in greeting and only refer to her as ‘General’ or ‘General Anya.’”

Clarke nodded and taking steading breaths walked forward to meet Anya already standing in the middle of the bridge. She felt small underneath the older woman’s scrutinizing gaze. Anya was wearing armor underneath a leather trench coat with fur lining the collar. Her dirty blonde hair held a few braids and was held in place by what looked like a crown of tree branches. Clarke could see multiple handles protruding from the coat and the end of what she could only assume to be a sword from the bottom. Anya’s hazel eyes appeared darker underneath a coat of warpaint, and her most defining feature was cheekbones that looked sharp enough to cut glass. The woman’s face was impassive, but Clarke got the feeling Anya didn’t want to be here speaking with them.

Clarke sighed, seeing that this was going to be more challenging than she thought. But she couldn’t let the woman’s frigid appearance stop her from doing what needed to be done. This wasn’t just for her or the group behind her. This was for everyone at the dropship. For the innocents on the Ark. This was about surviving peacefully.

Clarke finally reached Anya and stopped a few feet away to have an easy conversation. Anya stood silently, and Clarke wondered if she should initiate the conversation.

But Anya spoke first, “Your name is Clarke?”

Clarke nodded, “Yes.”

“I am Anya.”

“I am honored to meet you, Anya,” Clarke replied as she respectfully reclined her head. “I was glad to hear that you wished to begin negotiations for peace.”

Anya snorted derisively, “This decision was not mine. I wanted to wipe you out, but I was overruled.”

Clarke blinked at the woman’s bluntness, “Oh. May I ask why you feel that way?”

Anya looked Clarke up and down, judging her to be weak and still not seeing what Harlee and Lexa apparently did, replied, “You are invaders. You landed in _Trikru_ territory.”

Clarke nodded, “I apologize for that. Our people have long been taught that no one could have survived the bombs that destroyed the ground. It was naïve and shortsighted on our part.”

“Why after all this time have you decided to come down,” Anya demanded.

Clarke sighed, “Our home, the Ark, is dying. Unlike here, where there is plenty of air to breathe, the Ark makes its own, and it is now running out. We were sent down for two reasons. One, to find out if we can survive on the ground. That the air won’t kill us. And two, to allow what little air the Ark has to last longer.”

Anya nodded. It confirmed what Harlee had explained. “Lincoln tells me that there are more of you coming down, warriors.”

Clarke nodded, “Yes, but also doctors, farmers, and engineers. They will be arriving in two months.”

Anya frowned, just a quick downturn of her lips, “Can you promise that these new arrivals won’t attack us. That they will agree to the terms we set.”

Clarke looked off to the side for a moment, deciding if she should be upfront with the warrior woman. Thinking it would be better if she remained truthful, she replied, “It is something that we are working on. But I’m not here on behalf of the people on the Ark. I’m here to secure peace for the people that landed with me. The Hundred. _Those_ are my people.”

Anya looked taken aback but quickly squelched it down, “You would abandon the rest of your people?”

“General, our so-called leaders, sent us down here to die,” Clarke replied. “And it took me a while to accept that. The only reason we contacted them and remain in contact with them is to keep the innocents alive. We did our part and proved the ground is habitable. Now it’s time to look after the people who have chosen me to lead them. I have to do what’s right for them, and they don’t want to go back to the Ark.”

“What is it you hope to gain out of this alliance?”

“I am sure your scouts have told you, but we’ve barely survived since landing,” Clarke ruefully replied. “The things we were taught on the Ark are fairly useless here on the ground. If we want to survive winter, we need help. People who are willing to teach us how to survive. Enough supplies to get us through that awkward learning stage before we can make things on our own and begin paying it back. And if necessary, help to keep the Ark from forcefully taking us back.”

“What would we get in return,” Anya demanded.

“Based on what Lincoln has passed on to Octavia,” Clarke began, “we understand that the technology we are used to is no longer used, but there was still viable information and knowledge that was lost. The Ark kept that knowledge alive and passed it down. Healing, farming, engineering, maybe more. We may know ways to help save more lives, grow healthier crops, build machines that can make lives easier, and so on. I propose an exchange of information. Maybe once we grow stronger and find new talents, we’ll find new ways to prove our worth.”

The thundering of hooves interrupted their talks, and everyone turned to watch even as hands tightened on weapons. From the direction of the dropship, seven horses appeared carrying black-clad warriors with faces hidden and bodies bristling with weapons. In the lead was a huge black horse with red eyes carrying Harlee dressed in her formal attire. As one, the Shadow Riders drew to a halt.

Harlee dismounted gracefully from Hades and began striding purposefully forward. She was dressed all in black from her knee-high riding boots to the hood of her armored trench. Underneath her hood, the lower half of her face was covered by a black mask with built-in filters. A streak of black warpaint started from mid-forehead, over her left eye, and disappeared beneath the mask. Hidden by the shadows of the hood, Harlee also wore the crown symbol of her title between her eyes. As followers of the Old Norse religion, Trikovakru had chosen the Aegishjalmur, or the Helm of Awe, as the crown of the Trikova Heda.

As Harlee strode forward, her trench flared behind her to reveal long daggers strapped to each thigh, multiple small blades sheathed across her stomach, and strange holsters on either side of her chest. The trench hid the pair of hand axes that sat at the small of her back. Her hands were clothed in leather gloves that exposed the thumb and forefinger only. The sleeves of the trench also hid the vambraces that held hidden blades within. Harlee looked exactly what she was. Dangerous. And everyone watching felt a shiver of fear travel down their spine as she passed.

It was an odd moment when, for a second, Harlee locked eyes with Raven. Surely, Harlee thought, Raven would know who’s eyes were beneath the hood. But there was no sign of recognition. Only the widening of Raven’s eyes before she quickly ducked her head in fear. Sighing a little in disappointment and relief, Harlee continued to the middle of the bridge. 

Harlee had enough time to observe the warriors on the horses and the ones in the trees when the sound of an arrow being released reached her ears. Pulling a small, but powerful crossbow from inside her trench, Harlee pinpointed the sound and fired before the arrow impacted her armor near the shoulder. Her bolt hit the bowman in the neck, and he fell out of the tree, clutching at it.

Anya’s eyes widened in horror just as Harlee let out a roar and backhanded her. Anya fell to the ground, her face immediately bruising by the force and blood trickling out of her nose and mouth. Harlee bent and picked Anya up by her throat and brought her close. Clarke took a few steps back but was still too horrified to move further. The rest of Skaikru were being restrained by the Riders who had accompanied Harlee. More Riders appeared on the far side of the bridge and gathered up Anya’s warriors.

“ _What did I tell you would happen if **any** of you tried to harm Skaikru_,” Harlee asked, her voice going cold.

“ _Moba, H--_ “ Anya began to say, but Harlee squeezed her throat and cut off her breath. Harlee eased her grip enough for Anya to breathe but didn’t let go. “ _Tr-Trikova. Bosh Moba. They had strict orders not to fire unless I was threatened_.”

“ _You expect me to believe that your gonas as so incompetent that a girl gawking at **me** is seen as a threat to **you**_ ,” Harlee asked, incredulous.

Anya gestured at the arrow still sticking out of Harlee, “ _The arrow—_ ”

“ _Was meant for Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” Harlee interrupted. “ _Not me. It only struck me because I walked into its path. Do you take me for a fool, Onya_?”

“ _N-no, Trikova_ ,” Anya hastily replied.

“ _Do you think you know better than Heda or myself?_ ”

“ _No, Trikova._ ”

“ _Then why,_ ” Harlee asked and squeezed Anya’s throat for emphasis, “ _have you argued, ignored, and fought every order given you, Onya? Do not bother to answer. I do not want to hear of it. But you **will** have to answer Heda. That is the **only** reason you are still alive. As of now, you no longer have command of your gonas. You and your men report directly to Deke. Finish your mission, Onya._”

“ _Sha, Trikova_ ,” Anya choked out around Harlee’s tight grip of her throat.

Harlee relinquished her hold on Anya, and she crumbled to the ground before scrambling to her feet. Harlee spun on her heel to walk back to Hades but was stopped by Clarke stepping slightly in her path.

“I, I, can take care of that, um…” Clarke said, looking between Harlee and Anya, unsure if she was overstepping.

“ _Trikova_ ,” Harlee supplied and glad the mask muffled her voice. “ _Mochof_ , but unnecessary. On behalf of _Heda_ , we have an alliance, _Skaiheda_. My Riders and _Onya_ will escort you back to your camp. My Second in Command, Deke, will explain what happens next. If you will excuse me, I must leave, but I look forward to meeting with you to discuss your future among the clans. Until then.”

Harlee didn’t wait for an answer before she was walking across the bridge. With little effort, she mounted before looking at Deke and saying, “ _Onya’s men are now under your command, Deke. Make sure there are no more mistakes and have Onya report to me once Skaikru is at their new campsite._ ”

Deke bowed his head, “ _Sha, Wocha._ ”

Harlee nodded and nudged Hades with her heel. He started forward to cross the bridge with a single Rider following. By the time they reached the far side of the bridge, Clarke was back with the group and immediately started whispering among themselves as they tried to figure out what just happened. 

Deke dismounted and approached the group of Skaikru. They immediately silenced as his huge frame registered to them.

Deke bowed his head at Clarke, “I am Deke, _Skaiheda_. If you and your people are ready, my Riders and I will escort you back to your camp.”

Clarke eyed Deke and the rest of his group warily before asking, “Um, Tree-, um, your leader said that you would explain what happens next, um, Deke. What did she mean?”

Deke nodded and replied, “It is simple. _Trikova_ has arranged to move your people further away from the _Maun-de_ and closer to a _Trikru_ village. This is for your safety, and it allows your people a chance to find a trade more suitable to their liking. It is there that official negotiations will begin.”

“Thank you, Deke,” Clarke said as she looked around. “I guess we’re ready to go.”

“It will be faster if you rode with us,” Deke said, gesturing to the Riders.

“You want us to get on those _things_ ,” Raven exclaimed and took a nervous step back.

Deke smiled, “Do not worry, _strik sora_. My Riders will allow no harm to come to you, and the ride will be gentle.”

“ _Can we hurry this along_ ,” Anya spoke up, already on her horse and scowling at the Skaikru.

“ _Know your place, Onya_ ,” Deke growled, turning his head to glare at the woman. “ _You are in enough trouble as it is. You are lucky Wocha is loyal to Heda, or else you would be dead. Get your men moving to the Skaikru camp. We will catch up shortly._ ”

Anya growled in annoyance but motioned her men forward. They trudged silently passed, having to walk around the horses because none of the Riders bothered to move out of the way.

“Boy, is she pissed,” Raven said once Anya was clearly out of earshot. “What crawled up her ass?”

“Do not worry, _strik sora_ ,” Deke said and motioned for them to move closer to the horses. “But, please, _Wocha_ wants you at your new camp before sunset.”

Clarke nodded and started to the Riders. The rest followed warily behind. Clarke was mounted on Deke’s horse, Raven behind Avil, and the rest where they could. Once everyone had settled, the new group headed at an easy gait to catch up with Anya’s group. The members of Skaikru too busy figuring out how to ride a horse to talk, but it did not stop their minds from going over their new situation. In less than a day, they had gotten an alliance and a new home. Some of them couldn’t help but think that it had been achieved maybe just a little too quickly.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. Next up will be back to first person POV and Harlee. And yes, yes, she did leave the arrow sticking out of her shoulder as she rode away. 
> 
> So enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.
> 
> And FYI it is fucking HOT in Texas right now. I hate triple digit August. Like, worst month EVER. Just sayin'.

The ride back to the dropship was silent except for the plodding of the horses' hooves and the movements of Trikru armor. Clarke is brought out of her reverie as they pass a pair of trees that had somehow grown entwined. Recognizing the pair, she knows they’re less than a quarter-mile away from the dropship and should see it in the next hundred feet or so.

“Deke,” Clarke calls to grab the huge man’s attention.

“ _Sha, Skaiheda_ ,” Deke replied, turning his head slightly to let her know he’s listening.

“I think we should stop here,” Clarke said, glancing at Wells and Raven behind their Riders.

Wells peers around his ride and sees the familiar territory and nodded back at Clarke in agreement.

“On your command, _Skaiheda_ ,” Deke replied and whistled sharply.

The group comes to a halt. Deke shifts in the saddle to gaze at Clarke expectantly for an explanation.

Clarke cleared her throat not used to the Grounders’ way of scrutinizing stares, “We’re about a quarter-mile from the dropship. It would be best if we continued on foot, and one or two of you accompany us inside. Until two days ago, when Lincoln appeared, we’d never seen Grounders before. If the watch sees the group of you in full armor, they’ll most likely panic, and people could get hurt.”

“Very reasonable,” Deke agreed as Anya scoffed derisively.

Clarke nodded, “If the majority of you stay back, and as I said, a couple of you accompany us inside, it should help alleviate any fear. Or at least lessen it. Wells and I will then explain about the alliance and the move. There will probably be questions, but we’ll try to keep them to a minimum and get them packing.”

“What about the radio, Clarke,” Raven spoke up. “I don’t exactly have anything to pack it into that will keep it safe.”

Deke spoke up then, “We had anticipated that you might have equipment that you might want to take with you. There is something I must confess with you, _Skaiheda_. Two hundred _gonas_ , warriors, surround your camp. Again, this was planned by the _Wocha_ to prevent any rogue clan members, _Maunon_ , or _Ripas_ from taking this opportunity to attack your people while you were gone. Also, in anticipation, she has procured several wagons and empty crates to allow sensitive equipment or injured people to be transported to your new campsite.”

“ _Nothing but a joken waste_ ,” Anya grumbled, scowling darkly at everyone.

Deke ignored Anya as Clarke exclaimed, “What the hell?! Just who the hell is this woman?”

Deke grinned, his teeth gleaming white beneath his hood, “Someone who worked very hard to convince _Heda_ to agree to this alliance, _Skaiheda. Wocha_ has worked tirelessly to make sure that you are given a chance to make a life among us. She is also one of those that plan to make difficult situations go as smoothly as possible.”

“It sounds like we owe her a huge debt of gratitude,” Wells said. “Well, if we want to get to this new site before sunset, we should probably get going. Don’t you think so, Clarke?”

Clarke sighed and then nodded, “Yeah. Let’s get going. But, um, first, how do we get down?”

Deke chuckled and dismounted first to help Clarke down. He held her until Clarke’s legs felt steady beneath her. The moment Clarke tried to take a step, her legs nearly buckled, but Deke caught her easily. She flushed in embarrassment but didn’t feel as bad when the rest had the same trouble as she did.

“If it’s alright with you,” Miller spoke up. “I think I’ll walk to the campsite or hitch a ride on a wagon.”

A ripple of quiet laughter rang out through the warriors as they remembered their first time on horses.

“Depending on what needs to be placed on the wagons, I do not see the harm,” Deke said, smiling. “If you are agreeable, _Skaiheda, Onya_ , and I will accompany your group inside.”

“Thank you. That would be great,” Clarke replied.

With a nod, Deke handed the reins over to a waiting Rider, and Anya begrudgingly dismounted. Walking slowly to ease the ache of sore muscles, the group trudged forward, and a bit later, the gate came into view. It was still a few more minutes before the watch made out the group and started calling out into the camp. By the time they reached the gates, they were already opened, and a crowd had gathered.

Stepping forward with Wells, Clarke explained how the meeting went and that they now had an alliance. That news was received well, but not that they were now being moved from a place they were starting to consider home. Clarke introduced Deke and Anya and allowed a few questions to be asked. While that was going on, Raven slipped through the crowd looking for Harlee.

Raven had anticipated that Harlee would have been one of the first people to greet them as they returned, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, Harlee’s absence was a shock to the Latina, and she felt worry and fear build in her chest. The first chance she had to slip away, Raven did and headed immediately to Harlee’s hut.

Pulling the curtain away from the entrance, Raven was greeted not by Harlee but rather an empty room. Not empty as in void of people, but empty as in void of anything. There were remnants of last night’s fire in the firepit, and the bedroll and blanket rolled up in a corner, but that was it. None of the little things that had somehow accumulated over time were present. No pieces of wood in various stages of whittling. No waterskins hanging off the small shelves. There was nothing.

Devastated and confused, Raven went to walk out when her eyes caught a light-colored piece of wood. An object sat on a shelf eye-height and next to the curtained entrance. Walking hesitantly towards it, she reached up to trace the wooden figure. It was a wolf with a pair of ravens sitting on its shoulders. Raven picked it up and noticed how incredibly detailed it was. But what struck her the most was the odd symbol etched in the middle of the wolf’s forehead. Raven knew the figurine was significant, and there was a meaning behind it, but she couldn’t begin to fathom what it all meant. All she knew was that it was the only thing left in Harlee’s hut. Almost as if it were explicitly meant for her to find.

Taking one last look around and seeing nothing, Raven left the hut to continue her search for Harlee. She looked everywhere for the taller girl, even going as far as heading out to the clearing they had visited several times after their first talk. Harlee was nowhere to be found, and Raven was really beginning to worry.

Clarke found Raven doing one more round through the tents and stopped her, “There you are, Raven. I’ve been looking for you. The Grounders have brought some crates for the radio an—” -she noticed Raven’s distraught face- “Hey, is everything okay? What’s wrong, Rae?”

Raven blinked back tears that threatened to fall and took a shuddering breath, “I can’t find her, Clarke. I’ve looked everywhere for her. And, and everything’s been cleared out. She wouldn’t just _leave_. I know she wouldn’t. What if—what if something happened? What if—”

Clarke grabbed Raven’s shoulders to stop the Latina from rambling, “Whoa, Rae. Take a breath. Who can’t you find?”

“Harlee,” Raven cried out in exasperation. “I can’t find Harlee, Clarke! She wasn’t at the gate when we came in, and you _know_ she would have been there. Her hut’s been emptied except for this stupid wolf figure.” -holding the figurine up- “No one’s seen her since she organized the watches. And that was hours ago. I’ve looked everywhere. Even the clearing we go to sometimes. Clarke, Harlee’s missing!”

Clarke bit her lip in thought and then nodded before taking Raven’s hand and heading toward the gate, “Okay. I think we need to talk to Deke. He said that his people have had the camp surrounded since dawn. If anyone’s seen Harlee leave, it’s a pretty safe bet one of them did. We’ll ask him to ask his people if they’ve seen her, okay?”

Raven mutely nodded, on the verge of a full breakdown, and holding on with the barest of threads. Clarke kept a firm grip on Raven’s hand as they moved through the chaos of the camp being broken down. As they came through the last tents, Clarke spied Deke at the entrance directing his men as they helped the teens load things onto several wagons. She put on a burst of speed with Raven helplessly tugged behind.

“Deke,” Clarke yelled out to grab the man’s attention.

Deke looked up from where he was instructing a gona and saw Clarke and Raven quickly making their way to him. Deke knew of Harlee’s relationship with Raven, and seeing the look on Raven’s face; he had a good idea of why they were making their way to him. So, he quickly finished his instructions and moved to them.

Bowing his head, “ _Skaiheda_ , is something amiss?”

“You can say that,” Clarke worriedly replied. “One of our people is missing. Raven’s girlfriend, Harlee. No one’s seen her for hours, and she’s not in any of her usual places. And her hut’s been cleared out. Can you see if any of your men saw her leaving the camp?”

Feigning concern, Deke asked, “Is there a direction this Harlee would have left camp?”

Clarke nodded, “Yeah, she usually likes to leave out of the backside of camp. Near her hut.”

Deke nodded and grabbed one of his Riders. Making sure to speak in Trigedasleng, he told them to run to the back and see if the group that would remain were ready to move-in the moment Skaikru left. The young Rider nodded and took off running.

Turning back to Clarke and Raven, Deke said, “The Rider will check with the scouts that are in the woods back that way. It will take more than a few minutes for him to return. If you wish, I will come find you once I have word.”

Clarke turned to Raven, “Rae? Will that work because, and as much as I hate to say this but, we need you to start taking the radio apart?”

Raven blinked a few times as she tried to organize her thoughts into something cohesive instead of the current frenzy. When she felt some semblance of control, she cleared her throat and nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, that’ll work. But please, the moment you know, come find me in the dropship.”

Deke nodded, his face softening, seeing the distress Raven was clearly trying to hide, “Of course, _strik sora_. When my Rider returns, I will head there immediately.”

“Thank you,” Raven replied, and with a reassuring pat on Clarke’s arm, headed to the dropship.

If nothing else, the distraction would help Raven keep the worst scenarios from running rampant through her mind.

“Thank you, Deke,” Clarke said, smiling a little unsure. “I need to go and make sure everything else is getting packed up.”

Deke bowed his head, “Of course, _Skaiheda_. I am sure that the Rider will bring news of your friend.”

Clarke nodded and turned back to the chaos of the camp. Deke shook his head at Harlee’s tactless exit. He hoped that once Raven found out the truth, that Harlee could earn the girl’s forgiveness. If she didn’t, Deke didn’t know if Harlee would ever recover. But it was the price you might pay when you give someone your heart as the two young women had. 

Roughly fifteen minutes later, Deke walked up the ramp leading to the interior of the dropship. Moving the curtain aside, he saw Raven working on disconnecting the various parts of the radio. Careful to make sure his steps were heard, Deke walked over to the brunette and cleared his throat.

Raven jumped slightly at the sound, having been absorbed in her work. She glanced up, and seeing that it was the big Grounder that had been helping them, she straightened and looked at him expectantly.

Deke bowed his head, “ _Reivon_ , my Rider reports that someone left through the back of your camp shortly after your group left for the bridge. A female with hair as black as night done in a single braid down her back and wearing dark clothes. She had a small pack, quiver, and bow.”

Raven took a single step forward and asked, “Was she tall with skin the same color as Lincoln and muscular?”

Deke nodded, “ _Sha_.”

“That’s Harlee,” Raven excitedly replied. “Was she followed by one of the scouts like usual?”

“A Rider intercepted her and told her of the alliance and the move,” Deke explained. “She asked to be taken to the campsite, but since no one would be there, the Rider suggested our own camp for the time being. She agreed, and they headed in that direction.”

Raven felt relief flood her system and she nearly collapsed, but grasped the table to stay upright, “Thank, fuck. But I don’t understand why she wouldn’t just come back and wait for us. Did Harlee say anything? Ask to have a message passed on or anything like that?”

Deke nodded and replied, “She asked to relay a message to you, _Reivon_. That she was sorry for not being here, but she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet with more of my people. And something about leaving a surprise for you.”

“That must’ve been the figurine I found,” Raven mumbled and then smiled at Deke, “Thank you for telling me, Deke. I am seriously going to have a talk with that woman when I see her. Fucking scaring me like that. Of all the fucking things to do…anyway, thank you again. I appreciate it.”

Deke smiled at the fiery brunette, “If this Harlee is anything like my _houmon_ , my spouse, I understand your worries and fears, _Reivon kom Skaikru_. She is lucky to have someone care about her so.”

Raven blushed, “Um, thank you. I think? Anyway, I better get this radio dismantled and put away before Blondie comes back asking how much longer. For someone who claims not to be bossy, Clarke is really bossy.”

Deke laughed, and Raven grinned, “I am glad that I could help ease your worries, _strik sora_. And now, I will let you get back to work.”

“Deke,” Raven called out, making him pause and look back at her. “What do you keep calling me?”

Deke smiled, “ _Strik sora_. It means little bird. Because of your name, _Reivon_.”

Raven smiled back and nodded, “I kinda like that. Okay, thanks. You can go now.”

Deke bowed his head and walked out of the dropship. Raven sighed, and her smile faded away as she started mentally cursing out Harlee for scaring her like she did. And oh, was she going to get an earful when Raven saw Harlee; she was going to wish she was deaf. Yeah, Raven thought to herself, Harlee was in serious trouble for leaving and not letting anyone know. And the scouts in the trees didn’t count. Still grumbling and planning what she was going to do to Harlee, Raven got back to work dismantling the radio.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your dose, my awesome people. Chapter 41. And guess what? Y'all get the return of a character. Who shall it be, hmm? You'll have to read to find out.
> 
> So, enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

HARLEE POV

I rode into the Riders’ camp with Thor directly behind me after a couple of hours. I was still angry at what I was sure was Anya’s incompetence. But then again, Anya and I had a contentious relationship, to begin with. It’s possible she simply ignored my orders and trusted that her warriors would obey Heda’s protection order. Either way, it didn’t excuse what happened. I still had an arrow sticking out of my shoulder, and now my left arm was numb from it.

We rode directly to the paddock, where two Riders were minding the horses. They jumped immediately into action seeing me and were waiting by the time we halted.

Dismounting, I told them, “I need one of you to fetch Ben to my tent.”

“Sha, Wocha,” they replied in unison, and one of them took off as the other grabbed both reins.

“Mochof,” I said and then. “Thor, on me.”

“Sha, Wocha,” Thor replied and followed me as I moved deeper into the camp.

A few minutes later, I was removing my hood and sitting down at the table. I sighed and looked down at the arrow, still sticking out of me. I reached up to touch it gingerly but when I felt a flash of pain, I stopped and dropped my hand.

Looking at Thor and grimacing, “I have no clue if it’s stuck in the armor or my shoulder, Thor. So, let’s treat this as any arrow wound.”

“Right, boss,” Thor replied and stepped up to me.

Grasping the arrow firmly as close to my body as he could, Thor than snapped the shaft in half. There was pain before I lost all feeling again. Thor stepped back, and I stood up so that he could start easing my coat off. It wasn’t as easy as it looked because we had to be careful not to jostle the arrow. By the time we were done, Ben had arrived and took over.

“What happened this time,” Ben asked as he began examining my shoulder.

“Joken Trikru,” I grumbled. “Onya had people in the trees on our side of the bridge. One of them thought to take out Klark while she was distracted by my appearance. I unwittingly walked into the path of the arrow. The gona is dead, and Onya will be dealt with.”

Ben tsked and said, “Well, the armor did its job and stopped the arrow, but it deflected it to the strap. It’s in your shoulder.”

“Jok,” I cursed and then sighed. “Alright. Thor help Ben get me out of my armor and take it to get repaired. Then get some Riders and have them prepare me a bath, beja.”

Thor held up a finger and stepped to the tent flap. He stuck his head outside and sent one of the guards outside to send a bath for me. Then he came up to my other side and started unbuckling my armor while Ben held it in place so it wouldn’t move the arrow. They got it off easily enough, and then Thor continued to remove my vambraces and neck guard while Ben cut my shirt off me. I internally whined at the loss of another shirt but otherwise sat still while they worked.

Now, that the wound was exposed, Ben took a closer look at it, “What’s your pain level, Lee?”

“I get flashes of pain when it’s jostled, but otherwise, everything from my shoulder down is numb. Not even tingles,” I replied, looking down at the wound.

“It appears to be a typical Trikru arrow,” Ben mused. “Broad, two-bladed arrowhead. It doesn’t look like it traveled far, but it is a little concerning that you’ve lost feeling. Hopefully, the tip is just pressing against the nerve, and once it’s removed, the feeling will return.”

“Let’s hope,” I replied frowning. “If not, Katrin is going to have a field day designing new armor for me. I’m not sure I want to put up with her crazy ideas again.”

Ben smirked, “I don’t know, Lee. Some of them aren’t too bad.”

I arched a brow at him, “Really? Do you remember when she tried to bring back that lantern shield contraption? Katrin stuck so many things on that buckler that it made it too awkward to use in a fight.”

Ben snorted as he pulled out a scalpel and a cauterizing knife, “Oh, yes. I remember, and she was so proud of it too. Alright, Lee. I need to enlarge the wound to pull the arrow out. You good to go?”

I sighed, “Do what you have to do, Ben. It’s just one more scar.”

Ben paused at the tone of my voice. I knew I sounded defeated, but what was one more scar on a body riddled with them. What was one more scar now that I was forced to face my lies. At least I will heal from this one.

I glanced at him and gave him a weak smile, “Sorry. I am anticipating having my heart torn from my chest.”

“Well, knock it off, Lee,” Ben said in exasperation as he cut into me. “You always were one for dramatics. Yes, she is probably going to be pissed once she knows, but give her some credit, Lee. If the girl’s as smart as you say she is, she’ll understand the necessity of the lie. Imagine if that boy, Belomi, had known who and what you are.”

“He’d been dead before he could touch me again,” I replied with a sneer.

“And skrish would have gone downhill from there,” Ben said and laid a hand on my shoulder to hold me still. “Take a breath and relax, Lee.”

I did and only let out a grunt as he pulled the arrow from me. He held it up for inspection and then brought the tip to his tongue, testing it for poison.

“Not poisoned,” Ben said, tossing the broken arrow onto the table and grabbing a clean rag to press against the now bleeding wound. “Your arm?”

I looked down as I flexed my hand, “Still can’t feel it, but at least I haven’t lost movement.”

“We’ll give it some time before we make any conclusions,” Ben said, keeping pressure on the wound. “Now, let’s get you in that bath so you can finally be presentable.”

“Hey,” I huffed out indignantly and took over holding the rag. “I’m not some sloven playing at dress-up.”

“That’s debatable,” he replied with a smirk. “You’ve been gone weeks. Who knows what habits you’ve picked up from those children.”

I was about to protest but then thought better of it, “I wasn’t gone long enough to form new habits, Ben.”

“We’ll see,” Ben slyly replied as we moved to the waiting bath.

Ben helped me undress and climb into the tub. I let out a sigh of relief as the heat from the water eased sore muscles. Ben stepped out, and a female Rider by the name of Brigid came in. She helped me bathe and wash my hair so that I wouldn’t worsen the wound that had finally clotted. Then proceeded to braid my hair in my traditional style while I continued to soak in the tub. When she was done, Ben came back and she left. Trading places so that Ben could finish treating my shoulder. But I let out a groan when I saw that he also had a sling for my arm in his hands.

“Don’t start, Lee,” Ben admonished me. “We don’t need you doing any more damage to those muscles than the arrow caused. You’ll wear the sling unless you want your arm fully immobilized.”

“Fine,” I relented and let him do what he needed to do.

The smell of burning human flesh is never a pleasant one, and Ben would have preferred to have stitched the wound close, but we didn’t know what was going to happen in the days to come. I needed to be prepared for anything, including battle.

When all was said and done, I was dressed in soft leather pants, calf-length boots that I could easily remove, chest binding, and a black tank top with my left arm in the sling. Walking back into the central part of the tent, I saw a platter of food and pitcher were laid on the table along with a stack of reports. I groaned, seeing the size of the pile, making Ben laugh. I flipped him off as I settled back at the table, fixing myself a drink before delving into the stack of reports.

I was nearly done with the stack, and the food was long gone when Thor stepped back inside the tent. I looked up as his shadow fell across the table.

“What is it, Thor,” I asked, blinking to focus on him.

“There’s someone eager to see you, boss,” Thor said with a grin.

Tilting my head, curiously, “Who?”

Grinning wider, he turned to his side and motioned someone outside to come in. I smiled wide as Charlotte entered with Artemis behind her. I stood up and walked over to the two.

“ _Sharlot_ , Artemis,” I said, greeting both warmly. “This is a pleasant surprise.”

“Someone’s been anxious to see you once she heard you were in camp,” Artemis warmly said as we greeted each other.

“Oh my god, you’re hurt,” exclaimed Charlotte, and she took a step forward and reached up like she wanted to touch my arm.

I smiled at her concern, “It is fine, _strikon_. A minor wound that will heal in a few days. This is just to keep me from using my arm.”

“Yes, Lee is not one to listen to her _fisas_ when they tell her to let her body heal,” Artemis grinned and making me roll my eyes. “Ben threatened to tie your arm down, didn’t he?”

“ _Shof op_ ,” I huffed. “And it’s not my fault that we are usually in the middle of a war.”

“Well, we are not at war now so, you have no excuse,” Artemis retorted and ushered Charlotte into the private half of my tent.

I followed, continuing to bicker with the _mensfisa_ , “Yet, Arty. We are not at war, _yet_. With this alliance, I might finally have the missing pieces to bring _Maun-de_ down.”

“Alliance,” Charlotte asked after sitting in a chair Artemis had guided her too.

Artemis sat in another, and I sat in a third before answering, “Yes, _Sharlot. Heda_ has agreed to an alliance with your people at the dropship. However, thanks to a couple of _branwodas_ , the negotiations will have to wait until _Heda_ can make her way here. That may well be a good thing since it will allow _Klark_ and the others to adjust to their new home.”

“New home,” Charlotte confusedly asked.

I smiled, “ _Sha, Sharlot_. Over the rise to our south will be their new home for the foreseeable future. I wanted a safe way to expose our culture to _Skaikru_ and also allow them the opportunity to find something they want to learn.”

“Like Artemis and Tris have been showing me,” Charlotte said in understanding.

My smile widened, “ _Sha_. Plus, it also moves _Skaikru_ further away from the dangers of _Maun-de_. Until your people learn how to defend themselves, the distance will act as a buffer with trained _gonas_ between.”

Charlotte frowned, “You seem to be doing a lot for us. Are they going to do anything in return?”

I looked at the girl, impressed by her insight, “That still needs to be discussed, but there will be a trade. Right now, I anticipate an exchange of knowledge and some cross-training. But that is not something you need to worry about, _strikon_.” I leaned forward a bit and said, “What I want to know now, _Sharlot_ , is how you have been? Have you been treated well by my Riders? By _Trikru_?”

“Y-you really want to know about how I’m doing,” Charlotte asked, surprised by my interest.

I smiled and leaned back in my chair, “Of course, _strikon_. I didn’t just pluck you from the _Skaikru_ camp to bring you here and forget about you. It wasn’t just because I felt sorry or pity for what happened to you either. I want to know because I genuinely care, _Sharlot_. So, beja, how are you?”

Glancing at Artemis to make sure I wasn’t lying, Charlotte turned her attention back to me. After a few hesitant words and encouragement from both myself and Artemis, Charlotte began telling me everything. From dealing with Mary’s harassment to her hesitance to learn how to defend herself. I listened with rapt attention, and before we knew it, the afternoon had slipped away. We didn’t come out of our bubble until a messenger came and whispered Skaikru’s arrival in my ear.

When he left, Charlotte asked, “Is everything okay?”

“ _Sha_ ,” I replied. “Everything is fine, _strikon_. Just some news I was expecting. I believe you were telling me that you have been spending time with Tondc’s stablemaster. Is that something you think you might want to pursue?”

“Maybe,” Charlotte replied, and we delved into the different breeds that were around now, and the care it took to keep them healthy. From there, we turned to different career paths that had piqued Charlotte’s interest.

A couple of hours later, I heard a small commotion on the other side of the tent but didn’t think much of it when the smell of dinner wafted through the partition. But I froze mid-speech the moment I heard a voice that I had been dreading all day.

“Well, where the hell is Harlee,” Raven angrily demanded.

_Jok._


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was a difficult chapter to write. I played around with different POVs and having different characters in the scene. Then I felt like I was giving out too much information. Things just weren't working. Then this came out and it fits without becoming inundated with trivial information.
> 
> And while I was floundering on the chapter, I watched episodes 6, 7, and 8 of season 7 of the 100. Even after this many episodes, I still have no clue how Sheidheda ended up where he is. But episode 8, the backdoor episode to a spin-off...that got me interested enough that I'd watch at least the first season. I also finished watching the Old Guard. Good movie and I hope they do make a sequel. 
> 
> Okay, enough chatter. Here's Chapter 42. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

I felt a momentary flash of panic as dread began to fill the pit of my stomach. Though hope still clung to the edges that by the end of the night, Raven would be in my arms, and I would be forgiven. It was more like wishful thinking, but it unlocked muscles and let years of training and memory take over. I took a slow and deep breath and stood to face the woman I love. A woman who could literally blow me up if I had angered her enough. I prayed to the Gods that I hadn’t.

“Harlee,” Charlotte called from beside me, having stood up when I did. “Who is that, and why does she sound pissed?”

“That would be my _niron, Sharlot_ ,” I replied. “She is angry because I made her so.”

“Well, why’d you go and do that,” Charlotte asked, looking between me and the partition.

“Oh, many reasons,” I said, looking down at her. “But mainly because I was selfish and afraid.”

“Then you probably deserve it,” Charlotte said matter-of-factly.

I choked down a laugh and cleared my throat, “ _Sha_ , you are probably right. Well, let’s get the two of you out of here so that I can attempt to make amends.”

“Can I see you if you’re still alive in the morning,” Charlotte asked, dead serious.

I grinned, “You may, _Sharlot_. We should go before I make her any angrier than she already is.”

“That would be good,” Charlotte said, and grabbing my hand, tugged me forward.

We stepped through the partition with Artemis behind us. The moment Raven saw us, her mouth snapped shut and looked at us in confusion.

Charlotte, with her new-found confidence, spoke up as she tugged me to the tent flap that led outside, “Hi. I’m Charlotte. You can yell at Harlee in a minute. She’s just walking us out.”

“Um, okay,” Raven said, looking even more confused.

We stopped by the entrance, and Charlotte hugged me before stepping back and not able to resist, said, “Oh, and could you not kill Harlee. Her people love her and kind of need her. She’s kinda a big deal around here. Okay, bye now.”

“ _I will talk with her_ ,” Artemis whispered in my ear, but I felt the smirk on her face.

“ _Don’t_ ,” I whispered back. “ _This is as much progress as her wanting to see me when she heard I was back. Whatever you are doing, beja, keep doing it._ ”

“ _Very well_ ,” Artemis said, taking Charlotte’s hand. “We will see you in the morning, _Wocha_.”

I nodded, and they left. I turned to face Raven, taking a few steps towards the food-ladened table.

“Cute kid,” Raven said. “Who was that?”

I glanced at the tent flap before returning my gaze to Raven, “That was Charlotte. The girl Clarke’s been worried about. And Artemis. She helps children who have suffered traumatic experiences. I asked to have a mind healer sent here to help Charlotte work through watching her parents’ execution.”

“You’re full of secrets, aren’t you,” Raven said, staring at me.

I sighed and nodded, “More than you know. In a way, I am glad that it is just the two of us right now.”

“Are you,” Raven asked, crossing her arms across her chest and lifting her chin in challenge.

“Yes,” I replied, stepping closer to her but keeping a respectful distance. “You deserve to hear the truth first. I thought about telling you who I was once I received word that _Heda_ wanted an alliance with _Skaikru_ , but I was afraid. This conversation, right here, is what I was afraid of, and so I was selfish and kept the truth hidden. Just to have a few more days of happiness with you.”

“You really expect me to believe that,” Raven retorted.

“That is up to you, Raven,” I replied, turning to the table and pouring two cups of wine. I slid one closer to Raven and took the other as my own. After taking a sip, I continued, “Why are you mad at me, Raven?”

“You infiltrated us, Harlee,” Raven angrily bit out. “Who knows what lies you spouted just to fit in with us. What lies you said to make us trust you and spill our secrets.”

“You think I betrayed your trust,” I said, glancing at her as I moved around the table and started plucking bits of food and eating it.

“You did!”

“To betray someone’s trust infers that what was done was done out of maliciousness to harm said person,” I said. “Has there been anything I said or did that harmed you or any member of _Skaikru_? Excluding Finn and Bellamy. Do think before you answer, Raven.”

“I,” Raven began to say, but a sharp glance from me silenced her. She moved closer to the table and lifted the cup I had poured for her, sniffing it briefly before taking a sip. “No, you didn’t do or say anything harmful. But you led us to believe that you were from the Ark.”

“I did,” I agreed. “When someone is tasked with infiltrating an enemy force or even an unknown group to gather information, they need to have a cover story. Something believable. The best cover story is built on truth. The infiltrator’s truth. The less you have to make up, the better. I did kill my parents when I was only four. And I have spent my fair share of time in prison cells, both with others and in solitary. But it takes more than a believable cover story to fit in, doesn’t it?”

“I suppose,” Raven grumbled.

“Let me ask you something, Raven,” I said, and she glanced at me. “On the _surface_ , does it appear that any one of my people could pass for a member of _Skaikru_?”

“No,” Raven replied.

“Well, why not,” I asked, perching a hip against the table, and looking at her expectantly.

“The obvious is size,” Raven said, glancing at the tent flap. “Even your smallest person is built like a brick house. Everyone I’ve seen walks around like they could easily snap one of us in two. Two, there is the language. Even when I’ve heard your people speak English, they have accents and don’t speak like we do. And three, it doesn’t appear that your people live with the level of technology we do. Or would even know what a grounding wire is.”

I smirked, “And you would be right in describing most members of the _Kongeda_. Now, would you say that I fit those assumptions?”

Raven frowned, “No. Outside of a bit of archaic speech patterns, you were able to fit in perfectly. How is that possible? I mean, you were born on the ground, right?”

I chuckled, “Yes, I was. Not three days southwest of here. As to how I can’t tell you. Not without demanding a blood oath never to reveal what I tell or show you. It’s a tightly guarded secret that only three others outside my Riders know.”

“And these three people swore blood oaths to learn your secret,” Raven said in disbelief.

I nodded and drained my cup, “They did. Now that we have that established. Raven, why are you mad at me?”

Raven let out a loud groan, throwing her head back in frustration, and then started to pace. I let her be as I continued to pick at the food on the table. She suddenly stopped and then stormed around the table to within a few feet of me. I looked at her as she studied me for a long moment.

“Did you lie when you said you loved me,” Raven quietly asked.

I shook my head, “No. I have never lied about how I felt about you, Raven.”

“Then why didn’t you trust me with the truth,” Raven asked, her voice breaking.

I sadly smiled at her, “I thought about it. And over the last couple of days, I wanted to. But I was afraid of losing you once you learned the truth. I wanted to keep the only bit of happiness I have had in a long time to myself, for as long as I could and before reality came crashing in. It’s not because I don’t trust you, Raven. I do. I trust you with my life. But it wasn’t just because I was selfish. I held off telling you because I didn’t know what _Heda_ was planning on doing with your people. If things didn’t work out, I didn’t want you to have to decide between your people and me. Even though I probably would have still offered.”

“What would you have offered,” Raven asked.

“A place among my people. A new home and a new life,” I told her. “A place by my side.”

“And screw everyone else,” Raven scoffed.

“Not everyone. Before that week of training I gave, I had a mental list of people that were worth saving. Less than ten people had made that list,” I answered truthfully.

Raven sighed, “You still could have told me. I would have kept your secret.”

“If I had told you, would you have questioned my feelings for you,” I asked. “Would you think that I was lying about my feelings to use you? Like you’re doing right now.”

“How—”

“Finn,” I replied. “And that’s understandable. That boy played everyone. He manipulated and lied to get what he wanted. He betrayed you on the deepest level. But I’m not Finn, Raven. Besides hiding the truth of who I am, I never lied to you. My manipulations were more like necessary nudges to show support and boost people’s esteem. To make people think for themselves.”

“You have a point,” Raven sighed. “The shit with Finn makes it harder for me to believe you’ve been sincere and that it hasn’t been some grand scheme to lull all of us into a false sense of security.”

“I blame your Council and Chancellor for that,” I replied with a frown. “But no, this has all been to give _Skaikru_ a chance at a life they deserve. From me, there is no hidden caveat or condition.”

Raven looked up at me sharply, “Are you saying that this Commander might?”

I shrugged, “It is hard to say. But we should discuss this with Clarke and Wells at another time. This conversation is about us.”

“Us? You kept the truth from me,” Raven glared at me.

“Necessary to the mission,” I countered.

“You left,” Raven continued. “You didn’t tell anyone. You didn’t leave a note. You just left.”

“I don’t have a valid reason for doing that,” I replied, rubbing my neck underneath the sling. “I should have left something besides the wolf and ravens. I made you worry, didn’t I?”

“Worry,” Raven scoffed, throwing her hand in the air and walking away a few feet. “I was freaking out, Harlee! All your things were gone. No one had seen you since shortly after we left. I couldn’t understand how you would leave camp _knowing_ that there was an important meeting going on. If shit had gone south, you’d have been an easy target for the Grounders. Or you could have been mauled by some animal or worse. Something could have happened to you and…”

I quickly stepped closer to her, and hesitantly reached out to pull her to me. She resisted and stood rigidly but soon enough, she relaxed against me.

“I fucked up,” I said, gently rubbing circles along her back. “I am sorry for the worry I caused you. When I made these plans in my head on how this day was going to go, I forgot to take you and your feelings into account. I was more concerned with making sure Anya didn’t do anything to fuck the meeting up and that the move to your new campsite went smoothly. _And_ …I may have been a bit obsessed about finally taking a bath and getting clean.”

“Seriously,” Raven snorted, taking a step back and looked at me like I was crazy. “You forgot to leave a note because you wanted to take a damn bath?!”

I felt my cheeks burn and dropped my head, heading back to the table and picking up a cube of cheese to hide my embarrassment. I chewed it slowly before I glanced at her, “Maybe? But, come on, Raven, didn’t it feel fucking great to be clean and wearing fresh clothes after weeks in the same fucking outfit?”

“That’s not a valid reason not to leave your girlfriend a fucking note that you were coming here,” Raven retorted, stepping back up to me. “I’d fucking hit you, but it looks like someone already beat me to it. How did this happen?”

“I stepped into the path of the arrow that was meant for Clarke,” I replied, only now realizing that Raven didn’t know I was at the bridge. “ _Skrish_! You didn’t know that was me, did you?”

“That was you,” Raven exclaimed, stepping back in shock. “You were the scary Grounder that stood there with a fucking arrow in your shoulder and knocked that other Grounder around?! Are you fucking insane?! You could have been killed, Harlee!”

“I had armor on,” I pouted, “And no, I’m not insane.”

“But you are reckless,” Ben’s voice caught us both off guard.

“Fucking Hel, Ben,” I growled, grabbing my arm after he made me jump and jar it.

“Pain,” Ben asked, a little too excitedly if anyone asked me, and walked over.

“Just around the wound,” I replied, glaring at him. “What are you doing here?”

He ignored my question and removed the sling before poking my arm, “Anything?”

“No,” I growled, not feeling anything more than a slight pressure.

Ben frowned, “Can you still move your arm? Your fingers?”

I nodded and moved my fingers before making a fist, “And no, the movement doesn’t cause any tingles along the appendages or up the arm.”

“Um, excuse me,” Raven said, drawing our attention to her. “Who the hell are you?”

“Right,” I replied. “Raven, this is Ben, my personal healer. Ben, this is Raven, _ai niron_.”

Ben’s face lit up in a huge smile, and stepped up to Raven, bowing, “It is an honor to meet you, _Reivon kom Skaikru_. You have made a lot of people happy. We were beginning to despair that our Lee would never open herself to someone. Or that Lee would figure out that she is deserving of good things in life.”

Raven looked at Ben in confusion, “Wha—”

I stepped up and between them quickly, “ _Em pleni, Ben. She doesn’t need to know how pathetic I am_.”

“ _You are not pathetic, Li_ ,” Ben admonished me.

“Hey, you know it’s rude to have a conversation in another language when there’s someone else in the room,” Raven interrupted.

I blushed and glared at Ben before turning to Raven, “ _Moba, Reivon_. Um, sorry. Ben’s known me for so long that he sometimes forgets his place.”

That was the wrong thing to say because Raven’s brows arched up in interest, and she sidestepped around me, “Really? Just how long have you known Harlee here?”

I glared at Ben from behind Raven’s back, threatening him silently, but typical Ben, he fucking ignored me.

“Since we were _yongons_ ,” Ben happily answered Raven. “I’ve been patching her back together since we were both _sekens_. That’s what, Lee? Fifteen summers?”

“Sixteen,” I grumbled. “I was seven when Maria adopted me, and I moved home.”

“That long, huh,” Ben mused and started going through his bag. “We’re getting old, Lee.”

I rolled my eyes, “We’re not old, Ben. We’ve just led full lives.”

“Wait, just how old are you, Harlee,” Raven asked.

“After the first snowfall, it will be my twenty-fourth winter,” I replied.

Ben grabbed my face and turned it to Raven, smirking, “Yet, she doesn’t look a day over seventeen winters. Such a babyface.”

I grabbed his wrist and tore his hand away, “ _Jok of, Ben. Jok_ , what’s got you in such a good mood?”

“What? Can’t I be in a good mood,” Ben huffed and grabbed my good shoulder before shoving me in a chair.

“At my expense? No,” I growled, glaring at him.

“Okay. Fine. I’m in a good mood because you no longer smell like a carcass,” Ben replied, smirking at me.

“Ben,” I growled in warning as Raven laughed.

“No, seriously. How the hell were you even able to hunt, Lee,” Ben continued to tease me as he changed my bandage. “Anything with a nose could scent you for miles. It was horrible.”

“They didn’t have soap,” I exclaimed, defending myself.

“She’s right,” Raven piped up. “We didn’t. We didn’t even have anything big enough to bathe in. Or knew how to heat water without burning ourselves. Or clean clothes.”

Ben frowned, “Well, that stops now, _Reivon kom Skaikru_. A clean camp is a healthy camp. Your people will have all the soap and clean clothes you need. Lee will make sure of it.”

“I will,” I asked in surprise.

“You will,” Ben glared at me as he put on a fresh bandage.

“Fine,” I acquiesced. “Make sure the Quartermaster knows that _Skaikru_ is added to the laundry list. But I expect you, _Ben_ , to monitor _Skaikru’s_ hygiene since you’re all obsessed about it. That’s something you can talk to Clarke about since you need to speak with her anyway.”

“ _Sha, Wocha_ ,” Ben replied with a gleam in his eye. He started cleaning his mess up, “No strenuous activities for a few days, Lee. I mean it. And I want to know immediately if you start getting any feeling in that arm. Oh, and tell Danyel I need that portable up and running ASAP.”

“What portable and why,” I asked, confused as to what he was referring to.

Glancing at Raven, he tapped my bandaged shoulder, and I understood immediately.

I nodded, “Alright. I will let Danyel know tomorrow. If you’re done, you can go now.”

Ben grinned, catching my tone, “It was a pleasure meeting you, _Reivon_. I am sure we’ll have plenty of time to get to know one another.”

“Oh, no you won’t,” I said, standing up and ushering Ben out of the tent. “You’ll be busy with Clarke, and Raven will be busy with Danyel. Once I introduce them, of course.”

“What? I will? Who’s Danyel,” Raven asked.

“Oh, you’re going to love Danyel,” Ben said, digging in his heels. “If what Lee has told me is true about you, you’ll get along great with him.”

“Bye, Ben,” I growled out and shoved him out of the tent.

“Who’s Danyel, Harlee,” Raven asked, coming closer to me.

I turned around, surprised she was as close as she was, but answered, “Danyel is one of my engineers.”

“Wait?! You have _engineers_ ,” Raven exclaimed, laying a hand on my chest to keep me from moving around here. “I thought you guys didn’t use technology.”

I huffed in annoyance, “We don’t. Not like you do. Danyel builds simple machines or tears things down. The rest of what he does falls under secret and won’t be divulged without a blood oath.”

Raven pouted, “What do I have to do to get around the blood oath? I’m not keen on swapping blood with people.”

“Disown _Skaikru_ and be adopted into my clan,” I told her. “Where you will swear many oaths get the mark of my clan. Then, you can learn all about my clan to your heart’s content.”

“Seriously?”

I smirked, “Seriously. Or bond with a clansman.”

“Bond?”

“Um, like Old World marriage,” I explained. “But we are getting off-topic. _Again_.”

“No, no, no,” Raven interjected. “I get why you didn’t tell me who you are. If the roles were reversed, I can see your reluctance to divulge that information. Especially with how anti-Grounder everyone was until you and Octavia showed them your people weren’t as scary as asshole had made them out to be. You know you fucked up when you didn’t leave a note or let someone in _Skaikru_ know you were leaving. You’ve apologized for it. I’m still mad at you for making me freaking worried, but I’ll let you make it up to me. Just as long as you don’t do it again.”

I sighed, “I can’t promise that, Raven. There will be times that I can’t tell you things and times when I will have to leave without notice. I will do things you won’t like. I will get hurt. I will do things that will piss you off because I will forget that it isn’t just me anymore. But the hardest thing about being with me is that my people will always come first. Always. Because I am a leader first and foremost. A warrior second. And many things before I can be just Harlee. I will gladly take your forgiveness, Raven, but if you don’t think you can handle being second or third on occasions, I need to know. But not right now. Think about it and let me know.”

“If I tell you I can’t or realize that I won’t be able to handle the stress of being with you,” Raven asked, regarding me with her brown eyes.

“Then we won’t be together,” I told her. “It won’t interfere with the alliance if we’re no longer together. I’m not that petty. My people may give you dirty looks if we end our relationship, but they’ll understand.”

Raven sighed, “You know I don’t scare that easy.”

“I know,” I said, softly smiling down at her. “And I know you like to be challenged in the things you do. And it is a challenge being with me. I think I’ve proven that a couple of times already. But if you’re up to the challenge, I think we’ll be able to find some middle ground eventually.”

“I think I need to think about it, Harlee,” Raven said, looking up at me with deep and sad eyes. “You’ve given me a lot to consider, and there is a lot that is going on right now. I need time.”

I sighed, “I understand. Take all the time you need, Raven. I guess it would be pointless to ask if you’d like to spend the night.”

“Yeah,” Raven sadly breathed out. “I need to think, and I need space to do it in.”

I nodded and stepped back, “Okay. I’ll have a guard escort you back to your tent then. But, um, before you go. Let Clarke, Wells, and Octavia know that I’d like to meet with them midmorning tomorrow. There are things we need to discuss and set up before _Heda_ arrives. I expect you there too. I’ve thought about it, and the four of you represent the different interests of _Skaikru_. All four of you will need to be part of the negotiations.”

“I’ll let them know,” Raven said.

“Thank you,” I replied and held the tent flap open for her.

She walked out, and I followed to ask Brigid to escort Raven back to her tent. I stood silently outside the tent as I watched them walk away. Raven glanced back a few times, but eventually, they disappeared. I let Tyr know I was retiring for the night and send someone to clear the table.

Then I walked back in and headed straight to my private quarters. Once I knew I was alone, I let the tears that had been building fall. I took a shuddering breath and, with a bit of difficulty, readied myself for bed. The tears continued to fall as my chest began to ache, but for once, I let myself feel. I let myself feel the heartbreak over Raven’s choice to distance herself. I knew it had been coming, but nothing in life had prepared me for the pain I felt. I felt a perverse satisfaction that I had kept the truth from her for as long as I did. Because at least, I had gotten to know what happiness was. Now, I could lock my heart away again because I told myself that Raven wouldn’t be back. Not the way I want her to be because monsters don’t deserve love.

_Raun faya, oso woda klin laudnes-de kom foutaim _. (With fire, we cleanse the pain of the past.)__

__I didn’t get any sleep that night._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a reason why Harlee would say that particular phrase, "With fire, we cleanse the pain of the past." The explanation will come out later down the road, but I will tell you that it ties in with Harlee occasionally flexing her right hand and running her other hand over it.
> 
> Okay, that is all. Enjoy your Friday and for those of you in the U.S., stay safe this Labor Day Weekend.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bring you Chapter 43 folks. Not much to say about it except that it took a bit to figure out what to write. That and I started replaying Mafia 3 and I've been a bit distracted with that.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

RAVEN POV

The walk back to my tent was silent. And when I mean silent, I mean the guard Harlee sent to escort me didn’t make a sound. Not a footfall. Not a creak of leather. Even her breathing was silent. It made the night noises that much louder, and I cringed every time there was an unexpected sound close by. But the moment we crossed camps, voices, laughter, and other noises permeated the air. It was such a stark difference; I was momentarily taken aback.

We drew stares as we walked towards the center of the camp where my tent was. Even though we had spent most of the day in the company of Grounders, it was still a strange sight to see us mixing. I tried to ignore the stares, digging my hands into my jacket pockets and burrowing deeper into it. I took the time to think about the conversation I’d had with Harlee. I wanted to be angry at her for lying about who she was, but her arguments made sense. From what others had told me of Bellamy, he would have stupidly tried to get information out of her if he had known who Harlee was. If Harlee were as important as she appeared to be, that would have thrown us into a war. One, I wasn’t sure we would have come out of alive.

We reached my tent, and with a quiet good night, Harlee’s guard turned and left. I stared at my tent for a long moment, dim and cold in the evening light. I thought back to last night and the warmth of Harlee’s little hut and how safe I felt in Harlee’s arms. The care she took in making sure that I was always comfortable. Whether it was the physical warmth of the hut, our conversations, or the physical aspects of our relationship, Harlee always considered me first. 

Now, I find out the truth. Harlee is in fucking charge of villages. _Villages_. As in multiple. And not only that, but she’s also in charge of the Grounders that are protecting us. Then there’s the big truth bomb, Harlee puts her people first. _Always_. I might learn to live with that. Maybe. But I don’t know if I’d be able to learn to live with her continually leaving. The constant worry. I could barely hold it together today. I mean, I felt some of my worry ease once I learned Harlee was at the Grounder camp, but it was still there. And it hurt when I saw her arm in a sling and a bandage over her shoulder. I had wanted to go straight to her and run my hands over her. Just to make sure that she was still there. Still whole. Still alive. To keep myself from going to her, I had to remind myself that I was angry at her. Angry for lying to me. Angry for leaving without so much as a fucking note. Mad because Harlee was so fucking _calm_.

“Rae, everything okay,” Clarke’s voice startled me out of my thoughts, and I jumped.

I slowly turned around and saw Clarke’s pale face morphed into a look of concern. “I don’t know,” I answered truthfully, quietly.

Clarke’s eyes scanned around me. Probably noticing that my tent was dark and that Harlee wasn’t with me.

“Where’s Harlee,” Clarke asked, cerulean eyes searching mine. “Did you guys not work it out?”

“I,” I stumbled over what to say. “There’s something I need to tell you guys. All of you. Can you grab Wells while I get O?”

Clarke frowned, no more than a slight downturn of her lips, and nodded, “Yeah. Okay. Let me go get Wells, and we’ll meet in my tent, yeah?”

I nodded, “Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, Clarke.”

She nodded and walked to Wells’ tent as I headed to Octavia’s. When I reached Octavia’s, there were the sounds of quiet murmuring, which meant that I wasn’t about to disturb anything.

“Yo, Octavia,” I hollered loud enough to get their attention. 

There was a sound like a groan of frustration and then some curses before Octavia shoved her head out of the tent to glare at me.

“What do you want, Raven,” Octavia grumpily asked.

“There’s something I need to tell you guys,” I replied. “But not Lincoln. It’s important.”

Octavia’s glare turned to a frown as she glanced back before looking at me and dropping her voice, “Does this have something—”

“Just come with me to Clarke’s tent, and I’ll explain,” I interrupted. “I don’t want to have to go over this more than once.”

“Okay. Give me a sec to put on my boots,” Octavia replied, her demeanor becoming more serious, and I nodded.

Octavia ducked back inside, and not two minutes later, she was walking out with Lincoln. I averted my eyes as they kissed, and then Lincoln walked away. We headed over to Clarke’s, where the blonde and Wells were already inside. Octavia and I joined Wells at the small table while Clarke poured everyone something to drink.

When everyone had a cup in their hand, and Clarke was sitting down, she asked, “Okay, Rae. What’s going on that it requires the four of us?”

I took a sip of water, both disappointed and relieved that it wasn’t anything more substantial before I said, “It’s about Harlee. She isn’t who we thought she was. She’s a Grounder that was sent to infiltrate and spy on us.”

Octavia spluttered and spat out her drink, “What?! Are you fucking kidding me?!”

I sadly shook my head, “No, I’m not. Y’all know I went over to the Grounder’s camp to get her and rip her a new one for leaving without letting me know. When I got to their camp, I was taken to the middle of the camp and this huge tent. It’s a lot bigger than this one, but anyway. Food’s being delivered, and I just walk in. I don’t see her, but I hear voices on the other side of the tent. I call out demanding to know where Harlee is, and the voices stop.”

I paused to take a sip of water, “A couple of minutes later, out comes Harlee with this kid and an older woman. But Harlee’s dressed differently. She’s wearing clothes that are a lot nicer than we have. Her hair’s done in these complex braids and got this thing in the middle of her forehead. And lastly, there’s a bandage on her left shoulder, and her arm’s in a sling. Both the kid and the other woman were dressed like Grounders but not like the ones we’ve seen. You know, without armor or a ton of weapons everywhere. I guess maybe like regular people would wear.”

“You’re rambling, Rae,” Clarke softly chided.

I snapped my mouth closed, swallowed, and took a breath before starting again, “Right. Sorry. The kid’s got Harlee by the hand and is dragging her to the front of the tent. All the while, she’s looking at me, introducing herself and telling me that I can yell at Harlee in a minute. Then says not to kill Harlee because her people love her, and she’s important.”

“Important how,” Wells asked, frowning.

I take a few slow breaths, gripping the cup tightly in my hands, and glanced at everyone, “Harlee is a Grounder. But not just any Grounder. She’s in charge of several villages and the Grounders that brought us here. Harlee is some kind of leader.”

“Great,” Octavia huffed. “Can we get back to the fact that Harlee fucking _lied_ to us and was spying on us the entire time? What was the point if they had scouts watching us?”

“Because we use tech that they don’t,” I supplied after taking a drink. “And if you haven’t noticed, the way we speak is different. Not just the language but their use of English. It’s formal and not a lot of slang if any.”

Octavia pondered that for a moment before sighing, “Yeah. I know I’ve said things that have confused Lincoln. But if the Grounders don’t use tech like we do, how the hell did Harlee understand and fit nearly perfectly with us?”

“I asked her that,” I admitted, and shook my head in frustration. “Harlee couldn’t give me an answer.”

“Couldn’t or wouldn’t,” Clarke asked, frowning.

“Couldn’t,” I stressed. “I could see that she wanted to, but it’s a heavily guarded secret. Only three other people know, and they had to take blood oaths to learn.”

“That’s bullshit,” Octavia let out angrily and slapped the table forcefully. “Harlee’s just playing mind games. She’s baiting us. Keeping us interested enough to control us. She’s as bad as the fucking Council.”

“I don’t know,” I said, feeling torn about the situation. “I can understand why she didn’t tell us who she was even after we’d gotten to know each other. It still hurts that she kept that from me, but with what I’ve learned about Bellamy, it was a smart decision. Bellamy would have done something stupid like try to interrogate Harlee while we still feared the Grounders. And if the scouts that were watching us figured it out…”

There was a collective gasp as they realized the implications.

“They would have attacked us to get Harlee free if she is as important as you say she is,” Wells said what everyone was thinking.

I nodded, “And we would have been helpless to stop it _if_ it had been before we contacted the Ark and got the weapons from that depot. We’re lucky they didn’t attack us after Bellamy nearly killed Harlee when I landed.”

“If she was spying on us,” Clarke spoke up, and I looked to see her eyes looking thoughtful. “It’s obvious why. They needed a clearer understanding if we were a threat and if our people were coming down. Her befriending us kept everyone involved informed. But it doesn’t explain why she helped us.”

“Isn’t it obvious,” Octavia snarled, abruptly standing up and angrily pacing. “Helping us leads to us trusting her. Trusting her means that we’ll listen to her. Listening to her means that we’ll do what she suggests without even realizing it. Fuck! She probably didn’t mean a goddamn thing she said.”

“She did,” I quietly said, watching Octavia pace. “I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s the one thing we’ve always had between us. Honesty. Harlee’s never lied to me. When she’s honest, Harlee chooses her words carefully. She takes time. If you think about the times we’ve asked her about the Ark, they’re quick and practiced. And she wasn’t so much as manipulating what we did; she questioned enough to make us think for ourselves. To come up with the answers ourselves.”

“It’s always been advice,” Wells said in wonder. “Harlee’s helped us focus on what was important and what needed to be done. Not what we wanted to hear or wished things to be. Even separating from the Ark. Harlee was listening to what everyone was saying. How dissatisfied they were with the way things were and their fears about returning. Octavia, you’ve heard those same things. Harlee helped us see the truth.”

“And you have to admit, O,” I said, drawing the fiery brunette’s attention. “Her advice towards you has led to some amazing things. I’ve seen you during training. You’ve got one of the biggest grins on your faces, and you’re a lot happier. You met Lincoln, and things seem to be going well there. And I know you’ve come to see her when you’ve been worried about Bellamy. Harlee may have spied on us, but she’s done more good than harm.”

“But why,” Octavia asked, plopping back down in her chair and looking distraught.

I took another drink of water and answered, “She said it’s because we deserved a chance. We have been shit on, spit on, beat on until we look at genuine help with suspicion. Would we have taken her offer of help if she had come as she is? Probably not. Your reaction is proof of that. But I think our problem is that we don’t know the whole story. Harlee’s given us bits and pieces. But those bits have made sense as to why things have gone the way they have. I think if we go to her and ask the right questions, we’ll get the answers we need.”

“And what answers do we need,” Octavia huffed.

“If this is all part of some grand scheme to lure us into something we won’t want to do,” Clarke sighed and fiddled with her cup. “Is this alliance more helpful for them than us? Are we going to end up getting the short end of the stick? That’s what we need to know.”

“And we’ll be able to ask those questions in the morning,” I said, glancing at everyone. “Harlee wants to have a meeting with the four of us tomorrow at midmorning. To discuss everything before their Commander arrives for negotiations.”

“Then I think it’s a good time that we call it a night,” Clarke said with a stern gaze. “No matter how we feel about Harlee lying to us, we _need_ to make this alliance work. This isn’t just about us. This is about those kids out there that are trusting us to make the right decisions for them. Start thinking about what we need to keep our people safe. We’ll hash out a game plan over breakfast.”

“Sounds good,” Wells said, standing up, hearing the dismissal in Clarke’s voice.

“Yeah, alright,” Octavia huffed. “Just don’t be surprised if I hit her the moment I see Harlee. I hate liars.”

“If that happens,” I said, looking at Octavia. “Make sure it’s not where the other Grounders can see. I noticed that they’re protective of her. And the fact that it may be an insult since she’s their leader.”

“I will try,” Octavia grit out as she headed out of the tent.

The three of us shared a look before shaking our heads in resignation. Wells bid us goodnight and left. I stayed sitting, playing with my cup, and not ready to head to an empty tent.

“That’s not all that happened, is it,” Clarke softly asked, coming to sit next to me.

I took another drink and shook my head, “No. Without going into details, Harlee told me what it would be like to be in a relationship with her. And I’m honestly not sure that I could handle it.”

“What did she tell you?”

I heavily sighed, “Well, the easiest I could probably learn to live with is that the duty to her people come first. Like always, but that’s the way of any leader. Any good one, anyway. And that there will be things Harlee can’t tell me and things that will piss me off. We’d probably get into arguments about those as they come up. But, well, as long as we keep talking about what bothers us, those would be things I could live with too. What bothers me the most is that since Harlee’s a military leader of some kind, she’s going to have to leave, and I’ll probably have to stay behind. I don’t know how often that will be. But the worst will be the worry. God, I was so fucking worried something had happened to her today. I mean, you saw how freaked out I was and that only lessened a bit once Deke told us she was here. I think that I was so angry because I was so worried. I’m not sure I can keep doing that.”

“Did you tell her this,” Clarke asked, keeping her voice soft and calm.

I sighed, “Not in so many words, but I told her that I needed to think about it. Harlee’s the one that brought it all up and pretty much said that if I didn’t think I could, we needed to end it. I guess to save us from an eventual blow-up over it. But she also promised that if it did end, it wouldn’t affect the alliance.”

“Do you love her?”

I looked at Clarke, and I could feel my resolve crumble under her understanding gaze. In a voice that betrayed me, I brokenly replied, “I do.”

Clarke softly smiled, “Then do what you said you would do. Think about it. Talk it out with someone. Take the time and give this decision the seriousness it deserves. You don’t want the love you guys have for each other to turn to hate. And no matter how much you love Harlee, Rae, sometimes that’s just not enough. Sometimes you have to let it go and do what’s best for you.”

“What if I let it go and then later down the road, realize that I’ve made the biggest mistake in my life,” I asked.

“Then that’s something you’ll have to live with,” Clarke told me with a shrug. “You may be able to fix the mistake, or you may not. But I think the worst thing you can do is cut her out. Now that the charade is over talk with her. Find out more what her life is like. Use that to get a better picture of a life you’d be a part of if you decide to stick it out. But whatever you decide, you’ll always have me, Raven. And Wells. Probably Octavia too. We’ll support whatever your decision. We have your back.”

I felt myself tear up and dropped my gaze, sniffling as I tried to get my emotions under control. I had come down thinking that I only had Finn as my family. Instead, I’d gained more family than I had in my entire life. Clarke’s words made me realize that I wasn’t alone. And never would be again.

I lost it and started crying when I felt Clarke’s arms around me, hugging me. For once, I didn’t fight the tears or the embrace. Clarke held me until my tears eased.

“I know I’m not Harlee,” Clarke softly spoke into the crown of my head, “but would you like to spend the night, Rae?”

“As long as you promise to keep your hands to yourself,” I attempted to joke.

It worked because Clarke chuckled, “I will if you promise to empty your pockets of anything sharp.”

“Deal,” I smiled and felt a little bit lighter after our talk and my cry.

“Then we should probably try and get some sleep,” Clarke said, releasing me only to take my head in her hands. Wiping the remnants of tears from my face, “Neither one of us likes to be up in the morning. If we want to bring our A-game to the meeting with Harlee, we need sleep.”

I snorted, which sent snot dribbling down my face, and Clarke grimaced. I grinned, seeing it but wiped it off with my sleeve. Clarke saw the mischievous look in my eyes as I looked at my sleeve and scrambled out of the chair. I got up and chased her as she squealed to get away. We ended up in a heap on her cot, breathless as we laughed. Once we caught our breath, we readied for bed. It wasn’t the best sleep because I wasn’t sleeping with Harlee’s arms around me, but at least I did fall asleep with Clarke softly snoring beside me. Maybe things could still work out.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 44 y'all. And happy dance, we woke up 57 degrees F. Today has been comfortable as fuck. Downside, rain.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

HARLEE POV

Sleep had been as elusive as I had thought. After my latest attempt to find some rest, I threw off the furs and sat up in frustration. My shoulder pained with a persistent throb and my arm nothing more than a dead weight that I could lift and maneuver with a thought. I ran a hand over tousled braids, my fingers ghosting over an image that hasn’t seen the light of day in nearly a decade. I briefly wondered if I’d ever be allowed to adorn myself with the images of my station or, if like most things in my life, would remain elusive and out of reach.

I sighed and shifted until my feet sat firmly on the floor. I lifted my gaze to the candle that marked time and noted that it was barely two candlemarks past midnight. My mind remained in turmoil, and I knew that sleep would not find me before dawn peeked over the trees. With another heavy sigh, I rose and found another candle. I lit it and carried it over to an unremarkable square of woven fabric. I gazed at the colors woven in a simplistic yet calming manner. It was meant to provoke calm while supposedly grounding the person who sat upon it. A meditation mat passed down from the first Trikova Heda. The first Vessel of the Keryon kom Trikova. A Spirit as ancient as when Light first met Dark. When Humans were in their infancy and so easily frightened. I wondered at the long cyclic path Humanity had taken to return to this point. The pinnacle of creation that needed to happen to shake the hubris of humanity and remind us that we were not Gods. That we were mere children at play in a world that was ancient before we even existed.

The feeling of intense burning brought me out of my ruminations. Reminding me that I stood staring at a simple mat while a candle burned in my hand. I had stood long enough for the wax to drip and lay claim to my flesh. With a softer sigh, I sat on the mat and settled the candle in front of me. Rubbing the wax from my skin, I positioned myself in the pose meant to help me meditate easier.

Breathing in and out in the pattern taught to me by my priests, I focused on the dancing flame in front of me. Letting the warm colors fill my vision as I lulled myself into a meditative trance. Between on slow blink and the next, my mind wandered deeper into itself until I was no longer looking at a flame but rather a pale cream tent that billowed from the winds of a long-forgotten landscape.

I hadn’t expected to commune with the Spirit that resides in me as Its Vessel, but it was apparently needed. By the time I woke from my meditative trance, I knew what needed to be done.

I blinked as the afterimages of the spirit realm and candle flame faded from view, and my darkened tent came back into focus. I leaned forward and snuffed the flame between my fingertips before rising fluidly from my spot on the floor. I slowly stretched each muscle that I could, careful that I did not exacerbate my wounded shoulder. Rolling my neck to ease the last of my tension, I bent and retrieved the candle to place near my washbasin. Removing my arm from the sling, I set it to the side and washed up. It was surreal to see my left arm move but not feel the muscles as it did so. I pushed the worry I felt at the lack of sensation as I continued to get ready for the day.

Grabbing supplies, I set them down on the cot as I set about cleaning and changing the bandage on my shoulder. When I was done, I finished dressing, putting my arm back in the sling last. I strode out and headed to the front of the tent, stepping outside, and stopping by my guards. We greeted one another before Sachin left to fetch breakfast and Deke so that I could begin my day. Falin and I chatted amicably, catching up as I enjoyed the peaceful quiet of pre-dawn. When I saw Sachin returning, I headed back inside and began lighting candles to illuminate the tent’s interior.

Sitting at the table, I started once more on the reports I had not gone through as I waited for breakfast to arrive. When it did, a plate and mug of coffee were readied for me and placed within easy reach. I mumbled my thanks, my eyes never leaving the report in front of me as I reached for the mug. I was finishing my second plate, having finished going through the reports, when Deke arrived.

“Sonop, Wocha,” Deke bowed his head in greeting.

I swallowed before replying, “Sonop, Deke. Anya never showed yesterday.”

Deke frowned, “She was informed to appear before you, Wocha. Several times, in fact.”

I leaned back in my chair, the mug in my hand as I regarded him thoughtfully, “Hmm. Her continued defiance is a problem, Deke. Were there problems relocating her warriors?”

“They were not happy, Wocha,” Deke replied. “It was not so much the move as it was being placed under your command.”

I sighed, frowning, “I hate to do this to Indra, but if I keep them under me, the warriors will only grow insubordinate. I cannot afford it while easing Skaikru to our ways. Send a messenger to Indra, informing her that she will have additional forces arriving to do as she wills. Let her know that they were once Anya’s.”

“It will be done, Wocha,” Deke intoned, bowing his head at my order. “What is the plan with Skaikru?”

I took a long sip of coffee before I answered, “They will have today to continue settling in. I have a meeting with Clarke, Wells, Octavia, and Raven this morning. There are explanations to be given. I also want to get their feedback on my plan for Skaikru’s integration. I expect it to be long and with no small amount of yelling.”

“I take it that Raven was not so forgiving yesterday,” Deke knowingly said.

I snorted, a wry smirk crosses my lips, “My Valkyrie appreciates logic, Deke. She understood the reasoning behind my deception. But I was not forgiven for the worry I caused her. I informed her of the challenges she will face if we stay together. That is where we have formed an impasse. Until the Maun-de en Azgeda are no longer threats, my time is fluid, and my voice is compromised. I am not sure if Reivon will be able to handle the silence and worry. And I am not sure that I can maintain my priorities.”

“May I speak freely, Wocha,” Deke respectfully asked.

I smiled and gestured for him to take a seat, “Beja, Nontu. You know I know nothing of relationships.”

Deke sat and smiled indulgently at me, “Ridiyo, ai yongon. Yu nomi en ai did not face the same trials you do, ai goufa. But our relationship wasn’t without its own troubles. There were many nights I had to find sleeping arrangements elsewhere, and the same went for Maria. What helped us is that we gave each other space to find the truth behind our emotions before we sat and spoke of what was troubling us.”

“So, do not crowd her to give me an answer,” I said, arching a brow and smirking.

Deke nodded, “And you must prepare yourself to answer questions that you may find uncomfortable. You must allow yourself to be vulnerable.”

I sighed, dropping my smirk, “I have been nothing but vulnerable with Skaikru, Nontu. With Reivon.”

“But you are not vulnerable with yourself, ai yongon. You still shy away from your past,” he chided.

I darkly scowled, “What does my past have to do with Reivon? It happened. It doesn’t need to be explored.”

Deke sighed, knowing I didn’t want to talk about it and relented, “Alright, ai goufa. I just meant that you have to be willing to let her in and see even the darkest part of you. Just as she must with you.”

I sighed and rubbed my face, “Ai get em in, Nontu. I will try.”

Deke softly smiled at me, “That is all we can do, Lee. We try. And we _talk_. Reivon will come to you when she is ready to talk.”

I smiled in return and nodded, “Mochof, Nontu. This has helped, especially after my communion with the Keryon.”

Deke perked up, “Oh?”

I smirked at his interest, “Sha. To gain Skaikru’s trust or that of its leaders, I am told to disregard tradition. The conversation eased my turmoil over the subject. I had been thinking of doing it regardless.”

“But having the Keryon’s blessing makes the decision easier,” Deke knowingly replied.

I nodded and drank the rest of my now cold coffee, “It did. It does. That is why I am going to need Ben and Danyel at the meeting today.”

Deke nodded, “I will make sure they are here.”

“Mochof,” I replied. “I also need you to send for Emori. I believe I know what to do with John Murphy.”

Deke raised his brow in surprise, “Are you sure that is wise, Wocha?”

I countered his brow with one of my own, “John Murphy did well with training others, but neither hunter nor warrior is he. But he is observant and a survivor, Deke. Those talents are best suited in a less than respectable career. Though I still have my doubts, Emori will be able to lay them to rest.”

“Very well,” Deke replied. “What of our guests in Tondc?”

I felt a spark of anger bury itself in my gut when I thought about them, but steeled myself to remain unaffected, “Have Mary and Finn kom Skaikru brought here. Keep them restrained and gagged. We do not need their vitriol to find themselves on the wrong end of a blade before Clarke can decide what to do with them. Bellamy can wait until I find the time to head there.”

Deke nodded and stood, “I will make sure it is done, Wocha.”

“Good,” I replied, getting up as well. Setting the mug down, I said, “I might as well see how training goes since I have time.”

“I think some of the newer Riders will surprise you,” Deke said as we strode out of the tent.

“We shall see, Deke,” I replied with a smirk. “You know my standards are impossibly high.”

Deke let out a belly laugh making me chuckle. With a bow, Deke left to relay my messages, and the guards fell behind me as I headed to the training grounds. The morning looking hopeful as my heart still ached not to have Raven near. And sometimes, that is all that is needed to get through the day. Hope.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been awhile. Life, you know? But chapter 45 is out and it's the confrontation we've been waiting for. And Octavia is well...Octavia. I didn't get as far in the reveals as I intended, but the meeting is far from over. It will continue in the next chapter(s).
> 
> Enjoy and remember to be kind to yourself and others.

I sat on my throne and scanned Danyel’s latest designs as I listened to Thyra, my lead researcher, report. My researchers had one job. Find any documentation on Mount Weather. A fruitless endeavor that was tearing at my resolve to end their terror in my lifetime.

“Em pleni,” I growled lowly and making the rest of the occupants in the room flinch. “All you have given me is nothing, Thyra. We have been looking for ten autumns. How is it possible to not find a single shred of information on Maun-de?”

“I—” Thyra began, but I cut her off.

“That was a rhetorical question, Thyra,” I angrily sighed, rolling my eyes in frustration. “Is there any place we have _not_ looked?”

I watched as Thyra swallowed, briefly glancing at Danyel and Ben, who stood off to the side, “There is one, Wocha. The Fleimkepa’s sanctum. It has long been theorized that it holds the records of _every_ event since Praimfaya.”

I groaned, “And only a select few have access to it. Titus would never allow it. That man hates that I am still alive.”

“That is because he still sees you as a threat, Wocha,” Deke replied from beside me.

“Because he refuses to acknowledge that there are other Spirits besides Keryon kom Fleim,” I scowled. “Or that those that are Vessels have a right to rule alongside Heda. Self-righteous prick.” I sighed and straightened, returning my attention to Thyra, “I know I have asked this of you before, Thyra, but go back through Heda Solomon’s journals. With his, Heda Cree, and Wanheda Pax’s thorough planning of the clan, one of them had to have set aside information on Maun-de. It couldn’t have all been destroyed.”

Thyra let out a soft sigh, but bowed her head, “We will look again, Wocha. I apologize for not bringing you better news.”

I waved her apology off, “You have nothing to apologize for, Thyra. I am only frustrated that it seems that the Maunon have done too well a job of ensuring their protection. For now, let your team take a break and pursue some of our other projects. Maybe I have had you too focused on Maun-de that no one sees clearly.”

“I will inform my team, Wocha,” Thyra replied, hearing the dismissal in my short speech.

I nodded and looked back to the designs in my hand, “These are ingenious, Danyel. If you can figure out a way to camouflage the tek, we can incorporate some of these. And do we have enough materials to build these?”

The bespectacled stocky frame that was Danyel stepped forward excitedly, “Sha, Wocha. If I can remove the necessary parts of Skaikru’s dropship.”

“It is not my permission you need to seek, Danyel,” I replied, standing up and walking towards him. “You must speak with Clarke, but I do not want to start cannibalizing the dropship just yet. Were you able to ascertain if it still retained fuel and what type?”

“Sha, Wocha,” Danyel answered with a nod and took his designs back. “There is enough hydrazine to lift the dropship for five minutes.”

I regarded him thoughtfully and then nodded, “And the controls to fire the rockets?”

Danyel grimaced, “They did not take particularly good care of the dropship, Wocha. The wiring is a mess. Eroded insulation, sheared wires, and corroded couplings and contacts. I’m honestly surprised the landing functions worked at all.”

“Yes, but can we—” I started to say but noticed Falin enter the tent. “Sha, Falin?”

Falin bowed her head, “Moba, Wocha. Skaikru ste hir.”

I nodded, “Show the—”

For the second time, I was interrupted as Raven stormed in and came right at me. Glaring hotly, Raven accused me, “You took our guns and ammo, didn’t you?”

I blinked at our proximity, tensing as I felt anger bubbling in my gut at being questioned. Raven had stopped within inches of me and not one to back down; I stood firm as I stared back at her with an unrelenting gaze.

“I did,” I emotionlessly replied. “It is forbidden to own or use a firearm within Coalition lands. I expect you to hand over the rest _willingly_.”

“You have no right,” Raven angrily retorted.

“That is where you are wrong, _Reivon kom Skaikru_ ,” I dispassionately countered. “As the Commander’s Shadow, it is my duty to ensure all those within Coalition lands follow the law. That includes outsiders. Unless you’d like to be marched to the Western Wastelands, I suggest you comply.”

“We need them for our protection,” Raven continued to argue.

“No, you don’t,” I replied, gentling my words as I read residual fear in her eyes. “ _Heda_ has placed you under her protection. To attack you is to attack her. You are also under my protection, and the last thing I would do is leave you defenseless, _Reivon_.”

“You should have asked,” Raven relented.

I cocked my head to the side and glanced at the others who had entered the tent, “And you would have argued against, which would have caused me to remove them by force. Is there any _valid_ reason to allow _Skaikru_ to arm themselves with the firearms?”

Raven looked over her shoulder to Clarke, who stepped forward and answered, “The Council will not appreciate our move to distance ourselves from them. They may try to take us back by force. Right now, we have no guarantee that your people will step up and protect us from them.”

I sighed and stepped around Raven, “I understand your hesitance, but no one is above Coalition Law. Even my Riders and I must obey when on Coalition lands. Once _Heda_ arrives, and negotiations begin, you may argue your case to have the weapons returned to you. Luckily, you have two moons before the people on the Ark come down and, therefore, time. I have some ideas on how you can make use of that time, but I will leave it up to you to decide.”

“Of course you do,” Octavia snarked, glaring at me hotly. “You’ve been telling us what to do since you got to our camp. Why should we listen to you? You’re nothing but a liar and a manipulator.”

“The only lies I told were the ones that kept you believing I was born on the Ark,” I said, looking her square in the eyes. “What you call manipulations, I call guidance. I did it because I saw what you were. I saw that you were nothing but children thrown into an impossible situation. I saw the truth. I did not have to step up and help you. I could have let you continue to starve, to lose people, and many other things. I could have informed _Heda_ that you aren’t worth saving or helping. But I did none of those things. I have put my life at risk to help you at no benefit to me.”

“What do you mean,” Wells asked, frowning. “What do you mean there’s no benefit to you?”

I smiled kindly at him, “I mean that I do not get anything out of this arrangement, Wells. I am not _Trikru_ , and I am not part of the Coalition. Unless either you volunteer or _Heda_ demands your assistance in a certain situation, I gain nothing.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Octavia sarcastically spoke up. “No one does something without getting something in return.”

I sighed and turned my back on them, making my way to my throne, “I took this assignment as a favor to _Heda_. I have the skills and knowledge she needed to find the truth behind conflicting reports. And the last thing either of us wants is another war. So, I guess, if I get anything out of this, it is a continuation of a hard-fought peace.”

I stood in front of my throne, gazing at it as I thought over my own words. It was true. All I wanted was for this peace to continue, but I knew that it wouldn’t last. Not with the continued threats of the Maun-de and Azgeda. Until we removed them, war would always be on the horizon.

“What knowledge do you have that others don’t,” Clarke asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I glanced over at Deke and saw him nod at me encouragingly. I straightened my shoulders, ignoring the pain it caused my wound, and turned to sit down. I let my eyes rove for a moment as I took in their postures. Clarke and Wells both looked at me curiously. Octavia still looked angry. And Raven. Raven looked like she was waiting, but what it was I couldn’t discern.

Sitting, I replied, “As we’ve discussed before, the clans are not as technologically advanced as _Skaikru_. We did away with most of it after _Praimfaya_. Not only because we lost the infrastructures to maintain it but also because we recognized that it was what caused the world to burn. For the first fifty years, we continued to use the more benevolent technology. Medicine, communications, transportation. We also still used firearms but were slowly running out of ammunition and had to find alternative ways to protect ourselves. The clans formed as survivors found each other. That is how we discovered the _Maunon_. The Mountain Men.”

I paused to let it begin sinking in and realized they were still standing, “I apologize. Please, sit. This will be lengthy.”

They looked around and found seats before looking back at me expectantly. Deke handed me a cup, and I took it with a nod of thanks.

Taking a sip, I continued, “Another thing you must understand is that once our people began emerging from the bunkers, we lost many to the radiation. The strongest survived. For whatever reason, the Mountain Men remained inside until they encountered our people. Again, for reasons unknown, they thought it meant they could survive as well. They opened up the bunker, and countless died. War happened. We lost because the Mountain Men had access to missiles and created the acid fog. Under the terms of surrender, we agreed that we would leave each other alone, but there was more to it. The clans had to destroy all of our firearms and what few long-range weapons we still possessed. And we had to stop using technology. All of it.”

I paused to take another sip, and Octavia blurted out, “What does that have to do with you?”

I looked at her curiously as I replied, “I am getting to that. To understand how I possess the knowledge I do, you must understand the history behind it. But before I continue, I must warn you that what you are about to hear must not leave this tent. I told Raven that this knowledge usually comes at the price of a blood oath, but I received permission to ignore it this once. Do you agree to keep this information among yourselves?”

The group looked at each other, and all agreed, even Octavia did, albeit reluctantly.

“Good,” I continued. “As I was saying, the terms of surrender threw us further back in time even though we were already moving away from what we once knew. But our leaders knew that eventually, the Mountain Men would grow tired of living in the Mountain and try again. And we needed to be prepared. They knew that the only way to defeat them would be to have the same advantages as them. We would need weapons and technology, but with the terms of surrender, we couldn’t openly prepare. Our leaders decided to create a secret clan. One hidden in plain sight that would retain the use of such weapons and technology. My clan. _Trikovakru_. The Shadow Clan.

I am the clan’s leader and commanding officer of their army. My proper title is _Trikova Heda_ or Shadow Commander. But since we don’t exist, my Riders refer to me as _Wocha_ or Chief in _Gonasleng_ , and others will call me _Trikova_ or Shadow. For two hundred and fifty years, my clan has maintained and used the knowledge of the Old World in secret. All in the hopes of one day bringing the _Maun-de_ down. That is why I was able to fit in with your people outside of a few eccentricities.”

Silence descended on the tent as the leaders of Skaikru absorbed the truth. It was a lot to take in, and one hard to believe when there was no physical proof. Not until they entered Danyel’s work tent or Ben’s. Or if they bothered to take a closer inspection of what was in my tent.

“Why haven’t you been able to take the Mountain Men down,” Wells asked. “Over two hundred years seems like plenty of time.”

“First we had to recover, Wells,” I replied. “The war devastated those that fought against them. Then, clans fought against one another. Mainly over resources. If we’re fighting each other, we don’t have the wherewithal to fight the Mountain. It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that the Mountain Men had a hand in that. Then, there’s the Mountain itself. We can’t get close due to the acid fog. Any large force or any group that nears the Mountain and they release the fog. And somehow, we have lost all information on the Mountain. In any of the archives that have survived, there is no mention of Mount Weather. Not even archival footage. It is all gone. And my researchers have looked.”

“Not even general information,” Raven asked.

I shook my head, “The only information I have is what has been written down by past _Trikova Hedas_. I have maps of the surrounding area and some of the tunnels that run underneath, but nothing else. But even if we had the information, we can’t get close because of the fog. So, we do what we can to minimize the people they take.”

“And you don’t know why they’re taking your people other than turning some of them into those monsters,” Clarke said.

“We don’t,” I frustratingly replied. “No one that has been taken has ever returned except as _Ripas_. And those are nothing but mindless, cannibalistic beasts.”

“I don’t know why you are all going on about the Mountain Men,” Octavia angrily huffed. “They haven’t messed with us, so I say we leave well enough alone. We have no dog in the Grounders fight against them.”

My grip tightened on my cup at Octavia’s flippant attitude, and I felt the metal begin to cave under pressure. I felt my face morph into an emotionless mask at her apparent disregard for everything the Mountain Men have done to my people and me. The countless lives that had been lost. The families torn apart or lost. I felt my anger churning, roiling, in my gut as Octavia sat there, acting like a spoiled goufa who wasn’t getting her way. I wanted nothing more than to beat her into understanding the _life_ I have had to give up to protect not only my people but her ungrateful ass.

My vision of Octavia was abruptly blocked, making me blink to bring into focus what was in front of me. It was my Valkyrie. My Raven. She looked concerned, and I could see her lips moving, but I couldn’t hear her. Then I felt her hands holding my head, and everything came rushing back as I inhaled sharply. Touch, smell, hearing, sight, and taste. It all came back in a rush.

Raven let out a soft sigh and a small smile, “That’s good, Harlee. Take a breath and let it out slowly.”

I found myself obeying and breathed in and out on her command. My hand loosened its hold on my cup with a soft grunt escaping past my lips. I swallowed a few times as I continued to calm.

I reached up and grasped one of her hands in mine, rubbing the back with my thumb, a small smile on my lips, “Thank you, my Valkyrie.”

“Anytime, Casanova,” Raven smirked and, in a moment of tenderness, kissed me above my symbol. “This doesn’t mean that it’s all good between us. I just didn’t want a war to start because Octavia is acting childish.”

“I know, but I am still appreciative,” I said, kissing the back of her hand before letting it go. “You can sit back down now. I won’t kill her.”

“Okay,” Raven softly replied, letting her other hand slide from my face as she straightened and headed back to her seat.

I cleared my throat, “Danyel, can you put up the map, _beja_?”

Danyel bowed his head and stood up, removing something from a pocket, “ _Sha, Wocha_.”

He placed the object in the middle of the tent and pressed the top. A 3-D image of the surrounding area, including several villages, Mount Weather, and the dropship, appeared to hover several feet above the object.

“Holy shit,” Raven exclaimed, gripping the arms of her chair to keep from grabbing the object. “A holographic topographical map! I only read about these. How accurate is this?”

I smirked and gestured at Danyel to answer, “Within a hundred feet. The disc is designed to update from several satellites orbiting the planet, but we’ve only been able to establish a connection with five. Otherwise, the accuracy would be within millimeters.”

Raven let out a giddy giggle and looked excitedly at the map.

I gestured to Deke, “Deke, if you’ll explain what we’re seeing.”

“ _Sha, Wocha_ ,” Deke replied, moving forward and manipulating the map, making Raven giggle again. “What you are seeing is activity from the _Maun-de_ since _Skaikru’s_ arrival. The red markers indicate Reaper attacks while the yellow are _Maunon_ scout sightings. Since _Skaikru_ arrived, both the attacks and sightings have increased.”

Deke flicked his wrist over the image, and a new one appeared, “This is the same number of days but before _Skaikru_.”

Manipulating the image to overlay both images and changing the color of the markers of one so that we could see the difference, “As you can see, the number of attacks and sightings has gone up. Nearly triple.”

“How many have we lost to the attacks and scout sightings, Deke,” I asked even though I already knew the answer.

“None, _Wocha_ ,” Deke replied. “But many have become injured and unable to continue patrols. Combining our patrols with _Wocha_ Indra’s has done much to prevent it from occurring.”

“Have any _Ripas_ escaped with our _gonas_ ,” I asked.

“ _Sha, Wocha_ ,” Deke bowed his head in shame. “Fifteen _gonas_ have gone out on patrol and not returned.”

“ _Mochof_ , Deke,” I said and watched as Wells stood up to examine the map closer.

He turned a shocked gaze on me, “My God, they’ve been trying to draw your attention away from the dropship.” -He pointed to a yellow dot that was only a couple of miles from the dropship- “This was only a couple of miles away. You’ve been _protecting_ us.”

Octavia scoffed, “More like making sure their enemies didn’t gain new allies. Allies that could use the same weapons and tech without burning the moment they breathed the air.”

“You are both right,” I coldly responded. “Keeping the _Maunon_ away not only kept your people safe but also prevented a potential alliance that would make us enemies. But let me explain how the _Ripas_ and _Maunon_ take people. They attack either by force or by red gas. Any that resist are killed with no remorse. The _Maunon_ would not have come and talked peace first. You would have been gassed and woken up inside the Mountain. After that, who knows.”

“How do we know that we wouldn’t be better off with the Mountain Men,” Octavia continued to argue angrily. “Outside of a few pieces of technology, we’re more like them than you.”

“Ben,” I growled out as I gripped the arm of my throne to prevent myself from grabbing my knife.

Ben hastily stepped forward and knelt by the disk. He manipulated the disk. The map of the area vanished to be replaced by images of Reapers and those caught by the fog. Ben stood up, bowed to me, and stepped back to the side. The look of horror on their faces was not nearly enough to satisfy me in the moment.

“Are you telling me, _Okteivia kom Skaikru_ ,” I all but growled out, “that you would side with people who do this?! Who would take _strong_ men like Deke? Like _Linkon_. And turn them into monsters that would not recognize their loved ones?! That would kidnap, kill, _eat_ those they once knew and _loved_?! Are you saying that you would side with people who release a gas that eats the _flesh_ of any caught in it?! Be it man, woman, or _child_?! Did you not lose a love interest to this very gas, _Okteivia_? I know you still love your brother, _Okteivia_. Would you have the _courage_ to face him if he came at you as a _Ripa_? Could you _kill_ him? Because if you resisted, _Belomi_ as a _Ripa_ would have no problems _killing_ you. Could you live with yourself siding with a people who did this?”

“No,” Octavia angrily replied. “No, I wouldn’t _side_ with people who do this to other human beings.”

“Then why are you arguing against this alliance,” I bit out, frustrated by her behavior.

Octavia abruptly stood up from her chair and took a few steps forward. Deke took a step towards her, partially in front of me, his hand on the hilt of his blade ready to defend me.

She glanced at Deke before focusing her glare back on me and retorted, “Because you _lied_ to us! Since the moment you stepped into our camp, you have done nothing but _manipulate_ us into doing what _you_ want! _Fuck_! We have only _your_ word that my _brother_ attempted to stab you in the back. For all we know, you provoked him! Because my brother wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t try to kill some innocent. And the vote to disassociate ourselves from the rest of the Ark?! How many people did you talk and _convince_ to vote that way? Huh? Then, let’s not forget about this move. Without so much as asking, you _ordered_ us to break camp and move here. Why the hell would we move when we had a perfectly good campsite? You’re just as bad as the Ark Council, Harlee. And why would we _ever_ align ourselves with someone like that?!”

“ _Bants. Nau_ ,” I ordered, not looking anywhere except at Octavia.

“Octavia,” Clarke warned as Ben, Danyel, and Deke followed my orders.

“That’s alright, Clarke,” I said, standing up slowly and moving to the middle of the tent. “Octavia has a right to be angry. To be hurt. Luckily for _Skaikru_ , this alliance is not reliant on Octavia or her inability to rein in her anger and impulsiveness. If it were, we would be at war. Tell me, Octavia. What would have happened if I or any of my people had approached your camp openly?”

Octavia stood silent as she tried to think of an answer.

“Wells,” I prompted, keeping my eyes on Octavia.

“Bellamy probably would have ordered to drive you off,” Wells replied. “Those guarding the walls had orders from him to kill any Grounder they saw.”

I nodded, “If I hadn’t arrived at Raven’s pod before Bellamy, what would have been the most likely outcome?”

“Most likely, Bellamy would have taken the radio and destroyed it,” Clarke stated.

“And,” I pushed.

“Over three hundred people would have been culled from the Ark,” Raven replied.

“If Bellamy had been free when Octavia disappeared, what would he have done,” I asked.

“He would have pushed for a search party and went looking for Octavia,” Clarke replied. “They would have been armed.”

“For everyone’s information, Lincoln’s cave is located within _Trikru_ hunting grounds,” I informed them. “Past the point we allowed you to travel unhindered. There are traps, and as invaders, any _Skaikru_ would have been attacked. Meaning, any that followed Bellamy would have been either a victim of the traps or _Trikru_ scouts. _Meaning_ , people would have died to rescue someone who did not need rescuing. If Bellamy had been successful in rescuing Octavia, would he have left well enough alone?”

“No,” Wells defeatedly sighed. “If Lincoln were there, Bellamy would have brought him back. Not only in retaliation for supposedly kidnapping Octavia but also for the deaths of any that followed him.”

“And what would have happened,” I asked.

“Bellamy would have had Lincoln restrained and then questioned,” Wells replied.

I nodded, “As a _Trikru_ scout and _gona_ , Lincoln is trained to remain quiet when taken prisoner. This would have angered Bellamy, and most likely, he would then attempt to beat the answers out of Lincoln. Lincoln is also trained to withstand torture. Kidnapping and torturing a _Trikru gona_ is an act of war. We would have acted in kind, and you wouldn’t have stood a chance.”

I looked around at them as they absorbed the what if’s. Faces blanched as the horror of what might have been was realized. Satisfied that they understood, I returned my attention to Octavia.

“Compare that to what happened,” I said. “You have been fed, trained, and kept safe. No one has died since the acid fog took the lives of Atom, Pascal, and Trina. That includes the three hundred the Ark Council was prepared to cull. An attempted kidnapping of Clarke was stopped. And instead of war, you have peace. In all that has happened, where have _I_ benefited? Bellamy attacked me for taking you, _Okteivia_ , outside the camp walls, and we unexpectantly came across a group from another clan. I nearly died because Bellamy was too afraid to face the consequences of his attempted assassination of the Chancellor. I was attacked _again_ because a mere boy was jealous of the attention I was getting from Clarke and Raven. I took an arrow meant for Clarke and now have no feeling in my arm. And lastly, my character has been attacked because you, _Okteivia_ , refuse to look past a lie that was supposed to keep me safe. 

If I were as bad as the Ark Council, the moment I recovered from the attempt on my life, I would have ordered to attack your camp. If I were as bad as the Ark Council, I would have let you starve and freeze as I ate my full and remained warm. If I were as bad as the Ark Council, we would not be here now and allowing you to air out your grievances or coming up with a plan to ensure the alliance benefits everyone. If I were as bad as the Council, I would have you, _Okteivia_ , killed for your blatant disrespect of not only my person but my authority.”

I paused to let my words sink in and stepped close to Octavia, “So, _Okteivia kom Skaikru_ , am I like the Ark Council?”

The tent descended into tense silence as we waited for Octavia to speak. She attempted to hold my gaze but couldn’t. Her eyes dropped, and she took a step back in defeat.

“No,” Octavia reluctantly acquiesced. “You’re nothing like the Ark Council.”

“Then forgive me for lying about my origins, _strikgona_ ,” I sincerely spoke. “Accept that I have done nothing but try and help you. That I am going to continue to help you. And understand that this is the last time you will be allowed to question and disrespect me openly. Next time, I will not and cannot be so lenient.”

“I…it’s…you know how I feel about liars, Harlee,” Octavia relented, and I nodded. “But, I will try.”

Knowing that was the best I would get out of Octavia, I relaxed and went back to my throne. Sitting down, I said, “As I began to explain last night to Raven, as a leader, I do not have to explain myself. The decisions I make are made with my people in mind. Always. I expect my orders to be obeyed, but they are never unreasonable, nor are they something I would not do or have not done. _Heda_ is much the same way. The only difference is that she has twelve clans to take into consideration compared to my one. That is what you have to remember when you negotiate the terms of this alliance. But before we move on, is there anything else you want to know about my time in your camp?”

“Yeah, there is,” Octavia spoke up, and Clarke hissed at her. “Calm down, Clarke. It’s something we’ve all been wondering since last night.”

“And that is,” I prompted, arching a brow in question.

“How the hell did we not notice an extra person in camp?!”


End file.
